Lost and Gained
by RideTheGlitterDick
Summary: Bella gets pregnant after a quickie that was supposed to mend her broken heart. How can she make a player into the father he needs to be and the lover she needs? Mature Content.
1. Prologue

**A very short taste of the story...So short. Oh well... **

**Remember: First FanFiction. B nice, please!**

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What am I supposed to think now? My life is done – yes, that is a very sad thing to say...but its so true! I mean, years ago when people told me to treasure what I have because it could be gone in seconds, and I would have ignored them with great glee. And now, I would have been ashamed for shrugging that off, because they would have been right.

We were so right, like we were perfect and fit together to the max, fitting in more than one way.

The most devastating thing was the fact I was sure he was going to ask me to marry him soon.

Maybe the feelings I had for him were not the same as he had for me and I was too blind to see that. What if it wasn't even love I felt? What if it was just lust? That made me want to fall to my death, as I had dedicated years to this man as well as my life.

But it had to be love. The feeling like you were soaring and miles from the ground, a deep pull in the pit of my stomach, and an intense heartache. That was the feel of love. When I saw him and all his beauty, I almost died. We were perfect, and now we were done. My stomach and heart yearned for him at the sight of his picture in my mind. Tears poured at every thought I had of him, wishing he was beside me. A part of my heart was gone, taken, and never coming back no matter what. Could I deal with that?

It was worse than having to put your dog down after years. Worse than watching a parent being slaughtered, and worse than having your breath cut off and withering away to nothing. It was the loss of onetime love. The distance of being complete. Of losing the one you love and care so deeply for. It felt like someone ripped my heart from my chest. I was alone now.

The pain hurt most because of how close we had become, how close we could have gotten. He was perfect, and I did fear that he would find someone more special, beautiful, and younger then I was, but I tried to ignore that for the sake of us. Yet that did not do justice. We ended up suffering, falling under, sinking from cloud nine. Falling to the depths of a black abyss. How could I forget him? We had something special -- he was my first everything, and he's gone. Just ripped himself from my grasp and left me to wither and wish I'd done something differently. But maybe I couldn't have done anything to safe us, and I was just so caught up in the love we really did not have to see we were suffering. Was I smothering him? Had I been the one to do something wrong, or had I done something right?

He was perfect, and I wasn't. I did not deserve him, deserve something like that. But I also did not deserve to be used. Yet I couldn't seem to blame jack on him because of the feelings left over from the fallen relationship. We'd melted away from each other, which hurt more then the whole separation part.

We were a whole, one being, melting and embodying to the other. Besties and lovers, all at once, and nothing ever effected us like we isolated ourselves in our own world, where only the other existed. How could he throw that away? How could he pretend we didn't matter, and toss everything aside for...nothing? Well, in my opinion it was nothing. To him it could have meant the world. But I would never know. I was stuck on a couch, watching TV and eating the sweetest comfort food I could find. Questions whirled in my head while tears poured down my cheeks. Day after day was the same. Repeat after repeat.

I was blinded -- blinded by the love I wished was there on both sides. I loved him with all my heart, his perfections and his flaws. He was the deepest person I knew and the only one that mattered. I had nothing now. Nothing but a soar, broken heart and a dead life. There was no reason to live now, now pleasant way to get out of it, either. But I would find a way if I had to. If I really needed out so bad, I could sacrifice a few smooth, pale wrists. No, that would not do any good.

I would never be Mrs. Jacob Black.

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**Like I said, short short short!**

**More to come! :)**

**-Mickey**


	2. Work

**Hope you enjoy. Please review!**

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There are some things people can't explain, and how my relationship with Jacob went downhill is one I didn't like to talk about. I could mourn over the loss of the one relationship I wanted to take seriously and the one I loved to death being a loss, or I could move on. Yeah, the first was the only option I was ready for.

"You need to get off the damn couch!" Alice shouted through the two-story apartment.

"No I don't!" I yelled back, nestling into the crook of the arm and scooped out another spoonful of Heavenly Hash. "I can stay here as long as I want!"

"Well groping over past memories isn't going to get you anywhere. You have to work in an hour, and you haven't even been there in two weeks." Alice appeared in the living room doorway, dressed on a flowing skirt and ruffled blouse. Her hair ordered in dark spikes. "Okay, Bella, listen to me. Jacob is an idiot. Ever sense he dumped you, you showed up at our doorstep and we took you in. Of course that's not a problem whatsoever, but you need to get back on your feet."

"He's a total prick," a distance voice added.

"Rosalie," Alice hissed. "Bella still loves him, so don't call names. Anyway, you work in an hour so get up and get ready. We're not letting you fall through the cracks."

"Yeah, I mean, that idiot is so not worth it," Rosalie added as she entered, fixing a dangly earring in her right ear. "Bella, you can do so much better. Like if you guys had kids, can you imagine how..." She pretended to gag, sticking a finger down her throat.

"I'm sorry not all of us have perfect relationships like you, Rose," I replied hoarsely and sarcastically, my voice proving all the tears I had. "Not all of us can keep a strong relationship like you and Emmett."

"That's not what this is about," Alice told me sternly, combing through my ratted hair. Her nose wrinkled as she estimated the length of time it had been sense I'd stepped in the shower for a good wash.

"Well, Emmett and I have great sex every day," Rosalie replied proudly, fixing her blazer. "It keeps us both happy. What did you do to drive Black away?"

"I did not drive him away!" I screamed at her. With a stunned look, she stepped away with a brief 'goodbye' and out of the room. Seconds later the sound that she was safe out of the door had me regretting what I said. I didn't drive him away, did I? We had our altercations but nothing to really drive us apart...No, that's a lie. That time...time_s_....Fuck, I did drive him away!

"Bella, I know that's not true," Alice cooed in my ear as she slide in beside me, under the fleecy blanket. She dipped her pinkie in the ice cream dish and licked it, before taking in from my hands. "You have spent two weeks on this couch, day in and day out, and only eating ice cream. I mean, Jacob always seemed, like, little offbeat to me, but he was a decent guy for you. Still, you can't just wish for him to

come back." She stood, my ice cream locked in her little hands. "Time for tough love, Bella. He is never coming back for you. He. Does. Not. Love. You. I know its hard to accept, but you have to. Now get up and get ready. I already laid out clothes on your bed, which, might I add, has not been used in probably months."

"Damn pixie," I muttered, throwing the blanket off of my body. "For your information though, Alice, Jake and I slept in that bed two weeks ago. That's why I don't what to sleep in it."

"Well I can get you a new one," she replied like it should be obvious. "Just say the word."

"No, Alice." I headed for the stairs to the second floor, ignoring the ache for ice cream, my comfort food. I had taken off three – little did Alice know – weeks off of work because of the rough patch, then, when the first week passed and it all got worse, I couldn't bring myself to go back. Teaching inconsiderate teenagers about English was not the first thing on my mind with the troubled relationship. Especially the fact they never paid the right attention and ended up wondering why they got such bad grades. Even the ones that sucked up in non-teenage ways wondered why they were practically failing. Yes, I taught at a school with horribly provocative students.

"Oh, and I need you to drive me today!" she called up the stairs.

I glanced down at her little face. "Why?" I asked sceptically.

"Because there's something wrong with my car, so Jasper is looking at it and he's gonna drop it off tonight for our date."

With a roll of my eyes, I nodded slightly and continued up the steps. My first real time being _up_ sense Jacob broke-up with me, and I did not feel any better. My heart felt like it weighted a thousand pounds and then some, like I was missing my existence. Or trying to swim from a shark or undertow in the ocean, and go figure, failing at it miserably. Could things get much worse than this? If this was the early stage, how bad could the later stages be? Now I pretty much cried all day while sitting on the couch watching TV and eating some kind of junk food. I never left the house, only to get some kind of sweet food if anything, and never joined meals and rarely spoke when Jasper or Emmett visited. I never left when my roommates invited me to go clubbing or to dinner or shopping with them; I stayed silent and kept quiet. The thought of what Jacob and I were and could have been stuck with me. Would we have ended up married and with children in the near years.

After a thorough shower – yes, buying time -- I slowly slipped on the hot pink ruffled blouse and high-waisted black skirt, tying the shiny belt around my upper waist. Apparently this is how Alice saw a young English high school teacher dressing, which I couldn't say I agreed with, but nonetheless. Half the time I was glad she helped me with these choices and others I preferred to be dead. I swear I got the wrong attention from half the students alone. I hurried with hooking on the tall black

heels and grabbed my bag, before stumbling down the steps.

"God, you could have told me you needed help with your hair," Alice huffed as she saw me descending.

I ignored her. "What of the school is not expecting me?"

"I already called them and told them you'd be coming in, Bella, so don't worry. They said your class has drove subs away." Alice laughed. "You must have a way with kids."

"No," I told her icily. "The way you dress me has a way with kids."

Her laughed turned to a howl. "I didn't mean to make you more attractive. I mean, I know I have that superb talent, but I didn't think it went far enough to turn high schoolers on. Maybe then you should just unbutton the top..." Her hand reached out mockingly but I slapped it away.

"Alice." I rolled my eyes. "Let's just go."

Alice being Alice can be a horrible thing. I mean...Alice. See? She makes people at a loss for words, but so does Rosalie, except that's different. She rambled about diner plans tomorrow – which just so happens to be Saturday. This brought a smile to my face as I realized this was the perfect day to go back to work. On a Friday. How lovely? Apparently – drum roll – I am invited to these plans and there is no backing out, says Alice.

"I will have Emmett come in the apartment and drag you out by the feet, if I have to," she warned happily, probably enjoying the visual she had in her mind. "We're gonna go out after we help them move. Yes, Bella, _we_."

"What?" I hissed. "Where? Okay, why am I suddenly being involved in things I did not sign up for?" My hands clutched the steering wheel tighter.

"Bella, Emmett of course wants to see you. He loves you about as much as he loves Rosy. You're his little sister." Alice leaned into me. "And if I have to do it, so do you."

"Life sucks," I groaned.

"Oh, don't be such a downer! Tomorrow morning we're going over to Jasper and Emmett's to help them move their stuff into their new apartment, which is..." Alice paused dramatically, nearly bouncing off her seat with the widest smile.

"Spit it out," I moaned, turning into the mall parking lot.

"Just four doors down the hall!" she squealed, clapping her little hands, bracelets hitting together in a musical sound. "Plus, Rosalie's brother moved in with them, like, a day ago and he's moving in too. I didn't even know she had a brother besides James...Well, _had_ a brother."

We took a mutual moment to mourn silently over Rosalie's dead brother. He had died in an accident two years ago. Alice and I had gone to the funeral, but so did Jacob so I had a shoulder to cry on. We'd known each other for years, Alice, Rose, and I. Alice and Jasper were no recent thing, and neither where Emmett and Rosalie.

All old news. Alice was sibling-less and so was everyone else that I knew of. Except, apparently, what I knew was off because Rosalie had a secret brother that no one knew of, that she had never mentioned in all our years. Must be some big secret there.

"Well, Alice, do I have to pick you up?" I asked with a sigh.

Alice's little eyes assessed me. "No, I'll get Jasper to, but, Bella. You might want to get a coffee on the way. Just in case."

"Goodbye, Alice," I groaned stiffly through my teeth.

"Love ya." She kissed my cheek before hopping out and skipping off to the mall. No, her job was not a pro-shopper. She worked at some store...some overpriced store or whatever. It was one of those places you walk into and you can't hear anything because of the loud music and totally vacant.

I took her suggestion and got myself a coffee to finish what the shower started. I couldn't seemed to fully wake up, though. My mind was stuck in a permanent state of loneliness and pain. My arrival at the high school was early, surprising and dreadful, I parked in the teacher's lot. The building still looked the same after these three weeks, but now slightly more dull, which was no doubt from my mood.

Within minutes, I was in my classroom to quickly prepare. I made it past mostly unnoticed if the principle hadn't shouted out my name when he saw my presence. That struck a mild conversation, mostly on how "my uncle in Chicago is doing and how he did in his vertebra surgery". Alice got ahead of herself. What's a vertebra? Who's my uncle? It only took seconds before I realized how much she had covered for me, to protect what school-dignity I still had, which wasn't really much to go on but still...A few little "hi" here and "how are you?" there. Simple yet annoying. Then I got caught in a conversation that I had to weasel out of quickly. Mr. Mike Newton, the science teacher, wanted to know how Jacob was. Before I could answer I lied, saying I had to get going quickly. Now he wants to have dinner one night. What is up with people and dinners?

As I got to my class, I quickly scanned the comments the substitute had left. Ouch. Disruptive, rude, slang, violent. Go figure. Classic, teacher goes away and act like a total idiot. He left the lessons they did, which made us done term one's lessons. If they thought they were getting away with this they were so wrong. There was still two weeks until term two started. What was there to do now? I sipped my coffee and when I glanced down at my desk, it slipped from my hand and feel to the floor. Luckily the lid did not pop open, but I didn't care.

A picture of Jacob and I sat there in a wiry silver frame. The picture was perfect, so perfect, so natural. Jacob had his huge, dark arms around me, nuzzling my neck, which made me laugh. We looked so happy, so complete, like one loving couple. I had to forget him. Forget how much he impacted my life. I tossed the bitter frame in the wastebasket. The last thing I needed was to break down during class

from seeing that picture, because we looked just too happy and together. And that was no longer the case.

Now we are separates, living apart from each other, and that is never coming back to me.

The bell rang shrill overhead, and in seconds familiar faces poured in through the open door. Voices rose and halted when I locked eyes with several students, as they shuffled through the rows of single desks to their assigned placement. A few changed -- in terms of haircuts and colors, at least. Every individual was seated in seconds and a thick, odd silence filled the air while I just evaluated each of them. I glanced down at the disappointing comments left from the sub.

"Dickerson, Wes, and Riley," I addressed them slowly. "Up front. Now."

"No thanks, Bella, I like it back here." I didn't bother to look up to see who had disobeyed instruction.

"It is Ms. Swan to you, Riley." As I finally looked up, I saw the three class clowns exchange a long glance before shrugging and switching places with the three kids upfront. The ones that actually paid attention. These boys were the most disruptive of all of them and dressed like black men. **(No offence, whatsoever.)** White boys trying to be black, as my father once put it. **(He really did.) **Baggy jeans, graphic tees, colourful, and full underwear showing. How can anyone stand it? **(Really.)**

Silence fell again.

I leaned against the front of the desk.

"So you wants to tell me what happened while I was absent?"

Another glance.

"We worked," Wes said with a shrug.

"I changed my name to Dick," Dickerson added.

"I bet you did," I muttered

"We got in lots of trouble," someone from the back admitted quietly.

I nodded. "I already knew that obviously. I think we all know who the reason for all that trouble is -- the same three boys that have detention after school." They sighed and groaned in illusion. "Now, your substitute finished all of term one with you...Don't get excited now. I will find something for you to do, and I can't promise you will like it."

"Yo, dats so not cool!" Riley shouted.

Leaning into his face – which, might I add, was covered in little pink zits – I said calmly, "Number one: don't shout. Number two: no slang. Number three: you are the student." I backed up from his annoyed face. "Now who can tell me who Jack Frost is?"

"He's a poet," one of the kids that now sat at the back said matter-of-factly.

"Yes." I nodded. "Now what..."

The day continued in similar order. The first class had to be most difficult because of the three boys, the biggest asses in the whole world. No wonder they nearly drove away the sub. They talked and cursed and shouted and laughed, they were enough to drive me away. Mostly I asked them the questions just to shut them up. It got so bad that at one point, when Wes made a smartass remark, I gave him one right back. Not really a treachery thing to do, but still, he was being disruptive and annoying. What a way to start off my day back from isolated myself in fantasies, memories, and Heavenly Hash. God, I can't even remember why I _ever_ took time off!

Then I was reminded in detention after school. I confiscated four cell phones, three IPods, six watches, and a bag of candy. What kind of school am I freaking teaching at? The nutty one? The crazy one? The fucked up one? All three obviously. I had given out a pack of papers on different poets for them to complete, and they never did, so I sent them home with them. I really do not expect to ever see those booklets again, much less them being completed when I see them again. Maybe they'll end up using them for some kind of dumb ass drug making thing. I mean, if you can make pot from a dead body, what about actual papers? There were no limits like that in this world anymore, as I'm realizing now. I really should have killed myself when I had the chance.

Or at least stayed at the apartment.

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**Hope you liked and it was kinda short, actually. Hopefully the next will be longer, but no promises because I've been very very busy. **

**Please review!**

**-Mickey :)**


	3. Backseat

**This is an interesting chapter...I just couldn't help myself! They have to meet somehow...**

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I've never really liked the smell of a coffee shop because its always so rich and sweet, especially the doughnuts, but that never stopped me from going to the cafe that fit that description to a tee. It was the place I usually stopped before and after work for a coffee and sometimes sit and read over school related stuff. Like a sensual place to relax and no one could bother me – no one being Alice and the gang. What perfect time to mope without getting in shot from Alice and Rosalie?

With my iced latte, a new twist for me, I sat in one of the closely packed plush chair beside an electric fireplace. All by myself, just what I needed at this time.

As I pulled out the assignments the substitute had left for me to mark, I started to think...

Fuck. What kind of day is this? First I'm pulled off the couch during my intense mopping and sad memory sessions, then I'm forced to work. Oh, where to start to describe work? It – English – was my passion, and teaching at that high school was like fiery hell in an overcast town! Just dumb, retarded – I didn't feel like using the curses that popped into my mind to describe what I was thinking at that moment. Those three boys and I had difficulties sense the very day we met, and that detention session just proved it all to a tee. Plus they weren't easy boys to give detention to because of their free spirited attitudes and constant comebacks, with so much more. They were enough to make me want to strangle Alice for forcing me to go.

Oh, well. Why mope when it wasn't going to get me anywhere? I took out the English test given during my second week of absence and started marking.

Did they learn anything? Did they have any sense of memory?

Half way through the papers I realized no one took this test seriously, and it was a big test! Worth a lot of their mark, which, might I add, is not going to be good now. What kind of fucking dumb peanuts am I teaching? Sense when did "Shakespeare write about sour lemons"? Ugh.

"What the fuck?" I muttered under my breath. Without a second thought, I shoved all the papers into my bag, skipping through the names of the most sarcastic and idiotic students, to the intellectual and helpful ones. Brain's, for one. He was an amazing student and at least paid attention during classes, finishing his work on time. Why couldn't everyone be just like him? The best part? All his answers were perfect and his grammar done to perfection, no slang or unwanted fillings.

It was amazing how easily I could spot something like this because I only started three years ago, after graduating college at twenty. I could tell a good literature student when I saw one, and Brian was one.

Then my mind stared to drift and I was only vaguely aware of the fact I was shifting through the papers very un-thoroughly. My mind was wondering to a certain night with him...

_"You don't know how much I love you, Bella," Jacob whispered in my ear. "You are more beautiful than this beach ever will be – and trust me...La Push is gorgeous."_

_"Don't be ridicules, Jake. I can see it." I swept my hand out in front of our huddled bodies, gesturing to the long span on white sand and darkening water. The vibrant moon settled on the distant edge of the water, as if helping us cherish this moment and refuse to let it go by sinking further. "I've been here, like, a million times."_

_His laugh was deep and shook through both our bodies, a sweet and gentle vibration of love. I moved over onto his warm lap and he wrapped his arms around my waist, burying his face in my soft nest of hair. _

_"I still think your more beautiful," he murmured against my neck, his breath hot fanning around my skin. His soft, plump lips left trails of fire along my skin and ice rushing through my veins with each kiss, and as his hands started to grip and slide around my body, I was suddenly filled with warmth – even with the chill water in my veins. "La Push is nothing, baby, without you here. Believe me." Jacob began to nibble on my neck._

_My exhale was meant to cover my moan, but it only intensified it. _

_On a deserted beach, under the moon and stars, right beside dark navy waters and surrounded by trees, my love for this man intensified. Like a bittersweet burn in my heart and a tight drop in my stomach when I looked at his face or thought of being apart. We were one, we were together. We were in love. I felt the sand press into my body, grains sticking to the back of my bare legs and arms, as Jake hovered over me, and I saw that emotion, that look. The moon cast lovely, gentle shadows across his face and his eyes shined so bright in the dim lighting yet it looked like a million diamonds sprinkled in the irises. My hands ran over his smooth dark face, feeling the mature features and the grin that didn't seem to ever leave his lovely face. The same face that showed me love, the face that promised so much for saying nothing. The face that belonged to the body that belonged to me._

_You can never lose something you never had, I thought as his lips moved down my neck. You can fight to the end of the battle yet still not win. You can win the lottery but still lose. You can be the most beautiful person to roam the earth and still be ugly. You can have the sex but you'll still need to be laid. Having everything or even nothing is not worth it unless you have love – unless you have your true love, I mean. Falling in love is gentle and emotional, and only happens once. You can only truly love once and everything else be lust in the making. Life is not worth living unless you have that one special person to share it with. The one to tell you "no" or "yes" or even "we can't afford it"...All that is what you share with _the one_. And it won't work with one person committing; love was made a teamwork effort. Disagreements are nothing, and I've learnt that over my brutal years, to take and twist to want I want, learn and form to what knowledge I still need. To keep working but not force too hard. Little pushes were different. _

_My love for Jacob is the one, I thought. Our relationship was always natural and so simple. He was my first and my best, what was to force? We fit into each other's lives like puzzle pieces to a heart. Once I was missing half of mine and he completed it, and vice versa. Once we got past those years of denial and the walls I'd put up to protect myself from allowing to love him, we worked together perfectly – even my father was extremely pleased. It seemed to be that I was the only one in the dark about who I loved. My father, Charlie, Jake's father, Billy, and Jake himself, all knew that I loved him and we would work out one way or another. And I missed that how? How could I – I, of all people – miss something like true love before my eyes? And that first time when I really allowed to open myself up to Jacob Black was the best thing I ever did. Because it was the most correct thing to do. I found Jacob, my soul mate, my other half, the only one for me. The one I would only ever love with my whole heart._

_And the love proved itself all over again, strong and unbeatable, as Jacob's warm fingers trailed up my thighs, raising goose bumps on my skin, and pushed up the hem of my dress. _

I snapped back to the vital real world that was suddenly suffocating me. That was the worst memory yet. That was one of those perfect nights where we were so happy and in love and together...Everything I said...everything I decided was wrong. But I was so in love with him, we were perfect and always so happy, and rarely did we fight and things go wrong. My hands balled into fists as I stared into the fireplace, trying to fight the tears of a lost love and the pain in my chest. Like a million needles stabbing into me.

Never would I shed a tear for that man, never would I ever show some kind weakness at the thought of him. He's the past and always will be. He doesn't love me. The chick on the phone clarified that enough for me all those times, I thought bitterly. That gave me some comfort. Suddenly I wasn't upset that my mate was gone for good.

I was pissed.

Pissed by the fact Jacob Black cheated on me time after time, and no one knew about – he still doesn't even know I know!

That was when I realized that with my clenched fists came a test, and without a warning I ripped the paper in half. My right arm anchored right into my Iced Latte beside me. Perfect day, huh? It crashed to the floor, the lid popping open and spilling the light brown liquid all over the blood red carpet. The paper dropped from my hands onto my lap and I glanced around to notice that no one saw the little accident. Just for the sake of it I grabbed all the horrible, disappointing tests and tossed them atop the pile of icy liquid. I hit backside of my left hand against my forehead, closed my eyes and shook my head at my F My Life-worthy day. I mouthed silent curses over and over, not giving a hit who saw or if I was even saying them aloud.

"Somebody's got a temper," a voice whispered in my ear, silky velvet, with a light laugh.

I opened my eyes ready to back mouth the dumb ass stranger, but instead came face-to-face with an Greek god. He sat in the chair beside me and handed me an exact replica of the Latte I just had. I set it on the table where my previous one had resided before I'd violently knocked it over. I nodded a thanks, barely register-able, trying not to nearly drool over the stranger. God, was he ever gorgeous?

"That little move with very easy to detect, might I add," he guy went on.

I glared at him with a sudden flash of anger. "Great, a fucking comedian!" A few people glanced over.

His emerald green eyes took on a fake innocent look. "I must have caught someone in a bad mood."

"You have no fucking idea." I gestured with my hand, making almost a line in front of me, really making it clear.

"Try me," he challenged.

I was actually about to talk and confess what was going with me, then I realized I didn't know who this little strange was. "Who are you anyway? Do I know you or something?"

"Jacob Black." His voice said slowly with interest and curiosity.

My heart skipped a beat at the name. "Excuse me?"

"On that poor grade of a literature test." His chin jerked to my spilt mess beside the chair. "Where you spilt the latte. The top paper has Jacob Black written across it in bold letters." I followed his eyes and gasped, thankful I wouldn't have to hand it back anyway. In my red ink were those very words scrawled over the written work of Datary. I sighed. "I can see it wasn't on purpose," the guy added with a bemused grin. "I mean, judging by the look on your face that was definitely something unnoticed. So, what? Boyfriend, husband?" His eyes searched my hand for any ring. I sat on it before he could get a good look.

"Sorry, I'd love to sit here and listen to you ramble and way off assumptions..." I was on a roll and ready to make a very smartass remark and leave, but it didn't work how I was hoping it would. My forehead fell to my hand as tears started to well up at the thought. So much for not showing any weakness toward the breakup. I'm never going to get over him, am I? A warm, slightly stiff arm wrapped around my waist. And now a stranger is hugging in comfort, on don't I love my life?

"An ex, I suppose," he muttered, and his voice was close, very close. Maybe too close to my ear. A hand ran up and down my back, and, sadly to admit, it felt nice. When was the last time someone of the opposite sex rubbed my back? A tear ran down the crease of my closed eye. Before Jacob broke up with me, that's when. Sometime between him cheating on me, working, and pretending out lives were perfect. Perfection that I thought I saw, but actually didn't. Gosh, that burns.

"Who are you?" I demanded, lifting my head from my lap. I hadn't let many tears go, only a few strays remained on my cheeks, but I was sure I looked like shit yet I didn't even want to know.

"You first." He smiled widely and seductively.

"I asked you first."

"Wow, the last time I argued like this was in kindergarten," he joked with a laugh that would put a piano to shame.

My laugh was less pronounced and choked, annoyance leaking in. "Yeah, whatever."

Again he laugh and set his hand on my thigh. I watched it with raised eyebrows, more annoyance and, well, how pathetic? So that's the kind of guy he is? The player? Two can play at that game.

"Are you hitting on me?" I asked indifferently, taking a sip of the new latte. Well at least he's generous, I thought.

"Depends," he replied just as indifferently, "do you like it?"

I synchronized his face for any sign of bluffing or anything, really. Nothing. He was serious, dead serious. The pressure on my bare leg increased and his shiny green eyes bore into mine. Maybe that's what I needed. To have anonyms love making just to get over Jacob, would it work? I looked into his eyes as if the answer would hit me. Though it didn't I still thought. It always worked in the movies, so why wouldn't it here? What could go wrong? Being on rebound wasn't that bad, but its not like I've ever been there, so....Yes, sex with a stranger to get over Jake. When I realize I can live without him and he's not my everything, I will be fine and can continue on with finding the one I actually do love – for all I know he could be in this very room!

"Yes," I said finally, and his eyebrows raised with suggestiveness. "I do like it, actually." And stood briskly, straightening the skirt I knew wouldn't be so straight in a few minutes. I did feel a little dirty but anything to lose the bitter memory of who I loved...or love....

"Then why'd you move?" he joked with yet another large smile.

I leaned over him in the chair, placing both my hands on the armrests for support and pushed closer to him. "Do you really need to ask?" I murmured. "Why don't you make me forget that Jacob Black? Make my forget everything that happened with him." I stood with a half smile and suddenly my heart was thumping hard and fast. It wasn't like that wasn't what he had on his mind, why else would he approach someone he knew nothing about. I gathered all the clean papers and tossed the half full latte in the garbage, the whole time sneaking glances at him. Even he was hotter than Jacob even came close to. His hair was nothing but golden tousled locks that shone in the lighting and he constantly swung out of his eyes. The ones that glittered in the light. The true definition of an angel, everyone. The Coffee Shop Seducer. I fought a smile and bout of laugh at the name. Man whore, chances are, but nonetheless. Forget Jacob, the new chant.

I ventured out of the doors and either he follows or not, I wasn't about to look. He wanted a quickie – just like I so did, to forget Jacob of course – then he'd come... to my car, I mean. God, double meanings these days! Sure enough, I tossed my work bag into the passenger seat and before I could turn to look him in the face, I was being pushed down on the backseat. Sense when was the door open? I thought. The guy hovered over me in seconds and the door at my feet was closed again.

His lips were so soft and so warm and so not like Jacob's. Jacob always craved the sex when he kissed me, but this guy didn't. It felt like he was actually taking it slow. Odd for a man whore, very odd. Minutes had to pass of us kissing roughly and him on top, when he broke apart and started to kiss my neck. The longing moan couldn't stop itself.

"What's your name?" I tried again, breathlessly. His fingers slowly unbuttoned my blouse to reveal the black lace bra. Typical, right?

"Edward," he murmured against my skin. The fingers of one hand locked tighter in his silky, bronze hair as I unbuttoned his shirt with the other, feeling his smooth, flat chest under my burning hands. Oh, this is going to be so good! I thought. "And you are?" My skirt was shed.

I opted for my full name, just because. "Isabella," I moaned with his neck.

That was all the talking we could let loose. In seconds every inch of clothing was long gone and we were both panting and moaning at the same time. Going into this little thing, I never expected to actually enjoy it this much and compare him to Jacob this much. He was definitely a man whore because he was amazing! And huge. I don't mean like a few inches overboard, but very big. Jacob wasn't that big. And, I never thought I'd say this right here and right now, but Jacob never pleased me this much, and along comes a stranger that has me on my hands and knees screaming his name over and over again as I let loose around him, and I'm too satisfied for words. What was up with that? Maybe I should look into making love with random people more often, but I guess you can't really call it love, maybe lust making.

But after I had reached that high and I thought it was over, he kept going and made me reach four more highs. He was different. This I show Jacob always worked. Orgasm once, leap off, put on clothes, and run. Then go find one of the four sluts he cheated on me with. Yeah, this was way different, a good different. Pure bliss and ecstasy, the ultimate high. Jacob had been the one I'd lost my virginity to so I couldn't compare him to anyone but a complete stranger. So I didn't know if it was normal to feel like this after sex or if you were supposed to. I felt great.

Nothing in my life ever topped that to any extent. Jake was good, sure, but not a excellent and amazing as this Edward. The name that fell from my lips with every mind-blowing orgasm he gave me. But the time we were finished we were covered in a thin sheen of sweet and breathing heavily. Panting. It was not right on any level to say my mood was suddenly lifted by violently fucking a stranger in the back of my car.

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**What'd I say? Sweet lemon. I'm not really one for describing sex, so I couldn't really bring myself to be more descriptive, but we'll see later on. It may change, really. Please review and tell me what you think. Haven't received one yet.**

**Please review!! **

**-Mickey :)**


	4. Reflections

**Okay, it is such a long chapter to me, but I don't know what you guys will think... This actually took awhile to write so I really hope you guys like it though I'm not really sure I do. It probably could be better. **

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We didn't say a single thing after, only dressed slowly, sneaking a little kiss just for the sake for doing so. I couldn't help it but glance at him while he dressed because the orgasms were still tingling through my body, which made it between my legs burn more fiery. He'd kissed my cheek before leaving for his own car, and I plopped down in the front seat trying to come to terms with what just happened.

It was not me to have sex with a stranger, not me by a landslide. I mean, who in their right mind would fuck someone they didn't know? Someone that could even have an STD, and no one would even know. Though I was strongly regretful suddenly, I was still feeling ebullient and fulfilled, until I thought of Jacob and my world crashed down. And along side all the past memories and thoughts came yet another round of sadness and mental conversational.

We were so perfect! Jacob and I were like the sun together; I was the orb and he was the shine. It may have been the worst example ever, but it was the only thing better then "two peas in a pod". We could have been a married couple for how amazing we got along, though that was probably because he didn't know I knew who he'd been cheating with. It hurt me, but I couldn't not pretend it happened. I knew it did, but I tried to block it all out for our future together. Was that a mistake on my part? Should I have let on, and then we could have sorted it out? I shuddered at the possibility that that could have saved our lives together, that we could have still been with each other this whole time. As I speak – or think – Jacob and I could still be together, and I wouldn't be feeling like I had just cheated on him while I still wanted more of that mystery man. What a sick thing to say, though. I wouldn't even go as far as saying he was bad at _it_....

My debate bounced between the Coffee Shop Seducer and Jacob, comment after comment after remark, over and over. Sure the Seducer gave the best orgasms _ever_ but Jacob made me fall in love so hard and deep. In the end did orgasms or love matter? But then brought up the question, which one did I have? Technically neither, but the Seducer was closer on the list. And why did it matter? It did not, that's why. I would never have to see the stranger's gorgeous face again because I would never fuck that body again.

Making it back to the apartment I quickly checked over myself in the mirror. I had very horrible sex hair. I combed through it with my fingers and did the onceover with my outfit, everything was present. Everything except my panties that I could not find anywhere...Damn bastard took them! Shaking it off, I grabbed my bag and headed through the doors, up a flight of stairs.

"Hey, Alice," I called as I entered through the door, dropping my bag and kicked off my heels. I noticed there were two extra occupants on the couch.

"Bella, did you have a good day at work?" Alice chirped from Jasper's lap. "I mean, it was your first day, after all. No one knew, did they?"

"No, Alice, just the same amount of assholes for students with poor marks and attitudes," I muttered.

"Ah, right." She nodded before appraising me. "Bella, there's something different about you. Are you okay? You seem oddly...anxious. Everything go alright?" She rose form Jasper and followed me up the stairs, even after I nodded.

"Oh, hey, Emmett, Jasper. Sorry about this morning, Rose," I added as I lost sight of them up the stairs. I heard a jumble of "hey", "it's okay", and "uh-huh". To which they belonged, I did not know nor care, really. Alice followed silently as I walked to my bedroom and she slipped in as I closed the door behind me. "I'm fine, really Alice. Everything went fairly well, mostly because I dodged serious conversation. Nothing really changed, either. The same kids are still jackasses and have the worst English marks. Half are even failing." I sighed as I unbuckled the belt around my waist.

She looked me over again. "What happened? You seem oddly happy. I mean, did you see your attitude this morning? You were a total bitch!" She handed me my shorts and tank top from my bed. I was comfortable enough to change in front of little Alice.

"I'm sure there's something new, and plus your late. Hours, actually. Its six-thirty." Her gaze pointed to the clock that pointed this in big red letters. "Where were you?"

I mentally debated. Should I tell Alice? I could trust her with anything, I mean, I got in some of my best trouble with her, and she never told a soul – mostly because she would get in a lot of shit too, but still. We were in a trusting friendship, so why couldn't I tell her I got laid by a stranger? Well, for starters, what would she think of me? Would she think I was a whore or a slut? No that wasn't Alice, and it wasn't her to not keep a secret, either.

"Can I trust you?" I asked, sitting beside her. She squealed and clapped her hands excitedly. I laughed before sliding to the center, and she turned to face me.

"You can kill me if I tell a soul." She was serious.

"Okay, you better remember that when you see me coming at you with a knife," I joked, and we both laughed easily. "Okay, so my first day back and I end up giving detention to three boys for misbehaving, which by the way was so useless because they didn't listen to me and only talked..." My anger started to flare and a ramble tipped from my lips.

Alice silenced me with a hand, still excited for gossip. "I don't care unless you slept with one of them."

"No, Alice, that would irresponsible." I rolled my eyes. As her face started to fall and she deflated, I knew I needed to grab for attention somehow. "But I did sleep with someone."

Her voice turned up to high pitched screech and echoed through the room. "Oh my God, who?!" She squealed excitedly, like she won the lotto. I slapped my hand over her mouth.

"Alice," I said slowly and amusedly. "You say one word to anyone and you are dead. And be quiet, for Christ's sake! I don't need anyone downstairs knowing. Clear?" She nodded mutely, forcing her wide smile to tighten into a line. "I don't know who it was..." I admitted embarrassingly. That was the hardest to say, the rest should be a summer breeze. "After the detention round, I headed to the coffee shop for a latte and the grade some work. Then this really gorgeous guy came along and we started flirting and hitting on each other..." I drifted as I thought about what had happened, something that was nothing like _me. _"And the Seducer and I did it in the back of my car."

Her mouth dropped while forming at smile at the same time. "Are you serious?"

"Alice, I'm one hundred percent serious." I nodded and added dreamingly, "He was amazing."

"Ohh, Bella, do you like him?" Her thin fingers poked my stomach playfully, which I smacked away. We both laughed.

"Of course not, I don't even know him."

"So? That means little," she waved me off, and I rolled my eyes. "Bella, listen to me. You need to find a man that will appreciate you for who you are. Jacob"-the very name sent splinters in my heart and chest-"was nothing and never will be. Let him stay behind you for good, in the past. Do you hear me?"

"What's that have to do with anything?" I asked irritated, picking at my tank top straps.

She let out a disbelieving gasp with a huge smile. "You have a hickey!"

"What?" I jumped from the bed and ran to my personal bathroom, looking into the mirror. Yes, I did in fact have a hickey...A huge ass hickey! A big red mark settled on the center bone of my right shoulder, and my eyes widened in sudden hatred and embarrassment. I twisted my neck around for anymore. Behind my left ear was another spot but not as big as the other. I pushed the hair from my neck and gasp-growled. The little bastard! I had the biggest – the size of my palm! – mark that shaped as an oval with the outside shape of curvy lips. "Fucker!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, the sound echoing off the white walls.

"Bella!" Alice hissed. "Do you want them to know?" She stared open-mouthed at the newly found spot on my collarbone. "He was have fucked you-"

"Bella? Alice?" multiple voices shouted distantly. "What's going on in there?"

"I told you to be quiet." Alice sighed.

"Okay there's no time for regretting, Ali, we have to cover these up!" I hissed back. "How am I going to do that?"

"Why don't you just tell them?" she asked with a big shrug. "I mean, its not like any of us know who the guy is, and neither do you, do you?"

"No." I shrugged. "But I can't tell them I fucked a stranger! What will they say...what will they think...?" I shuddered at the thoughts and words I guessed they would say to me. Even the ones they wouldn't. I didn't like the fact they were all horrible curses.

I heard footsteps and whispers, and I didn't react soon enough.

"What are you screaming about?" Emmett asked as he entered the room, slightly irritated. I didn't dare move as everyone filed in the small room and investigated for anything out of the ordinary. There was no hiding now, from seeing the marks, could they pass for anything else besides hickey marks? I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed they had such horrible vision....

"What are those?" I heard Rosalie's voice ask. I slowly opened up my eyes. No, they all have fabulous vision. Every set of eyes were watching my chest.

"Are those hickey's?" Jasper gasped, open-mouthed. I frowned. So much for no one knowing about the hot hook-up. Could the only positive be that no one knew the guy and neither did I?

"Are those _what_?" Emmett roared, and the sound of feet stomping against the tiles, _slap slap slap_, before a hand skimmed my collarbone to the shoulder hickey, but not behind my ear. "Where did those come from, Bella?" I finally opened my eyes to see his angry face, all traces of the cuddly bear he naturally is was gone. He was taking the role of the big brother against the little sister. Was this going to be one of those I-know-what-you-did-and-it-was-so-wrong moments? Would he understand...If I knew anything, Emmett would be pissed and probably not believe me, because in his eyes in man would never be good enough for me. The same thing had even been applied to Jacob. The one I'd thought was right. Imagine what he would think of this...

"Nothing, Emmett." I pushed his hand away.

"Who was it?" Rosalie asked with an excited smile, similar to Alice's.

"It wasn't anyone," I groaned.

"Are you on rebound?" Jasper asked interestedly.

"Or were you cheating on Jacob?" Rose suggested, way off base, but she felt like she was onto something. "Like having an affair with someone and then he dumped you? And you just did the guy again, hence the hickeys?" She pursed her lips.

"No!" I shouted, rubbing my temples. "For your information, I have never cheated on Jacob, Rosalie," I replied briskly, ignoring the feeling inside of me that said _Cheater!_ because of the Seducer. "Their nothing."

"Oh, Bella, just tell them." Alice finally sighed, catching everyone's attention. I looked from one face to the next, all eyes intent and waiting. I glanced at Rose's easy beauty, at Emmett's scary bulk, Jasper's gentle and intrigued face, Alice's small and pixy-like frame. I did have to come clean, but it still wasn't fair. The same day of the hook-up and I have to confess to my best friends in the entire world – I would have expected that one the week after or so. Not so soon, it was too unfair!

"Tell us what?" Emmett asked apprehensively and slowly, taking on the brotherly look on his face.

Alice let the bomb drop from up high.

"She slept with some guy and he was really good. He gave her those. They also did it in the back of her car."

It was silent. Thank you, Alice, I thought bitterly. Well, what now? Did I have to confess what happened between me and this guy? Explain the reasons? Damn, I shouldn't of done it, I should have stayed in the coffee shop all by myself and marking the class work. I should not of lead him on, as he lead me on, and end up getting hickeys from the wild ride.

"Oh, this is odd," Jasper muttered while fighting a laugh.

"Isabella, who was it?" Emmett demanded loudly, his hands clutching to big fists. "So help me God, I will..." He drifted from his threat, face turning bright red with anger.

"Emmet, breathe." I waved my hand in front of his face. This was the typical, overprotective side of him that I'd grown to know and understand. He let out a gust. "Okay, Alice, that was uncalled for because it was not any their business. None of any of your businesses. Okay?"

"Who was it?" he repeated, a little calmer now. "Or don't you know?"

I rubbed a hand over my face tiredly. "Seriously, it doesn't even matter. It didn't mean anything, either, so what's the problem?"

"I'm just gonna go..." Jasper mumbled as he turned on his heel for the door. Alice and Rosalie followed. Why did they have to leave me in this place and state? Momentarily I decided if I should follow as well, but I knew better then to even consider attempting that. Emmett would not allow that by any means.

"You won't understand," I told him quietly. He raised his eyebrows, silently daring me to continue on. "I was only trying to fill the hole I have left from Jacob. Definitely not a relationship, but just to mend the hole, and in case your wondering it did not work."

"Well, who was it? I don't like hearing that your going around to random guys to have sex with em."

Annoyed, I sighed. "Please, Emmett, just go. I need to take a shower and I know you don't want to see that." I turned around, turning the the knob of the shower on, and sighing. All I wanted to do was scrub my body down, scrub off the residue of that skin against mine....Stop thinking about that, Bella! Why did I care so much? Why? That'll teach me for using someone as a sex toy, kind of like how Jacob used me...How I feel dirty! I knew what it was like to be used by someone for pleasure and fun, and I just did that to some other individual. I hurt someone -- that is if that person feels hurt. I know I would, I know I _did_.

"Alright, Bella," Emmett said sadly. I turned and saw just how ad and hurt he was. "Just let me know if you ever want to talk."

I nodded though I knew I would never take him up on that. What would he think if he knew I'd liked it? That I'd liked the way the Coffee Shop Seducer worked my body, the way he kissed me, the orgasms he brought on? It wasn't something familiar to me, the feeling of topnotch pleasure. Jacob couldn't fully compare to that. Ever. But who knew? Maybe he got better within the weeks I had not seen or heard from him. He could be so different now, so...mature. Oh, it hurt so bad to think of him, to think what we could have had...could have if he hadn't broken things off. That feeling in my chest, where all you can feel are splinters poking at your skin and the feeling of bones breaking, was all I could feel and hoped the hot water would help sooth it.

It didn't, it wouldn't, and only got more intense as I started sobbing, _I miss Jacob._ Nothing could comply to that love. I wouldn't let it till he came back.

I didn't sleep, I couldn't. And it was not because Emmett and Rosalie were enjoying themselves somewhere down the hall, but because I was thinking of Jacob. Around midnight Alice came in and told me to go to sleep because we had to help Emmett and Jasper move tomorrow morning, and apparently its an all-day job. Still I couldn't. After my desired amount of Heavenly Hash overload, I cuddled into the plush pillows and draped the silk sheet over my bare legs. I didn't fall asleep to the best dream.

_"Mmm, I love you, Jake." My panting started to slow from the recent high. He moved from off the bed and started dressing. No cuddles? "Jacob," I said confusedly, "what are you doing?"_

_"I'm getting dressed, Isabella." He said it like it was obvious as he put away his softened member. "I have other places to be, your not my only thing to do." I knew he was joking, but what could he mean by that? Did he have other _people_ to do? My heart broke and my body shuddered completely naked. Or did he just have other things to do? That seemed logical enough, except it could also mean something else. Was I only a thing to him? Did I not mean anything to him, because he did mean the world to me, at least. _

_"Where are you going?" I asked in a small voice, shy of the answer. _

_"Out." His thick shoulders shrugged as he grabbed his phone from beside me. I frowned, why could he not tell me whenever he had somewhere to be?_

_"What do you mean _out_?" _

_"Bella, its not a big deal," he snapped. "What's wrong? Don't you trust me?"_

_"No, of course not, Jacob." I shook my head slightly, but it wasn't convincing. I played with the fleecy sheets wrapped around my body. "I just wanted to know-" I hesitated. "If I could come with you, Jake."_

_Now, Jacob hesitated, and seemed to be thinking his answer through. I didn't know what to say or even think. Why would he be hesitating? Was he hiding something? My insides went into hysterics and heart beat at double time. If he didn't leave soon I knew I would have a meltdown in front of him._

_"Why, Bella?" Jacob snapped at me. I jumped with a slight gasp and moved closer to the headboard. "What's going on with you? Do you think there's something going on outside of us or something?" He ripped the blanket from my body and I whimpered slightly. Who was this? This face was twisted in anger and fuming, like steam should be pushing from his ears. _

_"I'm sorry," I whispered. I see I hit a nerve, I thought. "I have work to do around the house anyway...there's laundry..." I drifted sadly. _

_"Make sure you wash some of my clothes." His dark hand released the blanket. "A lot of them are dirty. I'll see you later."_

_I took a chance with the question, even though I didn't know if it was safe to do so. "When will you be back home?"_

_"I don't know," he admitted, and the pain in my chest worsened. He leaned down am kissed me, wrapping his arms around my waste to pull my closer. He pulled back with a smile. "I love you, baby."_

_"I love you, too," I breathed through a thick throat. And he was gone before I could say anything else. His body was retreating and I knew I could do nothing about it. I couldn't save the lost love this absence was going to cost us. Jacob had to love me. Why wouldn't he tell me where he was going and why I couldn't come with him? It was so important that we spent time together. Despite what he said and the feelings of loss I had, I grabbed my cell phone off the bedside table. I called the number I'd only ever received one call from._

_"Isabella?"_

_My boyfriend's lover didn't deserve to call me Bella._

_"Hello, Tanya," I choked out breathlessly._

_"Why are you calling me? I thought we agreed to never speak again," she reminded, more interested then mad._

_"I know that," I agreed. "But I need you to tell me...if...I need to know if your planning on seeing Jacob tonight." I stuttered over the hard words. Four days ago, Tanya contacted me to tell me that she was seeing my boyfriend on physical terms for months and that they were deciding on a relationship. I didn't like hearing it at all and I'd cried so hard. We chose to never speak again, because that would help the both of us, and we agreed to not tell Jacob. I still couldn't fathom why he wanted so bad to cheat on me. What'd I do? Or was it what I didn't do? _

_"Isabella, please," Tanya begged, clearly upset. _

_"No," I said. "Please, Tanya? I promise to never contact you again, I swear on my life. Just...I want to know."_

_She sighed heavily and frustrated, and I heard a bell in the background. A voice called, "Let me in, baby!" I knew that voice, I would always know that voice._

_"Thank you, Tanya." I hung up. Jacob was at Tanya's house and that's why he didn't want me knowing or coming. Being hurt would be an understatement. I was devastated. Jacob loved Tanya and he loved me. Why would he do that? She didn't seem stressed that that meant he was also cheating on her, though, which made very little sense. Did he not love me enough to just be with me and stay with me? Or did he need to be with two women to feel complete? That hurt like a sonofabitch. It was a stab in my side to know I couldn't fulfill a man enough. So much that after we made love he had to go off to another woman for the same treatment or even better. I never imagined Jacob to stoop so low. All those years spent trying to convince I did love him and years after I give in, he was the nerve to do that? That stung deep. _

_I cried myself to sleep instead of doing the command given. _

I woke to something rising in my throat. Kicking off the blankets in a frantic I ran to the bathroom, only making it there in time to bring up all the bile in my stomach. I sank to my knees on the cold tiled floor, resting my head on the side of the toilet. Oh God, suddenly I felt nauseated, so sick. The walls were not staying the right way, and the ceiling was...beside me. What? I looked around in another frantic. No, I was being paranoid and melodramatic. My body slumped down on the floor with the fuzzy dark blue shower mat under my head. I curled up for the second time that night with my stomach settling slowly back to normal, and cried myself back to sleep.

"Might as well," I muttered to myself. After being up all night and all by myself, I didn't have any energy so it was difficult to pull myself from the floor. Bracing myself against the counter of the sink, I looked at myself in the mirror. Aside from the hickeys – which were getting huge and brightly colored – I looked like a mess. My face was pale, too pale to be natural and my also-pale lips were chapped from the night of vomiting. My hair huge in frizzy dark strands and stuck to my clammy forehead, the right cheek was patterned with tile markings.

I stumbled out the door with ungraceful movements, grabbing a blanket from my bed, and headed down the stairs. It was six in the morning and no one was awake yet. All alone. That was just great. I cuddles on the couch in the huge living room that conjoined with the kitchen. I glanced out the wall window at looked at the city lights. I sighed. Seattle these days. I turned on the TV to some crime show – the only thing I watched nowadays. There was a beautiful blond laying on a luxurious bed, her naked body wrapped in gold silk sheets. Her face looked to be smiling and a handful of blue pills sat at her bedside. Some way to die, I thought. I'm just going to die of a broken heart.

Hours after my getting up, everyone slowly started exiting from their rooms. I was surprised when Jasper and Alice walked hand in hand down the stairs, but unsurprised when Emmett departed with Rosalie.

Alice and Jasper came first.

"Bella, how long have you been up?" she asked purely shocked, sitting next to me. "Are you okay? You look dead."

"Oh, well, thanks," I muttered, resting my head on the armrest tiredly. "I don't feel too well, and I was vomiting all night."

"That was you?" Jasper put in."

"Yeah?" It came out more as a question. "What did you think it was? Someone getting it on?" He looked embarrassed by what I'd implied in those questions. Surely, those couldn't have sounded like sexual sounds, could they?

"Well, to be fair, they did sound a little...moan-ish through the walls," Alice told me, suppressing a laugh. "We just figured that Rose and Em were having a _big_ blast." Her and Jasper laughed at some joke I didn't even want to know about. "So, how long have you been up?" she asked with her laughter stopped.

I scratched my head. How long could it have been? Glancing at the clock it said seven in the morning. "Uh, hours now. Couldn't sleep at all form the pain in my stomach, its like that time I got food poisoning. We were at that Italian restaurant when it finally hit me and puked on the waitress, then we got kicked out?"

"Oh, yeah!" She laughed, but I couldn't because of the splintering pain. "So your not going to be able to help us move, then. are you?"

"Do I look like it?" I pulled the blanket up further.

"You look dead." She shrugged her thin shoulders. "I guess you won't be able to then. That sucks, we were going to go to the club tonight to celebrate."

Nestling into the cushions of the couch and watching the fifth crime show this morning, I mumbled, "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry, if your sick, your sick. We'll leave it at that."

Jasper suddenly asked, "How could you get food poisoning again? Don't you have to eat something, like, really bad for you or something that is...I don' know. Just all wrong?" He sat in the armchair nearest Alice. "What'd you eat yesterday?"

"Nothing unusual." I shrugged one shoulder, eyes still glued to the television. "Unless that bastard poisoned me."

"What bastard?" Alice asked, rubbing little circles on the clothed back. "The Seducer?"

"Yeah. Him."

They waited for more. I sighed. Now much I hated talking about my mistakes and wrong attempts.

"I spilt my latte and he'd brought over another one when he came to flirt. That was all that happened. I mean, it tasted fine but God only knows." I shrugged, my eyes squeezing shut with the sudden pain in my stomach. The cramps I had from the poisoning. It did seem suspicion to me that I had taken a drink from a stranger – the same one I also had sex with – and the next day I end up with food poisoning. What are the odds, anyway? Was he trying to kill me or actually hoping to knock me out, to entice me into sex? That sick bastard, I thought angrily. How could any man that gorgeous want to poison someone? How could _anyone_ want to?

"Ohh," Alice cooed in that _ohh la la _voice, "that's suspicious." Jasper and I both nodded in agreement.

"Whatever, it doesn't matter." I shook my head slightly.

"Of course it does!" she shouted, standing from my feet. "It does matter of someone tried to kill you, Isabella, how could you say that? What was his name, anyway? I want to know now so I can call the police!"

"Ali," Jasper warned, but she silenced him.

"I could have just ate something bad," I offered. No matter the idea that did send up a red flag and also made sense, I could not just think like that of the Seducer. I couldn't think that he would have tried to kill me. Oh, what absurd thoughts! No, he didn't do anything, I just ate something that didn't settle right. Something that didn't like my body and system.

"Name?" she repeated.

"The," I replied knowingly.

"The..." She murmured, shaking her head as she tried to make sense of it. "His name, Bella?"

"Coffee," I muttered.

"Seriously!"

"Shop."

"What the hell, Bella! Is it some kind of secret? That you can't tell me who the guy was?" She paused. "Or is?"

"Seducer," I finished gleefully.

"Oh, that's just so funny, Bella, I'm laughing my ass off," Alice hissed flatly.

"The Coffee Shop Seducer?" Jasper asked incredulously, eyes wide and confused.

"I thought it was pretty funny, too, Ali." I nodded slowly. "Look, it isn't a big deal, I mean, seriously. Do you think someone would just poison me? I probably just ate something that didn't agree with me. No need to throw a hissy."

"Fine, but don't come crawling back to me when your on your death bed because of poisoning!" She stormed toward the kitchen with fury and anger bubbling. "Though I will be waiting to say, I told you so!"

"Was that a threat?" I called hoarsely. I heard a cupboard slam and Jasper rose from the chair he'd taken up. She didn't respond, and I didn't think I wanted to hear what she was thinking or wanted to say. I stayed cuddled on the couch, under my fleecy blanket, ignoring both the broken heart and the stomach pains as I watched person after person be convicted for murders. Jacob should be convicted, too, for murdering my chances at love. For breaking my heart – it should really be a criminal offence.

For the most part I ignored the presences around me, as everyone ate and talked. A few hours later everyone was getting dressed and bustling around the apartment for no apparent reason. I think they were talking about Rosalie's brother, maybe, the one that was going to be living with Emmett and Jasper down the hall. Oh, what was his name? Had it even been mentioned? Like it really even matter, though, I would meet him soon enough. It was going to be a long day, that's for sure. I heard bits and pieces of the plan for the day, and it seemed a little eventful and ending with a big bang at the club tonight. If only I was feeling up to the trip, then I could go. But until that happened I would be condemned to this couch. Just a few more years before the heart ache's gone and I could go clubbing again.

Emmett, Alice, Rosalie, and Jasper were start all starting by helping the boys pack up their things. What kind of people don't pack _before_ moving? I'd seen their place before and it was a disaster! It was a given they would be hours over at their place packing up before they could do the actual moving. There weren't many tricks to it, only the basics of moving. I knew it would take all day long and they probably wouldn't have a lot of energy for their little Saturday club night. I would just get to sit and lay here, only making occasional runs to the bathroom to vomit. I'd actually get to lay back and relax while they all worked their asses off. Now _that_ made me feel better.

The gang was half way out the door and as I was sipping water, Rosalie knelt down in front of me.

"Okay, Bella," she said, "my brother will be coming by in about an half or so. He was smart enough to hire movers while Emmett took us as his own personal ones, and sense they haven't even started packing we have to help them, so we will be very later. So for when he comes, here's the key for their apartment." She dropped a bronze shape on my stomach. "His name's Edward also."

"Why do I have to give him the key?" I whined, dodging her head to see the TV.

"Because I guarantee we will not be back in time, and you just have to give it to him so the movers can move his stuff in. Okay?" She was almost pleading too.

I groaned. "Fine. Whatever." I set the little key on the table above my head.

"I also told him he's welcome to stay here if he doesn't want to wait in the other apartment, so don't freak when he makes himself at home, okay?" She laughed at some thought.

"Okay, I got it, Rose." I rolled my eyes. I couldn't care less what that guy did.

"Kay, thanks, Bella. We'll be back in awhile, but call my cell if you need anything."

"Thanks." I nodded in acknowledgement. She left with a called, "Goodbye", before the door shut and once again I was alone. I absorbed myself to the television as a new crime show started. After the third episode in a row this morning I realized it was a marathon, and I was on cloud nine. If anything could cheer me up and keep my mind busy, it was these kinds of shows. Trying to piece things together before they were actually determined kept me busy and interested. Like the male and female – the male dead, the female in hysterics – were all sweaty in the crappy motel room? That rang drugs all over it. Of course later on that was confirmed and I smiled to myself at the easy connection. Oh, that creepy episode that was about the sixth I watched with the murder in the doll hospital. It was the creepiest scene ever and the owner was murdered. This one little girl's mom dropped off this rare doll for fixing, one that you tell your secrets to, and the little girl's secret was so odd...She was only, like, eight.

_"I saw them kissing again, but this time they were naked and I saw everything. They kept saying things like "Ohh, touch me there, that's feels good". Shh, it's a secret."_

It just gave me the chills. I was quick to put how flirtatious her mother was with this teenage boy, and I was right. Her mother was fucking a student. They were in deep "love". Yeah right – even I know love doesn't exist! The boy stole the doll so the doctor-doll dude didn't hear it, and he got killed in the struggle for it. That was probably the weirdest of all episodes, though there was this really creepy one that had to do with transvestites and men going to the opposite sex with illegal and uncertified procedures. I didn't think about anything but the shows through the two shows I watched after everyone left, even when I had to bring up stomach contents, I only thought about the current episode. Considering all points and aspects. I wasn't wrong on many. As I was getting back to my couch and I'd missed the ending of the trans one, another started up.

"Jacob, please stop that!" a mother shouted to what I supposed to be her son. I heart stuttered. How many times had I said that to Jacob, when we were playing around? "Do what your told!"

The teenage boy looked displeased with his mother's words and tone. I plugged my ears with my index fingers, until it cut to the part of death. No one died, the boy only ran away. If my mother talked to me like that, I probably would too. Soon enough the investigators came in to interrogate and process the room thoroughly, and it was no surprise when drugs and condoms were found. At some point after that I drifted into unconsciousness and it was perfect because it was around the Hysterics Time. The mother was screaming and sobbing over her lost son. "Jacob, Jacob, Jacob, Jacob..." Over and over. I was glad I didn't have to hear that because not only did it hurt, but it also reminded me may times of what I said to Jake. Of course in a total different predicament. Though I did suspect something of that mother....

I woke to intense pounding on the door and multiple _Rosalie_'s through it.

"Little late fucker," I groaned as I rolled off the couch, landing on my hands and knees. I pushed myself up groggily and stumble to the door with the key in my hand. Hopefully I could keep down the rising bile in my throat until this guy left and then let it loose. I yawned and it pulled the wrong muscles, and I quickly braced myself against the wall. Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out. Oh God, this is definitely food poisoning and the worst of it I've ever had.

There was another knock.

"Calm down!" I screamed though he was not being impatient. Just urgent. I stumbled slowly with big deep breaths to steady the rising vomit, there was no way I would puke and then breath on this guy with vomit breath. No chance in hell.

Another knock.

I just sighed as I reached the door knob and clutched on it for a moment longer just to push his buttons further. I smiled slightly, wiping the sleep from my my blurry eyes. I slowly opened the door.

And the bile I fought to keep down wrenched itself up my throat in shock and on the figure in front of me.

* * *

**Ugh, vomit. Gross.  
Well, I _wonder _who that could be? Given, I know, but I'm pretty sure its too obvious to keep from the smart people here, so y'all gotta have an idea!**

**I would like to thank everyone who has added this to alerts and favourites! Thank you so much. So review and give me your thoughts!**

**-Mickey**


	5. The Seducer

**I though a little Edward's prospective was very much needed. His thoughts really needed to be shared because its all be Bella's very...opininated thoughts. **

**Hope you like!**

**EPOV**

I arrived at Rose's apartment an hour later then I'd thought I would be. Naturally, my sister is an impatient person so this could not turn out well. I stepped out of the silver Volvo and slammed the door. A group of four hugely-built movers stood by the end of a large truck, awaiting the okay. First I had to get the key from...oh, Bella.

Rosalie let me a message before I was even done helping the men pack all my stuff in there, saying that she, Alice, Emmett, and Jasper had packing up to do and that she'd leave the key with her roommate. Perfect. Getting a key from a stranger, if I hadn't known it was a planned gesture I probably would have assumed something seductive. All four men started up cigarettes and babbling in deep voices, and I just rolled my eyes. Well, at least I'm smart enough to actually _think_ about even getting professionals to move all my stuff. Emmett and Jasper just picked to have their girlfriends help them. Oh, what nice boyfriends!

Without a word to the movers, I pushed open the front doors and took the usual one flight up the stairs. I'd been here a million times though it has been quite awhile sense the last, and knew exactly which room. Last time there had been a spare room in Rose's and Alice's apartment, which had been taken put by the new roommate. I found the door no problem in the brightly light hallway, an absolute lovely apartment, might I add. This could be a good change after all.

I knocked on the door loudly. No answer. I knocked again, still nothing.

"Rosalie?" I called through the door with more pounds. Was she here now? I certainly couldn't call out her roommates name because that would be far too awkward. "Rose?" I pounded harder. The knocks were getting more urgent and frantic. Was there something wrong? Did something happen? I ran my fingers through the messy locks in frustration. Why couldn't anyone just answer these days, without putting up a fight? My knuckles collided with the door again, making the sound of two rocks being hit together. "Rosalie!"

Again I knocked louder, debating whether or not I should call my sister.

"Calm down!" someone shouted through the door distantly. The voice had to belong to the roommate Bella because it didn't make Rosalie's or Alice's sopranos. It was tired and weak almost. Odd. Who I assumed to be Bella took forever before I heard steps on the other side of the door. I just wanted that key so I could make myself at home, why did that have to be so difficult? I knew I would have to help Em and Jazz when they returned with their loads, so why not get mine do so it would be easier on the others and the next run?

The door finally opened, as my eyes widened and I didn't have time to process anything before a load of something hard and oddly warm hit my chest and gut.

Was that...Did she just...Oh my God! Vomit. Chunks of potato-resembling pieces stuck to my T-shirt and slowly feel to the floor at my feet. I gag instinctively, bracing myself against the doorframe. What kind of welcome is that? As someone I've already encountered opened the door they puke right in your face. Now is _that_ supposed to be kind? I was still to shocked.

Moments passed, and as I finally looked up – while suppressing my own big load – she was gone and I hear more gagging and water running. Rosalie did say make yourself at home. I walked in the doorway and paused in the hall beside the kitchen, taking off my shirt and carefully balling it up, but the stench filled the air, it stuck to me. Fuck, I needed a shower now. She was bent over the kitchen sink with her dark hair pulled back in a high ponytail, sipping water slowly form the tape. I watched in shock and...surprise.

It was her.

The woman from the coffee shop, the one that I had sex with in the back her car. The same one that dropped her latte and had written "Jacob Black" over one of the papers she'd been marking. Her. I didn't think I would ever see her again, and here I am, in my sister's apartment as I watch _her_ – both the roommate and the girl form the coffee place – clean out her mouth after throwing up on me. What a treat! What a way to finally see her again! As I watched her crane her neck I noticed a hickey...no more than one mark. Her tank top exposed one on the middle of her shoulder and a huge one on her collarbone. That had to signify our time in the backseat. Those were definitely form me.

She turned around, wobbling slightly. "You!"

"Hey, Isabella. Oh, or do you go by Bella?" I asked sarcastically. Wow, where did that come from?

"Bella, thanks," she muttered. "What are you doing here?" Wasn't it obvious?

"I'm Rosalie's brother, Edward Cullen. Did you not know that?"

"Of course I don't!" she shouted. "I'm so fucking surprised. I didn't think I'd ever have to face you again after that...time! I haven't even met you – I didn't even know you existed until Rose told me that you were moving in with Emmett and Jasper. How could I know you were you?"

I shook my head. "Are you like drunk or something?" She seemed to need to keep her balance an awful lot and just seemed out of it. "I mean, you did throw up all over me!" My voice rose as it all sunk it. I wished I could crawl out of my skin, suddenly I felt so dirty because of the vomit residue. "So, I guess I should _really _thank you for that."

"Well you don't have to been such a douche about it!" she yelled though I was near her.

"How am I?" My voice was just as loud.

A cough rasped through Isabella-oh, Bella's chapped lips as she tried to poise herself in front me. A graceful front, perhaps? "Here's the key, now get out!" She threw something that sharply hit my bare chest and _clanked_ to the floor, which I guessed to be a key.

"Oh, well, Bella, I hate to be the bear of bad news," I said sharply and sarcastically back as I picked up the bronze piece, "but I can stay here as long as I want. This is not just your place – its Rosalie's too."

"Fuck you!" she cursed back in a nail-biting voice. "You...you lying bastard!"

Should I have expected that? "Me? I did nothing, _Bella_! How am I the bastard here?"

"Oh, so I am?"

"That's not what I said!" I shouted over her line of cusses. "I just said I didn't do anything. What, are you pissed that Rosalie's my sister?" Sure it didn't make much sense, but...but how could this stranger accuse me and curse me thoroughly? I did nothing for this...this...inconsiderate, lowlife woman to shout at me like I'd robbed her. Nothing in my right mind. Crazy bitch. "And you even vomited on me! For Christ's sake!"

"Who gives a shit!? Certainly not me because you don't understand how sick I am! And its all your fault!"

This threw me for a loop. I stared at her angry but still beautiful face, so familiar, as I tried to understand and absorb this. I understood that she was sick – which, now that think about it, will probably cause me to get sick because we did...do it – and she vomited, which proved this to a tee. I'd come across many sick people in my profession to know that she definitely had the flu, no ifs, ands, or buts. But that it was my fault? Now _that_ was the dumbest thing I'd ever heard, and being friends with Emmett guarantees a massive amount these really dumb remarks and comments. _I_ was the reason that this Isabella/Bella has the flu? What kind of fucking statement is that? I live to help people not make them mysteriously sick!

"Now your fucking crazy," I told her indifferently, tossing the key in my hands. What a girl, this woman.

"Me? I'm crazy? You were willing to fuck a stranger!" Bella accused. She set her arms tighter across her chest as she leaned against the counter.

"Uh, I'm sorry to tell you this but it takes two to fuck. I didn't wrestle you into the back, you led me out there. You were more than willing, too," I accused, mocking her pose against the far wall. "And I can stay here as long as I please. You can't make me go anywhere."

Her chocolately eyes narrowed, obviously overly pissed with the comment. "You wanna bet?"

I laughed dryly. "And what will you do? This is just as much my sister's place as it is yours. Get over it."

"Ha. Cute," she snarled. I'll admit for a woman she was pretty fierce and controlling, standing her ground, though she did seem a little less productive that way underneath me. "Why don't you go get your little mover guys to put all your shit in the apartment, and get the hell out of here!" She huffed a gush of air from her smooth lips (from personal experience) and tapped her fingers on the counter like she was counted how long it took me to get out the door.

All I did was stare in amazement and incredulousness. This petite woman had the energy and voice of a fire ball, and here I was thinking that was Alice. No, Bella, she had it. Easy to say I was admiring her, at least in my own head, and that she wasn't like any other woman. I also really doubted that I'd run into any woman from a quickie, much less one this surprising. Most woman would apologize and grovel while I knew, I just knew, that Bella would shot the lines back in their faces along with multiple curses to make them feel even worse. This whole conversation proved the trouble I really got myself into with that little fuck. I really screwed up there, that's for sure. Ladies and gentlemen, never fuck someone you don't know, no matter how gorgeous and sexy and kind they seem and...beautiful...

No! Was I gushing over her? Was I really considering her as an actual person and not a woman I barely met once? It was a onetime thing, I mean, its not like I do it for a living. But did any of that matter when all I'd truly thought about was this pissed off female and seeing her again? I did doubt it highly, but for some reason I wished. Things never changed though and I wanted to actually talk to her civilly, not intimately. She continued to throw death glares at me as I thought about this. Even she looked beautiful with a murderous expression.

"Well the least you can do," I said softly, sensing we were off on the bad foot, "is wash my shirt. The one you threw up on." I held my hands up to surrender and slowly reached for my shirt on the floor, sort of like on those cop shows. She almost cracked a smile. Wow, who knew? You can crack a mad-as-fucking-hell woman by showing just how terrified you actually are that she's going to whip around and grab that _huge_ knife before placing it in your heart? "Please," I added reluctantly. After how I was spoken to and treated I had to say the S-word. _ME!_

Bella mentally debated for a second, shifting her weight from one foot to the other and back, fidgeting with her dark locks to twirling the hem of her shirt. The debating look on her face was actually fairly adorable. She reminded me of a little girl trying to decide which teddy bear she wanted.

"Um," she mumbled. "Sure, I guess. I'm, er, sorry about that." She hesitantly walked closer and reached out for the shirt with still feet between us. Well, after all that time of being very close she didn't want to be close again, I thought bitterly. Typical, though, I must admit. I carefully and slowly set the balled up fabric in her awaiting hands, my eyes never leaving her's. Now her face had melted to something soft and sweet and relatively calm, collected. I grinned slightly as Bella turned on her heel and stumbled – literally – up the stairs.

Quite the mood swings she has. It changed so rapidly it wasn't even funny. Throwing up, to cursing, to gentle. I will admit that the spicy look was majorly hot on her perfect little face, but the gentle side seemed to also be the safe side. The one I wasn't so scared of, really. At least not of anything too irrational. God only knows what she would do in the spur of the moment of anger. I shuddered just at the thought. Maybe I should let the movers in and then talk to her, or I could let the guys in and call Rose up to tell her that I was here. Either way I felt I had to make it right to Bella and talk about it. Wow, where did these thoughts come from? I did think that maybe I wasn't too right with what I said to her, a spur of the moment thing, so imagine what Bella could possibly do. We had to talk, there was no questioning the final statement. Things were going to be so much more difficult, so much more odd. Though we all do know each other, how are we all supposed to get along? That would involve getting together.

It would all be too odd for Bella and I if we didn't clear the air. Not in the mixed feelings way, but for the actual sake of the fact I'm the brother of her friend and will be living just down the hall, something had to be done. We couldn't survive this with fog in front of our faces. We needed to be sure of what was going on, maybe have a total and fresh start. That had to help a little bit, at the very least.

Immediately I snapped from the thoughts as Bella descended the steps and stopped in the living room, looking at me.

"Do you mind not been so crusty when I come to the door again?" I asked, slightly sarcastic.

"Do you mind not knocking like your life depends on it?" she shot back as she disappeared, cuddling on the couch I presumed. "Yeah, whatever."

The next word shocked me and slipped out. "Thanks."

Her replied was delayed by a good thirty seconds. "Um, its no problem. Just knock lightly. Please."

Certainly the question was out of place, but as I glanced at her again and saw just how pale and lifeless she looked, made it slip from between my lips. "If you don't mind me asking, what's wrong exactly? Maybe I can help. I'm a doctor." Offering was a kind thing to do as I've been told from my mother, but this wasn't an offer that I really wanted to _offer_. I felt obligated, to be honest, like I should try to put forth assistance. I did my best to not make them come out as snide comments or in a stone that portrayed that.

"No, I'm fine. I-I just need to rest," she mumbled so quietly I barely heard. As she turned her attention back to the television I nodded and made my escape.

What were the odds? The one girl that is so attractive that I can't help myself but to attack, also happens to be my sister's roommate, now what are the chances? How, I just knew, we would see each other often, and how embarrassing it would be! We both didn't plan to ever see each other again, I decided as I walked shirtless down the stairs to the door in a daze. How would this work? I felt embarrassed suddenly. The fact that she had to learn about my ways just like that was shameful and discouraging to myself – definitely not my ego though because that's grown _huge_ over the years from all the...um, pickups. The oddest feeling came over me as I lead the movers to the room while they carried the minor stuff.

I felt _unwanted_ by this woman.

Never over all my years have I crossed someone you wouldn't fall into the trap, into the little knot I made around women. And this Bella didn't want, and I knew wasn't about to, fall into that trap again because she was stronger than the women I dated or played. She stood her ground and argued to a pulp. That was not like any woman I'd even ever _met_, forget dating or quickies. The overall personality of Bella was different and nothing like I'd even thought any female capable of. Sense when did women actually have the nerve to stand up to a man? Like, I mean, the expression of readable fury and fierceness was nothing any person, period – not just woman – had ever shown me. I'd never been told off by a woman especially one that I just met recently – so recent its like crazy, usually you don't see the person you had quick sex with for a few weeks – and actually feel scared.

Oddly, this Bella's behaviour and personality was turning me on very hard.

* * *

**Who gets turned on by a woman that doesn't like them? Odd, very odd.  
As you can see, Edward's "ways" are being let out. It may be the typical Edward-is-a-player-guy-and-he-falls-for-Bella story, but lets just hope mines different!**

**Please, please review!**

**-Mickey **

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	6. Memories

**Chapter 6 of Lost and Gained, I hope you all enjoy!

* * *

**

BPOV

Even the murder of a virgin prostitute couldn't occupy my mind. My anger flushed out every other thought and emotion I could possibly have in the current situation. Why me? Is this punishment for having sex with a stranger? God, why would you do this to me? And right after the Jacob thing! Yet another F-My Life moment. Fuck fuck fuck!

I cringed into the couch further as a sharp pain twisted in my abdomen – definitely food poisoning. Things were so not lightening up in my life. First there was losing the one and only love of my life, and when I slept with Edward to comfort my inner self I fucked it over when he was really Rosalie's brother. Now God has cursed me with being sick to punish me. That'll teach me for wanted to make myself feel better all on my own. All this torture just for me to realize that I will never be able to get over the one I love too much for words. I shuddered at the truth.

The one that was like a sun in a black sky. Bright and lifting, vital and vibrant. The essence to my core of living. Now there was none, I only had a hole in my chest that nothing could ever plug or even fill. No matter what Jacob did to me – betraying me, using me – I could never be complete without the russet-skinned figure with me. I would trade so much for him with me right now, to have his arms around me and his lips at my ear, whispering little comments about nothing important. Enjoying each other's company and living the life we were meant to have together. I had that constant vision of me walking down the aisle in a beautiful white gown and my father right beside me. Every little thought I saw of this had Jacob waiting at the end for me with the biggest grin possible. My wedding. _Our_ wedding. The place where we would fully commit to loving each other for the rest of our lives and no one else.

There would be no committing for Jacob Black and Isabella Swan, that's for sure. Even though it was overly obvious that we would never be one again I continued to think about him back in my life and what it would be like. Then when my conscience told me that there was no chance of that, and my heart started to heart. Lose one love and lose your life. I would be dying alone it looks like.

Quickly I shook these thoughts when the time came for putting the crime scene pieces together. Okay, so a virgin prostitute who was found in a back alleyway and was about to lose her virginity to this creepy guy...Oh, I barely watched the episode! I could never put pieces I didn't know together, it was like putting two different puzzles together into one. Sort of like my life these days. The life I seemed to have no control over, the one that is spiralling down.

The sour thoughts of Jacob and this Edward became a bitter nightmare as I feel into a deep sleep.

Things couldn't get worse than the current standards no matter what. Even if I got diagnosed with a rare form of the flu it would not be as bad as it all already stood. The person that I had a quickie with, the one time I decided it would help cure me like a rebound, has to be my roommate/best friend's brother and moving in down the hall. What I good thing I'm not catholic, because at that moment I was cursing out God. Why he hated me enough to push this on me, I didn't know.

About an hour later – and another CSI episode – I woke up and found myself wondering to my room.

The house Jacob and I had shared was big and full of a lot of stuff, so now my room was damned to that also. I got the queen bed from Jacob's and my relationship along with a TV, then there was all my stuff. There was a bookshelf with rows of frayed and worn books and even more cluttering around my desk and sitting on my laptop. It was the average and plain room of a twenty-two year old. Sitting on my bed, I reached underneath and pulled out a purple and green striped box. I knew this would hurt, but I had to face it all so that I could move on, gave a life and forget what I've lost. The box was where I'd kept a collection of pictures of Jacob and I, and hadn't opened it for well, two weeks.

I gingerly took off the lid and picked up a small stack to begin through. Before even glancing at it tears fell, but I didn't bother stopping them.

It was one of the numerous pictures Jacob and I took while we laid in our bed, him shirtless and me half naked. As I took the picture Jacob was planting a kiss on my cheek and I was smiling furiously with a slight blush. It was picture perfect, just the most lovely of them all. Tears fell harshly. Then another where we were both smiling sweetly with me glancing over at him, the love in my eyes easy to read. That stabbed deep. There were an assortment because we took many little personal pictures where we were showing our affection for each other. A few more revealing than others, but nonetheless it showed the love, and that's what burned and stung. A few of me laying on his chest, us kissing, backrubs and foot rubs, stomach-kissing...all that lovey-dovey stuff young couples do. The little sexual games we did earlier in our relationship before it all turned over.

There were hundreds of pictures, and it dug and stabbed deep when they all showed smiles and love. Now it was nothing but past-love. It shouldn't be meaning anything to me, but I still felt like any second now Jacob would walk in this room and prove the love he still had for me. Like he would sweep me off my feet and kiss me for dear life. I couldn't come to the realization that if he loved me he would be here right now – no, not here. We would both be at our love nest together and in love. With that thought I continued through our memories, the ones that were now only sour reminders to me.

_"This is so beautiful, Jake," I said in awe as we entered a very high-class restaurant. Boy, did I ever look Jacob in a sexy suit! He hadn't told em where we were going, but I did have to dress up. I wore a fairly formfitting sapphire blue silk dress and high black stilettos, so I hadn't quite come to the point of thanking Alice yet. Yet._

_"Glad you like it, Bells." He kissed my ear and whispered, "We also have a room booked."_

_I shivered in excitement. My man is brilliant enough to being me to a fancy restaurant at a hotel, oh how does the night get any better? It'd been awhile sense we had last gone out for dinner or even just together. Being alone with Jacob meant the world, it always has and always would. Jake's hand glided up and down my back in a seductive way. _

_"Black," Jacob said to the waiter. Wow, reservations, too. _

_"Ah, yes, Mr. Black. Right this way." The tall man led us to a round table with wine glasses and fancy settings, while soft jazz music played form some place. There were quite a few of couples together, sipping red wine and talking and laughing. The perfect lives. All the women dressed in pastel dresses and the men in classic black tuxes. Huge crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling by gold chains and glistened in the lighting. This was truly a lovely place. I had no idea Jacob could be so romantic when he wanted to be. _

_As we settled into our seats, took a quick survey of the room and then the menu, Jacob looked up suddenly._

_"I'll be right back," he said urgently._

_I blinked. "What's wrong?" Why was he acting so weird, and why did he have to excuse himself when we just arrived?_

_"I'll only be a second." I watched as he pushed out his chair and exited the room, watching his back retreat from me. I watched on in disappointment. I expected this to be a night without interruptions, so what was wrong then that he had to intercept this perfect moment? _

_Something red started blinking from the other side of my wine glass, lighting up the crystal with disco lights. As I peeked over I noticed his Blackberry had a new message. Hmm...it couldn't hurt if I just took a little peek...I mean, he's said he had nothing to hide and that I should trust him. Glancing at the golden arch door I reached over for the shiny black phone, squeezing it tightly. I knew this was wrong, but I couldn't help myself. I was having little suspicions of him and I needed to put them behind me, behind us. Why did he leave at night, where did he go? Was he partying? If so who with? This wouldn't be a habit, I quickly decided. Only a little curiosity spur. Peeking with little looks to the door I opened the message from Chanel. _

Hey, babe. Can't wait to see you later. Been missing you soooo much. xox.

_My breath caught automatically at the realization. Jacob is...Jacob's cheating on me. _

_Deleting the message and pushing aside my emotions and tears, I prepared myself as Jacob re-entered the room with a big smile. Not knowing I was onto him._

That was the first time I figured out he was cheating. We were about to have a wonderful and romantic dinner, when he needs to leave so suddenly and I found the text message from some Chanel. It wasn't fair that I had to share the very _sight_ of Jacob with the world, but apparently I was sharing it all with the world. God only knew how many there really were.

I let the tears cascade down my cheeks at the broken memories, feeling overwhelmed with what I liked to call my alive life and this being my dead life, before I ran a hot bath, hoping I could melt away the recollections with heat.

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**Now there was a little bit of a writers block to this one, so it wans't as long as I hoped. Please review!**

**-Mickey**


	7. Alcohol

**This story has a granted weak and loose plot, but I've gotten many Alerts and Favourites. So thank you. Enjoy and review!**

* * *

The flu or food poisoning or whatever lasted three days before I could actually stand straight without heaving, but I still played up the sick act for a week, confining myself to my room, disregarding work. Alice and Rosalie would bring me food when I didn't feel like coming downstairs or even moving. They helped me like I was ill, and I was. Ill in the heart.

I was way too embarrassed to make myself present because I could always here to guys' voices. Where there was Emmett there was Edward. And I really didn't want to see him after our little run-in ad then our last encounter. I was finally becoming regretful on our last meet. What I said was rude and disrespectful to him and very uncalled for. What brought on that rush of intense emotion was a mystery. I'd never been one for excessive swearing and cursing, but when he showed up just so suddenly...Oh, it hit a nerve.

It was on my sixth isolation day that I decided to venture out. I pulled on a pair of shorts and an oversized The Killers T-shirt, pulling up my hair as I headed for the stairs. There were no voices downstairs and it was only about nine in the morning on a Sunday. As I made my way downstairs I realized the apartment was completely vacant, everyone was gone. With a sigh I made my way to the cupboards to find something to eat and noticed a note on the counter.

_Bella,_

_We went out for breakfast. It's around nine-ish in the morning, so see ya later!_

_Love the gang._

I groaned. Should have gotten up earlier. I must have just missed them by a few minutes. Picking up the phone I dialled Alice's number.

It only took three rings.

"Hey, Bella!" she chirped. "How are you feeling?"

"Ugh, I could be better if you guys would have woken me up! You left without me."

"But your sick, or don't you remember that?" Alice teased.

"No, I actually forgot that," I said sarcastically with an eye roll. "How long ago did you leave?"

"We left...about...ten minutes ago. We aren't even there yet."

I groaned again.

"Oh, put a smile on your face. We won't be back anytime soon and we might hit the mall afterwards, too." Automatically I wanted to cry.

"You suck," I muttered.

"Gotta go!" And the phone went dead. These short encounters were getting on my total last nerve. I slammed the phone back down on the base and sifted through more cupboards. Has anyone ever heard of morning junk food? I groaned. It wasn't fair! This all isn't fair! If I knew they would be going out for breakfast I would have gotten my ass out of bed!

Sifting through cabinet after cabinet I found a beloved box of chips. Dill. Yummy! Next was looking through the refrigerator for some kind of soft drink or alcohol. As I started reaching for a can of coke I stopped and grabbed a beer bottle. There are some things that canned soft drinks cannot do, and that would be making me feel better. Just a few beers and I'd be good to go.

Just as I was about to raise the cap to my teeth, there were three loud knocks on the door.

My stomach dropped reflexively. I always hated seeing who could possibly be at the door, for fear of it being one of my friends to pull me from the apartment.

With a small groan I walked to the door and gripped the knob for one second, before twisting it. My groan was louder this time, almost a scream.

"What do you want?" I whined, annoyed, leaving to door open and going back to the kitchen. I took a long swig of my beer, letting out a sigh of relief. Sweet beer, sweet beer.

"Bella, we need to talk," Edward said reasonably, following me in and closing the door.

"I'm sick!" I complained, downing half the contents.

"Yeah, you look real sick," he said sarcastically with an eye roll.

"As a dog." I glanced at him as I wrapped my lips around the top of the bottle and chugged the rest of it. With an exhale I slammed it down on the counter and went to the fridge to get another.

"Are you an alcoholic?" Edward asked. "Because that's really what it seems like."

"I. Like. To. Drink!" Another sip, slower this time.

Edward rolled his eyes. "We still really need to talk, Bella. This is getting to be very annoying to me."

Ugh. "It doesn't matter, Edward. Its done with and it doesn't matter!" This was the one guy in the world that annoyed the hell out of me, the one I would rather hurt myself then listen to and see. "We have nothing to talk about."

"Yes we do. Like the fact your avoiding me."

"No!" I gasping mockingly. "Is it that obvious?" I rolled my eyes and sipping at the bottle again.

He scowled and said, "Your not funny."

"Well, I must be pretty fucking hilarious because you keep coming back here," I hissed, downing the bottle and tossing both in a recycling bin. Usually drinking this much was not for me, but after stranger-sex didn't work – and instead I have huge consequences for my mistake – alcohol had to do me _some_ kind of justice. Numb the pain of Jacob, dull the annoyance of Edward. I set out a Playboy shot glass and grabbed two bottles. One of tequila and the other vodka.

Edward snorted and crossed his thick arms over his chest. "I don't keep coming back here. If it weren't for your attitude..." He rolled his eyes. "I mean, what man wouldn't keep coming back here when your dressed like this." A hand gestured to my revealing body.

"Perv," I muttered. "Why don't you put the alcohol where your mouth is?"

"Bring it on, I can out drink you in a heartbeat," Edward warned fiercely.

"You barely know me," I mouthed slowly, going to the cupboard and pulling out eleven – all praise the mighty alcohol glasses – more shot glasses. "Okay, three tequila and three vodka, got it?" I would admit, maybe I was being a little flirtatious with him, but the chance to out drink a man besides Emmett and Jasper I couldn't help but jump at it. "Unless you want to back out now."

Again he snorted. "In your dreams."

"C'mon, pretty boy," I teased firmly, as I filled the little glasses up with the liquid. Damn, this would be good. I set three vodka and three tequila in front of him on one side of the counter and another on my side.

"Sure, sexy woman," Edward replied with a wicked gleam in his eyes. I rolled my eyes at that.

"Trying to be flirty?"

"Don't say you don't like it..." Edward pretended to blow me a kiss. God, did he ever annoy the hell out of me!

I groaned in huge annoyance. He made me want to throw up.

"1-2-3-Go!" I shouted.

It was a blur, the drinking was. There were the sounds of glasses clinking from both me and Edward and slight gulping noises from him. I had the superb talent of being able to literally open my throat and pour the liquid down without having to really swallow. The burn in my mouth was so satisfying that I wished I had more than six glasses to drink. Before I knew it all my glasses were cleaned out and I slammed the final one down loudly, shouting out. Seconds after mine slammed the table, so did Edward's.

"Fuck!" he hissed, throwing his head back.

"Burn!" I shouted, dancing around the kitchen island. "You just got out drank by a woman!"

He scowled, his emerald eyes narrowing slightly. "Hardly. I demand a redo."

I stopped the victory dance and returned to my place on the far side. "Okay, what were you thinking then?"

"Fresh bottles of vodka?" he asked sternly. Oh, he so hated losing, which made me smile more at my win. I pursed my lips and walked over to a cupboard. I wasn't overly sure what alcohol we had because of the isolation. I bent down to look pass the quarter and half bottles of assorted liquids. "Straighten you legs just a little bit more..." Edward said appraisingly behind me. I swung around to face the pervert who had his head cocked in analysis. "What? Those are very short shorts. They also look so tight and fitting..."

"You might want to shut up before I either slap with or get a hard on," I warned, annoyed. I'd never meet anyone so pronounced with flirting, especially someone I hated so much. But to be honest, I was enjoying this little...thing, whatever it was. He was definitely a man-whore. With another sigh I went back to searching.

Pushing past the bottles that had already been open, I came across rows and lines of fresh alcohol. I sifted through the titles, looking for one of vodka.

"Two of vodka," Edward said quickly like he'd read my mind. I nodded.

I went back to work. Two would be harder than one bottle. I pulled out one fresh bottle of the clear water-like liquid and passed past more bottles in the deep cabinet. Bottles clankedagainst each other while I passed them around to find the right one. "Any minute now," he muttered behind me, voice strained so I knew he was being a perv and checking me out. I ignored this as I came across another bottle of vodka.

I slammed it down on the tiled counter and he picked it up to examine it. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"They're not the same brand," he told me matter-of-factly. I sighed, but he cut me off before I could say anything. "But they have the same amount in them." I watched him closely as he picked up the tequila and filled four glasses. "You may be able to out drink me in small amounts, but I can bet Emmett and Jasper. Just to let you know."

"So can I. Just to let you know."

"I'm the king of big amounts," he told me fiercely, grinning wildly. I raised my eyebrows. "One shot from these sexy little Playboy shpt glasses before the bottle and then another shot. The whole bottle has to be done before finishing. Are we clear?"

"Bring, child."

"Caps off." Almost in sync we popped the tops off the vodka with our teeth and both clattered to the floor. We never broke eye contact.

"1-2-3-Go!"

I grabbed the shot glass at the same time as he did and poured it down my throat, slamming it to the counter and wrapped my hand around the neck of the huge bottle. I pulled it to my lips the same time Edward did, still not breaking the eye contact. I closed my eyes briefly as the burning sensation hit the walls of my throat, but I quickly recovered to suck the liquid down. While I pulled down the stinging and soothing vodka, I kept eye contact and briefly glanced at his muscled throat. He was pulling the liquid down faster then I was as he tipped his head back further. Edward's throat was definitely working hard to pull it all down faster.

Both our eyes alternated from one another's eyes, to the other's throats, to the bottles to measure the amount of vodka left. I sucked it down faster, gripped the counter for support and forced my mouth open further. As I tipped the bottle further, and the clear alcohol was an inch from my mouth, his disappeared down his throat. He grinned as he picked up the shot and I slammed the empty bottle down, reaching for mine. As it hit my lips, I heard a big bang.

"Ha ha! Like I said the king of big amounts," Edward gloated. I shrugged and downed the shot anyway.

"So close," I murmured. "So close."

"I'll give you the props for that," Edward allowed, looking a little tipsy. "I've never seen a woman drink that much."

"Oh you fucking wait," I warned. I reached over and grabbed the tequila bottle – which was very big – and pressed it to my lips. I started chugging it down at record speed. As I slammed the bottle back on the counter after a moment, Edward watched me incredulously with wide eyes. "That...is h-how you down vodka, baby," I sputtered out the words, the alcohol already taking its turn. I blinked at Edward again. Ohh...I thought-slurred.

"Baby?" he asked, eyebrows knitting.

I beckoned for him to come closer, and he walked hesitantly closer to me. I held the remainder of the vodka to his mouth and he devilishly sucked it all down as I tipped it up for him. Suddenly, as I glanced at the shot glasses, I wanted even more alcohol. "I say...we have morrrreeee shots!" I yelled swinging around to grab the first bottles I saw and slammed them down on the counter. One tipped over and started rolling for the edge, but Edward caught it reflexively.

We poured more shots over and over, downing them and sucking them down. The burn was gone and was replaced my numbness and satisfaction. It was actually fun, being drunk with the one person I hated the most, I mean. I couldn't see too straight and my footwork was so loose that I couldn't go in a straight line. If it weren't for the fact that I was dancing around the island, I wouldn't know which way is up. Edward sat on the counter watching me with amusement while he sipped – sipped! – at the Cosmo I just made. Alcohol had never been such a remedy for me or even something I did this much, but now I was so carefree and didn't even think about it.

Hours had passed and bottles were drained, and I couldn't even make a coherent sentence or thought.

I laughed hard. "I don't know what it says!" I waved the bottle in front of Edward's face, and he laughed along with me. My teeth fumbled with popping off the cap, but when I got it I took a long swig of the light green liquid. "Damn that stings! Have some, little king boy!" I twisted in a stumble and landed between his legs, catching myself on his thighs. Unconsciously my hands rubbed his firm legs..."Body bottle!" I shouted, pulling my neckline down and shoving the cold bottle between my cleavage with my own devilish smile. "What's wrong?" I slurred at his hesitation, trusting my chest closer to his chest. He glanced down before wrapping his lips around.

At a fast pace he pulled the bottle from down my shirt, the cold glass being dragged up my chest, I giggled furiously. He flipped his head back and downed the whole bottle in seconds. Wow, _big_ drinker! The way his lips sucked on the neck of the bottle, the way his muscles worked in his jaw...and his skin...so soft. I nearly drooled down the side of my mouth. Without a second of hesitation I ripped the bottle from his mouth and jumped up on the counter so I was straddling him.

There was no questioning how hard he was – I could feel it on my inner thigh rubbing as our bodies moved to the rhythm of the make out. Mmm...so sexy, I thought. His tongue pressed against mine and tangled, bringing it in his mouth and sucking hard. I moaned against his soft lips, trusting my hips to him. He groaned roughly around my tongue, sending vibrations around my body. I wrapped my arms around his neck and his hands grabbed my ass, pulling me closer.

"Ugh!" I moaned as Edward sucked down my neck, my fingers tangling in his hair and pushing him closer to my skin. My body started grinding against him.

I gasped as he flipped us over so he hovered over me, his lips never leaving my neck. I got a glimpse as Edward swept his arms out and knocked bottles out of our way. It was like it was raining glass as they fell off the island and crashed to the floor, shattering to a million pieces. I didn't get much a look at the mess nor did I care enough because of how wasted I was. My hands moved to the hem of his shirt and ripped it off his body, momentarily breaking to kiss, but they returned while he pushed my shorts off with his hands, then running them up to pull off the shirt. Personally I pulled out the ponytail and shook my hair around my face before pulling his face back to mine and attacking his mouth with my tongue. My bra fell to the floor and I hadn't been wearing any underwear so I knew the island tiles had to be coated with my juices.

We both had to be extremely horny because we ripped at the remainder of clothing and God, were we ever being rough! Who knew I liked sex rough?

Edward didn't hesitate to enter me. "Mmm..." He groaned. "So wet." The trusts started out strong and kept up hard and deep. His lips glued to my breasts.

"Ugh!" I screamed out as he increased the tempo and my hips started up to meet his hips. Even on the island it felt fine, rubbing against the cold tiles. "Oh my God, keep going!" I wrapped my legs around his waist as he grabbed my hips to pull himself in deeper. I screamed out as his member hit me deep. So deep. I was throbbing.

My stomach tightened as the orgasm built inside me, and with one more big scream from my mouth I was sent over the edge, coating him with my wetness. He continued to push in further, hitting my g-spot each time, keeping the orgasm going hard. I moaned and screamed, arching my back as I rode the high out. I wiped the sweat from his forehead while he continued to push in and out, in and out, wiped my forehead on his shoulder. We were covered in a thin layer of sweat and rubbing closer together only made us sweat, pant and moan more. Again our lips locked and I raised up off the tiles, supporting on my hands and feet while Edward was on all fours between my legs.

For more friction I grinded my body harder against his, feeling his tightly toned muscles around me. I grunted each time I bucked my hips forward to meet his and he moaned in pleasure. My second orgasm started building up faster than the first, but with the smallest sense I had left I wanted him to come with me. I worked harder against him, and as he started groaning, trusting harder, and his cock twitching inside of me, we both we sent over the edge. I screamed out his name at the top of my lungs, feeling a rush of bliss and ecstasy wash over me. I ravished the feeling over his juices coating my walls and mine slicking up his shaft. I moaned as he kissed down my stomach to my thighs and taking a lick of my entrance. He groaned.

"Feels so good..." I moaned out, arching my back and bucking my hips. "Edward, ha-harder!"

Suddenly gasps filled the room.

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**Da-na-na-naaa! Review!**

**-Mickey**


	8. After Affects

**Thank you to all the Favourites and Alerts -- there are so many! Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

We stopped immediately, but I didn't because I was embarrassed or shocked; I had to see their faces.

Edward pulled out – I groaned loudly – and we both sat down on the cold island tiles, staring at each other. There was not a single sound in the room, and that seemed to make it even more funny and make me mentally laugh. We both had our lips pressed together to fight the laugh and smile. I wanted nothing more than to throw myself at him and fuck him senseless again, but that wouldn't be appropriate. (Like sitting naked on a kitchen island, around a sea – he he, its like a pun! get it? island? sea? oh, I kill myself – of broken glass, mid-sex is much better).

I snickered slightly, which made Edward let out a little laugh that sounded like he was chocking on something. I burst out laughing, not able to contain it any longer. Throwing my head back, the laughter rocked through me hard, tightening oddly in my stomach so hard I couldn't breathe. His chuckles were mixed in with mine, and we howled loudly and drunkenly together. It was the only sound in the room, echoing off the surfaces and all that kinda stuff.

Suddenly I stopped and looked at Edward where he sat completely naked and relaxed on the island.

"What's so funny?" I asked, laughing even harder. He shrugged and laughed harder. I loved his laugh...and the feeling of his skin...his lips...his parts...I shivered.

Minutes passed of stomach-aching laughter before someone spoke up.

"Oh my God, Bella, are you drunk?" Alice asked in disbelief, astonishment, and incredulousness. Wow, big words! I smiled slyly.

"What even happened in here?" Rosalie demanded, more concerned than angry. "Is that glass?"

"Are. You. Drunk?" Alice repeated firmly.

"Ah, my dear darling Alice." I hoped off the counter, and was so drunk I didn't even notice the glass shards slicing into my feet. I ignored all the screaming everyone did to try and stop me as I walked. I wrapped my arms around Alice and she didn't even flinch with the fact I was naked. "I am not drunk. I am wasted!"

"That would be a yes," someone said behind us.

I clung onto Alice so she supported most my weight and her arms lightly wrapped around me. Suddenly I felt tired and my legs started to give, my face buried into the side of Alice's neck, my body gently swaying like there was music playing. "Oh, Alice, I love you. I love you so much, did you know that?"

"Look! Her feet are bleeding from the glass!"

I giggled furiously into her neck and she rubbed my bare back soothingly until I pulled away and gawked at everyone's faces. They were all gape-mouthed and wide-eyed! Looking from me to Edward to the floor. I glanced down at the floor and sure enough there were slightly bloody footprints over the shiny glass. I took a step back and hoped up and down on the pieces, feeling them slice into my heels and the balls of my feet. Again I laughed hard and behind me Edward did too. It actually kinda tickled a bit. "I feel free!" I shouted, twirling around on the balls of my feet with my arms over my head.

"Bella, stop!"

"Your going to hurt yourself!"

"Stay still!"

They all yelled multiple things at me but I just ignored it as I spun like a drunk ballet-er...Oh wait, I mean a ballerina.

As I went to do another turn, my foot slipped on the neck of a bottle that survived and I fell forward on my hands and knees.

"Oh my God! Emmett help her!"

I looked up at the four people standing from the glass circle watching in utter astonishment. They all released the colourful bag's in their hands and started to step forward.

"You know," I said matter-of-factly, slurring slightly, "I'm totally fine." I rolled over onto my ass, and boy was that ever the wrong thing to do. "OWW!"

Alice gasped. "Bella!" Carefully manoeuvring the bog glass pieces and on the tips of their shoes, the four of them slowly crossed over the pieces, shaking their heads. "Are you okay?"

"Oh, honey, I'm okay." I smiled goofily up at their worried faces. "That's gonna leave a mark and I'll feel that in the morning, that's for sure. Hey, guess what?" I asked enthusiastically, as Emmett hooked one of his arms around mine and Jasper the other.

"What?" Emmett groaned.

"I out drank Edward!" I shouted, casting a gloating look at his blank face. My voice deepened like when your in a tunnel and it like goes all husky and hushed. "It was awesome! Wow, almost fell there, boys! Hold on tighter!"

They lifted me up off the glass strewn floor and I shouted out. "Wow, boys that'll leave one hell of a mark!"

"Where do you want her?" Jasper asked Alice and Rose as they tried to con Edward into carefully getting down.

"Ugh!" Alice groaned frustrated.

Rosalie suggested, "Run her a bath in her bathroom, I'll be right up to help. Uh, what do we do with him?"

"Well, for starters," Emmett hissed, "get him dressed because I am not touching him when he's naked."

I giggled. "Oh, Emmett. What's the point in touching if he _isn't_ naked?" I called back to Alice and Rosalie, "Put him in the bathtub with me. You bitches came home _wayyy _too quickly."

Jasper interjected quickly. "No. Just get him to put something on and we'll take care of it."

Emmett and Jasper are strong boys, strong boys. They practically dragged me up the stairs, but because of the way I was finally feeling from the glass, I got them back.

"I wonder if you guys are as good as Edward," I thought aloud, the words tumbling. "I mean, he's a fucking beast! You guys should try getting tips from him, this is the second time we have had great sex. We could _totallllyyyy_ help you guys get with the program. You should just see the way he-"

"Bella, stop. We don't need to hear it."

"Wait, Jazz, she's intoxicated, she doesn't know what she's saying," I heard Emmett whisper devilishly. "So, Bella, tell me about the first time," he suggested as we reached my bathroom. Jasper started running the bathtub while Emmett held onto my arm and listened.

"Jacob was my life," I said tipsily and mock dramatic sadness. "And I was like soooo mad when he broke up with me, you know? It's just so hard." I pouted. "I was at the coffee shop, right? Grading something, I don't remember. And then there was this totally hot and sexy guy coming toward me. It was Edward, apparently. It didn't take long and we were fucking in the back of my car. I have to tell you, Emmett, it was the best! You should so do that with Rosalie some time. Oh, but wait. You guys know each other. That won't work then. Maybe you can like pretend you don't know her, and like run into her "accidently" and then you guys will have such good sex lives. And I guess it would all be thanks to me. I am a pure smart cookie, you know."

"Yes, Bella, we all know," Alice huffed as she entered the bathroom. "Okay, Edward's dressed but he wants to see Bella, which is totally retarded so get him out of here. We'll take care of her."

"Okay, love you, babe." Jasper kissed Alice's cheek.

"Love you too."

"See you later," Rosalie said to Emmett as he released my arm to kiss her.

"Love you."

"Oh my God!" I shrieked. "I feel so unloved!"

"Didn't Edward show you enough love?" Jasper teased lightly.

I stuck my tongue out at him while he just laughed it off. "Ha ha, its so funny," I said flatly, still too dramatically. "Laughing my ass off _so_ hard." Still laughing, the two guys headed out of my bathroom and I was left with Rosalie and Alice. "How was your day?" I asked in a squeaky, childlike voice. I rocked on my heels.

Both them sighed before carefully lowering me into the warm tub, stinging the scraps on my feet, hands, elbows, knees and ass. Ouch.

**EPOV**

"And we can't finish because...?" I prompted that little pixie chick.

She huffed. "I think you've made enough mess of this place. Bella is going to get cleaned up. No – don't get down!"

"Edward, stop it!" Rosalie hissed, pushing my shoulders back along with Alice. "You don't have any shoes on. This will not be good. Sit still!"

"Don't be such a fucking hag from hell!" I shouted. "Your not the boss of me!"

"You should like a child!" Rosalie yelled back, digging her nails into my shoulder. I screamed. "Stay here. Got it? You move and you will die. All right?"

I glared at her as she slowly eased up on my shoulder. Alice hesitated slightly. "Just be happy he got dressed, Ali," Ms. Bitch whispered, before they both released me and tippy toed over the glassy ground. I kicked my legs like a child, hitting my heels on the side of the island, and thinking about _her_. Her body, her voice (the moans and screams were, while I replayed this, making my pants suddenly tight), her face, the way her hair smelled...how sweet she tasted...Yeah, my pants are uncomfortably tight.

"Fuck!" I shouted when my feet made contact with a huge piece of glass. "Shit...SHIT!" I shouted louder as my right foot hit the bottom of a smashed clear bottle. "Ow ow ow ow ow!" I cursed, hopping over the bog pieces of glass (even if that meant stepping on the little ones) to the living room. Without a second of hesitation I crashed down on the couch. The stinging in my feet started to dull as I eyes started to drift. "Mmm...tired." I yawned.

As I shifted onto my stomach – which, by the way, is very full of alcohol and upset – and nestled my face into the puffy cushion, but the turn did something weird...

I bent over the side of the couch and heaved the bile rising in my throat all over the floor.

Two hands pushed me back down on the couch when I was about to fall over. "Wow, careful," a soft voice said.

"Oh, thank you, Bella," I stammered, my eyes closing and head lolling to the side. "I love you so much. Nighty-night, baby."

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**Guess you just gotta love alcohol! No, totally kinding, but I do have to say: for me this chapter was a bit of a bust. Don't get me wrong, I read this whole thing aloud and imitated the voices to perfection. (Want the same effect? Read in a tipsy, pitching voice like your drunk!). It could be better but nonetheless...  
Thanks for reading and please review!**

**-Mickey**


	9. Surprise

**Took a very long time to get this out and I'm soooo sorry about it, but I've been so busy! Enjoy, y'all! **

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**BPOV**

I woke to a thumping, a weird drumming kind of sound. Hesitantly I opened my sore eyes. I was in my bed and it was dark out, but that's all I could see. I was so sore on every part of my body, and with taking a moment with my eyes closed and light breathing, I realized the hammering was a headache. A horrible one at that. It was like something was in my head trying to fight its way out. Slowly I sat up and felt a whirlwind before heaving it to the bathroom to vomit.

Hangover, huge hangover. Oh, and exhaustion. I took moments to collect myself, to regain mental balance. What happened?

With a slight struggle to get to my feet I stumbled from the bathroom, catching myself on nearly every object in arm's reach as I made my way to the door. Something traumatic had to have happened for me to be so...blah. There were no voices and I noticed it looked very late out. Very very late...or very early. Either one.

I paused (difficultly, nonetheless) at the bottom of the steps and listened when I heard an eruption of voices.

"He said he loved her." The voice was deep and husky with a slight teasing tone. Emmett, no doubt. "Well, I hues Jasper sounds like a girl then. I mean, we all _did_ see the evidence that Bella's one hundred percent female." There was a collection of groans. Everyone was there. Oh, boy.

"Bella just threw up." The voice was too high and too no-nonsense to be Rosalie. "She didn't gush about anything lustily-ish."

"Actually," it was Jasper about to contradict, "she wanted to give us all pointers on our sex lives. She said we should try role-playing."

Rosalie huffed. "Oh, sweet God. Those two are messed up!"

There was a snort before Emmett's voice came into the mix. "Well, obviously! I mean, did you not see the island."

"Whatever. They have to clean it up. There is no way I'm touching _that_...They should just be luck we cleaned up the glass."

My face heated up like a campfire. And then the memories started to pay across my eyes similar to bad slideshow, and I ran back up the stairs in time to bring up the rest of my empty stomach. Oh God. Everything came back to me like a rush of water. The intense amount of loaded alcohol, the sex...with Edward...

It all hurt and pinched at me. How could I let that happen? How could yet again sleep with Edward, and at the time where everyone saw? My cheeks burned harder, painfully, and I hunched over the tiles to press my cheek to the icy cold tiles to think with what little non-alcohol effected brain power I had.

Edward and I hooked up that one time at the coffee shop to heal to pain from my breakup – and now the pain sprints as I think of Jacob – and I didn't want anyone to know. It could have been kept a good and successful secret had we not gotten hugely drunk and had sex on the kitchen island, when everyone shows up to see the action. It was the worst, no doubting in that statement. It could have been so much better, so so much better. I shouldn't have had to be put through such a sudden imbalance like that after the hard breakup. Ugh, life totally sucks. Don't let people tell you otherwise.

"Bella? Bella, are you okay?" Alice's voice broke through my mental recollection.

"Hmm?" I moaned into my arm snuggling into a tight ball for protection. God, this could not be good. I heard light footsteps brush against carpet and then smack over the white tiles, capping closer and closer to my head. I recognized the footing balance as Alice's lethal dancer's step.

"Did you get sick again?" she asked, voice close to my head. "I heard you downstairs."

Groggily and painfully, I sat up slowly and she helped support my weight by grasping my shoulders. "I...yeah. I heard you guys talking about...uh, last night? About me...Edward...the glass...and I threw up thinking about it." I shook my head and winced at the pain in short through my scalp. "I'm sorry."

I heard Alice's sympathetic sigh. "Don't be sorry. I understand the effects of alcohol." It sounded like a double meaning. "But I don't understand."

Again I shook my head, more slowly and less noticeable. "I...I'll tell you later. I'm so tired."

With assistance I got up from the floor and stumbled to my bed, and Alice got me situated under the blankets and cozy. In seconds I was out again.

I was more than apprehensive to physically get up when I woke for the second time. I could actually see my clock and it read two in the afternoon. My ears couldn't register with any sounds around me, so I didn't know if anyone was in the house, but I was still so scared. Scared to have to face people, when they knew _everything_ – Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, and Alice saw it all! They knew what was under it all. And that was too frightening for words. I didn't like the idea of it.

I didn't bother to dress – I was dressed in what I must have fell asleep in; white lacy bra and underwear – before pausing in the bathroom to see if anything would be coming up. I felt nothing though the headache still thumped and pounded like a jackhammer. Slowly and unsurely I started to make my way downstairs when something caught my eye.

Sitting atop my dresser was a box of tampons that had been sitting there for awhile now. Shaking my head (still slowly) I grabbed them and started back to the bathroom. But then I froze as I really looked at them. It seemed like such a long time sense I had to use one...

I staggered on my feet.

That's because it has been a long time! My mind screamed at me. And with that I started The Count.

My period was over over a week late.

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***Gasp*. I **_**wonder**_** what that would mean!? At first I contemplated putting that part in, but I decided I might as well. It helped get the SHORT chapter out sooner. I want to apologize for the wait, and you may have to be very patient with me. I have three novels going and I'm so so so so sorry if I get anything mixed up: places, characters, dates, etc. **

**Next chapter will have a bigger elaboration on the dates and her feelings, possibly telling someone....**

**-Mickey. **


	10. Calculations

**Du-nu-nu-naaaaa! Enjoy! **

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Edward and I had had sex one time and I had been expecting my period roughly two to four days after that. It had been about a week and a half ago that we were intimate at the coffee shop. I've never been late in my life! I mentally screamed. There was no doubting it. It was there..._here_...It was obvious, and I knew it.

I was pregnant with Edward's baby.

_No! _

Sense the day I met Jacob Black I wanted to have his baby and his only. Not the guy I hated with all my guts (though also the same person I couldn't stay away from)! I dreamed of the adorable little black haired children with dark eyes running around, calling me "mommy" and Jacob "daddy." Why was that too much to ask for?

And now I wanted nothing more than to be with Jacob, be in his arms, and talking about our child. Our beautiful child.

But I was cold and alone in my bathroom, pregnant with a man's, who I despised, baby. Uh, that was not my fantasy with finding my pregnancy, but then it also included Jacob, so of course it was a total blow. By any means did I not want to have Edward's baby. I mean, sure he was the true definition of both tall, dark and handsome and total sex on legs, but I also couldn't stand him all because of the coffee shop quickie. Maybe that wouldn't have been the case....

No, you only want Jacob! Yes, the only man I could ever love is Jacob Black, the one who got away from me for another woman. I sighed at this. The one I'd let get away. A sob escaped me.

It was my fault Jacob left, I was the reason he didn't want to start a family with me. For a moment I scolded his mistakes and problems that involved me, then I looked at the other things that should have been paid more attention. I let Jacob walk all over me. I let him get away with cheating. I let him do as he pleased. I let him use me, and never did a damn thing about it. Then why did I still want him? Why did I still need him? He couldn't possibly love me. And now here I was stuck with a baby that belonged to the more despicable Coffee Shop Seducer around.

If Jacob loved you, he would be here right now and that baby would be his.

My mind repeated that over and over, like dumb lyrics to a song. But they were true. If I was truly loved then I would not be here at Rosalie's and Alice's apartment, sulking over a man I could never have and doesn't want me, and pregnant. _Pregnant! _

If I knew what this meant correctly, I would be raising a child on my own. I mean, I couldn't just get rid of it. Even if – not that I'm doubting – it is Edward's baby it is still mine, too, and it was not going anywhere whatsoever. Momentarily I considered abortion but then I realized this would be my only child unless Jacob comes back. I would never fall for anyone like I fell for him. Maybe I could convince myself it was Jacob's and not Edward's. I won't even tell Edward he's going to have a baby. That way there would be no problems or anything. We wouldn't have to relate on any actual level.

But a part of me wanted him in this baby's life.

EPOV

I hate hangovers.

There's nothing to it. They suck.

I remembered that night, or day, perfectly. The day, or night, everyone saw Bella and I completely wasted, having sex on the kitchen island. I would never forget that. She was in my mind constantly, and sense I locked myself in my room for...I lost count after two days, she was all I could think about.

Half of me wanted to go see her, but the other didn't want to face my friends and sister. What would they have to say? Give me a lecture on morals? One on how she just got out of a bad relationship and she's hurting? Well, I already knew that and I'm sure I fixed it. That guy – whatever the loser's name was – didn't deserve her.

I did.

Being drunk you say and do dumb things (like have sex), but when I said I loved her it wasn't an accident. I do love Bella – no. Scratch that. I'm _in_ love with Bella. She meant the world, so suddenly, and I felt only her. Bella was the only thing that mattered and existed now, but I couldn't go see her yet. I had to do what I'd been doing for over two days now: wait. Wait until the guys were gone from the living room. I could hear their voices and the sound of the TV. Occasionally they offered stuff up to me, but I declined and snuck down what they are gone or asleep. I didn't leave me room. I sat and thought about how fast I fell for Bella, nearly starving myself. But she was so worth it. I would starve myself a million times before letting that girl slip from between my fingers, which was not going to happen.

You may think its easy to say you love someone, but when you mean it the way I do its not as easy. I've never loved anyone more in the entire world; I've never wanted anyone anymore then Bella Swan. The worst part was she hated me. Of course she did! After that time at the coffee shop, I knew when – actually, if I ever saw her again it would be hard, awkward, and it was just that. I noticed how hard it was for her to look me in the eyes and say something, one of the few times we had to talk to each other, but I didn't find it as hard. She was one of those girls you look at and just know how special she is and how much you _need_ her. I needed Bella. No questions.

Instantly my mind went to the one memory my sober mind could recall from the drunk one. Bella's beautifully pale skin sheeted in a thin layer of sweat – her whole perfect body covered in it, too – and long dark mahogany locks falling around the both of us. Her sweet little mouth parted and moaning, eyes fluttering and head thrown back. As I reviewed that picture, and recalled how it felt and seemed, I realized just how much that was the picture of sex. The perfect, flawless painting of the suddenly-best activity in the world. But it wasn't the way she screamed my name in her breathy tone or the way to pleasure showed on her face; it was _her_. It was Bella.

Never in a million years will Bella get away from me, I decided, rising from my bed to glance out the window.

"Bella, will be mine one way or another," I declared with a wicked grin.

BPOV

Emmett and Jasper were gone, so Rosalie and Alice picked on a shopping trip. Even in my painful state – horrible hangover, slightly wasted still, and pregnant – I was pulled along. Well, of course they didn't know about the last one and I did plan on telling them soon. I had to get the whole situation under control, and if anything the girls had to know. The guys, however, never. Edward, though, never in a million years. I'd come up with some explanation for the sudden pregnancy, whether it was that I was a slut even, but I would not admit to anyone – except Alice, who already knew – I slept with Edward previously. No one needed to know that but me.

Alice had shoved me into a dark blue bubble dress, paired with dark brown thigh-high boots and a black cardigan. I didn't like the length of the dress – it was way too short and I didn't feel sexy with my new discovery.

Oh, God. I don't even know if I'm pregnant for sure. Its nothing but a guess. I shouldn't be planning and making choices for this baby...Then I had a thought.

This baby is going to be beautiful. I mean, look at Edward. Even for someone I was using all my strength to hate and stay despising, I would admit he was pretty gorgeous and sexy. Even his body was a huge turn on and just too hot and formed, sculpted...long and lean...

Immediately I wanted to fall down and cry. Thinking about him was turning me on, and the only person I wanted to feel wet by was Jacob. I wanted Jacob so bad. No, Edward can't turn me on, he can't make me wet my underwear. Only thought of Jacob can do that, only he came make me feel like that. I chanted the words through my head, hoping to believe them better. I didn't want Edward, no; I wanted Jacob Black. The man that had been there for me for year, even if he did hurt and scar me. Still he meant to world to me and Edward...well, I don't know about him. Did I have actual feelings for him?

"No no no..." I muttered, shuffling money into my wallet. "You want Jacob, and Jacob only."

"Bella, hurry up!" Alice sounded through down the hall.

"Okay!" I replied, frustrated. No I don't want Edward. I don't think. I want Jacob. And I know that. I have to tell Rosalie and Alice about my very possible pregnancy. Of course I do. I needed some support in this world.

**

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**

It's a short chapter, I know. I just wanted to get a little somethin' out there seeing as Bella is pregnant! Now, I wanna know who expected that?! Review and let me know! I hope y'all enjoyed. Maybe if I get some more reviews I will elongate the chapters...

**-Mickey. **


	11. Reveal Part 1

**Its a long one! Yay!**

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"This would be perfect for you, Bella!" Alice held up a black dress that was really made of little material. It did look appealing for a club, but that would not fit long. Maybe I would have to break the news to her, to them.

"No, thanks," I said. Her face fell.

"Why not?" Rosalie asked, coming up behind us and inspected the dress. "It'd look so sexy on you, Bella. Girl, you could work that little fabric."

Though I did appreciate the comment I couldn't get something like that. With what was happening inside of my body, there was no way I could get something like that. It so wouldn't be appropriate. Plus, I would have to try it on and then that would take forever; I was exhausted. We'd been shopping too long for a girl with a hangover. (I was still grateful no one had brought up the scene from last night.)

"Uh..." I hesitated. "I have to talk to you guys." They exchanged confused looks, but complied. Alice set the dress down silently and her and Rosalie paid also silently. Did they have a feeling something bad was going to happen? It sure looked like it. I held my arms over my chest tightly as my heart started beating unevenly. Exhale, I can tell my friends this. They would help me get through this and help me keep this a secret form Edward – even if he is Rosalie's brother. They would help me.

Hopefully I could count on that.

I was cautious about what I was going to say to them. How would I break the news? What would I say about the father? Only Alice knew about Edward's and my coffee shop quickie, unless she told the others, and I didn't want anyone to know. Considering what it would mean to other people about what we did made my cringe and edgy. Walking through the mall and dodging all the people, I felt like everyone was staring at me and knew what I did, knew what was going on inside of me. Each set of eyes I caught made me shudder and pull my arms tighter together. Even with Alice and Rosalie talking around me, I felt alone. I felt lost in a foreign world.

Reluctantly my mind turned to thinking about how fast my life took this turn and how unprepared I was of rit. I mean, when I was a little girl I planned out my wedding and where I would live, my job and the children I wanted. It never once crossed my mind that I would start suffering under the need for a man that didn't want me, the man I thought was the one. I never even thought I would be one of those ho-ish girls that sleep with men she doesn't know. I'd seen these stories on TV, like the Maury Show, and never once thought it would happen to me. I didn't think I would try and mend a broken heart by hooking up with a stranger and then getting pregnant by said stranger. And even if I did think about that I probably wouldn't have thought I would sleep with him again after doing hot alcohol contests and body-bottles.

Entering the food court so did not help either. Naturally a few people glanced, people-watching I guess, but a few stared. I felt like they could just see and just know what happened and what is happening. It made me want to run and curl into a ball, or at least a whole opening in the floor for me to fall into.

"Are we gonna get something to eat?" Rosalie asked, pointing to an A&W. I noticed a few guys nearby – three to be exact, how ironic – look over at us. Again I wished I wasn't dressed like this because it made me feel even more exposed with guys looking at me.

I already knew my pregnancy hormones shouldn't be so developed, but I felt uncharacteristically hungry. Starved, actually. "Yeah," I said. "I am so hungry." The realization was startling, when I realized it would only get worse. Much worse from here because I was only, what, one week pregnant? Sadly pregnant.

We ordered quickly and by the time it was ready I thought I was going to burst from hunger. Sense when have I ever been this starved? We waited off to the side, leaning against the counter and waited.

"So, Bella," Rose asked. "How's the, er, hangover?" She stifled a laugh and Alice shot her a look.

"Painful," I groaned. "I still don't know why you dragged me all the way out here."

Alice said, "Well, Bella, we wanted to have some fun. I mean, you could be a little happier about this. Plus, I thought you needed some new clothes." She pouted.

"You'll understand in a minute," I muttered, and they both shut up, sharing little glances. I knew I had to tell them now. They had to know seeing as we lived in the same apartment.

Once we had our food Alice lead us, conveniently, beside the three guys that kept looking over at us. Why, Lord? This doesn't have anything to do with my little accident, does it? As we sat down one of the guys looked over and winked at me. I immediately looked down and took a sip of my coke (I'm not far along enough that I should worry about caffeine. I think.). We started eating in silence and I knew they were waiting because it was the whole reason we came to food court early. After nearly swallowing down the French-fries and sipping at my drink, I gathered the courage for it. I had to get this out.

I cleared my throat and their eyes immediately snapped up (along with three sets of uninvited eyes. Talk about privacy issues.). My stomach started to feel painfully empty, like I was about to give a presentation that I knew nothing about. And in a way, to a certain extent, I was. I drew a deep breath, aware of the double audience I had. When I snuck another glance up, the same guy winked again and smiled a cute-boy smile. I looked down again before looking at both my friends.

"I have something really big to tell you guys." I turned my voice up a few notches.

Alice cupped my hand with hers. "What is it, Bella? You can tell us anything."

Very pathetically tears started to pool in my eyes, rolling down my cheeks. I looked at Alice pleadingly and then to Rosalie, rubbing my eyes with my free hand. "Do you guys promise to help me with whatever it is?" I asked helplessly, biting my lips for a possible 'no.'

"Bella, of course," Rosalie said softly, leaning forward. "What's going on?"

Here goes nothing, I can do this. I drew in a deep breath and regretted the last two weeks of my life.

"I'm pregnant."

For a moment all was silent. Alice and Rosalie stared at my face blankly, like they didn't comprehend. I didn't bother looking at the other guys, assuming they turned away at the mention of "pregnant." As I assessed their faces, I settled on Alice's as her face slowly started to change. Her eyes danced with a smile and her cheeks slowly started to turn up and spread to a slowly forming smile.

Suddenly, she let out an excited squeal and flailed her hands around her face, stomping her feet against the the floor with the heels of her stilettos clicking on the floor. She pushed out her chair and ran around the table to embrace me until I couldn't breathe. She chanted over and over, "We're going to have a baby!" and earned us a few glares. She was drawing a lot of attention to us with her loud squeals in my ear. Rosalie still sat silently, staring.

It took moments before Alice could sit down. She tried to calm her breath enough to speak. "Your pregnant?"

"Yeah."

"I can't believe it," Rosalie mused, looking down at her half-eaten burger. "Your pregnant with Jacob's baby."

My eyes snapped to her and Alice froze, and we exchanged a quick look. This never even crossed my mind. "What?"

Rose looked up. "Your pregnant with Jacob's baby, Bella. What are the odds? I mean, Bella, you could get Jacob back." She looked like even she didn't believe it. Just like me.

All I could do was stare. Rosalie thought it was Jacob's baby. Jacob's baby...That's it! I could say its Jacob's instead of Edward's. But what else she said...I could get Jacob back. My attention suddenly became sharper. Even if this wasn't Jacob's baby I could say it is and Jacob would be mine again. _I can get Jacob back. _I smiled slightly to myself. It would be perfect.

"Yes," I said. "It is Jacob's baby. I can get him back." Suddenly I was too excited to stay in my seat. Jacob would be mine again!

"Oh my God," Alice squealed. "I'm so excited! We have to go baby shopping right now. Let's go!" She pushed out her chair and stood, waiting for us.

I frowned. "Please, Alice. Can we just go home? I so tired." And I was. This trip was taking a huge toll on me. Too much walking mixed with a hangover was the worst possible combo. "I just want to go home and relax."

Alice also frowned but said, "Okay, fine. But don't think your getting out of a baby shopping trip."

_Hopefully by then I'll be back to Jacob. _"I wouldn't dare." I shook my head.

As Rosalie gathered are garbage and started toward the garbage can – adding an extra swing for the guys watching – Alice leaned over to me.

"Its not Jacob's baby," she told me, slightly unhappy.

"Shh!" I hissed as Rosalie approached us again.

"Let's go ladies."

Shooting Alice a death-look helps a lot. She didn't say a thing, but didn't look impressed because I was lying.

Finally arriving to the apartment building was a relief. I didn't say a thing to them, only grabbed my two bags and headed for the front doors. I wanted in the confides of that apartment now. Making it up the stairs was also relief and then I realized I didn't have the key and had to wait for them. Rosalie didn't seem to notice anything, but Alice did, and she was not happy. As soon as Rosalie unlocked the door I pushed past her and headed straight for my room. Halfway up the stairs I heard Alice call, "I'll be up in a moment, Bella!" I frowned because I had private calls to make.

Once in my room I close the door and tossed the bags aside, grabbing my phone on my bedside and sat against the headboard. Unknowingly, I pulled up my dress and placed my hand over my flat stomach. My baby is in here, in my own body. Shaking my head of the disbelief I flipped open my cell (I didn't trust the landline enough) and dialled the Seattle High School's principle's cell (yes, we did exchange numbers for friendly matters).

"Hello?"

"Hi, it's Bella."

"Oh, Bella," Brian said (we went by first names). "How are you feeling? We haven't seen a lot of you around lately. How's your uncle?" Right, my phoney uncle.

I stifled a giggle. "Well, he's doing fine, but I have to make this quick. I'm so sorry for how sudden this is, but...I have to quit."

There was a shocked silence on the other end, then he said, "Why, Bella, this is such a shock. Are you sure? I mean, what going on that you have to quit? You do so well with those children."

Shaking my head I mumbled, "A lot of things have come up. I'm so sorry."

"Uh, well..." Clearly he wasn't expecting this at all. I did love to teach, but I knew Jacob would support me and this baby. "I, uh, better go. I need to find someone to take over the English department."

"Listen," I said quickly. "I am so sorry-"

The line went dead.

Did he seriously just hang up on me? I said I was sorry and he hung up because I had to quit because my life is fucked? Wow, what kind of school _did _I work for? "Well, I guess it doesn't' matter now..." I muttered, my finger lingering on the first number for the next call. But I stopped. No, I can't do this. Not yet. I just found out. It could wait, I decided as I stroked my stomach. Despite the real father of my child, I was already growing in love with this baby. It is true mother's do have a quick connection with their child.

Just then my door flew open and Alice stomped in. Angrily, she slammed the door and stood beside my bed watching me. After a moment I said, "Uh, can I help you?" That deflated her body and she spread her arms and crashed down onto my bed.

"Bella, you can't do this!" she insisted. "You can't keep Edward from his own baby."

I crossed my arms stubbornly. "You said it was Edwards?" I muttered, but Alice wasn't dumb; she knew.

"Oh, cut the crap. I know its his, not Jacob's. You can't use the poor child as a lure to get Jacob back in your life. I'm sorry, Bella, but Jacob doesn't want you anymore, okay? He left you for another woman, and I know you love him, but he doesn't love you. There is no chance a baby will entice him to come back. Chances are he'll just say 'send me the child support.'" She mimicked a deep voice. I smiled, despite what she was saying. "But its true," she concluded.

"But, Alice, I got pregnant because I was trying to mend my heart by having sex with a stranger," I reminded her firmly. "I can't own up to that to everyone."

"Bella," she said just as calmly. "We all saw you guys on the kitchen island, I don't think telling everyone that would be much a shock."

"Gee, thanks," I mumbled.

"But I'm serious!" Alice snapped. "You have to tell Edward at least."

My eyes narrowed at her tone, her words. I leaned forward. "What do you mean 'at least?'" I asked slowly in a your-gonna-die tone.

Alice stood and started pacing the room, averting my eyes. I sat back and watching, waiting for the lecture. "Well, when your drunk you do stupid things or say things that you don't mean." My words exactly. "So when Edward said he loved you we just thought 'what a drunk ass'. But we were wrong." She stopped and turned to me.

Shaking my head I asked, "What the hell are talking about, Alice?"

She threw her hands up in the air in exasperation. "Edward loves you, Bella!

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**Okay, I really think this is getting better now. I've been flaming with ideas! Please review!!!!!**

**Okay, this part -- this little sentence -- is days later because I'm only realizing now that I didn't post this! Ugh!!!! Well, I guess more for you , so...Well, now I feel dumb!**

**-Mickey**


	12. Reveal Part 2

**Well, I have to say it myself : I am getting more excited about this story! I have planned a few bits about it in the future, but so far, we're playin' it by ear.**

**Hope you enjoy and check out my story "An Intense Dark Side" and the newest one "Forever Love"!**

**Hope you enjoy em all!!!**

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Previously...

_Shaking my head I asked, "What the hell are you talking about, Alice?"_

_She threw her hands up in the air in exasperation. "Edward loves you, Bella!_

I snorted, ignoring her. "He does not, Alice, he barely knows me!"

"You see?" she asked, taking steps forward, clearly pissed. "You are wrong, Bella. You are so wrong! Your too blinded by that dumbass Jacob to see what's really in front of you! Your trying to hold onto something that is never there, someone you doesn't want you! When will you see you need to move on!?" She was shouting at me now, and I just stared at her stunned and hurt. Even when I was about to say something she continued. "Jacob is a loser! Sure, you might not know a lot about Edward, but he's been more coherent then you for the past few days, weeks. He's talked and visited and been so nice to us all! And you know what? He talks to Jasper and Emmett and he's told them he is in love with you and he won't stop until he wins you over. And that was just revealed today!" Alice let out a big breath.

After I moment of indecision I said, "Alice, what do you want from me?"

She exhaled, frustrated and sad, looking like tears might pour. "Bella," she said slowly. "I know you don't know anything about Edward, but you should give him a chance. He may be a," she hesitated. "He may be a womanizer, so said Jasper, but he's never loved any other girl like he loves you. Emmett even told me!"

I launched up from my bed. "No! Alice, I don't love him – I love Jacob."

This time she stood up too and launched into her high voice, yelling at me again.

"No, Bella! Your drowning in the life you wish you had with him. You may think you can just waltz back in his life with a baby that isn't his and pretend like everything's okay. Like he never broke your heart and cheated on you over and over again – chances are he'll do it again! Nothing can go back, don't you understand that? That baby belongs with its father, too! You cannot_ not _tell Edward this is his baby."

"Its not your choice," I snapped. "Its _my_ baby. I can do what I want."

"Then you'll be a horrible mother!"

Those words stuck in the air like glue, whipping around me and caressing me into a burn. The reality of the situation never hit of course, but now I was beginning to wonder. Could I handle a baby? Alice's words struck a painful nerve of reality. No, I can't. I can barely wake up in the morning for work! Well, _could_ wake up in the morning. I don't have that job anymore. I stared at her for what felt like an eternity before she started crying and ran from the room. She would tell Edward, and I knew it. What was I going to do? Because, as much as I hate to admit it, Alice was right. I couldn't fake this baby was Jacob's. I couldn't pretend that it wasn't Edward's (and not just because it wouldn't look like Jacob). I felt my own tears start to form as I heard a door slam downstairs. Alice was going for her comfort ride.

Now I was in a jam. There were two sides and – putting aside Alice's harsh but ture words – there were two possibilities.

Side one: Jacob Black.

We'd been dating for forever once I finally allowed myself to actually love him. We were happy, and I had huge plans for our future together. Kids, marriage, a long and happy life together. But he had what I guessed to be a massive womanizer side. He led a double like with a woman named Tonya and never told me. The only time we started to see less of each other was when he stated the life. There was never nothing I could offer to get him to stay home with me instead of going out with friends, getting drunk or getting it on with Tonya. I wasn't sure of his feelings anymore. He left me for Tonya in the first place, so he couldn't possibly love me that much. But I still didn't know his feelings. If I called and stated that I was pregnant with his baby, would he take me back and believe me? Or when the baby's born, would that give it away? What would he do then? If I even went back to him would he want me enough to stop his old ways? I didn't believe it, now that I thought.

Side two: Edward Cullen.

To mend the sour taste Jacob left behind we hooked up before I realized he was Rosalie's brother. Then we had another encounter, sexually, and an alcohol consumption together (now doesn't that just cream "possibility?"). But we never spoke really aside from that. We never ran into each other. I'd seen him around a bit, but not enough to say I _knew _him. Alice said he loved me. But did I love him? Did I even like him? He seemed determined and with a glance he looked like a sweet kind of guy. But I started to resent him after that hook up and we met again unexpectedly. If I gave him the chance, he would probably take it if he actually...loved me. Would he want a baby, though? It would be a shock I knew that much. Edward didn't really do anything bad to me, but I started to worry if he was a womanizer. Maybe there was a possibility...

Oh God, look at me! I'm thinking of Edward positively! Because...he actually didn't do anything bad, I realized. And then something else hurtled itself at me.

I may not love him 00 I was sure of that – but I did have feelings for him. I could feel it, and it scared me. So suddenly I was having feelings for someone I hated just seconds ago. Ugh, love stinks – _love!? _What am I talking about? I started pacing the room with tears in my eyes. Love? Did I love him? Could I love him and not know it because I'm too focused on being blinding by what my life could be in another world? In my dreams, where Jacob didn't use me? I froze as my thought cleared.

"No..." I tried to convince myself. "No, no, no, no, no..." _Yes! _my mind screamed. I fell to my knees.

I love Edward.

Yes, I barely knew him and my mind was saying that I hated him, but now that I was finally seeing clearly, that was wrong. Looking past Jacob and what had been going wrong with his womanizer ways, I did love Edward – I had instant feelings for him. It was possible it could have been love at first sight, but I was too blinded by another world, a world where Jacob and I could be one. What would happen now? I was lost in a better but harder world.

Crawling up from my knees I sat down on the side of my bed, linking my hands together and watching the floor. What now? What was there to do now? I just quit my job, so money would be tight, I'm still hurting because of Jacob, and in love with another man. Oh – and pregnant. For a second I almost decided to go see Edward, but I quickly shut that idea off. What could I do about Edward? If we loved each other...and had a baby together...I shuddered. It all meant one thing. And maybe I would have let all that in to think about had my phone not rang. As I opened it I wanted to cry and deny that I couldn't have Jacob.

He'd texted me a picture. And that alone made me want to jump up and hide. Wiping the tears from my eyes I opened the text and the phone dropped from my hand while tears dropped from my eyes. "You have to be over him," I mumbled repeatedly, running to through my mind. "He's not worth the tears, he's not worth it."

Jacob texted me a graphic picture of him in bed with another girl, not Tonya even. "Alice was right," I breathed. Jacob is a womanizer after all. It was obvious they were having sex or about to or just done or whatever. But I just didn't like it. How could I have not seen what he really was? Why had I been so blind!?

After much more debating I lurched to my feet and quickly changed into a pair of black boyshorts and a tightly fitting white tank top – because something told me I would need the appeal – and a push-up bra (like I said, appeal). With a deep breath, allowing my anger to flare up from pain and hurt, I stomped out of my room, slamming the door behind me and down the stairs. Rosalie was sitting on the couch alone and half-fixated on the TV. She looked up as I grabbed my glasses (I can see pretty well without them, but they can successfully distract me sometimes) and started toward the door.

"Bella, what's going on?" she asked, stopping me in my tracks. "Why did Alice come down the stairs crying? And where are you going dressed like that?" Her eyes looked pointedly at the tank top that showed a slightly inconsiderable length of midriff. I shrugged indifferently.

"Fresh air," I quickly said, and was out of the door before she could say something else. I don't know what my plans were or how I was going to do this, but it all had to be done. But still, by any means, I didn't want everyone knowing that this baby was Edward's until the time was right. I mean, I already decided to tell Edward its his, we should all be happy for that. However, I still had to wait for Alice to return and thank her. If it weren't for her, I would still be in the dark about how I felt about Edward and how Jacob is. I wouldn't be walking down the hall to their apartment. I had a lot to thank her for and a lot to make up for. I would gladly to that all.

Crossing my arms over my chest I walked up to the door and hesitated. Slowly and shakily I knocked on the door. To be fair I'd never really seen or spoke with Edward sober, because we really only met three times. How I could love him that fast, I don't know, but it happened. Here goes nothing.

"Hey, Bells," Jasper said as he opened the door. "Are you sober yet?"

I rolled my eyes. "Gee, thanks. And no, not completely." I pushed past him and into the messy apartment, hearing him mumble, "Oh yeah, please come right on in." I smiled for a second, but faded when I saw Emmett. How much should we be betting that he will make some kind of "smart" comment? Comment_s_?

"Come to finish the fuck?" he called while sipping this beer and peering at me from the corner of his eye. I walked up to him and slapped him in the back of the head, nearly choking him with the sweet liquid I was suddenly craving. "What the hell was that for?" He coughed with the liquid down his throat. Sex jokes. Ugh.

Pointing to Emmett with one hand and Jasper with the other, I jerked my finger to the door. "You and you – out!" I commanded.

"Oh, so you are here to finish the fuck?" Jasper asked, sitting beside Emmett.

"No," I snapped loudly. "Get your asses out of here because I need to take to him. Rosalie's in our apartment. She has a secret for you guys." Well, they would figure it our eventually, so might as well help them out. "Its about me, so I'm sure you guys will love it." Emmett nodded in agreement. Jasper just stared.

"Uh," Jasper said. "Do we want to know?"

"Yes," I said impatiently. "Now get your asses out now or you will be so sorry."

"Fine. Eddie's in the shower." Emmett stood. "But its not because I'm scared of you." Jasper followed him to the door while picking up a box of beer. I looked at them with raised eyebrows. Before they were out the door Emmett said, "Well, we don't want you guys drunk again and you guys drank all of the alcohol over there, so." He shrugged, ducking under the doorframe.

Jasper added, "There's condoms in Emmett's top drawer!" There was a round of laughter that I didn't find funny before the door closed and it faded. Thank God.

With a deep breath I headed upstairs to do the hardest thing in my life, though I really didn't know what I was truly doing.

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**Okay, it was kinda short and lousy, but the next will be longer and more exciting! I promise. I already started it and its alreayd longer then this one. There is a lemon too....or maybe two....**

**Review!!!**

**-Mickey!**


	13. Confrontation

**This story can only get better from here! LOL.**

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I sat in Edward's darkened room, watching the stream of light from under the bathroom door. I could hear the shower running, the sprays of water bouncing off surfaces and hitting the floor of the shower. The wait was getting annoying because I just wanted to get this over with and figure out what I was going to do about the baby in my stomach. I mean, I would have to be a single mother! That is if Edward didn't really want to try for a relationship...

As I stroked my stomach I couldn't help but feel kind of excited for a baby. My heart started pounding and I had that feeling that I wanted to scream with joy. Sure, I had no idea what the hell I was going to do with this child in terms of everything (!), but I could still feel excitement inside of me as I whelmed over my unborn baby.

I was still smiling and slightly bouncing when the shower stopped and flashes interrupted the light under the bathroom door. The sounds of slapping against tiles echoed through the rooms and I heard a bit of water running before shutting off and the door opened.

Though it took Edward a few seconds to realize I was sitting there I noticed him instantly. His lovely tanned skin was in great contrast to the white towel handing on his hips in a very low place. The locks of golden auburn hair was in disarray and stuck to his forehead. God, this guy is lovely! The only light was coming from the bathroom so I couldn't see his face, and I wondered what he was thinking when he saw me laying on his bed.

"Bella?" he asked in definite confusion.

"Hey, Edward," I mumbled quietly, sudden worried. "We need to talk."

This seemed to instantly hit a button because he was in motion in seconds, flicking on the light and sitting on the edge of the bed, like he was ready for some intense conversation. And I guess in a way it was. "Bella, I know. There's something I have to tell you," he said quickly, as if I was going to stop him from speaking.

"I know," I agreed in a firm tone. "Alice told me you love me." I said it matter-of-factly, like it wasn't a big deal.

"Okay, Bella, I know it might sound weird, but-"

I held up my hand. "Let me finish." He fell silent. "Okay. You should know...I guess you have to..." I was struggling to get the words out, so I exhaled and tried again. "Edward, I'm pregnant." I waited to see some change in his face, but it was nothing but a blank plate. For a moment I waited for him to say something, so when he didn't I continued. "I'm pregnant from that one time at the coffee shop."

Edward's eyes widened. "Its mine?"

The noise was somewhere between a groan and exhale and sigh. "Why else would I tell you? I'm pregnant from you." My face fell into my hands. "Edward, there's something else."

"But, Bella, there are other things too that-" Edward tried to input, but I silenced him again.

"We're doing this my way," I said fiercely, then commanded, "Lie down." Edward only hesitated for a second before he slowly laid down with his head on the pillows beside me, still holding the towel together. I sighed. "Lose the towel," I told him matter-of-factly, almost even bossy. The hesitation was longer and he didn't release the grip, only looked at me blankly with no change. "I didn't think we'd need help, but okay." I shrugged as I spread open the soft white fabric from his body so he was all bared to me.

"What are you doing?" he murmured.

Instead of answering I shook my head. "I'm going to tell you something because we know nothing about each other." I straddled his upper thighs, looking down at his lap in a non-inspecting way. "I think I have feelings for you – now, I don't know what they are, but they're pretty strong," I admitted slowly. I felt him take in air like he was going to say something so I grabbed his slightly erect shaft in my hand, immediately cutting off any words. He hissed slightly as I started to massage him. "I don't know what I'm going to do with a baby," I told him truthfully. "And I know I'll need help. That's where you come in. Edward, even to me its hard to believe I want to try for some kind of close relationship. I do want to try for an actual one, but like I said, we know nothing about each other."

Through the foreplay Edward whispered, "That can change." His voice was straining to be less moan-ish.

"I know." I looked up and into his eyes. "And I want it to. I really do. I don't know how though. Truthfully, we got off on the wrong foot and there's no denying that." I increased the pressure I put on him, stroking harder and harder. "I loved Jacob," I started. "He was my life, my everything. I hadn't seen it until my dad and him pointed it out, so I actually fell fast for him. Everything was going fine and I really believed we were going to go all the way – get married and have kids together. Have that perfect life. But then it all went downhill. He stared leaving early and coming home late and smelling funny, and he never seemed to care about me. We still had sex and all, but he always left after, really quickly. Then one day I got a call from his lover." Even with the intense job I was doing I saw Edward's face turn sympathetic. "She told me how often she saw him and what he said to her. It was all that same things he said to me and did to me. I was too weak to say something or do anything," I whispered, my voice carrying away with the words. As he opened his mouth to say something so I cupped my hands around him and rubbed harder up and down. "One day he just came home and didn't want me anymore. I was broken. Destroyed. He took apart of me with him." For a moment I collected myself.

"At the coffee shop," I continued, voice hoarse, "I wanted to fill in the space in my heart. I wanted to help myself get over Jacob by doing a stranger. I just thought it would melt my heart back together, like in the movies, but it didn't, and I was just left with a whole new hole in me." I clenched my jaw. "You created a new hole I couldn't fix, which is now starting to outweigh the hole Jacob made." I exhaled once it was all out, breathing deeply. I hadn't told that to anyone and it felt amazing to have it all out. A silence followed us as I moved my body more with the rubbing, and Edward's breathing nearly echoed around the room. I told him to let me finish before he said anything, and I lowered my mouth. with one trace of my tongue around his tip I swallowed his cock, bobbing my head as I grazed my teeth up and down.

Adding in my hands and sucking harder, Edward's hips bucked up and cusses fell from his mouth as a hand laced in my hair to control my movements a little more. When his tip hit the very depth of my throat, Edward called out my name in big pants as he unloaded in my mouth. I licked and sucked it all down simply, as Edward regained his breath and composure.

I lifted my head up, breathing heavily myself, but not as much as him. Edward just stared at me, stunned. I shrugged. "I had to get your attention somehow."

"I'm not complaining," he told me, closing his eyes as he breathed slowly. As I waited he suddenly spoke. "Bella, I want to try for a relationship, too. I know it sounds weird and confusing and wrong...but I really think I do love you. Well, actually, I'm almost sure of it." He opened his eyes. "You need to give me a chance."

Levelling my eyes with his, I grabbed his cock and squeezed it enough that he hissed, trying to contain an actual moan. "I swear," I said flatly and emotionless, "if you cheat on me I will rip this off." I squeezed again.

"I would never...dream of it," he managed through his teeth.

"Okay." I released him and moved from his legs, but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me down on top of him. As I was about to say something about taking it slow he pulled my face down and kissed me. I felt so much in it, but it was hard to pinpoint exactly what. His hands caressed me and I could feel his second erection rubbing against me, but I didn't want to complain. I liked – maybe even loved – the feel of it, knowing I could turn someone on like this. Especially Edward Cullen. It felt good.

For a minute I lost control of my body and as our kiss got really hot and our hands explored intimately, my body took control over my loss of control. My body rocked against that erection and only seconds after it started I really needed a release. Edward's hands found their purchase on the backs of my thighs to help me move faster against him, and we broke the kiss at the same time to throw our heads back. As I moved my breath was in pants as I moved as hard and fast as my legs would let me and Edward's hips bucked up to meat mine. It felt so good, so damn good!

"Oh, Bella!" he moaned out, putting his hands on my ass to control it more. "Harder, baby..." I did as requested and Edward continued more intense dirty talk that I'd never heard before and loved.

We both fell over the edge together, moaning and panting and nearly shouting. Automatically I was glad I kicked out Emmett and Jasper. I sat back and straddled him as I continued to pant heavily. I looked down to try a regular breathing technique when I saw what now marked a huge part of my black shorts. That's why you never wear black bottoms!

"Uh, thanks." I pointed to the white splotches all over my shorts.

Edward laughed and smiled, like it was really funny. Well, it kinda was, so I started laughing, too. "I'm so sorry."

I shrugged, because it really didn't matter much.

"Bella," Edward said seriously, pushing the hair that was matted to my forehead. "I know we don't know anything about each other, but I want to get to know you. How about diner tomorrow night?" His face was so sincere and kind, gentle and soft. I actually wanted my feelings to grow for this man badly.

With a small smile I nodded. "We really need to talk." I struggled. "Like with the baby. And us."

"Yes," he agreed. "Our baby." He added an emphasis on _our_ that I couldn't help but smile at.

"So your really not going to tell me?" Alice asked hopefully.

I sighed. "Yes. It's a secret. If things work out, you'll know." I clasped the diamond necklace around my neck and straightened out the dress. "Alice, I still think this a little extravagant for a first date." And it really was. The material was similar to silk and a black and white no-image print, with a thick black band around the bottom. It was actually way too much for a first date, even if it was with someone I'd already slept with multiple times and gave a blow job to. It was still slightly out there. But I guess the neckline wasn't so bad and the halter criss-crossed on the back. It was pretty but too much.

"But I wanna know now!" she whined, stomping her foot. "Here," she said bleakly with a pout, handing me a pair of peep-toe super high-heeled, black shoes. "But I really want to know who's gonna be the father of my niece or nephew!"

"Alice," I said with a smile. "Your not related."

"That's what you think!" she snapped, stomping her foot. "We could be long lost sisters!"

With a sigh I finished curling my hair and applying a minimal amount of makeup, then fixed up my outfit. I didn't know if I was excited for this date, but some things had to be discussed. I mean, Edward and I were having a baby and the least we could do was try for a relationship together. For the sake of this child's future and life.

Once I was finished getting ready Alice followed me into my room as I readjusted the hem of the dress. When she asked, "So what happened with Edward?" I hesitated for a second, pretending to fix up the last little things, then I responded with, "Nothing much. I told him about the baby. He wants to make an effort for the baby's sake." Okay. maybe they were my words, but why did that matter? It all worked the same ways sometimes. "So, you guys told Emmett and Japer, right?" I asked. When I'd come home last night, they were asleep with their beloved women and I hadn't seen them around today.

"Yeah." Alice nodded, trying to keep up with her anger. "Emmett is worried about you though. You know, because of the whole Jacob's baby bullshit. Yeah. But one day your gonna have to tell them that Edward is the father." Suddenly her face shadowed. "I wonder what he'll think when he finds out that your dating someone else."

"Alice, please," I snapped. "Its none of your business. Please stop."

Those words did have her quiet. She didn't even follow me out of my room and to the living room, where I finally got to see Emmett and Jasper as they watched a football game. "Hey, guys. So, I heard you heard about my little friend." I set my hand on my stomach, and a zap ran through me at the realization that was only hitting me now. My baby.

"We heard," Jasper said, smiling at me, but I could see he didn't look too pleased. What about, I didn't know.

"So your going out with someone tonight, are you?" Emmett asked in an accusing sort of way. As he spoke Alice emerged from the stairs, clearly upset, and Rosalie came from the kitchen, holding and offering bowls of popcorn. "Why would you do that, Bella?" I just stared at his abruptly angry face. "How could you do that to Edward? He is, like, in love with you and now you want to date someone else? You should at least be with the father of the baby, not some random guy you just met. Its wrong."

Emmett's words pissed me off. "For your information," I snapped angrily. "I _am_ going on a date with this baby's father, asshole!"

I ran from the room, crying and sobbing.

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**Okay, y'all are gonna have-ta start reviewing with baby names, boy and girl. I haven't decided yet...but I need names!!!!!!**

**Review!!**

**-Mickey**


	14. First Date

**Talk about _bamm_! Lol. Who's been watching Vampire Diaries? I totally heart it!**

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I stumbled down the stairs, wiping at my eyes and probably smearing my makeup. So much for looking my best, I thought glumly, rubbing under my eyes again.

I pushed open the door, not even masking my sobs as I walked down the walkway to where Edward said he would meet me. Still sobbing I stood on the curb to wait, struggling to clean up the makeup smears and dry the tears. While doing so I didn't notice it when Edward's silver Volvo pulled up to the curb.

"Bella?" I heard a door slam and then his voice was in my ear. "What's wrong?" His arms wrapped around my waist, and for once I wasn't worried about hugging him. I liked it.

Resting my head on his chest I relived the last few minutes, telling him the best detail I could. It only brought more tears to my eyes. How could they say those things? I mean, I could understand them being worried about me dating someone other than the father of my baby, but they were taking it pretty far by factoring Edward into this suddenly. Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie all thought I was having Jacob's baby, breaking Edward's heart and dating someone else; Alice thought I was having Edward's baby and dating someone else. I was having Edward's baby and dating Edward. There was nothing much to it. I explained it all to him.

"Don't cry," he whispered, kissing the top of my head. I was surprisingly getting used to having Edward touch me more intimately meaningfully.

"Its hard," I sobbed, pulling away from him and rubbing my eyes. "I mean, seriously, I just want to curl up and cry."

Edward laughed, bowing his head to kiss my forehead. My heart raced in an odd way at the contact and I closed my eyes, my lips parting. "How about we eat and then you can come back to my place and curl up and cry?" he offered.

"I wish," I sighed. "But no one knows we're dating."

"Right," Edward groaned. "That's really going to get to me soon."

With a few more soothing words Edward, like a gentleman, held the door for me as I got in and we headed for the mystery restaurant. All the while my mind was elsewhere, wondering what I was going to do about everything. I half-expected Alice to tell everyone that Edward was this father and she probably did make the connection that I was going on a date with Edward already. But to everyone else, if they all still thought Jacob was the father, I was going on a date with Jacob.

No! I thought. I couldn't think about Jacob while going on a date with Edward. I couldn't let that happen. Don't think about him, don't think about him, I chanted. But it was hard. I mean, Jacob and I had had something special. But the flame had gone out, leaving a horrible smoke around me that was Jacob. I could make the effort to forget him, because I knew I was already long forgotten by him. With a deep breath I pushed all the thoughts away. Tonight I had to focus on my future.

We went to a restaurant I'd never been to, Edward was obviously full of surprises, and we were seated in the far back and at a booth, upon my request. We had to be as isolated as possible, and un-distracted, during the conversation. I slipped in the booth and Edward opposite to me. I looked down, slightly embarrassed.

"You look very, very beautiful tonight, Bella," Edward said softly, trying to call to my attention.

"Thanks." I smiled. "Its an Alice thing." Edward laughed, nodding. "Yes, I should have figured." When he sobered he looked at me curiously. "Bella, are you okay? You seem distant."

I opted for the truth. "I don't know what I'm going to do, Edward. I don't know how this is going to work, I don't know how I am going to do this." I set a hand on my stomach. "I don't know any of this."

Edward smiled and laughed once. "Calm down, Bella. You can't expect to already know and understand a child. But remember this," he grabbed my hand, "we are raising this baby. We are, because it is ours. Not just yours, not just mine. Ours. And we'll work through this. Together, we will make this work, I promise."

For a minute I stared at him, shocked. I didn't know how he could be so sure of his words, but I was more then happy he was going to help me. "Well, then you'll be glad to know I've quit my job so I hope you make a lot of money." We both laughed, holding both hands now and smiling. This date would be perfect, I thought.

Because of the pregnancy I had to order a stupid Sprite while I watched angrily as Edward sipped a frosted glass of beer. I was so totally jealous.

"Bella," Edward started slowly. "I was thinking about something, and I didn't know if I should bring it up because this is only the first day..."

For some reason I was excited for what he would have to say. I stirred the white, bubbly liquid with my straw and glanced up. "Let's hear it." The smile was easy to hear in my voice.

"I was thinking we should get our own apartment."

All I could do was stare at him blankly and so very shocked. Move in together? Yes, this was so not the usual relationship. Noticing my shock he explained. "I know you want to take this slow, but, Bella," he lowered his voice, inclining. "We're already had sex and we have a baby on the way. Bella, not much can be taken slow."

I shrugged, kind of nodding. "Yeah, I guess your right. But no one knows your fathering this baby, or that we're even dating. How can we just suddenly move in together." I paused. "And what if we take this too fast?"

"But what if we take it too slow and our baby grows up with parents living in separate houses?"

"But what if we take it too fast and our baby grows up with angry parents, who get divorced after a few years and then this child becomes depressed and suicidal and has to be taken from one house to another, where both mommy and daddy have boyfriends and girlfriends." I exhaled from the rush and smiled at him.

"You think too much," Edward said after a moment. "I'll remember that for future reference."

"So, do you really think we should move in together?" I checked.

"Maybe once we have a second date," Edward said. "Then it might be less of an awkward question."

Laughing I said, "Yeah, I guess your right. But you do have a little point. I mean, with the whole sex and baby thing." I looked down. "But if we moved in together we would have to tell everyone about the coffee shop..." I bit my lip. "They'll think I'm a slut," I added quietly.

Edward grabbed both my hands, running his thumb over them. "Your not a slut," he said softly. "You were just...hurting. From Jacob." He said Jacob's name like a cuss.

Leaving it at that our food arrived, and I couldn't take my eyes away from him at all. Edward was gorgeous, and there was no denying it or questioning it. He was a beautiful and sexy and hot man, with a sweet heart as far as I was concerned. I don't know how far I could see into the future with him but I was ready to make this all work. My baby needed a daddy, and Edward was it. Not Jacob Black. Never. The food was perfect and we kept talking about ourselves, learning.

Apparently, James, Rosalie's deceased brother, was Edward's twin. Great, did I have to worry about having twins? I shuddered at the thought. Edward worked at the local hospital, long hours, which I wasn't too fond of already. I told him about my mom and dad that lived in a small town, Forks, and how I went to college and university in New York for teaching. We briefly spoke of why I quit my job, but he didn't seem worried about it. Edward only said he would help me. Reluctantly I told him about the Jacob issues and what went wrong. How he cheated on me with this girl and how I used to speak with her about his whereabouts.

As we were talking about those issues and all those problems, I briefly recalled something Alice had told me. I hesitated in broaching it, in case it was tender.

"Edward," I said slowly, embarrassed, playing with my napkin. "I know you said you wouldn't cheat on me, and I don't doubt that," I added quickly. "But, Alice said you were a womanizer. Or used to be. Something like that." I tossed the napkin of my empty plate to look up at him. To my surprise he seemed embarrassed. "I'm sorry if it's a bad subject or something, I was just wondering-"

"No, Bella, its okay," Edward said calmly, regained himself. He cleared his throat, glancing around the room and settling on me. "I promise to you that it is the past, but it was a big part of my past." He looked down with a small smile, before looking up and opening his mouth like he was going to say something, but he just exhaled. "My life used to live on the foundation of casual sex, to be honest. Looking back now, its pretty embarrassing. But its over with, I swear."

I nodded. "I believe you, its just that-"

"Edward!" a high-pitched, familiar voice squealed.

We both turned around to see her.

"Tonya?" Edward and I said at the same time, both of shock. I turned to Edward, how did he know her?

"Bella?" Tonya said, astonished as she stood by our booth.

And there went the perfect date.

"What are you doing here?" I mumbled, looking down. My chest ached to see her. The woman my man had cheated on me with. Edward's hand found mine, but I couldn't find the comfort in it. I was too upset.

"Um," Tonya, said, shifting her weight, clearly uncomfortable. "Jacob and I were going-"

"Jacob?" Edward interrupted, curious. As I glanced up I saw he was staring at me, like he knew what I was feeling. "Jacob's here? As in Jacob Black?"

She nodded. "I'm here ten minutes early," she said, so uncomfortable her voice shook. To break the silence I asked flatly, "How do you know each other?"

They both looked down. But Tonya lifted her face first, and it was an instant change. She looked taunting and I flinched. "Edward and I had some amazing"- she practically purred the words-"sex-"

"Tonya," Edward intercepted, but my heart still melted. "I think you should go."

"Oh, are you guys on a date?" she asked, fake innocent.

"Yes," I said icily. "And your fucking it up like you did to the last relationship." Damn, I really didn't want to bring up or think about Jacob!

Tonya sighed and rolled her eyes. "Whatever." She turned to Edward. "But if you ever want to go at another wild night you know my number."

I watched her walk off, stunned. I propped my head up in my hand. I hated my life with an intense passion. Great. Tonya has slept with both men I try to have a relationship with, plus she sleeps behind Jacob's back. Oh, wait – he probably does that, too. As I was pondering over this, melting over it all, I hadn't noticed when Edward stood from the booth and offered his hand. "Bella, we better go now," he whispered sullen, surprising anger.

"Okay," I squeaked, sliding out and grabbing his hand as he slapped bills down on the table and pulled me for the door. My eyes cast down the whole time, feeling unusually heavy.

I let go of his hand once we were outside and braced myself against the brick wall, chanting _why me?_ over and over. Edward's arm wrapped around my waist pulling me closer to him, and I rested my head on his chest.

"Bella, why don't you stay with me tonight in a hotel?" he suggested softly, sadly, breath blowing over my hair.

I didn't even have to think. "Okay," I agreed.

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**-mickey**


	15. The Night

**This is interesting...lol. And that coming from the very writer of it! Anyway, enjoy!**

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Really, I didn't even care about Edward's motives with the hotel room, but all I was thinking was not being alone. Even if I was back at that apartment I would be alone. I'd fought and yelled at each of those people, and I knew I could not be coming home yet. Maybe a hotel was the wrong way to go, but I didn't care.

I promised to myself that nothing would happen tonight.

Everything felt odd and awkward as we entered the room and I went straight to sit on the bed. Go figure, it was a huge king sized mattress. "Well," I said, running my hand over the fluffy white duvet. "Looks like someone is sure of themselves."

Edward smiled, but it didn't touch his eyes. "Its possible," he admitted. "Well, I was. Now...not so much." He cast his eyes down as he leaned against the wall.

"Tonya," I said with a stiff nod. "Yeah, she does know how to ruin things," I added bitterly.

"Bella, I'm sorry she said that. I mean, we did have casual sex for awhile, but she shouldn't of said that stuff," Edward explained in a rush. "I'm sorry."

All I did was shrug.

He came and sat beside me. "Please, say something," he pleaded, voice melting with apology. "I mean, at this point you can even yell. Just...say something."

"I thought I was over him," I whispered softly, trying not to choke on sobs. "I thought I was until I saw her, and then she was throwing herself all over you... and if just makes me feel like I'm going to lose again. The whore took Jacob." I shook my head. Now, why am I talking about an ex, in a hotel room with a very hot guy?

"Casual. Sex. Bella," Edward sighed. "You really have nothing to worry about. Everything we did didn't mean anything. Please?"

"Its okay," I finally breathed, shifting on the bed. "But I'm tired." I pulled off my dress and tossed it to the floor along with the heels. "See something you like?" I teased as I sat in front of him in my bra bra and panties.

"Of course I do," he admitted, eyes glued to me.

I smiled. "Unfortunately I'm not in the mood," I told him, sliding under the warm sheets. Edward flicked off the lights, took off his shirt to show his lovely stomach and slid in beside me. Edward flicked on the TV and when he switched it to a crime show, memories flooded back from the marathon of crimes I'd had. I nestled my head into his chest and he wrapped his arms around me. I instantly felt more comfortable. Suddenly I was liking having Edward so close, so intimately.

"Goodnight," I murmured, closing my eyes.

"Goodnight, Bella," Edward whispered, and his hand set on my stomach. I pressed my body closer to his as I nodded off at only eight-thirty.

The clock read one-thirty in the morning. I didn't get much sleep but I did go to bed early, so. But I had a weird feeling. I knew it was from the dream I'd just had.

"Edward, wake up!" I hissed, jousting his shoulder. He moaned and turned his head. No, this was one dream that had to come true. This dream had to be reality! "Edward!" It was sprouting, the burn, the need, the want. He had to wake up! "Edward, please wake up!" I hit his chest harder, but it didn't affect him. I scowled.

My body rolled over on top of his and I leaned down to kiss his neck. In my dream, it'd been Edward and I having wild and crazy sex. That dream had to come true. I kissed over his collarbone and up, planting big kisses on the skin. "Bella?" I heard my name from above so I kissed my way up, until I was hovering over him.

"I'm in the mood," I stated seriously. Edward just stared. "To have sex!" I added loudly.

"Why now?" he asked sleepily. "Why at one in the morning?"

"Because I had the best dream in the entire world and I am so horny now! Get it up, Edward!" I bounced on his lower stomach, feeling the biggest burn between my legs, and willing his dick to become erect. "Please, wake up!"

He moaned, and that seemed to hit me low. "Bella, why?" he pleaded, trying to turn over, but I stopped him and kissed his neck again.

In between kisses I said, "I...am...so...horny...and...I need...you so bad." I sucked on his neck harder and harder, reaching back to undo my bra.

Suddenly he was helping me out of my bra and panties, as I pulling down his pants and boxers. I felt him yawn. "I'm half asleep, all let you know..." Again he yawned.

"Then I'll just wake you up," I purred, still kissing his neck and moving my body with it. At least he made an effort, I thought, as he touched my body and ran his hands up and down my sides. As I worked over Edward's tired body, not even caring how limp he was, I began to feel the erection brushing against my clit. I instantly moaned into his skin, feeling the need surge through my body so quick I barely thought as I settling over top of his cock. It _did_ feel good.

I rocked my hips back and forth over him, feeling him all around and moaning out so loud I could hardly contain my motions. It hadn't been that long sense I'd last had sex, so why was it suddenly feeling so good? But I wasn't ready to analyse that kind of shit, only throwing myself over him harder and faster. I could heat Edward's grunts and moans, feel them under me, as he groped back over my legs and ass. Bending down I sucked on his neck, pulling at the skin and hearing those moans become louder and more pronounced. His hands placed themselves accordingly to help me get more force, and I didn't mind in the least.

Really I don't think Edward actually ever woke up completely, but he did make those sexy sounds as he came all over me. I was definitely louder than him. Okay, I was extremely horny. I could still feel the motions, the touching, the feel of him all over me after minutes of recovery. I'd had the best sex of my life! Literally I'd seen stars. Black circles lined with sparkling silver edges dazzling in front of my eyes. It was the hottest thing in the word to ever happen.

Of course Edward fell asleep seconds later, but I couldn't. My mind was too set on the future.

We were supposed to take this slow, but instead we just had sex in a hotel room. God, I felt like a teenager all over again.

Being up for hours after our sex act meant I couldn't wake up in the morning.

"Bella! This is the last time! Get up!"

"E-mu-uhh..." I groaned, rolling over. "Go away," I snapped, nuzzling my face to the puffy white pillows. I hated it when people woke me up too early.

"But its ten in the morning," Edward complained, ripping the blankets from my naked body. "Uh, why are you naked?" he asked after a moment.

This made me sit up, shocked, crossing my arms and ankles. "What are you talking about?" I asked, voice clipped, staring at him angrily. Edward just stare at me for a few heartbeats, and my mouth dropped. "You didn't seriously forget we had sex, did you?" I asked flatly.

"We had sex?" Edward said after a moment, utterly confused and amazed.

Immediately I groaned, shaking my head. "If you woke up naked this morning, then yes, we did have sex. I woke you up early this morning," I added. He was shaking his head. I just laughed harshly. "It was the best," I taunted, pulling the blankets back over my bare body. "Best sex I've ever had."

Edward grunted, throwing his head back. "Shit, and I had to forget it!" He huffed as he crashed down on the bed, at my feet.

I laughed, curling back under the blankets and snuggling in the pillow as I watched Edward's annoyed face, while he stared at the ceiling. He did not look happy.

"Edward," I giggled, gently kicking him. "Smile. I'm happy that I just had the best sexual experience of my life. Be happy that I am so pleased its not even funny."

"But I don't remember!" he whined like a little kid. "I don't remember you riding me at one in the morning! And that pisses me off." He grumbled as he pushed himself up from the bed and slid under the duvet beside me. I told him to get over it, which he replied with, "I never will!", sounding like a child again.

After a moment of cuddling I said, "What are we going to do about our friends? I mean, we fought last night, I ran out for a date that everyone thinks was with Jacob and I never came home. What are they going to think? Something dirty and bad and probably that I'm going back to him." I huffed at the very thought of it.

"Maybe we should tell everyone," Edward suggested, smiling crookedly. "Then we can move in together without any problems."

"Yeah, then what? We can have all the great sex you want that you will hopefully remember? What, are you just like every other guy?" I pretended to pout. That would suck ass if he was just like every other guy that only wanted sex from someone. God, would it ever suck. I added quietly, "I don't want us to just be sex."

The smile on Edward's face was enough to make me jump his bones. Again. _What!?_ I thought, alarmed. Sense when did I think about that? Sense when did I say, or think, things like that? Especially once I just said I didn't want us to just be about having endless, amazing, hot, rough sex....Stop thinking about it!

Edward moved over, closer to me, wrapping his arms around me in comfort. I was hesitant to return the hug, due to my lacking of clothing.

"Bella, we're not just going to be about sex," he told me softly. "Your special. I don't want to ruin that by basing our relationship on sex. Trust me – I know it doesn't work." His face, that perfect face, was earnest and convincing. I sighed.

"I want to know...to know about how you used to be," I stuttered.

"I used to be?"

"More about your womanizer ways," I clarified, looking at the stain pillows. I could feel the struggle it took him to get his thoughts and words together.

"Bella, this is hard," Edward admitted slowly, building. "I have never had a real relationship. They've all failed because they were all about sex. It was how every relationship started, progressed, ended – sex. More and more of it. That's all I did, Bella, was have sex with any woman I could get my hands on. Now, I know that sounds very...whore-ish or something, but its true. That's why I hit on you at the coffee shop and nearly jumped when you flirted back, because I was looking for some afternoon fun. Every woman, I could do and then forget. But I couldn't forget you, Bella. You stuck in my mind, like...like..." He was at a loss for words.

He continued on. "Those ways have been sense I was seventeen. I was the player in college. That boy." Edward chuckled to himself. "It was bitter. I didn't care what the women thought of me when I had a quickie with them and never called them back; I didn't care what half their boyfriends and husbands thought either. I was already on my next woman to even care what the last might have felt or wanted. That's why, Bella," he said, looking me hot in the eyes pleadingly, "I don't think we should have sex anymore. Not until we know each other better. Last night did give some insight, but I want to _experience_ Bella Swan. Not hear about it.

I giggled. "Oh, sorry. Its just that...I hear in pregnancy you can get very...frisky." I blushed slightly at my words, but they were true. I'd heard it a lot.

Edward laughed too, agreeing. "I don't mean totally. But I want to get to know you first," he explained gently.

Nodding I said, "I agree. I kind of feel like I'm having sex with a stranger, to be honest."

Edward and I had probably the most civil conversation between the two of us ever. It probably should have been videotaped. We were talking so naturally, so simply. And it wasn't even awkward. At one point we both agreed – holy shit, we're agreeing on things! – that we didn't want to act like teenagers sneaking around form their parents. We both didn't want to relive those years. That was how we agreed to revealing ourselves to Emmett, Jasper, Alice and Rosalie tonight.

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**The next chapter will be the reveal. I would have loved to have them sneaking around like teenagers, but I want to speed it up a bit. Hope you liked, review!**

**-Mickey**


	16. To Be Told

**Even I can admit this is a fluffy small chapter! lol, enjoy. **

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EPOV

I could feel the awkwardness in the room, a pressing atmosphere.

After three hours of watching weird, Bella-approved television I told her we had to tell them. It had to be done, and the sooner the better. With that little reveal of Bella's – that apparently we had sex – was killing me. The fact I couldn't remember was hurting me so much it wasn't funny. But she was also right with not wanting to be all about sex – I mean, even touching Bella seemed to fast and intimate. I felt bad for not stopped last night. There was nothing I wanted more than for this to work out between Bella and I.

As weird as it was I dreamed about Bella during our stay at the hotel. But it also included someone else, but I didn't know who. But I had some kind of an idea. A little baby with light golden curls and pudgy, rosy cheeks. The most adorable baby girl I'd ever seen. I didn't even know what to think of it all.

It was also ironic and so classical. Too original to dream of the future and what your baby will look like. God, I felt like a total loser now. Lovely.

Bella and I were sitting in Rose's, Alice's and her apartment, waiting for them to get back. Whenever that would be. I just wanted to see it happen.

Suddenly her nails started digging into my palm. "Bella?" I asked tiredly. How many times have I asked this? "What's wrong now?"

The nails applied more pressure. "What are they going to think?" she whispered. "What if they think I'm a slut? For sleeping with you so soon?" I could hear the worry. I didn't see why they would even _consider_ thinking that, because, if they all knew Bella for as long as they claimed, they would know she was far from it.

But before I could answer, we heard that familiar click and then a slight squeak of a door. I could practically feel the sweat on Bella's hand, the race of her heart.

Then I saw it was just Rosalie and relaxed. Talking to my sister was easier than most, because she could be a very understanding person. Sometimes. And I really hoped this was one of those times, too. We needed her help more than anything.

"No, I don't know – I don't think so, but I could be-" She stopped talking into the silver phone as she walked into the living room and stopped us. I could see the visual change after she got over the shock. Her back relaxed and she exhaled in relief. "Oh, God," she breathed, then spoke into the phone. "I'll call you back, Ali."

After she hung up, she turned to us. "Bella, oh my God, where have you been?" she demanded, suddenly outraged. I tried to suppressed a laugh, because I knew how un-intimidating my sister was when she tried to be. Then Rosalie's eyes cast down, down to where my hand was held between our thighs, nearly resting on Bella's.

"Oh. My. God."

"Rosalie," Bella said quickly, "I was with Edward."

Rose's head snapped up, looking closely at Bella's face as she dropped to the nearby chair. Her face held the astonishment, and for some odd reason I felt offended by this. Well, she did know about my dating-impairment and she was probably worried for her friend. I can't do any of that to Bella, I thought. She can't know everything.

"With Edward?" Rose repeated dumbly.

"We stayed together last night," I volunteered quietly.

"You weren't with Jacob?" Rose exploded, shooting up from her chair.

Bella timidly said, "No, I wasn't. Why's it even matter? Edward and I stayed in a hotel room last night, calm down." But her nails dung into my hand again.

"Oh my God, we'll talk about this later," Rose said quickly, digging out her phone again. "Last night Alice was so sad that Jasper had to comfort her, and then she got worried when you didn't come home...Emmett and Jasper went to Jacob's and beat the shit out of him," she admitted slowly. "They just went back two minutes ago to see if he changed his mind." She looked up from the dialled, levelling her eyes. "You should have called, Bella, we were all very worried." Then her eyes shifted to mine. "And you should be more responsible."

"Yeah, I'm realizing that," I admitted teasingly, glancing down at Bella's flat stomach, covered by a small, tight tank top she'd changed into.

Rosalie was talking as fast as possible into the phone, conveying details that I couldn't catch but knew the gist of.

"Oh, God," Bella breathed. "This just makes it all worse. Jacob is going to be mad at _me_ – me! I didn't even do anything!" She huffed, releasing my hand and leaning back on the couch. She glanced at me, pouting like a child. I smiled. "This sucks ass! Alice is hurt, Jacob's hurt, Emmett'll be pissed...I don't want to know what Rose's thinking."

"Hey, I grew up with her. She can be understanding."

She sighed. "Well you don't know her on a friendship scale."

"Ew, of course not. Gross. Why would I be friends with my sister? Talk about gag." Bella laughed, shaking her head as she got off the couch.

My eyes lingered on her hot little ass as she strode over to the window, taking in the scene. I probably looked a little too long, but I was only aware of the fact that Rosalie wasn't in the room and Bella didn't see me. That's all I needed to check her out. But I still had that feeling, like I was in the boundaries of an uncharted territory. It was the feeling that I was pushing it with Bella, that I wasn't taking it as slow as I should have on many occasions. I think it all came back to last night.

"Hey, Edward, you okay?" I realized I was lacking mental awareness. As I looked up at Bella's eyes I decided there was no chance in covering it up. "No," I said and shook my head once. "I am not okay." Before she could know the real meaning of the words I grabbed the nearby throw pillow and slammed in down on my sudden erection.

"Oh, God," she muttered, but smiled while shaking her head. "Um," she glanced in the direction of the kitchen, "I'll be right back." She hurried off toward the kitchen, where Rosalie had left. I asked if she wanted me to come with her, but Bella said it would be best if she did it herself.

As she walked away I couldn't help but notice how worried she really was. I didn't feel offended as I thought I would be, because I knew she was just scared of the reaction. And, true be told, what I said about Rosalie being an understanding person, was a complete and utter lie. Rosalie was a hard-ass.

Trying to take my mind from what Rosalie might think or feel I turned on the TV to a rerun of the last basketball game. It barely reverted my attention. I did weirdly feel protective of Bella and I probably shouldn't have this early in the game. But I didn't stop taping my fingers on my thigh and staring at the ceiling. I've never been one to have many patients. There had to be a five to ten minute interval before I heard it.

"Edward Anthony Cullen!"

Gingerly, I stood form the couch and walked into the kitchen, pretending to be shameful of myself for my sister's benefit. "Yes, darling sister?" I asked innocently.

"You little man whore!" she snapped, crossing her arms and leaning against the counter with a scowl. I would have thought this would be a bad outcome form their conversation, but Bella was smiling as she sat on the counter. "You slept with her at a _coffee shop?" _Rose gasped, looking flabbergasted. "Whore!"

I smiled, despite her words. "Well thank you, Rosalie, I love you, too."

"Do you have anything to say, Edward Cullen?" Rose asked sharply. "I am damn surprised at your lack of words after what you've done. I mean," suddenly she smiled, "you? A father?" She threw her head back to laugh, overexerted. "Give me a break, Mom and Dad will have a field day when they hear this."

"You always were the one to tell Mom and Dad," I muttered, rolling me eyes as I leaned beside Bella, who'd been quiet all this time but amused. "Rat me out, I don't care. Just know Bella's no going to be living with you guys much longer."

Rosalie's eyes nearly fell from her head. "You can't be fucking serious!" she breathed. "You guys just got together and your moving in together? Holy fuck!"

"Well we've already had sex," Bella offered quietly, smiling weakly down at me. "Why not?" she asked Rosalie softly.

"But, you guys..." she drifted, and for once I saw her helpless. I could see she wanted to say something but didn't know how. Rose sighed. "But do you really think it'll work? Do you think you guys can make that work? I mean, Edward, you should know basing a relationship on sex never works." She quirked an eyebrow.

Wow, what a lame attempt, I thought. "She already knows," I informed my sister tauntingly.

"Oh?" Rosalie drew out the word, shifting to Bella with an expectant and curious look. "So she knows you have different daily sex partners and have cheated on every girlfriend you've ever had? Or that your just a player?"

"It's the same thing," I snapped, but realized that probably wasn't the best thing to say. "Rosalie, just stop being a bitch," I sighed. "Why can't you just be happy and supportive?"

"Because its fucked!" she roared, and I felt Bella flinch. "You guys can't just start a relationship after having random sex and getting her pregnant. That can't help any kind of relationship, Edward, don't you know that? God, your such a fucking asshole!"

As I was about the respond Bella leaned forward. "Who are you to tell me who I can't have a relationship with?" she snapped forcefully. "If I want to date a man whore I can! You can't tell me who I can and can't date, Rosalie. There's nothing you can do about it." There sadness was easy to hear.

"But Bella, he's my brother!" Rosalie objected, like this gave her the authority to tell her friend what to do.

"Yeah, but he's older," Bella taunted, tapping me on the head. "So he can take care of himself."

"Yeah, maybe himself, but a woman and a baby? Not so much, Bella. I know Edward can't do it, and your just going to throw it all out for him. He's not worth it!" Rosalie made a rough gesture to me.

I felt damn offended.

"Rosalie," Bella said evenly but with a hard edge, "I know him better then you do. He can take care of himself, me and a baby, how much you wanna bet?"

"But Bella!" Rose snapped, throwing her hands up like it would have no effect. "He could hurt you! I know Edward very well, and he had a horrible reputation with cheating on women – he's never even been in a freaking relationship! How do you think you guys can just jump into one with a baby!?" Her voice rose to a yell.

When I'd heard that tone I knew Bella wouldn't react to it well. And I saw it all over her face.

Bella jumped down from the counter. "Right now, Rosalie," she whispered, "you're the only one hurting me." And, with crossed arms, she left the kitchen with a simple "I'll see you later" to me.

Ugh, I just love my sister so much.

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**I don't know the plans for the next chapter, so it may be a while...review!**

**-Mickey**


	17. Do You Need Me?

**Computer wasn't working so it was hard to get this out...I did this whole chapter in one day! One day, for all you guys! I've started the next one as well, and you can probably count on it for sometime between today and Sunday.**

**Now, here is the trick: I write on my no-Internet laptop, stories and FanFictions, and so, to prevent unwanted readers at my home, I have to connect this to the Internet when no one's home. Its al about timing. Sense I'm home alone today, I can. Maybe a lot of reviews and I can finish the next one today and risk my privileges to get it out to you all! **

BPOV

"And that's what happened," I concluded, feeling the intense burn of my cheeks and wishing it away. Gingerly, I set my hand on my stomach, slightly marvelling about the odd feeling, and added, "How this happened."

There was a long pause around me. I fidgeted with my fingers nervously, awaiting any reaction.

"Wow," Jasper finally breathed.

To my surprise, Emmett laughed, almost making me jump out of my seat. "Bella!" he chuckled. "I can't believe _you_ would—" Suddenly he stopped, a blank look crossing his face. "You...you were with Edward last night?" he asked gravely.

"Yes," I responded slowly, weary.

Emmett looked at Jasper in shock, which quickly turned to a cocky smile.

"We beat the shit out of that guy for no reason," Emmett gushed.

"Fuck," Jasper mused, trying to hide a smile. Apparently, guys never feel bad when they beat other guys.

But if there was anything I was worried about now, it was Jacob. I knew everything that he was capable of and breaking a few necks would be effortless. He would certainly have no problem or issue with making my life hell, and I would probably get some kind of grief for Emmett and Jazz doing whatever they did. I would be in trouble for their dumbass actions. Jacob would make sure of it, that much I was sure.

With our relationship out in the open, I was able to throw myself over Edward just slightly more then I probably should have: sitting on his lap and eating his at the table (me feeling too sick to actually get some myself), taking place on his lap again for the horror movie that night and burying my face in his neck at the scary parts. I did feel the odd giddy feeling and my preserves of taking things slow were disappearing. Maybe I would have to live with the fact I had some mass of sluttiness in my body.

Take it medium speed, I decided as Edward kissed me goodbye, leaving me with the two most pressing girls in this universe. I started for the stairs to my room.

But Rosalie was in my way. I sighed. We never really made up after that one altercation. I'd pretty much cried in my room while Edward was yelling with Rose downstairs.

"What Rose?" I asked as calmly as possible.

"Bella, I'm sorry! I'm really sorry – I didn't mean it!" She wrapped her tones arms around me.

For a second I paused, but wrapped my arms around her thin waist. "Don't think about it, Rosie," I said, pulling back.

"No, no," she disagreed quickly, shaking her head. "I really should not have said that, Bella – its not my place. If your..._happy_ with Edward, then go for it." I saw the force behind the words. "Can I tell you something, though?" Rosalie asked, completely releasing me.

"Um, yeah."

"When was the last time you had sex with Edward?" She paused. "Or just got his rocks off?"

I blushed hard – so hard, I thought I'd pass out with the blood rush. "Rosalie, he's your brother..." I mumbled.

She sighed, slightly impatient. "Well, Bella," she said, "I know you and Edward are going to try to work things out, start out slow, but if you think you can deprive him of sex – well, you've got something else coming for you." The blood that had rushed so fast drained. "He's lived on sexual pleasure for all his life – and you can't just deprive him. Eventually he'll snap and..." She didn't finish.

"Cheat on me," I added bluntly.

"But don't take it – Bella!" Rosalie called after me frantically as I ran up the stairs.

I wasn't really hurt I was feeling but annoyance. Anger. Frustration. Confusion. I cared about Edward quite a bit, and I knew things had to work out for our baby. But how? Couldn't the damn guy be faithful? Couldn't I trust him to _not_ be like Jacob? Now that was a painful thought. I didn't want to compare the two because they were nothing alike in anyway – Edward wasn't going to hurt me. Well, I hoped. But there was one thing that I couldn't deny they had in common: they were both players.

I grabbed my cell phone and quickly texted Edward, desperate to get the chip out of my shoulder. _What r u doing?? _I typed and clicked Send. Within seconds I had my reply, and I could almost hear Edward's slightly irritated sigh, like he knew I was pestering. _What has Rose done now?_ I crashed down on my bed, rolling onto my stomach but quickly taking the motion back. My baby, I sighed, feeling a weird tightness in my chest. I think it was a good hurt, though. I hoped so.

_Im bored, _I typed back, which was a lie. I needed some start to the subject.

The cell phone rang in my hand.

"Bella, what's going on?" Edward sighed before I could greet him.

"What do you mean?" I snapped, neglecting to tell the truth right away.

The one problem being I didn't know how Edward would respond to what I had to say...ask. What would he say when he found out I was still worried about him cheating? I mean, how could he _not_ if he was so used to hourly random sex?

"Your message was written in green jealousy."

I looked down at my lap. "I'm not jealous, just...curious," I corrected slowly.

It was quiet on the other end of the phone.

Before he could say anything, I continued, taking the leap. "Okay, so I was talking to Rosalie and..." I blurted it out. "And I can't deprive you of sex for more than a day, or you'll cheat on me. If you need it, tell me."

There was a weird silence and some rustling. "Bella..." he growled.

"Edward," I interrupted, "I just wanted to know...I mean, I know you promised me and all, but are you sure? I mean, you said you used to live on sex." I exhaled.

The silence continued for a few more seconds.

"What do you want me to say?" he asked finally, gravelly.

"That you either need me or not." I paused. "Which is it?" I asked. If he needed a release, I would give him that much, I decided instantly.

After a moment Edward said, "I'm okay right now. You have nothing to worry about."

I sighed, slightly impatient. "But your going to tell me if you need sex, right? I don't care if its midnight or three in the morning – come to me if you need it. All right?" I asked sternly.

"But—"

"Don't give me that!" I snapped, craning the phone from my ear to nearly yell into the mouthpiece. "If you need sex, tell me!"

He laughed quietly. "And what if you need sex?" he asked darkly. "Then what?"

God, why did he have to be so playful?

"Then I'll let you know, Edward," I told him.

But even though he eased my fears, they didn't disappear.

The next morning Edward told me to meet him at the hospital around two-thirty. For what, he didn't tell me. And why should he be allowed to tell _me_ what to do? If anything, it should be the other way around, I thought as I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and put on some makeup. I was dressed in a black soft cotton dress and shiny leather pumps. Impractical? To a tee. But why would I even have to go to the hospital? I understood if he wanted to take me somewhere more romantic, but a hospital? What the hell was so romantic about that? I thought, grabbing my purse and keys. Alice and Rose were already out shopping.

The stairs to the apartment were becoming a bitch. Once I made it to my car I texted Edward again, hoping he'd have his phone.

_Why am I coming again?? _

As I started the car I got my answer. Apparently, its none of my business. I didn't bother texting back.

I slammed my heel down on the gas, jerking forward and nearly hitting the minivan in front of me. I grunted and reversed, manoeuvring the van and pulling out to the road. It takes about ten minutes to get to the General Hospital, where Edward worked. During the drive I tried to ponder every reason for this.

By the time I found a parking spot I hadn't come up with anything. What a ass, I thought as I walked through the sliding doors. Where was I even supposed to go? I wondered, so I went to the receptionist. There was a doctor standing beside the young girl, flipping files.

"How may I help you?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm looking for Edward Cullen," I said bluntly. There better have been a good reason for this. "He works here," I added.

The way the girl's face changed to bitterness made me what to laugh and brag about what was inside of me.

"Dr. Cullen?" the guy flipping the files asked, looking up. His nametag read Dr. Newton. "You must be his new girlfriend, Bella," he added with a weird note hidden. "I've heard a lot."

"Nice to meet you," I said as sweetly as possible, shaking his hand.

"I'll go get him for you," Dr. Newton added, releasing my hand and heading down the hall.

As I turned back to the receptionist I noted to the sceptical look on her face. It looked a little jealous, too. Okay, I knew Edward was gorgeous and hot and sexy and sweet...—but why was she looking at _me_ like that? It was the total look of a bitch. Great, I though. An enemy.

"What?" I snapped, crossing my arms as her stare got more bitter.

Her blue eyes narrowed. "How long have you and Edward been going at it?" she asked, voice layered in sceptic and knowing. That glint in her eyes told me she knew a lot.

Shit.

"Just—" I stopped. I was about to say "just recently," but how could I say that to one of his coworkers? Chances are, she knew about his playing ways. What would she think if she knew we just started dating _and_ I'm pregnant. Oh, Edward would have one hell of a job with this chick around. So I lied, "A while now, actually."

A sudden smile burst on her lips, a knowing one. Yes, she knew Edward was the world's greatest player.

"Really?" she asked, faking interest, folding her hands and resting her chin on them to look at me. "That's very interesting. Let me guess!" She pretended to inspect me. "You had a one-night stand with him and now your hoping he'll give you a chance. That's real sweet, you know." She smiled innocently.

On any other day, I would not have let it go. But now that I had Edward, a baby, _and_ I was at the hospital for no damn reason, she was going to get it.

"In your dreams, honey," I snorted. "Looks like you're the one chasing him."

Her face reddened and she said, "I don't chase – I hunt. And you...well, you look like the type he just stood up."

"And you..."I mimicked her tone. "...well, you look like the type he _keeps_ standing up."

"I slept with him two weeks ago," the girl snapped, leaning forward with pride on her face.

I stared at her, masking the tightness in my chest and the drop of my stomach. The pain, the hurt. By no means did he cheat on me, but it hurt to know he stooped this low.

As we continued to stare each other down, I heard distant footsteps and then an arm around my waist.

What made me break our stare was when her eyes bulged.

"Hey, baby," I said pointedly, nearly gloating in her face.

Edward didn't respond; he was synchronizing the look between the receptionist and I. "Melanie," Edward finally sighed. "Why do I have a feeling you just made my life a hell of a lot harder?"

"Well, she deserves to know," Melanie snapped. "The fact that you sleep with anything should be a known fact to your new girlfriend."

Bitch! I thought. "So I was wondering," I said innocently, "when did he not return your phone calls?"

"You know what!" Melanie shot out of her chair, leaning forward. But before another word could be made Edward pulled me back.

"That's enough!" he snapped, looking at me mostly. My mouth dropped. "Bella, relax. She's not worth it."

Obviously, that offended her. "Well I must be worth it if you came back twice," she said harshly.

Edward sighed. "Come on, Bella, let's go." He pulled me down toward the hall, to the elevator.

Once inside, I pounced.

"With _that_!?" I snapped, gesturing to the closed door.

"Bella—" Edward started to apologize.

"No! Did you see her?" I paused. "Sure she was pretty, but why? A co-worker? God!" I stomped my foot in frustration, turning my back to him. I definitely needed time to relax and catch my emotions – they were all over the place. I was slightly surprised when Edward didn't try to reach out to me, but I was thankful. I just wished I hadn't snapped so bad. When the doors dinged again I stepped out before facing him. "Why am I here?" I demanded.

"You have an ultrasound today," he said casually with a shrug, starting down the hall, past another reception desk and toward a light green door.

I hurried to catch up. That seemed to shock me. "Oh," I mumbled. "Okay. Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

He shrugged again, holding the door for me to the lounge. "Surprise," he grinned.

And just like that, my anger evaporated.

**Its so odd writing this because I'm, like, at the same part in my other story 'Three's a Family' – its like total déjà vu! But, hey, they're totally different situations! **

**Review and the next one shall be soon!**


	18. First Look

**Its been so long, so I have two chapters for you! And happy belated Christmas!**

* * *

BPOV

"So who's doing this?" I asked as I settled back on the creaky hospital bed. After waiting for a half hour in the doctor's lounge, Edward finished his work before taking me to this ultrasound room, but I didn't know if he was the one to do it or what.

"Your doctor is Dr. Mike Newton," Edward informed me as he pulled up my dress to cover my bottom half with paper. But he stopped, cocking his head as he inspected the flimsy lace thong I wore.

"I didn't know why I was here!" I snapped, yanking the paper from his hand and settling it over the revealing piece. "You really must have lived on sex," I muttered.

Edward shook his head, rubbing his eyes like that would get the clouding lust out. "You have no idea how many dirty thoughts I had when I saw that." He nearly moaned the words. "The dirty things I could do right here..."

"Okay, Edward." I held up my hands. "Is this the point where you need sex?"

He considered that for a moment. "Later, probably," he admitted, falling down in the chair beside me.

I laughed, rolling my eyes. A few seconds later the door opened and that same man walked in, holding another clipboard. I bit my lip, suddenly anxious. And then the reality sunk in. I'm going to see my baby, I realized abruptly.

"Hello again," Dr. Newton said, setting the clipboard down on the bed. "I'll need you to fill this out, Bella," he added, handing me a pen.

"'Kay," I sighed. Yay, paperwork. I quickly filled everything out and handing it back to him, not missing a beat.

"I'll be right back," the doctor said, disappearing out the door again.

I snorted. What was taking so long? I turned to Edward, who looked very tired and frustrated. "What's wrong with you?" I demanded. "Out too long partying?"

He glared at me. "I wish," he muttered, sitting up straighter. "I'm just frustrated beyond belief because of this." He gestured around the room quickly. I felt a weird wave of sadness and depression as I looked into his green eyes. That was a bitchy thing for him to say about this baby.

I didn't really expect him to be happy-happy about it all, but he could have at least tried! Maybe he hadn't had a real girlfriend sense, like, grade school, and then he suddenly has one _and_ a baby on the way – I could understand frustration with that. But frustration over the fact he had to come with me to our ultrasound was damn childish. Well, I guess Edward himself was childish, and I would hopefully have to live with that for the rest of my life. I'd have to raise _two_ kids!

Slowly, I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed to face Edward straight-on. He looked at me lazily.

"You do realize that pregnancy means I am having a baby, right?" I asked calmly. "If you think this is bad, just wait for seven months, Edward. It will be here in seven months, then what are you going to do? Wish it away or ignore it?" I cocked my head to the side, looking at him with interest of his answer.

He seemed to struggle for words. After a few beats, and he came up short with anything, he stood up and moved to stand between my legs. Wrapping his arms around my waist, Edward leaned forward to rest his forehead in the crook of my neck. His warm breath made me shiver. "I don't know," he whispered. Then took a deep breath and, "I'm scared."

It was like an out-of-body experience. I'd never really heard a man – especially one so masculine and, well, cocky – admit to being frightened by something.

Cupping my hand around his chin, I pulled his face up to look at me. "You don't have to worry about anything," I whispered, tightening my legs around his waist and bringing my mouth down to his.

But before I could feel the hotness of his mouth, the warm sensation of his tongue massaging mine, I heard the door open. We pulled away at the same time and I unwound my legs from him quickly.

"Oh," Dr. Newton said quickly, apologetically. "I didn't mean to interrupt.

"Its fine," I replied as coolly as possible, my cheeks burning hard. Edward didn't think it was fine though. He grunted and fell back in the chair, sporting some major wood. Seeing that made an aching in the pit of my stomach. I wanted to ride that cock of his, no doubt.

Dr. Newton, wearing a huge, amused smile, spread some green tingly gel over my bare stomach and by that time, I was anxious for it to happen. He told me everything he was doing and explained about how we were going to see the baby. I just nodded eagerly, slightly breathless by what was about to happen. Edward kind of felt out of it, so I just ignored him. Dr. Newton touched the wand to my flat stomach and a steady beating filled the room. I didn't need a doctor to tell em what that meant. I looked at Edward when I saw him sit up straighter in the chair at the sound. The picture was fuzzy in different shades of gray and white.

"Bella, do you know when you conceived?" the doctor asked gently. "Around the day."

I smiled at the screen. "I know I'm two months pregnant," I told him.

He paused for a second. "So you due around August 23rd. Sound good?"

"Fabulous," I responded. It was so quiet I barely heard it, but Edward whispered very softly, "Scary." I just rolled my eyes.

I would whip this guy into shape, in time for this baby and me. Edward would finally get to see me for me and not just the physical stuff; he was about to get a dose of my attitude and emotionality.

The ride home was painful and quiet and stressful and

I was so ready for Edward, and I wanted him _bad_. Without another second of hesitation I got out of the car and grabbed his hand, and he pulled us to the apartment. We passed kisses back and forth, nearly making out as we tried to run to his apartment. We stumbled past Alice's and Rosalie's apartment, struggling down the hall to his. I tripped over my own feet in the heels, falling against the wall beside the door. As his tongue pushed more forcefully into my mouth, I moaned and struggled to throw my leg over his hip, rubbing my body against his major erection and feeling his moans vibrate trough my own body.

"Wh...where's Em..." I sucked on the skin of his neck. "And Jasper...?" I fumbled with the door behind us, taking the chance that it was unlocked. When it didn't budge I gave up and went back to giving Edward my full attention. His hands roamed over my ass, massaging my thighs. I threw my head back, breathing hard.

"They left," he growled. "Movie...I think."

"Then get me inside before you take me right against the wall," I snapped, using the wall as leverage to wrap my legs around his waist. "Now," I moaned, inches from his lips.

He mastered the door and holding me, stumbling in and slamming it behind us. We didn't make it too far. Instead of making it to his bedroom he carried me to the living room couch, tossing me down on the fluffy couch and crashing down on top of me. Feeling his weight had me panting and feeling oddly hot. My hips bucked up for him, making contact with his erection. I let out a moan so loud it was almost a scream. I rushed to pull off my dress and struggled with getting my bra off.

At that point, I could have just kept the bra on because I just needed my lower half bare and his, too. There was nothing to it than that, just that simple.

And once that was done and gone with, I could admit it did not take long for us to get off because of how keyed up and horny we were. A small part of me wanted to savour the feelings I had during all that, both physically and emotionally, but I knew we had some serious talking to do. I mean, the only reason he got a little was because I knew I wouldn't have had all his attention if he was having a weight of sexual frustration pressing on him during the talk.

"Edward," I said causally, slowly building up to what I had to say. But I chickened out and tapped his sculpted, bare chest idly. I was laying on his chest with a fleecy blanket draped over us, face to face and with our clothes thrown around us as well.

I bit down on my lip hard and averted my eyes from his burning gaze.

"Yeah? What is it, Bella?" he prompted after a moment, his fingers trailing up my spine. "You can tell me anything."

With a sudden bout of frustration I looked up and met Edward's green eyes as levelly and sure as I could.

"Edward, I have a few concerns with what you said at the hospital," I confessed firmly, taking in the taunt jaw and tense muscles under me. That wasn't much a good sign. I continued on. "You..." I struggled with confusion. "You make me unsure if what I'm doing is right," I admitted.

And just to add on to the worry I had, Edward turned his head away like a child. "I don't know what your talking about," he muttered.

"You don't get it," I grumbled, rubbing a hand over my face. "I don't want to make any mistakes here. Okay? Its not like I'm going to get any younger and this could be the one, hard chance at happiness I could have in my life. I am going to have a baby – a living, breathing human being, which makes everything harder to deal with and control. We probably could have worked things out easier if we didn't have a baby on the way from a day of heated monkey sex!" I exhaled, mentally taking a note of his easy frustration and stubbornness.

He quirked an eyebrow. "You _one _chance?" he asked sarcastically. "You said that with Jacob, didn't you?"

He knew he hit a sensitive nerve.

I swallowed loudly. "This isn't about Jacob. Its about us and this," I set a hand on my stomach, "learning to act like a family. Edward, this isn't just something you can throw away or get rid of – it's a baby. A little tiny child." I sighed. _A baby_. I shook my head to clear the sudden mess and straightened everything out. "I know this is the wrong thing to say after what we just did...and said..." I blushed, looking down at our bare bodies. "But you need to choose what you want."

Edward's eyes, having been averted and glazed, snapped back to look at me in surprise. I raised my eyebrows, prompting a response.

"What do you mean?" he demanded, sputtering to get the words out. He tried to sit out, putting a more forceful max into his words, but my body blocked the movement.

"Well," I laughed dryly, "either way, your going to be sharing this baby with me, but you need to decide if you want me _with_ it." I paused, long enough for him to gather what he needed to process those words. "You pick," I added quietly, calmer.

I grew up in a broken home – my parents living on different sides of the US – so I knew what it was like to have two families and seeing different partners that my parents would each hope were The One. Personally, I'd never been to ecstatic with having the interval always between me and one of my parents, and I knew that's never what I would want my child to have to live through. My parents had been apart for as long as I could remember, and so far it seemed the baby would have that same life.

Having that big interval in your mom's house and your dad's house always puts you in the middle. In the spotlight to choose – should I spent Christmas break with Mom in beautiful Florida? Or visit the snowy cold of Washington? You always had to choose, and sometimes it just wasn't pretty. I remembered always having to anger one parent to make the other happy, the hurt that had always caused me. I didn't want my own baby to be put through the same motions of choosing.

Edward studied me for a few moments, quietly tracing over my face like he was reading a book. I looked back intently, suppressing impatience.

"Are you asking," he began, voice hushed, "if I want to be with you?"

"Well, yeah," I said, exasperated. "I need to know what your thinking – you too busy keeping your guard up hard and strong."

He looked away guiltily and exhaled, also guilty. "I do want to be with you, Bella," he whisper-whined.

I felt a wave of confusion and gripped his chin to jerk it toward me. I looked into his eyes, ready to control him with everything I had.

"I can't support my new weight and yours in a relationship, Edward. You need to start using these muscles for something other than laying anything with vagina, all right? Because you are going to start to learn that I don't just stand by and watch; I control and lead." I looked at him expectantly.

Surprisingly, he smiled. "I like a girl that can lead," he said suggestively. I sighed and shot him a look. "Okay, okay, I understand," he added quickly, throwing his head back and rolling his eyes.

"You understand what?" I snapped pointedly.

He sighed. "I understand that I have to help you to make this relationship work." He paused. "How'd I do?" he asked, grinning like a child.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine," I sighed.

We talked some more, filling in a few blanks I'd missed for answers. I learned Edward was scared of becoming a father because of all the changes it entitled and all the work it included. He didn't want to mess it all up, which I understood in seconds – I was scared I'd mess it up, too! I was beginning to realize what a soft side Edward had deep down. I mean, he _did_ look frightened by the very idea of being a father. pretty much told him he had to get his shit together soon.

After a good half hour of conversation Edward started to turn playful again, nibbling on my neck as I tried to tell him how pathetic his player lifestyle was. I gave up with what I was going to say and brought his lips up to mine, propping up onto my knees, my bare breasts pressing into his chest.

I loved the way his lips felt, so gentle and soft, just so smooth and perfect, I was lost in it. Some of the things this man could do with his tongue...I felt a sudden uncomfortable dampness between my legs. I wouldn't go as far as saying he was hesitant in sticking his tongue in my mouth, but he didn't just go for it; he slowly opened his mouth, questioningly, and I followed, immediately allowing his tongue the entrance and dominance he wanted.

We continued in our little make out session and before long I started to feel his arousal on my leg, and I started giggling against his lips. I pulled back an inch, enough to speak. "Horny," I snickered, diving back in for more of him.

As I was ready to sit up and straddle him, take care both of our throbbing problems and hopefully prolong the feeling of being whole with him inside me, the chorus of a loud pop rock song started up. I paused, hands on his chest propping myself up before I was about to sheath over him, smiling down at Edward's annoyed and frustrated face.

I pat his cheek. "Oh, don't be such a whiny baby," I said, rolling my eyes and collapsing on his chest again. I searched around the floor for my phone – my purse had been thrown to the floor with all the contents spread around – coming across the hard surface in seconds. The ringing continued so that had to mean only one person. "This has to be Alice," I told him, getting comfy as I flipped open the phone without checking the ID.

Looking back now, I realize that was a key mistake.

"Hello?" I idly twirled Edward's golden locks around my finger, his hands rubbing my back.

The voice sounded as I remembered and brought back dozens of sour memories.

"Bella, what to fuck was the about!?"

* * *

**Oh my God, now _who _could that be? I guess you can tell me in a review!**

**-Mickey**


	19. Been Awhile

**I wonder who's on the phone....? **

_----_

_"Hello?" I idly twirled Edward's golden locks around my finger, his hands rubbing my back. _

_The voice sounded as I remembered and brought back dozens of sour memories. _

_"Bella, what to fuck was the about!?"_

BPOV

My heart was in a sudden pain, dropping into my stomach. Sweet Jesus, I knew that voice anywhere.

At this point I didn't care of hurting Edward's feeling and pushed him away, detaching his lips from my neck. I held his face away but locked eyes with him. He could tell something was wrong. His eyebrows knit together.

"Jacob," I said stiffly, and Edward's face changed.

The anger was clearly written and it even frightened _me_. His green eyes widened and his magical mouth dropped as he watched my closely, testing almost.

I closed my eyes. "What do you want?" I demanded, rubbing a hand over my face. Why did my world have to crash down when it gets so good? I wondered.

His husky, deeply angered voice answered with, "Why did your friends come to my place looking for you? Why did they beat the shit out of me, Bella? Fuck! I've been in the hospital all night!"

A tear threatened at my eye.

"Where were you anyway?" he demanded, blurting out the words. "Why were they looking _here_? Were you with that Edward guy? Tonya told me about him, when you were on your little date with him and you left before I even got to see you." I could hear the smile in his voice, and I felt my stomach turn. "I didn't even get to see who your with now."

I pushed through my closed down system. "I don't have to answer to you Jacob," I replied quietly, trying to move away so Edward wouldn't hear, but he held onto me, listening carefully to everything we were saying. "Where I was is none of you business, and why Emmett and Jasper were trying to protect me...well, your just going to need to talk with them." A single tear fell, dripping and glistening on Edward's chest. I smeared it around idly.

"Oh, really—"

The phone ripped out of my hand and I could hear the distant rise of Jacob's voice. For a moment I laid there, stunned, but quickly bounced back. "Edward, give me the phone!" I snapped, reaching for it. But he held it over his head, making it impossible for my shorter arms to reach. I huffed, pressing my face to his skin.

There was the distinctive sound of Edward closing the phone and a painful silence filled the space after. "Thank you," I whispered without lifting my head, my voice muffled so quiet I didn't know if he heard me. But I guessed he did as I felt him kiss the top of my head. He just saved me a lot of headache and annoyance with hanging up the phone when I didn't have the will to do so myself. And _I_ thought I was strong-willed! "You saved me a huge headache," I added quietly.

"Yeah I bet," Edward muttered, then turned up his voice to add, "That guy is a dick, what did you ever see in him?"

I didn't look up. "I was in love with him..." I murmured against his skin, wondering if _was_ was actually the right way to put it.

"Do you still have feelings for him?" Edward wondered quietly, after a moment. He didn't sound jealous, just curious.

After a moment I replied with, "I think so." I really could have lied my way through and said that every feeling I had for him was gone, evaporated, but I had to be honest with Edward. We just talked about this – I couldn't lie about who I loved. Jacob would always be a part of my life, but slowly, he was edging his way to more distant horizons in my mind and heart. I had to remember that.

"I probably do," I added quietly. "I mean, what I had for him just can't go away, Edward. He'll always be there..._here_." I lifted my head enough to point to my chest, where my heart is.

Edward nodded, though I knew he did not like that idea by the look in his eyes.

But that was one thing he would have to get used to and understand.

~**~

We were still cuddled together, naked at best, and completely silent. I didn't know what to say after the whole Jacob-thing that was still leaving its mark on me. Obviously I couldn't say Jacob didn't matter (because he did) and I couldn't tell him I could forget Jacob (because I never could completely), but I could, however, say that I didn't want Jacob (because I wanted Edward). So, just to sum up, there was nothing aptly to be said between us – nothing that didn't evolve what would end up as some kind of fight. So I kept my mouth sealed like it was glued shut; if he wanted to talk he could start and run _his_ mouth.

I was ready to drift, curling closer into a ball over Edward's body, when there was the distinctive sound of keys jingling and fumbling in the lock. Voices filled close after, rising with building laughter. I stirred, flinching at the loud, booming voice.

"Oh, hey!" Emmett shouted, voice full of surprise and an amused smile. "What cha guys doin'?" What kind of dumbass question was that? I thought faintly.

"Shut up," I mumbled, nearly moaning the words, as my eyes fell rapidly. "I am so damn tired and I cannot take your damn voice!" Exhaustion was a huge understatement on me now. My eyelids were heavy and my breathing was evening out all by itself. It didn't take long – after a few shouted uses between Emmett and I – until I was completely gone.

EPOV  
Maybe I shouldn't say it, but..._what have I done?_

No, its not that I was having regrets about being with Bella, but if I wanted to be truthful, I didn't want a baby. Sure, at first the idea was nice and interesting, perplexing, too, but then when we finally had the ultrasound, it all settled in.

I would be a father. Have a baby. Bella would be a mother. Have a baby to take care of. All the fun that could have started in our relationship would be gone. We would have a huge responsibility ahead of us. We couldn't just have a night to ourselves without a curious baby close by. We couldn't go out, have awesome foreplay on a dance floor at a club, then go home and have sex until we see stars. All young fun would be far gone and I couldn't do a damn thing about it.

When I saw that baby...my baby on the screen, I knew something else was coming for me. I didn't even know how to hold a fucking baby! Much less take care of one twenty-four-seven.

But the one thought that went through my mind was:

Why didn't I wear a condom?

--

"No, I am not going on that!" Bella snapped, stopping in her tracks. I tried puling her hand, but she just stood there with her arms crossed stubbornly.

I sighed impatiently. "C'mon, Bella – it'll be fun," I insisted, trying to pull her again.

She shook her head. "I'll wait."

It was a week later and we were at the amusement park in Seattle, but I wasn't really feeling the amusement anymore. Bella was being too stubborn and wouldn't go on the Drop Zone with the gang and I. I exhaled, stopped pulling at her and shrugged like it didn't matter.

"Fine, but your going to be all alone," I taunted, glancing over my shoulder at Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Rosalie standing by the entrance to the ride, waving us over frantically. "I'd hate to leave you here all alone, Bella."

"No." She wrinkled her nose and looked at the huge ride. "It'll probably trigger my morning sickness," she grumbled.

I laughed. "Right. We'll be back, baby." I kissed her cheek and jogged off.

BPOV

I can say fairly that I was being a poor sport. I just...the Drop Zone would never be a favourite of mine, so there was no way I would step foot on that damn ride. I'd actually been pretty boring through the whole trip to the amusement park because I was feeling slightly under the weather, not to mention that the whole week had been shitty. I felt oddly closer to my baby after the ultrasound and that day had been so fine...if I hadn't gotten that call from Jacob. It'd forgotten most of that time, but I couldn't help but wonder what else he would have said to me.

Would he have known about my pregnancy? What would he say if he knew everything that lead to him being beaten up by a bunch of overprotective, personally non-related brothers? I could only imagine what he would say and do.

"Yay! That was awesome!" Alice shouted, skipping in front of everyone happily. She jumped at me, wrapping her arms around me. She pulled back enough to say, "You totally should have come."

"Nah," I said, shaking my head. "I would have thrown up."

Alice laughed. "That would have been _part _of the fun part!" she squealed. I just rolled my eyes at her as she bounded off to Jasper. Edward walked over to me and loped an arm around my waist.

Something made us closer together. I probably would have pushed form his touch, but there was something about it now. It...it felt right. I guess having his baby and trying to make a relationship work can that kind of effect on you.

When Emmett suggested we check out another fast ride, I put my foot down.

"No," I snapped. "We are not going on another ride. We are going to get something to eat because I am starving!"

"Bella," Rosalie said, "we just ate breakfast."

My anger flared. "Fuck you!" I snapped, pushing Edward away and stomping off in the direction of the food court. Well, whatever. I could eat by myself. Sure, I would look like a pig, but at least I would be full. I don't think its right to feel this kind of pregnancy effect that soon, but that was definitely not my normal appetite.

I walked with my eyes on the ground when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I jumped, dipping under the hand and spinning around to face them.

"I thought you'd like some company," Alice said with a shrug, hooking her arm in mine and walking alongside me.

"Yeah. Sure. I guess." I shrugged, shaking my head as we continued on. Dodging the rushes of people the food court finally came into view, and my mouth started watering instantly.

Alice asked, "What are you in the mood for?" gesturing to all the places around us.

"Do you want anything?" I asked. She shook her head, lips pursed. "Well _I _want a burger and French fries," I told her.

It took nearly everything I had not to tackle the whole line down to get what I wanted, but the wait only made me want it more and I was more than grateful when I finally got my food. I didn't think I was that starved, but as we sat down at a bench I started shoving it all down. It tasted even better then it looked, which seemed incredibly impossible. Alice nibbled on my French fries – which were amazingly crispy, by the way – as I devoured the cheeseburger.

When the burger was down and sense I'd practically inhaled it, I had the hiccups. But that didn't stop me from polishing off the fries and downing the diet coke.

All of it didn't take as long as it should.

"Hungry?" Alice teased, shaking the empty burger box in front of me.

I laughed, slapping her hand away, pushing my hair from my face in the warm wind. "I really think its bad pregnancy hormones," I admitted, sipping the rest of the diet coke down. I exhaled. "I swear, Alice, this is getting so hard."

She smiled sadly. "I'm really sorry for everything I've said, Bella. I mean..." she sighed. "This must be really hard for you and Edward, but I really do think you guys can do it," she admitted with some force. Well, at least she tried.

"How do you _really_ feel?" I asked teasingly.

Alice exhaled. "Okay, I'm worried about you and the baby because of what kind of guy Edward is. I think he's going to hurt you guys for some reason. Like...he'll never grow up and will always be sleeping around. That he won't take care of what he has, which is you and the baby."

I nodded, smiling slightly. "I'm scared, too. Its going to take some time, but I have to whip that guy into a father shape in the next few months," I told Alice, making her chuckle. "That guy has _nothing_ – and I mean nothing – to prepare him for what is to come, Alice. He is in for one hell of a ride and I don't think he even realizes it."

"Bella, your in for one hell of a ride, too," she whispered timidly, her voice almost carrying in the wind.

"I know," I sighed.

Something told me, I would be the one getting it the worst.

----

**And there you have it. Edward is in for the ride of his life and he's concerned about lacking of sex. What a guy!**

**Review!**

**-Mickey**


	20. An Idea to Propose

**Yay! We made it to chapter 20! Wow, took long enough. I think we're looking at a 28 to 40 chapter story here. So here you go, more ups and downs as two people fight for a relationship with a baby in the equation. **

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BPOV

If the amusement park hadn't done me in the day before, Alice and Rosalie insisted on a trip to the mall the next day. At first, I was thinking it would be okay, just go with what they say, in terms of clothes. But what I hadn't counted one was the fact we weren't shopping for clothes – we were going for baby items.

My thoughts on that weren't too pleasant because so far, my baby would be bunking with me in my small room.

A relationship had to have trust, and its not that I didn't trust Edward – I was still trying to figure out his boundaries. The setup we were in now was not right. Two parents living in two different apartments. It wasn't right for a child to grow up in, in my opinion. That left little disagreement that Edward and I needed to move in together. Even if Edward and I were starting to get into our relationship, I wanted to raise my child in an environment with a mother and father that could have equal jobs.

So I had no idea what I was getting myself into when the girls dragged me from the apartment.

I dug in my pocket for my cell phone as Alice held my elbow and towed me for the stairs.

"Hold on," I told her, jerking away. "I need to talk to Edward."

"Can you hurry?" she snapped, then broke into a huge smile. "I'm so excited," she squealed.

Rosalie stepped up beside Alice. "It would be more fun if we knew the sex of the baby, though," she said. "But I know its too early to tell."

I nodded as they headed down the stairs. Knowing Edward would never answer his cell while he was working, I opted for paging him instead. With his pager, he was really on the ball. He answered, unusually fast.

I smiled at his unhappy tone. "What is it, Bella?" he demanded.

"Well I need to tell you something," I said quickly. "Any second now Rose and Alice are going to come storming in here and take me away, so I need to make this quick." I paused, listening as Edward talked to someone in the background. "Are you listening?" I snapped.

He groaned. "Yes, but I'm talking with a patient, Bella. What is it?"

"We're going shopping for baby things," I confessed, listening to the silence on the other end. I waited. Why should that be so surprising? Does he know what a baby needs?

"Okay, have fun," he said hastily.

"No!" I blurted quickly, before he could hang up. I had to put this in his head so he could think about it. "We need to move in together," I continued to blurt. "I can't fit a baby in my room and I don't want to raise it in the current setup."

The silence was suspenseful on the other end. We probably should have sat down and talked about this in a serious manner, instead of just mentioning this quickly over the phone. But I knew – because I knew Alice and Rosalie well enough to be aware that they didn't shop lightly – it had to be out there in the open.

As I was about to ask him if he was okay, he responded and his voice was dull. Stony. Shocked.

Oh, this had to be a bad idea.

"Bella, are you sure?"

"I am positive," I said firmly.

Edward sighed. "We can talk about it later, okay? Bella, I promise we'll figure something out," he said. "But I have to go, all right?"

We said quickly goodbyes and hung up. It hadn't really gone the way I'd been hoping for, but at least it was burned in his mind to ruin his day as he thought about it all.

Alice and Rosalie tried to drill me with excitement as they talked about what the baby would need. I, personally, saw no point to starting the shopping because we didn't know the sex yet, but Alice insisted on "intersex colors", as she put it. I guessed that meant colors for both a boy and girl. A small part of me wished I was further along so we could know what our baby would be.

But it would be a surprise. Just like most things would from that point on.

EPOV

"I'll see you later, Mary, okay?" I asked the elderly woman laying on the hospital bed. She'd been here are a few months now and we didn't expect much more than a few more. Mary was dying of a cancer called Multiple Myeloma that had spread to every part of her body. Sadly, she wasn't as lucky as some were.

"See ya, handsome," she said, voice hoarse, and winked after me.

I laughed as I closed the door, making my way to the next room.

It sucked that such a nice woman like Mary would have to go through something like that. She didn't really look well either. She's been pale and sickly thin for too long, and now she could hardly get her words out coherently.

Its only a matter of time, I thought as I started down the hall toward the next patient's room.

This was probably my least favourite room to visit over the last two days because the mother of the patient – who was a child – had been hitting on me for awhile now. It was awkward, and with my casual sex background, I had the weird urge to just..._fuck_ her. But it seemed too easy – there would have been no fight to it, so there wasn't much interest there. It was easy to just ignore the woman when I thought more about Bella, as cheesy as it sounds. Well, to be honest, it wasn't just Bella.

Its not that the idea of having a baby sounded bad, but it was the responsibility that came with it was scary. I didn't like to think about it too much.

The check over the boy was fast and I announced that he would be fine to go home within the next few days. I'd spent quite a bit of time in this room with this kid while he'd been on bed rest. He had been in a car accident with his father, who hadn't been as lucky as the boy did. You'd think a widowed woman would be more emotional, I thought briefly.

"Excuse me, Mr. Cullen!"

I sighed, turning around to face Victoria, the widowed mother. So close...! And yet, so far away.

"Hello..." I was ready to say use her formal name, but stopped myself. "Victoria. What can I do for you?"

She opened her mouth to say, "Well, I was wondering—"

My pager, attached to the hip of my scrubs, went off, beeping rhythmically. I sighed, holding up my index finger to the woman and unclipping it. I sighed again. Bella. I smiled slightly as I pulled out my phone. I probably would have put off the call had I had more patients to check in on.

A part of me wasn't too impressed that she would page me for – chances are – a bad reason.

I quickly dialled Bella's number, all the while apologizing to Victoria. "I am so sorry, if you could just hold on for a second..." I said hesitantly.

"No, its fine," she disagreed, gesturing to the phone in my hand. "Go for it."

She picked up unusually fast.

I turned away from Victoria for some privacy because she obviously wasn't go anywhere.

"What is it, Bella?" I demanded, sounding irritated and unhappy.

"Well I need to tell you something," she said quickly, rushed. I sighed, knowing I wasn't getting out of this. "Any second now Rose and Alice are going to come storming in here and take me away, so I need to make this quick."

Mike was walking down the hall toward me as Bella was talking, and stopped in front of me, giving a quick nod to Victoria. "Hey Edward, a bunch of the guys are going for drinks after work – are you in for it?"

"I—"

I barely noticed when Bella was done her rant on the other line while I listened to Mike.

"Are you listening?" she snapped, cutting me off.

I groaned. "Yes, but I'm talking with Mike, Bella. What is it?" I held up my finger to put the second person on hold, just for Bella.

"We're going shopping for baby things," she confessed loudly.

What the fuck? Baby things? Oh, yeah, I thought – I'm going to be a father.

"Okay, have fun," I said hastily.

"No!" she blurted quickly, before I could hang up. What else? "We need to move in together," she blurted out. "I can't fit a baby in my room and I don't want to raise it in the current setup."

It made a lot of sense – that much I couldn't argue with. We couldn't have a baby in this kind of...environment, with us living in separate places. But moving in? That was a huge step. Even if we had wanted to take things slow – and that evaporated in days – moving in could make or break us. And I had a feeling it would break us.

I cleared my throat uncomfortably, confused and torn.

"Bella, are you sure?"

"I am positive," she said, completely firm.

I sighed. "We can talk about it later, okay? Bella, I promise we'll figure something out," I said quietly, not wanting to be overheard. "But I have to go, all right?"

"'Kay," she said, and I could hear the damper of her mood that I'd put on her.

Great. I'd just angered a very powerful woman.

"I'll see you later, okay?" I asked softly, trying to raise her mood. "We can talk when I get down work."

"I'll text you," she decided with new animation and a devilish hint.

Something told me she wasn't going to text verbally.

"So how is Bella?" Mike asked. I was ready to asked why she perked his interest, but then I remembered that he is her doctor. "Hormones kicking in?" he teased.

I groaned sarcastically. "Some kind of hormone is definitely kicking in, that's for sure." I looked around, noticing the absence of Victoria. "Where did she go?" I asked Mike, having a weird idea of where she'd made her way to and what scared her off.

"Well, your little friend left with the mention of Bella," he told me, eyeing me cautiously.

Shaking my head, I said, "Hey, dude, what's with the look? I wasn't going to do anything. I have a girlfriend, remember? And..." I sighed, "an unborn baby."

"Yeah, Edward, don't forget that little detail."


	21. Preparation

BPOV

"No," I said. "This is where I draw the line. Its one thing to spend all this money on baby clothes and toys, but lingerie..." I made a face. "Hell no."

Alice frowned. "But Bella, you and Edward need to have some fun," she told me honestly.

I shook my head. "No, Alice. Edward and I need to get our lives together, and I need to shape that guy into a father in months. The last thing I need is for him thinking that I'm a sex toy. So no," I shoved the lacy piece back in Alice's hands, "I don't want this."

As Alice went to disagree with my statement Rosalie piped up.

"Alice, she has a point," Rose added quietly. "Edward has a hard head and a dick that's just as hard. Lingerie is not going to help with the issues their having." Rose shrugged as she went to examine a rack of babydolls. I didn't want to know what she was going to be doing with _that_.

I turned to Alice. "I'm sorry," I said quickly. "Its just..."

"I understand," Alice said quietly, pouting and looking up at me from under her lashes.

Her classic pouty face. The one she used to beg and pled with anyone to get what she wanted. How many times had she tricked me into the dumbest things because of that face?

I wanted to cry.

"Fine!" I threw my hands up in the air in exasperation. "Whatever you want!"

She grinned. "What level of reveal?" she asked in all seriousness.

Did I want to be dirty to Edward, give him a little surprise? Well, its only natural for couples to be dirty and touchy.

"How about four?" I suggested, breaking out into my own excited and anxious smile.

Alice squealed, stomping her heels on the hard wood floor, attracting attention from a few bystanders. But I couldn't help but be excited with her. Alice had been my guide in everything for all the years of my life – of course I always trusted her, no matter what; whatever she suggested I always took it into some kind of consideration at some point, some time. The only time I'd never taken Alice's advice was with Jacob, but that was a whole other book I never wanted to open again. Edward is my new book – even if Alice is against it. As much as I hate to admit it, Alice is usually right – like she's physic almost. What she wanted, suggested, or told anyone was usually the right thing to either do or say.

But that didn't mean she never goes overboard. Actually, Alice is just kind of, slightly prone to going overboard because of her aggrandized emotions.

It was obvious, too late, that what Alice would pick out would be a level five, no doubt. Alice was like, the Queen of Lingerie. And to say I was terrified would be an understatement.

Within seconds Alice came running back to me, where I was still frozen in thought.

"Okay, Bella, I have a fabulous idea!" she said in all seriousness. "I will pick out the sexiest outfit for you and Edward to explore tonight, and then you guys can have all your little kinky fun and all that. But," she held up a babydoll and thong set, "you need Edward squirm right now." She winked and I sighed.

"Alice, Edward and I don't need any alone time any time soon," I complained. "We are having a totally serious conversation tonight and I don't want to throw him off track with sexy lingerie." I made a face. Damn, I knew this stuff would really throw that dude off.

She nodded. "But your so keyed-up right now, Bella," she disagreed. "You need this – you both do. Its normal for couples to have fun sex, even if they need to have serious conversation. Please?" she begged. "It'll be so much fun for you." Alice paused. "And Edward."

I hated that Alice had to be right. I hated that she _was_ right. I despised it! And yet I couldn't deny it. For a quick moment I thought about the pros and cons.

Edward always seemed to be at much more attention – and I didn't mean his erection – after or during sex, so that was definitely a good thing. Well, only for after. It was so easy to control Edward's pleasure and attention during sex! But there were more cons to this. I didn't want Edward to get the wrong idea of our sex life or of our relationship, because that wouldn't help me in the long run. It was barely helping me now. And then we had to talk tonight about moving in together – that's a big step, and I wouldn't want to end it with a fuck, no matter how good it would be. It would be the foundation of our future together and our baby's life – I didn't want his eyes clouded in lust or his hands on my body when I tried to speak. That couldn't happen.

And even if we had sex before our big talk, Edward would want it again – and to be fair, so would I.

And the number one pro and con would be that sex is fucking amazing! Pro because...well, sex is fucking amazing. And a con because we would want it over and over again, until out relationship was just fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. I didn't want us to come to that.

So with great distress and remorse, I agreed to it all.

Saying I didn't want to is a lie, but saying it is right is too. I didn't overly want to do this, but with Alice, there is no fight.

"Make him beg, Bella," Alice advised me as she shoved me into a changing room, tossing the babydoll onto the floor. She gave me a wink before I slammed the door in her face and locked it.

My eyes stared at the little piece for a few moments, noting that Alice had yet to show me my level four-five lingerie. I could only imagine what she would have found. When I'd told Edward I would text him later, I guess I was anticipating something slightly dirty to come of the shopping trip, but then once it came time...I wasn't too excited about this.

But I complied to Alice's little fun. At least I would have more of Edward's attention if some pressure could be taken off.

I slowly slipped off my shoes and then my clothes, picking up the new piece. It was sheer pink and opened in the front to give full show of the tight satin thong. The attached bra pushed my breasts up so much I was sure they would fall out with the right movements.

_And there is going to be a lot of movements tonight._

My fingers trailed along the beaded sparkles at the hem of the material, that touched to tops of my thighs, then at the bust. It _was_ really pretty...I would hate to use it to my _evil_ advantage.

"No," I mumbled as I examined how my ass looked in in. Perfect, that's how. "This guy is putty in my hands – I have him wrapped around my finger," I decided, bending down to my purse and rummaging around for my phone.

This better get him worked up, I thought as I pushed my boobs further up. I pressed the picture application and sent Edward his little tease.

~*~

"I miss this," Rose said, jutting out her bottom lip. "We hardly go out anymore or spend time together. I mean, this baby is like out key to spending time together."

I groaned. "I know," I said flatly. "We're all too busy with our guys." Maybe I shouldn't have been so annoyed about it, but I was beginning to realize the love-hate relationship I had with Edward. At times I loved him – not full _love_ _love_ – and others I wanted to slap him upside the head and say, "What the fuck, dude?" Funny how I probably wouldn't have been taking this so seriously if I wasn't pregnant.

Obviously my attitude had alerted my good-hearted girls that I wasn't too impressed about something – the something being Edward Cullen.

"Bella, what's wrong now?" Alice asked, confused.

Before answering I shoved a few French fries in my mouth and took a sip of my diet coke. Not only was Alice almost clairvoyant, but she could be brilliant at times and that included knowing when someone was upset. Sometimes I wondered if she had some weird other power about emotions or whatever.

My head fell to the table – literally missing my burger by inches – as I groaned in annoyance. "I'm frustrated!" I whined, drawled out the word.

"Yeah, Edward can do that to you," Rosalie laughed. I lifted my head slowly, to glare at her. "Sorry," she apologized dully.

But I sighed and dropped my head again. She was so right and I hated to admit it. "I know," I whined again, my voice muffled by the table and my arm. "Your right. The guy's a fucking dick that thinks with his dick and needs a hobby, besides casual sex. He is gonna be a fucking father – which is a huge God damn mistake that I'm going to regret." I lifted my head to look at their blank faces. "He doesn't tell me," I mumbled, "but I know he doesn't want a baby." I pouted, hanging my head.

It was frustrating enough for me to bring a baby into this world without a job, relying on a guy that strived from sex – hence the reason I ended up pregnant. I was a quick fuck for him. Why did I feel provoked to go through this with Edward instead of being a single parent? What made me think I could whip him, of all people, into a father in mere months?

Well, I had to come up with a plan.

I sighed, rubbing my head. "I don't know how to prepare him for being a dad, guys," I told them quietly. They inclined to hear my words. "Its going to take more than a book and a TV show to get him ready, but how? He doesn't know he's going to have to spend all this money for a baby, seeing as I'm lacking in the job part, and he hasn't even realized he's going to have to get up during the night. He's not going to have a peaceful sleep anymore. Fuck!" I snapped, exasperated, leaning back in my chair.

For once my rambling put a silence to my girls when I needed their advice the most. I could understand that neither of them would know what to do, because clearly they could not relate – I mean, their boyfriends weren't horny, little soon-to-be freaks!

"Bella," Rosalie said after a moment, weaving her fingers together on the table and leaning forward unsurely. I watched her, hoping she had some idea that could help me. She shook her head and tried again. "Bella, my brother may be a hard head, but I know he really cares about you. He does have a lot of growing up to do, but you have to be patient with him," she told me. I nodded bluntly, knowing that I couldn't shape him that quickly over night. "He's not going to just let you go, Bella, " Rose continued. "I've talked to him, and even though he's so not that impressed with me right now, he is scared about being a father. Edward doesn't think he can do all this stuff."

This really grabbed at my interest.

The very thought that Edward – that hot, strong man – was scared of having a baby, gave me a wave of pity. I wouldn't have thought he even got frightened of anything, especially children. And the fact he thought he was incapable of caring for me and a baby was ridiculous. If he tried, if he got prepared, he would be ready and he could do it. But at this moment, I had to be glad I wasn't that far along in my pregnancy.

"What do you mean he doesn't think he could do it?" I asked with new interest and curiosity.

Rosalie sighed. "Edward has never cared for a woman, and now he has to do that _and_ a baby. You just need to talk to him and educate him," she told me with a shrug.

"Educate him on pregnancy, women and children?" I asked incredulously.

_Well, here comes my teaching career, back at me. _

For the first time, Alice put in. "Yep, Bella, your gonna have to teach that guy how to take care of women and children." She grinned.

"So good luck," Alice and Rosalie said in sync.

I smiled and laughed, knowing they would still be there for me through the thick and thin this would bring.

And I knew that all we needed was a drastic event to change the way Edward was thinking about his abilities as a father, lover, and boyfriend.


	22. Surprise Seduction

**A little something to make your first week off of holidays better!**

BPOV

"And don't forget this," Alice called as I heard her feet on the carpeted floor behind me. I turned just as she about ran into me. "Oh, sorry!" she apologized way too loudly. I smiled, grabbing the books from her hands.

"Is all this really necessary?" I asked, as I struggled to balance them and my tote bag in my arms.

She nodded. "Totally. Now go get ready and put your teaching skills to work," she commanded. "Emmett and Jasper went out to pick up a movie for us to watch, so there will be no interruptions." She paused, wondering if she missed anything. I shifted uncomfortably. "Oh, and I'll go put all the baby stuff in your room," Alice added, when a disgusted look come across her face. "Good luck getting in there after everything we bought!" she laughed.

I scowled, thinking about all those bags, plus all the orders Alice had placed. "Yeah, fuck my life," I decided as I turned around and headed down the hall, toward the guys' room.

But I paused and turned around, catching Alice just before she disappeared into our room.

"Do you really expect me to fuck the guy and then teach him about pregnancy?" I demanded, realizing just what I had agreed to.

Alice stared at me, stony-faced, before a look of realization dawned on her and she burst into a fit of giggles. She gripped the doorframe to support herself. "Yeah!" she laughed.

Juggling the books into the crook of my left arm with my bag, I fumbled to get the key – stolen from Emmett, courtesy of Rosalie – into the lock and push open the door. During the process the top book (the classical, _What to Expect When Your Expecting_) fell at my feet, so once the door was open I just kicked it over the threshold. I ignored the cover cracking as I flipped on the nearest light. The guys' apartment was a total disaster: clothes everywhere, dishes everywhere, food everywhere. I wanted to gag – well, after the urge to clean the place top to bottom.

No, you're here for one thing, and one thing only, I thought as I manoeuvred to the stairs. Edward would be home is about half an hour, which gave me just enough time to do what I needed. I only hoped he was still feeling the heat and pressure of my little tease. That would make this all so much easier. I mean, I was only doing this so Edward wouldn't a) have any pressure weighting his thoughts, and b) to get his attention. For me, there was only a) sex is awesome.

To be fair, Edward's room wasn't much better. It had clothes laying around and magazines tossed in every direction. His grand desk was filled with loads of texts about medical stuff that I would never be able to understand. I set the books on his desk and tossed my bag on the unmade bed. Well, that definitely had to change.

By no means did this night have to be perfect for us. I would dress up for him as sexily as possible, seduce him and then educate him on what is to come. We didn't have to take it slow, start out sweet – for all I cared it could have been raw and rough, so long as I got his mind from the gutter so he could focus. That's really all I cared about, truthfully.

So I decided to play nice and picked up all the clothes around his room, stuffing them into the hamper by the door and going back to pick up the magazines. But they weren't just your normal car magazines – these were porn. Huge amounts of disgusting porn. I probably wouldn't have minded it so much if there weren't so many, if they weren't everywhere, and if they weren't girl-on-girl. "What a fucking pig," I muttered, collecting all the gross books and slipping them into my tote bag. I would burn those later. Putting the magazines in I took the lingerie out, along with the shoes Rosalie insisted on.

What my girls would do to help me out!

I stripped over my clothes from today and shoved them in my bag. Then I put on the gem-studded black bra, which pushed my boobs up to the point of slight pain, and slipped on the rest of the set, which included the standard garter belt and fishnets. Then I stuffed my feet into the peep-toed black stilettos. I then wondered into the bathroom to see what I looked like. Its nerve-wracking to see yourself looking so _out-there_, I realized. I did, actually, look hot as hell, but inside I was... nervous.

Nervous for what this night would come to. Nervous for how this would all unfold. Nervous for Edward's reaction. Nervous for how this could deter our relationship.

With a sigh I fixed my boobs to the right amount of cleavage, tightening the straps slightly for an extra boost. I was as ready as could be. As ready as ever. As I made my way back into Edward's slightly more-tidy room, I noticed he should be here any minute. I bounded over to the bed, landing in the middle of the newly-made bed and settled on my knees to prepare.

An hour later, I wondered why I did that.

What was taking him so long? I sighed, falling back on the bed with my head on the pillow. This sucks, I thought. Majorly. Where the hell is that guy? I sat up, my mood already in the soles of my uncomfortable shoes, and grabbed the phone on his nightstand. Obviously I couldn't rely on him to be getting back any time soon.

I dialled his cell phone number.

His voice was oddly lazy with a hint of irritation. "Hello?"

"Hey, where are you?" I demanded, trying to keep the irritation from my own voice. I mean, it wasn't his fault he wasn't back at his apartment because he didn't know there was a reason to be.

But sometimes he had to realize that at seven o'clock on a Wednesday night, he should be home.

"Oh, I, uh, am at the bar," Edward admitted quietly, reluctantly. I raised my eyebrows and sighed. He was at a bar? What _kind_ of bar...?

"A strip bar?" I demanded, sitting up.

He better not say it, he better not say it, he better not say it...I would drop him on his ass if he said yes.

But instead, he laughed. "Of course not, Bella," he said easily. "I'm just out with the guys. Why?"

I let out a sigh of relief, mentally thanking the beautiful Gods that Edward had so sense of no temptation. I grinned into the phone again, feeling oddly giddy with excitement. It had to be some kind of sign – if not just a small, minimal one – that he wasn't at a strip club or out with other women. Could that be a step-up for him?

"We need to talk," I said immediately, which, technically speaking, wasn't a lie.

"Oh, right," Edward said, slightly hesitant. "Um, okay, I'll be home in a few, I guess. Where are you right now?"

A smile took over my face. Oh, you'll see soon, big boy. Instead of answering him I said, "I'll be over in twenty minutes."

"Okay, I'll see you then."

He may have not been too excited about this, but I knew that would turn upside down when he walked in through the door.

EPOV

I don't think she was being persistent or possessive – I felt more like she had something up her sleeve. That's what she sounded like, like she was hiding something.

_Great, don't tell me she's having twins! _

Hanging up the phone I set it back down on the counter in front of me. I sighed, rubbing my face, hoping Bella would be kind enough to relieve the pressure I'd been having all day. Nearly the whole day I had been sporting something stiff because of the tease that girl pulled on me, and nothing could get rid of it. Maybe she would take pity on me for what I had to stand today, realized a number of guys at work noticed and teased me about it. Hell, I also told a few the actual story behind it.

Even they took pity on me!

The guys that were aware of my problem were also in the know of the casual sex, which out them in an odd, surprised position when they found out I was in an actual relationship and about to be a father.

Yeah, I got a lot of pity.

"I gotta go," I announced, standing from the bar but downing the rest of my beer.

"Bella?" Mike guessed, and I met several curious eyes.

I groaned, "Yeah."

They all laughed at my reaction and bid goodbyes before I made my way from the building. Hopefully I wouldn't always be pulled from my friends because of Bella. That was yet another thing I was going to have to give up: Going out. That was really going to suck because it was part of my daily routine.

Making my way from the bar and to my beloved Volvo was harder than I thought it would be, but I guess there was some alcohol back at the apartment. Maybe after a few then I could go to Bella's apartment and have this talk she wanted so badly. Great, my favourite thing. Long conversations with insanely vicious women. Now I really shouldn't deserve to have that much fun...

But honestly, I'd never had a real conversation with any women about anything. Two years ago I'd been "seeing" a woman named Mandy and I had frequent conversations with her, but it was more about our BDSM relationship, which only lasted for a week because she couldn't understand the relationship of Dom with sub. And I let her go easily because there hadn't been the most of pleasure there. That was something I didn't really feel keen to telling Bella, as well as the fact I had been doing to same thing with Tonya – that whole pleasure from pain. Tonya and I had had a very active relationship, which was also _very_ good.

I knew I could never tell Bella that, because at this point it seemed wrong. Of course there was nothing wrong with sexual experimenting, but I think the whole Tonya-was-like-my-submissive would not go over too well with her. I knew I would keep it a secret as long as possible from her.

What could she want to talk about, I wondered as our building came into view. What did I do wrong? I could admit I certainly had mood swings – on some days I felt like I loved her sweetly, and others I just didn't want to talk to anyone – but had I really affected her much with that shit? I probably could have acted a little happier around her, but I was drowning in the fact I didn't know what to do with a baby. How do you hold a child? How do you feed one? Can I give it a chocolate bar and let it be happy while I fuck my girlfriend? Was that even a reliable thing?

Damn, I thought. I'm gonna kill my baby.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck..." I muttered as I pulled the keys from the ignition. I walked toward the building in a haze, still trying to figure out what I was going to do about this.

What if I dropped it? What if I forget about it and leave it in some critical condition by accident? And what if I left it on the couch and it feel off and died? Would Bella leave me because of that? Oh – what if I left it in the bathtub and forgot about it and it drowned? What would happen then?

The one thing I had to remember was the fact all my questions started with "what if" and not "when."

All my questions had me in a blank haze and I was unlocking the door to my apartment. All the lights were on but there was no sign of Jasper or Emmett. Obviously they each had a hot date with their girls. So far Bella and I only had our first date, but I guess our trip to the amusement park could count, though Bella was minimal fun. But no matter how much of a hardass she is, I thought as I climbed the stairs to my room, eager to get out of these scrubs, I could still subject to the high number of our going outs.

But like it really mattered, I reasoned as I twisted the doorknob to my bedroom, briefly wondering why I'd closed it in the first place. I mean, it didn't really matter if we—

The thought was long gone from my head as I gazed at the most beautiful sight before me.

BPOV

I had the pleasure of watching Edward's mouth drop open as he opened the door to his room. I couldn't help but feel slightly smug and want to thank Alice for her...generosity. I'd taken off the shoes and stuffed them back in my bag awhile ago because of how uncomfortable they were. I felt more serene kneeling on his bed without them on. At this point I just wanted to fuck him and get it done with; I still needed to teach him how to be a dad.

"Come here, Edward," I enticed when he didn't move or say anything for too long of a time. Come on! If the guy lived on sex, why hadn't he already stripped me of my clothing and started pounding into me yet? I watched closely as his chest rose and feel with his hard breaths, which only seemed to make me smile. I was surprised me, of all people in this world, could get this kind of reaction from him. "Edward?" I asked innocently, running the tips of my fingers over my pushed up and over-exposed breast. "Come here."

As if something clicked in his mind – like the fact a woman is sitting on his bed half-naked – he fumbled to slip off his shirt and jump on the bed in front of me. His eyes were wide as he kneeled in front of me in anticipation. I giggled slightly at his already-hard dick creating a tent in his scrubs.

"What brought this on?" he breathed, his eyes zeroing in on my nearly-painful cleavage. I smiled slightly at how horny this guy could get.

"Less talk," I told him, "more kissing."

He didn't even hesitate to crash his lips against mine urgently, slowly building the fire between us, his hands settling on my hips and sending shivers of pleasure up my spine. My lips instantly parted for his tongue as we continued in harsher, faster patterns, flaming the fire in my belly. His hands roamed over my slightly covered thighs as he pressed his front to mine, his legs spreading mine wider and settling in between mine. I shifted my hips forward so I was straddling his legs while he was in his knees. It was an awkward position, but it only turned me on more.

With his hands on my hips he began moving me against his erection, trying to gain the right friction for his pleasure. The need for air was making me lightheaded so I pulled back with raged breaths and Edward's lips attached to my neck, sucking hard enough to leave a mark under my ear. I dragged my nails up his hard, flat abs, eliciting a moan from deep in his throat as he raked his teeth over my sensitive skin. I shuddered under his touch, losing myself into what he was doing.

I knew Edward wasn't one to waste time in getting into a woman's pants, but for some reason he was taking his time as he undressed me, covering my newly bare skin with his; caressing, kissing over every inch of my skin softly, working me slowly to being ready for him. I'd always thought he him as someone how would whip off his pants if I'd whipped of mine – not like a man whore, but just an eager man. And I had no problem with that, but I did, however, have problems with the feelings that stirred inside of me.

Our bodies, tangled in limbs, wrapped and grinding, fell on our sides as we continued to kiss. "Edward, now," I breathed, my heart beating loudly in my ears. I felt him smile against my lips as he sat back in between my legs.

"Are you sure?" he asked, voice rough with lust and need. I knew he wouldn't be of kind words or thoughts if I said no.

"Yes."

It was all he needed as he trust his hips forward, meeting me as his cock was inside me. I breathily gasped, reaching up to weave my fingers in the soft golden hair at his neck as he stilled inside me. Pulling his face down to my lips, only inches, I whispered, "Make me forget my own name." His luscious green eyes locked on mine as his hips pulled back, creating an empty feeling inside me, and when he pushed back inside me my eyes rolled back in my head. He felt so _good!_

Our lisp were like magnets, attached with so much force as our bodies continued to rock against each other. It wasn't at all a fast tempo, but slow and building. It wasn't the "rough fucks" we'd had many times before. This was like...kinder love-making. It was wrong to think that we were in love because I was still trying to fond where he stood on my list. It was rumoured of his feelings for me, but I didn't know for sure. That was probably something else we needed to discuss and get out of the way.

He continued to move inside of me, slowly adding to the warm fire burning in my belly. Wanting to help him along, I put my lips on his neck, sucking on the smooth skin and moaning into his ear. A deep growl rippled in his chest as his pace quickened, my nails dipping into his lower back with his forehead resting in the crook of my neck. I struggled to get my hips to match his rhythm, but once we were rocking together, the most amazing feeling came over me as I came around him. He instantly unloaded inside me, which made me guess that it had been caused by my own.

I couldn't help but smile as Edward fell into me, laying over my chest as he breathed heavily into my neck, my fingers running through his hair. I tried to regulate my own breathing as I gently shoved his shoulder, indicating that he needed to move before I would no longer be able to breathe again.

"Sorry, babe," he mumbled, rolling off and out of me and crashed down on the bed. I smiled down at him, but his eyes were closed so he didn't see it and didn't look up as I hoped off the bed. Side-stepping all my discarded lingerie, I went to his closet without looking back at him. "Bella!" he called lazily while I slipped on one of his black and red flannel button-downs and a pair of his boxers. The shirt was so long that the boxers didn't show underneath.

Strolling out of the closet, I rolled up the sleeves and buttoned up a few of the buttons enough to show some but not much.

Edward whistled, partly covered by the sheets of his bed and propped up on his elbows. "Sexy," he drawled, eyeing the cleavage.

I rolled my eyes, but honestly, I would have whistled if I could. "Right back at ya," I said instead as I started to the desk.

"What are you doing, Bella?" Edward sighed, seeming slightly irritated that I wasn't back in bed with him.

Without a single word I grabbed the stack of books and walked back over to the bed, jumping on and settling on my knees. He eyed me, slightly seductive and confused.

I smiled at him in what I hoped looked slightly evil. "Okay, now its time to get to work," I told him.

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**Review!**

**-Mickey**


	23. Lessons

**Enjoy, all!

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BPOV

_"Okay, now its time to get to work," I told him._

He looked at me blankly, from the books to my face to my stomach and back again. The clueless look on his face was absolutely adorable, and for once I felt like my life wasn't so hard and this man wasn't a bit of a prick sometimes. I reached my index finger up to smooth the crease between his eyebrows.

"I didn't ask you to solve a math equation, Edward," I teased. "So calm down and stop being so childishly confused." I slapped my hand over the top pregnancy book. "This is your research," I told him. "You need to be educated about this stuff, okay?"

A hand reached up as he scratched the back of his head, still utterly confused. "On what, exactly?" he asked slowly. Then a look dawned on his face and he shook his head quickly. "Wait! Why are we even doing this? We _just_ had sex and I'm so not done with you." An evil twinkle glinted in his eyes.

I rolled mine, smirking slightly. "No," I said with finality. "Maybe later, but for now you need to learn about what's happening." I paused, looking down at the top book. "These are going to help you learn what's going on both inside my body and out, about all the trimesters and all that fun stuff." I smiled at his shocked and incredulous expression. He definitely was _not_ expecting this turn of events.

"But why?" he whined, pressing his head back into the puffy pillow under his head. "I want to have sex!" His voice mumbled against the pillow, but I could still hear how childish he sounded.

"Calm your testosterone," I chided teasingly. "I'm staying the night, so just chill out." I picked up the first book and plopped it on his bare back, making him groan. "I want you to read this one first. It covers everything."

This was a long shot, the idea that I had, but I needed to try anything at this point. We couldn't subject our child to a misled father – I knew how bad that could be – and if that meant making a good-looking god actually read a book, so be it. Well, I hoped Edward had read before. He didn't really look like the type to actually do that kind of activity.

Well he was about to learn to grow some independence.

Edward shook the book off, turning under the blankets to lay on his back and picked up the book. "Why do I have to do this?" he asked, pouting like a child trying to persuade his parents.

I sighed, looking down at my hands. "Edward," I began sullenly, "I know your never going to tell me, but I knew your scared about this. I know you didn't...or don't...want it, but I'm not about to let you fall through the imaginary cracks of fatherhood. Just admit that your scared or having second thoughts about this. I know its true, so don't even try to hide it." I looked up at his face, reading his expression carefully.

Was he ashamed?

When he didn't response, I gently prodded, "Edward?"

His eyes focused. "Bella, how do you know that?"

"Its true," I whispered. I wondered if the truth was behind that he was scared or if he didn't want to have a baby. But it really had little effect because this baby would come if we were ready or not.

"I _am_ scared," he mumbled, looking down at the cover. "Terrified. But I didn't want you to know. Its embarrassing." As he looked down at his lap that held the book, I felt a wave of sympathy.

Setting a hand on his should, I said, "You shouldn't be embarrassed for being human. Do you really think that men are just born ready for a baby?" I answered my own question. "Of course not. It takes time, but I'm just going to help push you forward."

He looked up and smiled, kissing me quickly on the cheek. I'd never seen him so sweet and natural; it seemed that he always tried to cover up the real him around me, like I wasn't actually talking to him but someone that looked like him. I wished he would be himself round me more often and even shown me some affection.

But I knew I couldn't expect that so soon. He needed time, and I could give that to him. I hoped.

"Bella, we have one more problem," he said slowly, looking up at me with something like amusement. At least there was no doubt there anymore. I nodded, without any words to say. Oh, no, what could be wrong now? I could only pray that it wouldn't be effecting to our future together. Edward grinned at my worried expression. "I've never read a book in my life," he laughed.

I burst into a fit of giggles, knowing it could have been worse. At least we were only talking about his educational weakness and not something that would impact our future. For now we would be okay, we would survive.

"Well, that's not a problem," I told him. "You'll learn. I am an English teacher." I paused as a sudden wave of sadness hit me. "Well, I was," I said as nonchalantly as possible.

"Well your just gonna have to help me," Edward said quickly, trying to distract me from my dull thoughts.

Rolling my eyes, I slapped the cover of the book that sat on his lap before picking it up. "Get dressed," I commanded. "We're not fooling around for awhile so I think a few items of clothing will do you good." He frowned but slipped on the boxers lying beside the bed.

"Okay, let's do this," he said with as much conviction as possible. I knew he was far from excited or sure about this, but it was the only thing I could think of.

Surely I didn't want to make this like a quiz for him – he's a doctor—he should be able to pass it, though – but what else was there. If relied on him to read them and he _didn't_...well, we would have some problems.

"Edward, what are you scared of?" I asked quietly, sitting across him him.

"Taking care of a baby," he said carefully, avoiding my eyes, "possibly killing it. Um...your hormones practically killing _me_." I laughed loudly, giggling at what he'd been thinking. "And the birth..." he wrinkled his nose. "Yeah, the labour part looks and sounds pretty scary and gross. I don't think I can be there." He was being serious.

My face felt frozen in shock. "But Edward, I can't do it alone!" I snapped, panicked. No, I could never give birth alone! I couldn't be all by myself in that room, doing all that...stuff...The only thing to calm my racing heart was Edward's slight chuckle.

"I didn't say I'm not," he said calmly, soothing. "I said I don't think I can, but I'm going to try. So long as they have drugs for the support team."

I laughed, shaking my head, despite my near heart attack. Of course, only Edward Cullen couldn't be serious for long.

"Do you even know what happens in the first trimester of pregnancy?" I asked seriously, cocking my head to the side as I plopped the book back on his lap. "There's your first question."

"Hmm," he hummed, looking down at the book. "I really don't have any clue."

"Guess."

He sighed with a look of concentration on his face. "The only one I got is hormones," he admitted matter-of-factly. I shook my head in disappointment. "What?" he demanded, sounding frustrated. "How am I supposed to know?" His voice was rising. "I'm going to fail as a fucking father, so what's it matter?" Edward fell back on the bed, covering his face with his hands.

Why could I never speak to him civilly, without him getting all "boo-hoo" about fatherhood? Couldn't he just suck it up like every other guy? "You know, you really put my teaching skills to shame," I teased half-heartedly.

His hands moved slightly so I could see his eyes. He was not impressed. "That is so not funny, Bella," he snapped, covering his face again.

"Its also not funny that I'm having a child with a child," I shot back, scowling at him though he couldn't see me. "Can you please be serious? If you don't smarten up then you can do this by yourself and I won't even consider helping you," I threatened.

"Number one, I'm not a read-type of person." His voice was muffled by his hands and I strained to hear him, all the while making faces at him. "And number two...I thought I had a girlfriend, not another mother," he grumbled.

With much more force then was needed, I hit him on the back with my fist and plopped the book on the new red spot that marked his skin. All I was doing was trying to help him so he wouldn't feel so clueless or confused, and yet here he was being a total ass. Why couldn't he make an effort like I was? All I wanted to do was help, and he couldn't even cooperate.

My patients for this man was running very slowly and it wouldn't be long until I just snapped totally. Or even slightly.

"Edward, do you want to be with me or not?" I demanded forcefully, serious. He peeked up at me through his fingers."I am tired of playing this game with you, going back and forth, I want this then I don't. I want to be with you, I want to try and make this all work, but I can't if your just going to complain." My voice was rising and I was surprised at how more authority was in it. "No, sex doesn't fix anything – its not going to help me stand living in a house with you, its not going to take care of our baby. I'm sick and _tired_ of playing the Yes or No game – do you want to be with me or not?"

I stood from the bed, feeling anger boil up in me. We needed our space and quick, before I let him have it.

"You need to grow up," I snapped, picking up my bag and setting it on the bed as I slipped in the lingerie pieces that had been discarded. "I'm not going to have _anything_ to ever do with you if you don't smarten up and tough it out; no chance in hell will I ever allow my child to be influenced by you. Make up your fucking mind because I'm not about to carry your weight." By the time I finished, I'd packed all my things up and Edward was sitting, totally dazed.

He stopped me as I headed for the door. "I thought you were going to stay the night," he objected.

I sighed. "Edward," I said, turning around, trying to force a light tone. It wasn't working so well. "Make up your mind. I don't come alone. This baby is a part of me in more ways than one. Pick what you want and call me."

With that, I left the room and headed home in his boxers.

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**Ohh...Reviews?!**


	24. Commitment

**Two updates in one day, I'm so proud! This one is pretty short, though!**

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BPOV

I didn't think I was being too hard on him. I mean, didn't it make sense? A baby couldn't be raised in an incapable home with a mislead parent. I'd lived like that, and it wasn't pleasant. But if I didn't lay down the law with Edward, nothing good would come of it. He needed to start walking the right line.

Unlocking the door of the apartment, I was greeted with the loud sounds of laughing, both familiar and not. I dumped my stuff in the entryway and went to investigate what the commotion was.

Rose, Alice, Jasper and Emmett were watching The Hangover. I laughed immediately as I replayed that movie in my head. Best. Movie. Ever.

"Bella, I thought you were staying the night over there," Alice said, standing immediately with a worried look on her face. "Did something happen?" By this time we had everyone's attention. Well, I did.

"No," I said nonchalantly, shrugging. "Edward needs to get his head on straight, and I don't mean his dick. I physically mean his _head_." Emmett laughed loudly, obviously finding too much humour in this. I didn't want to know what he was probably thinking. "I left him with all the books and time to think with no distractions."

Alice nodded and sat down, getting caught up in the movie again. I decided to join them, but it didn't feel the same. I remembered having these movie nights – usually during the week, when we would then bail from work the next day – but it always involved an amount of alcohol. But I couldn't have that stuff now, and I didn't think I'd be so depressed about the fact of this. But that wouldn't be the only I would be missing.

After The Hangover Emmett popped in The Final Destination. Alice, Rosalie and I went to see it in the theatres when it first came out, and even though it was an awesome movie it was also really gory. If the amusement park hadn't trigger my morning sickness, maybe this would.

I think it was a close call with the sickness because it was worse then I remembered. The graphics were so _good_ and gross at once. All that blood was somewhat believable and did make me pretty nauseous. Alice naturally squealed at all those sickening parts while Emmett laughed like the manly guy he is.

I had no idea that they had a whole movie night planed until we'd gotten through two more movies and were at the fifth. It was the latest Transformers movie. I knew this was my time to leave, not to mention the fact it was two in the morning. "Okay, its my bed time," I announced, standing and grabbing one of the green bowls of popcorn. "And this is coming with me."

As I started for the stairs there was a knock on the door, loud and urgent. I cast a quick glance at the others, who all returned my surprise and confusion. "Who the hell would be here at this time of morning?" I muttered, setting the bowl down and starting for the door. Whoever it was was not a patient person.

I opened the door. "Edward?" I asked in shock, which quickly turned to anger. Did he have a bad mind filter?

"Mood swings, fatigue and morning sickness," he said flatly, like he was reciting something. I stared at him in confusion. "Fatigue and morning sickness work through the second trimester and the third. Well, so does the mood swings. Your gonna be a bit a bitch," he told me.

For the comment I would have slammed the door in his face, but what he'd said finally registered with me. I finally understood what he'd been talking about and why.

"You read about the first trimester."

Edward nodded seriously. "You told me to, and in case you forgot, I also answered your question."

"I did," I whispered, nodding my head all a little dazed.

He held out his hand. "Why don't you come back to my place?"

We made it like a "study date" from that day on. I went to his place at night or he came to mine after work, and once we'd at least gotten off once, we were free to read through the books without a lot of sexual tension. By the end of the first week we'd gotten through one of them, skipping over the sex parts to spare Edward more pressure, and I could tell he was beginning to feel it more. He'd looked so frightened before and admitted to how scared he was about this, but within that week he was looking more confident. I don't know what kind of change I expected, but I had expected a big one. He was even showing me affection. It was weird to say the least.

We actually seemed more like a couple.

Edward and I had yet to talk about the whole moving in together thing, though. I didn't see why he wouldn't want to because he seemed more head-over-heels than ever before. Edward was also talking to my stomach a lot. Sometimes even more then he spoke to me! But I took what I got. I knew he was finally feeling the bright-side of what was to come in a few months.

I wanted badly to know his change of heart, but he wouldn't tell me. But whatever it was, I'd never been so grateful to it. Edward continuously told me he loved me – _loved me!_ How was that possible? He'd told me before, he claimed it before, but so had I. We'd both been naive. I wasn't believing it this time around either.

"There's an afterbirth?" Edward demanded, a mix of outrage and shock with some disgust. I laughed, holding my stomach through the vibrations. He'd been doing so good, but there were these times when he was completely clueless. As I started to sober up, he asked, "But what if your having one baby, though?"

Tears were running down my cheeks as I laughed, finding too much humour in his stupidity.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up," he muttered, setting the book down and setting his hand on my stomach. "I really hope you don't get your mother's sense of humour," he told our baby. My mouth dropped as the vibrations stopped and I reached out the hit him in the arm.

"Edward!" I snapped. "What the hell? This baby will be lucky to inherit anything from me!" I pouted, crossing my arms. I did have a comeback to that, but I knew it would land us in a fight so I didn't bother.

He smiled innocently.

I sighed. "Edward, can I ask you something?"

His face immediately softened like he was persuading me with his eyes. Another change that had happened to Edward. "Yeah, sure. What is it?" he asked.

I laughed humourlessly. "What gave you this change of heart?" He gave me a confused look, so I added, "Before you were so insecure about this whole thing, like I was just dragging you along and you didn't want this. And _now_!..." I drifted, laughing as I shook my head. "Your so damn happy about it, it seems!"

Edward bit his lip guiltily. "Well I didn't want to tell you," he said quietly, "but there's this lady, Mary, at the hospital." I nodded for him to continue when he paused. "She died the other night, and I was pretty close to her." He was avoiding my eyes now. "Before she died I was talking to Mike in her room. We knew it was only a matter of time before she, well, died. We were talking about you and the baby." The struggled for words was all over his face as he stopped, rubbing a hand over his face.

If anything I always thought he would be the one to comfort me, but I knew he needed me for the first time now. I set my hand on his back, rubbing lightly and encouraging him. "Keep going, Edward."

He sniffled but there were no tears. "Long story short, she told me about her life when she was younger. Her kids, her husband, all of it. And...I don't know, it made me feel something."

I half-laughed. "And its bad to feel emotions?" I asked gently, a slight joking edge.

"No," he said, struggling. "I was just unfamiliar with what it felt like to be in love. Like _actually_ in love, Bella. And then the whole baby thing...she made it sound so _cool_." I smiled at his choice of words.

"You don't love me," I said gently, stroking his hair. It wasn't possible yet.

"Yes I do," he said with such a force of conviction, I thought I was blown back. "I know I do. I love you, Bella. I really do. I don't care if she don't because you will eventually. Just give it time."

I smiled wider. "I plan to fall in love with you," I admitted. "But I don't what to rush it. Just be patient, Edward. Things will fall into place if they're meant to be."

"They are, Bella."

"They're falling into place or they are meant to be?"

Edward grinned, his eyes twinkled with the emotion he'd just shared. "Both."

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**Hmm, a little secret to everyone...next Bella will be meeting the parents _as _Edward's girlfriend. Should be interesting. Review, everyone!**

**-Mickey**


	25. Second Meeting

**This is a very long chapter compared to the past ones of Lost and Gained! **

BPOV

I poked the hard skin again, amazed that I hadn't noticed it before. At four months I was finally showing and even though it went me into excitement waves, I didn't like the way my clothing looked. The worst part was that I wasn't even that far along. It was nothing but a small bump settled in between my hips. My clothes could really look funny and sometimes made me look like a production of a funhouse mirror.

"Hey," Rosalie said, walking into my bathroom. "How's it going?"

"Well, I look and feel like a whale," I laughed, smoothing my T-shirt over the bulge. "It just feels so weird."

She smiled. "I bet," she agreed quietly. "So, um, Edward's here now. Are you ready for this?" she asked softly.

Drawing in a deep breath I nodded, too fast for it to be convincing. "It shouldn't be that hard," I said as simply as possible. "I've met them before."

"Yeah, but you were my best friend then. Now your Edward's girlfriend, and he _never_ had girlfriends, Bella. This is a big step for him."

That was understandable. I'd met Esme and Carlisle many times before because of Rose's and my relationship, but I had to meet them as Edward's parents and me as Edward's girlfriend. Apparently, they still didn't know it was me that he was dating, which would only make me more worrisome.

"Can you send him up?" I asked. "I need to ask him something." She nodded, leaving me alone in the bathroom.

I was incredibly nervous for this. Meeting the Cullen parents as Edward's girlfriend was so different then just being Rosalie's best friend. And I was so scared, I thought I would throw up my breakfast. Edward and I had yet to get our "story" straight before going to meet them for lunch, and we had to decide if we wanted to tell them about the baby. Either I could wear this tight shirt or I needed to put a sweater over top.

But it wasn't like it would be that simple to just pretend I wasn't really pregnant. I barely had any morning sickness – which I had worried was not a good thing, but Dr. Newton said it was common – and I barely had an appetite. Plus Esme had some kind of sixth sense, just like Alice, though they weren't related, and I'd be surprised if she _didn't_ know.

As I heard his footsteps approaching, I turned around and held out my arms, like I was showcasing myself. "Well?" I asked.

"Bella, let's not play the do-I-look-fat-in-this game," he begged. "I've read about and I don't like the sounds of it, either."

I sighed impatiently. "No," I snapped, "are we telling your parents about this," I moved my hand around my stomach, "or not?"

Edward pretended to glance at his watch. "Okay, hormone time," he said. I scowled at him, turning back toward the mirror to finish getting ready. He walked up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and hugging my back to his chest. I just shook my head, ignoring him completely as I fixed my curled hair. "I say we tell them," he decided easily, not noticed how mad I was at him. "Mom will be happy. I think."

"Oh, jeez, that makes me feel so much better!" I snapped, pushing his arms off of me and walking back into my bedroom. Certainly it wasn't him I was angered at, but he was the nearest person to get that load of emotion I was letting out.

Sometimes I wished he just wasn't so clueless.

"Bella?" Edward asked, his warning voice turned on. "What's going on with you? Your so...grumpy?"

"I am not grumpy!" I snapped, my voice too high for my words to have the right effect. He cracked a smile, unaffected. "Whatever," I huffed, grabbing my purse from my bed and heading for the door. I could feel, if not _hear_, Edward following behind me. I still wasn't at the point of loving him, sometimes I just felt like I was babysitter for a grown man. As he started to loosen to the fact of being a father and being in love with me – which I hardly acknowledged – I started to realize how much of a real kid he is.

Not overly did I mind much, but sometimes he could be slightly more mature. And think things through a little more.

So whether he liked it or not, his parents would know by the end of lunch that they would be grandparents.

_Grandparents_.

I sighed. So would my mom and dad, and they didn't even know yet. I hadn't even talked to my dad in months and my mom in longer. Certainly I would have to get on that any day now.

"Bye," Rosalie said, giving me a quick hug and giving me a huge smile. "Have fun and good luck. Are you telling them?" she asked, setting a hand on my stomach.

Ignoring Edward's quickened breath, I nodded. "Yes."

Her smile widened. "I'm sure they'll be excited," she reassured me softly, then hugged me again and added, "Everything will go great."

"I hope," I muttered, casting a glance over my shoulder at Edward. Rose followed my gaze, smiling slightly, nodding. "Bye," I sighed with a roll of my eyes.

"See ya." She turned to Edward and reached up to pat him on the head. He groaned, slapping her hand away. "Bye, Edward," she said, somewhat smugly.

I laughed as I grabbed my jacket that was hanging on the back of a chair and headed for the door. Edward was right behind me, snickering at something that I didn't know. I scowled over my shoulder at him.

"Okay, Bella, what's going on with you?" he demanded.

Pushing open the door at the bottom of the stairs I stormed out into the wind. It was pretty chilly outside in Seattle. I sighed, turning around to face him and crossed my arms over my chest.

"I'm sorry, okay?" I snapped, my voice falling flat. I felt like I was just telling him what he wanted to hear. "I'm scared and I'm frustrated and I'm worried about what your parents will think about us. What are we even going to say? That I was suffering from a broken heart so I fucked the nearest guy I could and I got pregnant from it? Something tells me that's now going to go over well."

He seemed troubled by what I said. "My parents aren't like that – you should know that, you've met them before. Its just going to be different this time. Plus, we don't have to tell them that we're having a baby." Edward also started to favour _we_ and _us_ when referring to the baby.

I just shook my head. "Let's just go," I said hastily, turning around to walk toward the parking lot and to space his silver Volvo sat in. I didn't know if he was following or not, but I also didn't care much. Some things I couldn't get over and others I just couldn't wrap my head around. This was one that involved both concepts.

The ride to the restaurant was completely silent and uncomfortable. I knew I was pretty much the only one at fault here, the only one that did something wrong and continued to snap at the other. But I would prolong this on Edward as long as I could, whatever _this_ was. We pulled up to one of the restaurants the girls and I always frequented in Seatlle, and as I was about to get out Edward grabbed hold of my wrist.

"What?" I groaned, tugging on my arm.

"Bella, I'm asking because I care. What is up your ass?" he demanded, sounding irritated and annoyed.

I sighed, pulling at my hand, which he let go quickly, and went to open the door. But he pressed the lock button before I got the chance. I knew if I pressed unlock this would become a very bemusing game. "Fine," I said stubbornly. "Your annoying the fuck out of me."

"I haven't even done anything!" he objected. "All I did was show up and then get snapped at. I could say the same thing to you."

Great. Now we were fighting. Usually I would never give up in a situation like this, but I didn't have it in me to fight. I was tired and achy and pretty damn miserable. I mean, I certainly hadn't hit that morning sickness stage – I'd pretty much bypassed it, actually – but I didn't have that big appetite yet. To me, lunch seemed so pointless.

Giving up, I said, "Whatever. Can we just go now?"

"My parents will notice if there's tension between us," he said, his voice melting back to a softer tone.

"Well..." I sighed in frustration. "I'm sorry then, okay? I didn't mean to piss you off." My hand slapped over my forehead, my am resting against the glass.

Edward sighed, too. "You didn't piss me off," he said. "I just wanted to know why you were so...grumpy today. That's all." He leaned over the consol and kissed my cheek. "I love you," he reminded.

I sighed. I hated that I couldn't say it, but I just wasn't ready and I don't think I even felt it. "I love...the cheeseburgers here," I replied, patting his cheek as I unlocked my door, opening it and stepping out. I peeked back in at Edward's shocked expression. "You coming?" From what I could see, he looked kind of dazed as he slid from the front seat and stalked over to me. His face was unreadable, but I think he was kind of _amused_.

His arm wove around my waist and he pulled me closer to him. "Very funny," he whispered. The laugh that escaped my mouth couldn't have been stopped. "You think its funny?" he asked, his own amusement in his voice. "I really thought you were going to say it."

"Sorry, not yet." I shrugged as I pulled him for the door. "But don't mope over it. Esme can really pick up on that crap."

"Yeah, I know," he laughed, wrapping his hand tighter around mine. As Edward was about to open the door for me, like the gentleman he is, I noticed the black Mercedes parked in front of the restaurant. They were already here.

I can do this, I thought as anxiety crept up on me. Nothing will go wrong. We stepped inside the restaurant and a gust of warm air hit my face. I sighed, my throat tightening. I guess I was frightened about what they would say about the pregnancy – that was my main concern. Stopping Edward in his tracks toward the back, I gripped his collar and pulled his face down to mine. "We met in a coffee shop and you gave me your number. We went on a date before you led me back to your place to have your wicked way with me. Now we're pregnant. Are we clear?" I hissed in his ear.

Edward pulled back, giving me a confused look. "Um, yeah, sure."

"Good." I gestured in front of us, taking a deep breath. "Lead the way," I said as he started to pull me to the booths in the back. I tried not to look around before we would come face to face with them. It was also surprisingly hard to keep my hand off my stomach; I didn't want them to find out like this. I wanted to physically tell them.

I was almost half hidden by Edward's body when he stopped.

"Edward!" I recognized Esme's voice immediately, so soft and sweet, filled with excitement now. Edward released my hand to embrace his mother. I watched, finding myself smiling at them both. I'd never seen Edward in a family environment and now that I finally got the chance, I was really beginning to enjoy it. Esme's brown hair cascaded down her back softly, a total different contrast to Edward's bronze hair.

"Hey, Mom." He laughed at her eagerness, glancing over her shoulder at me. "Where's Dad?"

"He got called into the hospital back in Forks. He's sorry he can't be here, but...," she said quickly, obviously too excited to see Edward. Where they close? I wondered. He'd never really spoke about them. "So how have to been?"

It was overly amusing that Esme hadn't taken attention to me.

Edward just laughed, extracting himself from her mother's arms and gesturing to me. Esme turned around and her eyes grew wide. I think Edward was about to say something, but Esme's squeal cut him off. Her arms were around me seconds, so fast that my knees almost buckled.

"Oh my God, Bella, I haven't seen you in so long!"

I struggled to breath. "Hi Esme, how are you?" I asked breathily, laughing to myself.

"Oh, I'm so good!" she squealed, bouncing with her arms around me. I think she has more in common with Alice then some seem to think. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

Edward and I burst out laughing at the same time, and I found myself clutching to hold myself up. Didn't she think it made sense that I was here at the same time as her son, who was date-less when he wasn't supposed to be?

"Mom," Edward stepped forward, "Bella is my girlfriend," he told her.

"Really?" She seemed astonished. Her eyes flickered between us both as Edward wrapped an arm around my waist, setting it on my hip and stroking the side of my stomach. Esme's brow furrowed as she watched the movement, and I could almost see the wheels turning in her head. "Wow," she breathed. "I did _not_ expect that!"

***

After Esme got over her shock of seeing me as Edward's new girlfriend, she was all for dishing out the stories. Of course Edward and I never really talked about when we were kids and all that – because we were slowly starting to unwind around each other – so I found this as a good insight to Edward Cullen's perverted mind. While Esme talked animatedly Edward stared at her, somewhat in horror, at the stories she told. I'm sorry if he didn't think its funny that he got so drunk at New Year's Eve when he was fifteen in New York City, that he ran through Time's Square completely naked when the ball dropped.

This guy needs a better sense of humour.

Esme exhaled after her retell of that New Year's Eve. "So, Bella, what are you doing now?" she asked as she glanced at the menu. We'd held off on the whole food thing to just talk, which was mostly centered around the gang here in Seattle and Edward, but when the subject changed to me, I was frightened for what questions that would entail.

"I, um, was an English teacher, but its just getting to hard to keep up with," I said, beating around what I was trying to say. Edward squeezed my thigh, which was dangerously close to my core. It was a comforting gesture, but his next words made me want to kick him in the face.

"She quit," he told her.

I turned to him sharply. "Thank you, Edward, for the clarification." My voice was just as sharp.

"Why did you quit?" Esme asked curiously.

I struggled with what to say. To be honest, I didn't know the truth myself. "I, um, was just finding that it wasn't really what I wanted," I lied.

The waiter came at that time and I was grateful for the distraction. I glanced at the menu and even the usual didn't seem so appealing. In fact, I wasn't even very hungry at the moment. I folded the menu back up and handed it to the waiter. "I'll just have a diet coke," I told him. He nodded in response.

The waiter was about to turn around when Edward stopped him. "Um, no," he said. "She will have a cheeseburger with that and fries." My mouth dropped at his pushiness, but he didn't take it back. "And a Coke, too," he added.

With an odd glance from the waiter as he wrote this down, he started off toward the kitchen and I hit Edward in the arm.

"What the hell was that for?" I demanded, forgetting about Esme's presence.

"You have to eat," he reminded me casually, unaffected by my tone. Edward glanced at Esme, who gave Edward a confused smile, also somewhat amused. "You made me read the books and you need to gain weight. You need to add some more curve to these hips." He gestured to my body.

Despite what he'd just did and said, my mouth dropped open, holding a half smile.

"Edward!" Esme snapped, the smile in her voice. He looked at her shamelessly. "Watch your attitude, or else you won't have a girlfriend for much longer." I smiled at her gratefully. "And I think Bella looks fine."

"Yeah, I know she does. You should see her naked," Edward advised, and both my and Esme's mouths dropped open until our jaws hit the floor. He did _not_ just say that. _Oh yes, he really did_, my mind told me. Fuck. "But she needs to gain weight."

I kicked his ankle under the table, but it didn't affect him. "I do not," I hissed quietly. "I'm fine."

"No, your not," he said, turning to me and letting those deep eyes melt into my mind. "We've spent months going over these books so don't give me that shit. I know what I'm talking about."

As I opened my mouth to tell him that he didn't in fact know what he was talking about, Esme interrupted in a confused voice.

"If you don't mind me interrupting, what's going on?" she asked timidly.

Shooting Edward a "look what you did" look, I turned to Esme with a small smile. "Nothing," I said, patting Edward's cheek in the way he hated. "He's just picky when things don't go his way, and easily angered, and controlling and overprotective, and annoying when he pesters you for anything—"

"Bella, you better be going somewhere with this," Edward growled.

I laughed, realizing that I didn't have a point. Esme giggled, still confused. "Its nothing, Esme," I reassured her. I didn't want to tell her yet.

"What's going on?" she persisted, looking at each other of us, measuring our reactions. Esme always had a great insight and I was getting worried what she would see.

"I just haven't been eating much lately, things have been hectic, I haven't been feeling well." I left like I was just listing every reason in the book throughout my lie. "Edward's just getting a little jittery, that's all."

She let it go, surprisingly. Edward pretty much put this elbow on the table and rested his chin in his hand while Esme and I talked constantly about everything. He played with his straw in a glass of Coke, looking completely bored and sighing dramatically. I smiled slightly as Esme retold a childhood story of Edward's. There were many actually, which were quite embarrassing. Anywhere from dirty magazines under his bed at age twelve to tampons up his nose when he had a bloody nose. It was pretty comical.

Things were going great and I almost forgot Edward was beside me, sulking through the girlie conversations.

"So Bella, what happened to Jacob?" Esme asked as she sipped at her diet coke (and I couldn't have one?). "Last time I checked he was your boyfriend."

I smiled tightly as a lump rose in my throat. "He's long gone," I said, somewhat awkwardly.

"What happened?" She wasn't being persistent, just curious.

"It just..." I exhaled unnoticeably. "It wasn't working out." Her gaze didn't change. She wanted more detail. "He cheated on me," I told her, looking down at my Coke as I swirled the cubes around the brown liquid.

She pursed her lips. "Wow, I didn't think he was that kind of guy," she admitted, seeming deep in thought. I shrugged, not meeting her eyes again.

Our food was delivered a few minutes after and conversation seemed to drain out. I still wasn't hungry and looking at the food in front of me actually made me pretty nauseous. I wanted to at least attempt, because my last appointment I'd been under weight with what I should I have been around, but just the thought of it had me feeling like I could puke right then and there. I exhaled, biting my lip and tapping my foot.

Should I even try it and risk any empty stomach? As I was getting ready to attempt it, something rose in my throat. I swallowed it, sickeningly, and took a quick sip of Coke. Okay, that's a gross aftertaste. I pushed the plate away from me, shaking my head as I covered my mouth. "No," I mumbled, looking at Edward.

"What's wrong?" he asked, rubbing my back slowly.

I waved a hand in front of my mouth. "I can't do it."

"Bella, are you sick?" Esme asked immediately, wiping her mouth delicately. "Do you have the flu or something?"

Sighing, I took another sip of my drink. Edward didn't even make a move to tell her himself, only gently rubbed my back. He offered to let me out to go to the bathroom, maybe try to throw up, but I declined. I didn't have that feeling again.

"No, actually, Esme," I started, but paused and glanced at Edward. He gave me a reassuring smile, nudging me with his shoulder. "Esme, I'm pregnant."

**It was a longer chapter than normal, any reviews for me? **


	26. Esme's Amusement

**Thank you to all the reviews. Here is the product of your love. **

BPOV

_"Esme, I'm pregnant." _

The words brought a quiet silence at our table between us, and I couldn't meet Esme's eyes. What would she think of us? What would she think of _me_? She _had_ to think I was too easy, that's for sure. It would have been different if we were just having sex like any other couple, but we physically became pregnant and that would have a huge impact on everyone. It wasn't just intimacy – it was a child.

Without looking up, I cleared my throat, awaiting an answer from Esme. Or maybe even if Edward would provoke her to say something. Anything.

I finally chanced it and looked up, glancing at Edward first – his face was blank, also waiting – and then at Esme. For a second she stared at each of us, back and forth with a confused face. Then suddenly, she broke out into a smile and started laughing. And laughing very loudly. I immediately glanced at Edward, shocked and amazed at her reaction. Why was she laughing? Did she rally find this that funny? Edward looked at me with a half smirk before smiling at at his mom.

Um, what the hell?

"You..." A fit of giggles broke off the words as she pointed at me. "Your going to have a baby...with him?" The words only brought on more bubbles of laugher and I finally understood what was so funny to her.

And I couldn't even contain my own laughs.

Yes, it was so odd to laugh at this time, but I couldn't get over what she said. It was too amusing to even put into words. I'd actually thought that the fact Edward didn't have girlfriends and fucked girls round robin wasn't known among his mother and father, because that _had_ to be embarrassing, but apparently it was fairly known. I couldn't really wrap my head around that kind of concept, but I guess it wasn't much of my business.

"Uh, thanks, Mom," Edward said sarcastically. "I'm glad you have so much faith in me."

For Edward's sake I tried to get my laughter under control and talk coherently. "Yes, Esme, we're having a baby."

She'd been about to get her giggles under control until the words left my mouth. She almost had tears running down her eyes, and I would have been offended had I not known that it was in response to Edward being a father. With very minimal patients, Edward tapped his fingers on the table and checked his wrist as if he had a watch. He may not have been overly amused about Esme's teasing, but I found it downright hilarious! My reaction was so close to hers – too amused by bringing a baby into this world with Edward.

It had to be about five minutes before she stopped laughing and composed herself somewhat.

"How long have you guys been together, exactly?" she asked, fighting a smile on her lips.

"Five months," Edward said. What an asshole! He wasn't supposed to tell the truth. We were supposed to lie and say we'd been together for seven months. It wasn't much of difference, but it would make all the difference with her next question.

"How far along are you, Bella?"

"Four months."

"Oh my God," Esme breathed, not holding back her shock. And that was the reaction I'd been anticipating. "That's so fast." I nodded bluntly. "And Edward, how do you feel about this?" she wondered.

This was a question I'd been interesting in too.

"Fine," he said, shrugging with his nonchalant tone.

"Not even happy or excited?" Esme tried, seeming disappointed by Edward's lack of interest in the question. He hadn't delivered the answer I'd wanted but I knew most of what he was feeling, and it was more than _fine_.

So I put in my own option on what he was feeling. "Edward is excited, Esme, he just won't admit it. He's slowly getting more confident with the whole idea of a baby, so that's good," I told her. "In the beginning, he pretty much neglected the whole idea that I'm having a baby, but its getting better now."

Esme nodded, finally serious. "So what are your plans? Are you guys living together yet?"

I sighed. "No. Not yet," I told her. "Hopefully we will be soon." Edward and I hadn't talked about it yet, so I wasn't surprised when I felt his eyes on me.

"Any baby shopping?"

"Alice and Rose did some damage in the clothing department, but Edward and I have yet to start the real fun stuff." I heard him groan beside me as he banged his head on the table. "Yes, Edward," I said, patting his head. "And guess you gets to pay for it?" I asked excitedly before rolling my eyes at Esme.

"Wow. This is so fast," she mused. "I can't believe you didn't call me sooner, Edward!" Her voice turned up a few notches for her words to have the right impact. "When did you even play on it?"

This was one I didn't get to field.

"I don't know," he practically whined. "When I felt like it, probably."

Apparently I would have to.

"Actually, Esme, I'm sorry we didn't tell you sooner, but we were dealing with a lot of issues together because this is so sudden for us." I cast a glance at Edward and knew immediately that he wanted to get going soon. "But I assure you that Edward will be calling and visiting you much more often now."

"What!?" Edward nearly shrieked. "Are you serious? Why? You can't make me!" He sounded identical to a child trying to get out of going to school.

I raised my eyebrows at his outburst. I would understand if his parents were a couple of locos, but Esme and Carlisle are the sweetest people on this earth. "Edward," I said in a warning voice, allowing the annoyance to seep onto my face,

He sighed, letting his head fall back into his arms. I broke out into a smile immediately. Esme tried to hold back another laugh, covering her mouth with her hand.

"Fine," Edward said, still in that whiny voice.

"So, Esme, as you can see I am having a baby with a child."

---

Esme and I talked for another hour and by the time our food came, Edward had all but ran out of the restaurant. He tried pestering me to leave, he made up lies and excuses that I denied to Esme, when he just gave up. He ordered himself some alcohol, which made me see green, and shut up while we talked. We spoke about the fact I hadn't known that Edward existed, that Rosalie even had a brother, for almost forever. We both couldn't get over my stupidity.

Despite my semi-sickness, I was able to eat everything I'd been brought, which made Edward relatively happy. Apparently not enough, though.

"Can we please go?" Edward whined, yet again, pulling on my arm like a little kid.

I groaned. "I'm sorry, Esme. Apparently, _someone's_ very persistent."

"Oh, I understand, darling. And its completely fine."

Much to Edward's delight I allowed us to leave. I really didn't want to go just yet, but I couldn't put up with Edward's ignorance any longer.

Edward footed the bill while Esme and I quickly talked, the last of things we hadn't really discussed.

"Oh, I can see it," she said, putting her hand on the small bump in-between my hips. It was uncomfortable to have someone touching my stomach like this. "Four months?"

"Yep."

"Wow. So is Edward really excited?" Esme asked, glancing over as Edward paid.

I nodded. "He won't admit it. I've been making him read every pregnancy book I can get my hands on so he's prepared."

She smiled. "Bella, he's never brought a girl to meet me before," she said softly. "And to be honest, I was pretty scared about this. I mean, I know Edward doesn't really..." She fidgeted with her fingers, struggling for words. "He doesn't really respect women the way he should, but I can tell he cares about you."

"Yeah, he's told me he loves me."

A loud gasp escaped her lips and her arms wrapped around me in a vice grip. I almost forgot where Rose got her hugging skills from.

"Bella," she squealed, "this changes everything!"

This confused me. "It does?"

"Oh dear God, yes! Listen, why don't you and Edward come over next weekend and bring the whole gang? We'll have dinner and celebrate this!"

Edward was approaching but stopped when he heard "celebrate" he stopped in his tracks with a scared look. I just rolled my eyes at him. This guy needed to become more family oriented. Now, how do I teach him that?

"Yes, Esme, we'll be there," I assured her, smiling as I gave her one more hug.

"Yes, then we can show you all the pictures you missed of Edward as a kid!" she giggled. I laughed along with her.

Hopefully I can get something to hold against Edward in case of an emergency.

As Esme and I pulled apart she stepped to embrace her son. Why was he so apprehensive? So...scared? God, this guy confused me majorly. He placed his hands on the small of her back as she kissed his cheek. I smiled slightly.

"Bye, Mom," Edward said.

She smiled. "Bye, Edward. And don't think Bella won't make you call me and visit me, so be warned." She flashed me a smile. "I'll see you next weekend."

"Wait, what?" Edward demanded, looking at me frantically.

I walked over to him, laughing along with Esme, and pat his cheek. "We're going to see your parents next weekend. Its not big deal, baby." He frowned, silently begging with me to not make him go. "Sorry, babe, your not getting out of it," I told him honestly.

Esme giggled. "I'll see you all later."

Did she just include the baby?

"Wait, Esme, do you need a ride?" I asked quickly. Obviously it would be way out of our way, but I wasn't going to let her just catch a cab. One wouldn't even go out that far, I'm sure.

"No, honey, I've got it all taken care of."

I smiled and nodded, not about to press the issue as she walked out the door. I could feel it as Edward finally relaxed from the loss of his mother's presence, which I didn't understand.

"Come on, Eddie, you got what you wanted," I teased, grabbing his hand. "Let's go."

As we walked out into the cool air Edward broke the silence.

"Hey, Bella, can we do some fun studying?"

**And there you have it. I'm going to warn you now that the time of Bella's pregnancy will be relatively quick and I'll be moving it along quicker. **


	27. The Sex

**This is my first update in a long time for any of my stories – I'm hoping to update them all this weekend, so. Just a warning...here it goes...I start high school next school year, Grade 9, so I won't be able to update as often. Its my goal to get most my stories done by then so I can focus. There's just been so much stress right now. **

**Remember: age is nothing but a number! **

BPOV

I rolled up the tight gray sleeves of my dress as I walked into the hospital. Today was the day. The day we would find out the sex of the baby. It is was the Wednesday after our lunch with Esme, so this way we could also surprise everyone with the news. I really didn't care what this baby was, as long as it was healthy. Its all I ever cared about from the very beginning. But every time I imagined Edward and I in the future, it always revolved around a girl.

Our relationship was moving quite awkwardly. Edward insisted I stay at his place every night, in his bed, which meant he was exhausted every morning as he dragged his ass out of bed. Which was always completely naked. All in all, everything was fine. And that made it weird. I expected us to have a least a fight within those last few days, but we didn't, and that only happened because Edward was being Resolve Edward. He was ready beforehand for everything I wanted, everything I could possibly snap at or about. He made things perfect before they could go the wrong way.

Actually I was fairly glad for this, but then he did something that totally piss me off.

Edward wanted to go by the book. The pregnancy book, I mean; we already fucked up the bible. He told me what to eat, when to eat, neglected me to exercise for more than _twenty_ minutes, wouldn't let me wear high heels on the odd day that I wanted to, and so much more. It was quite irritating, really. I was going to snap at this guy soon if he didn't back off.

I knew exactly where to go so I didn't bother with the receptionist. Being early I headed for Edward's office, taking the chance he would be there. But he wasn't. So I made myself at home in the oversized leather chair. The room was so profession that I couldn't even picture the Edward I knew here, the one that wasn't in Doctor Mode. I'd visited him in here many times but it was hard to believe.

Propping my feet up on the grand desk, I thought about flipping through the files that lined the wall, but decided against it. So instead, I searched his desk.

A Blackberry was in the top drawer, one I'd seen many times. Hmm. He wouldn't mind if I just took a peek...But then I remembered when I tried to hack into it before and he had a lock on it. Well fuck that, that isn't any fun. Leaping through more drawers, which was filled with so much crap, I found nothing of interest. Nothing.

On the top of Edward's desk sat a picture of him and Rosalie at the beach, and he'd told me they were in grade eleven there. They were in the Bahamas for winter break, but they hadn't been living together. Apparently Edward had emancipated when he was fourteen for some reason and moved away. I smiled at the picture. He was so gorgeous. My smile widened as I picked up a small square of paper and turned it around to see what it was.

The picture was probably the most recent one the baby. It was crystal clear, compared to others, where you could see every curve and the distinctive body parts.

My attention was broken away from my blissful thoughts as I heard rising voices. It wouldn't have mattered if I hadn't heard the familiar voices.

"Tonya, just go away." It was Edward. "For the last time, I don't want you."

"Edward, what are you talking about?" My stomach turned at the sound of her voice. "You told me you wanted me!"

He hissed, "Keep your voice down! And I said I wanted you..." I didn't hear the rest and I felt my heart tear.

I'd trusted him! I'd trusted that he changed, that he would stay faithful and not break my heart. I'd been so _sure_ that Edward was going to be different then Jacob, but I guess guys just can't keep their dicks in their pants. Was it coincidence that my heart would be broken by two guys, thanks to the same woman?

That bitch would pay.

But instead of going out there and punching her lights out like I so bad wanted to, I sat back in the chair and took deep breaths, trying not to cry. My tears were so close to brimming when the door opened and their voices became more realistic.

"I told you I already have..." Edward's eyes found mine. "Bella." He smiled, but I didn't return it. I only glared at the strawberry blond bobbing behind him, her face frowning as she saw me. Edward walked over to me and tried to kiss my cheek.

I pushed him away. "Don't...touch me," I mumbled, leaning away from him and never letting my eyes stray from Tonya.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Edward asked, confused. Oh yeah, just fake it, kid.

"That is," I said sharply, pointing at her.

He sighed.

"Uh, don't just sigh," I snapped. "I heard what you were saying outside, Edward. _'I said you want you.'_ What. The. Fuck?"

His grunt was more amused now. I was ready to snap that bastard's neck when he told me, "I said I wanted her _when we were together_. Not now. I said it then, Bella. Not now."

I. Felt. Like. An. Idiot.

My interpretation was way off and all I could do was stare at Edward. He _looked_ honest.... But what did I know? He could have been lying to me right to my face and I wouldn't have had a single clue. Of course I wanted to believe him more than anything, because our future depended on this very moment, but what if he wasn't being truthful with me now?

"Edward, I am so not in the mood for this," I said dismissively, waving him off as I turned around and grabbed my purse.

I was ready to head for the door when I felt a hand wrap around my wrist and pull me back. I should have known he wouldn't let me go so easily.

"Please don't do this," he begged quietly, sadness coloring his tone as his eyes pleaded with me.

My will has always been very strong no matter what I was facing with, but under the right pressure I could turn to putty and mush. I didn't like that Edward could control me so easily, that he could change my emotions with a single sentence or a bat of his awfully thick eyelashes. He did look sexy as hell when he was pleading for what he wanted, but at this moment I barely noticed that. My anger was melting away – and directing toward Tonya.

Tossing my purse onto Edward's desk, and knocking a few things over, I put my hands on my hips and eyes her evenly.

"What are you still doing here?" I demanded.

She scowled, which quickly turned into a smug look. "I'm trying to talk to Edward, so if you could give us some privacy..." She drifted off suggestively, glancing at the door.

My mouth gaped at her boldness, but I knew I was bolder.

"Maybe you should give us some privacy," I suggested sweetly. "Its called Girlfriend Privilege. Take a hike, chicky." I pointed at the door. "I'm not an usher, but I will _kick_ your ass out in seconds if you don't start moving it."

Tonya looked at Edward like he would take her side. Fuck no, if he wanted to keep his balls he better be on my side.

"Tonya, please leave." Stop being so fucking polite, I thought. "I think we're done here for good."

Enough with that, I decided. "And don't call or stop by to see him ever again because he is _mine_. He belongs to me, I'm the only one who gets to touch him so keep your claws to yourself," I told her sharply.

"Kind of like Jacob was yours?" Tonya asked sweetly, raising an eyebrow.

My heart felt so heavy, like it weighted a million pounds, and my jaw shook. I'd been doing so well to not think of him. It still hurt when I did think of Jacob, but not nearly as much in the beginning. It was getting better, needless to say. Why'd this woman have to ruin it all so quickly?

"Yes," I replied stiffly. "Just like that."

"I'm sure he'll be very interested to know what's going on with you. You know, new man and all..." Her eyes roamed on Edward for too long and lingered in places I didn't enjoy seeing.

Edward shook his head, grabbing my hand. "Tonya, please leave now. Your not welcome here, so don't come back." He turned to me and I forced my eyes to soften slightly. "I'm sorry, Isabella," he said, and when I heard my full name I knew for sure that he was serious. I could only nod. I didn't trust my voice yet. "Do you forgive me?"

"Would you let me be made at you for more than ten minutes?"

"No."

"Then yes."

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Tonya shaking her head. "Whatever, I'll go," she decided. "But I'll call you, Edward."

My eyes nearly bugged out of my head. "Like fuck you will!" I snapped, stepping forward but Edward grabbed my hand before I could get too far. "What are you doing?" I asked tiredly as I cast a sidelong glance at him.

"I won't let you kill her despite how helpful that could be to the world." His restraint turned to a soft grip.

I laughed once, knowing just how helpful it could be if Tonya had never existed. Who would Jacob have cheated on me with, then? "I know," I agreed dryly, suddenly uncomfortable. I shifted my weight once and sighed, trying to calm my emotions. I really didn't want to be pissed off on a day like this. "Tonya, would you please leave?" I asked as politely as possible. "I have an appointment that I'm late for." Which was in fact a lie; I had a lot time left.

She nodded, seeming to find her own resolve in herself. "Okay, I have some phone calls to make anyway," she said easily. A twinkle flickered in the blue eyes. "But don't think I'm going to stay away."

_If you want to live...you really, _really_ should_, I wanted to say. But I stayed silent, looking at the floor and trying not to cry. What had I done to Tonya in the first place that she wanted to ruin every relationship I had? I'd never met her before Jacob's affair, and I certainly wished I hadn't. Edward was the one relationship I needed, that I had to choice but to start and continue, but what of she fought to ruin that too? With her big chest and heavy assets, she could ruin my life in seconds. Hell, she had one time. What was stopping her from redoing that same thing to Edward and I?

But would Edward even allow that to come between us? If he truly loved me he would file a restraining order against her. She was dangerous. Extremely dangerous. And I was so _not_ ready to deal with another hard breakup and have a baby involved, born or not.

Because if I was being completely honest with myself at that moment I would admit that I was attached to Edward. I was so used to going to his place at night, ordering takeout while we "studied" and just letting loose. I was so used to going to bed next to him and waking up to him doing some explicit things to me before he went off to work. We had a routine almost. It already felt like too much to lose.

Tonya turned away and walked out the door, closing it behind her. I felt so deflated with her gone, though I should have felt much better. I probably felt like shit because of how I treated Edward.

"Look, I'm sorry..." I started as I fell into his open arms. He sat in the big comfy chair with his legs open for me. "My assumptions were so _off_."

"Bella, it doesn't matter—"

I shook my head. "No, it does. You can't just let me go when I do something wrong. Call me a name to make me feel better," I suggested, turning my head around to see his face. He didn't seem to agree with me, but complied with what I said.

"You're a bitch, Bella," he said through his teeth.

Nodding I said, "Thank you. That's pretty good, Edward."

"I don't see why you want me to call you names."

"Because it makes me feel better. I know I'm far from perfect, Edward, and when you just ignore my apologizes then it makes me feel like I do everything right, when I really didn't." I paused, grabbing one of his hands and placing it on my stomach. "This is an example of what I did wrong. But I definitely don't regret it."

We sat in silence, me nestled on Edward's lap as we reclined in the chair in his office. One of his hands was on my stomach, mine settled on top of his, and his other rested on the material that partly covered my thigh. We hadn't been like this is awhile, been so quiet and thoughtful. But I guess there's a lot to think about for us now, more than just the average young adult. But we had each other and I hoped that was enough for now.

I sighed, ready to break the silence. "Boy or girl?"

"Boy!" Edward said immediately, releasing my hand on my belly to curve it slightly under my small bump. Getting dangerously close... "I couldn't take a girl," he admitted.

"Why?"

"That whole period shit."

I laughed, clutching my stomach to catch myself. "You don't want a girl because she will have her period?"

He pretended to shudder. "That stuff is so gross, Bella. I don't want a daughter; I want a son." Turning around I saw the frown in place as he pouted about the possibility. "And there's that whole boyfriend shit and the pregnancy shit. Fuck, what she gets pregnant when she's fourteen!" He groaned, tossing his head back.

Hiding my smile I said, "You're thinking way too far ahead, Edward. And not every teenager gets pregnant, thank you very much. Way to have faith in all the girls around here."

He rolled his eyes. "Let's go. Your going to be late, and we can fight about this later."

I jumped off his lap and he wrapped his arm around my waist. In the past few weeks Edward had taken up a protective gesture, so now he wasn't much for handholding. Apparently, "this show's guys who they're not getting a ride from," as Edward so kindly put it. Dr. Newton was actually working in the Birth & Delivery section today so we had to travel to the whole other side of the huge hospital and up a floor to get there. We were just on time, and I couldn't have been more excited.

Without hesitation I got myself settled on the table and in the ready position for Dr. Newton. Because this wasn't just any appointment. This was the most important one yet.

"Oh my God, I'm so excited!" I squealed. I hated to admit it but I sounded oddly like Alice. Great, now she's wearing odd on me.

Edward laughed beside me. "Calm down."

"I can't!" I squealed again, flailing my hands. My excitement suddenly stopped. "Okay, where is that guy?" I demanded angrily. "I've been waiting here for almost five fucking minutes, where is he?"

"Okay, Bella, calm down," he said, much more serious. "He's delivering a baby. Just wait."

"Do you believe that your telling me to be _patient_ about knowing the sex of the baby? Did you not ready the books?" I snapped, which was a dumb question because of course he did. I was with him every time.

Just as our argument was about to get vey heated very fast, the door opened and my doctor _finally_ walked in.

"Hello, Bella. Hey, Edward," he said, much more casually. I tried not to snicker about it.

"Mike, how's work going today?" Edward asked, in all politeness.

I wanted to hit him.

"Pretty good. Four boys, six girls all in one day." He nodded, writing something on the clipboard. He opened his mouth to say something and I already knew it would have nothing to do with me or the baby, so I cut him off.

"Okay, enough small talk! Can you please hook up the pretty little machine and get a move on?" I snapped, feeling so angered for no reason.

To my surprise both men laughed and started talking hormones. "Ugh!" I groaned, falling back and covering my yes in frustration. I just wanted to know and see if all of Alice's and Rose's stuff would be all that handy. "Please just tell me what my baby is so I can leave!" I begged in agony.

"Okay, Bella, I just have a few questions," Dr. Newton said, but the smirk never left his face. I think he was just as amazed by Edwards transformation as I was and the fact Edward had a girlfriend and not a fuck-buddy. It was a lot to be amazed by, considering his past. _Past, past, past, Tonya is nothing_.

He went through the major questions about my mood, appetite, pains, so on. Edward really liked to put in his option, which made it ten times longer in waiting, especially about the whole eating situation. Now I'm getting bagged on by _two_ men for not eating all that I should and not gaining enough. Neither bought nay of my lame excuses. Edward also liked to mention that I was trying to exercise too much, which he then got bagged on for because it was, in fact, okay for a little exercise. Edward was just being too protective.

They had started another conversation about the basketball or football game that was on last night as the doctor spread that gel over my stomach. I wanted to scream at how slow this was. We'd probably been in here for about twenty minutes and the wand thingy wasn't even on my stomach yet. Holy fuck. I sweat they were doing this for their own amusement or just to piss me off.

But it felt like way too much. They just wouldn't get on track here; they needed a boost.

"Okay, enough chitter-chatter, let's do this thing," I said, pointing at Edward with a waning look as he opened his mouth. He snapped it closed and leaned back. At least he was learning well.

"Okay, Bella, don't be too patient now," Dr. Newton joked as the machine started whirling and he placed the wand against my stomach. With my eyes closed I took a deep breath, and when I opened them Edward was standing beside me and holding my hand.

The picture came up in the small screen and it had all our eyes. It was hard to see but so easy to identify in the dark colors, the contours of our baby. My heart raced in anticipation and Edward squealed my hand. The doctor moved the wand about, watching the monitor closely and nodding slowly. That had to be a sign that things were good at least.

I held my breath as he turned and smiled..._Girl, girl, girl, girl_, I mentally chanted, breaking out into my own smile.

"So we want the sex do we?" he asked, and I knew he was just pressing my buttons.

"Don't you play with me here, Doc. Of course we want to know," I said.

"What do you want, Edward?" he asked, grinning slightly.

Edward answered immediately, "Boy."

Dr. Newton turned to me. "Girl," I said simply, but urgently.

Glancing at the screen once, he turned back and said, "Well, Bella, it looks like your getting want you want."

I shot up on the table, making him fumble with the machinery, but I barely noticed it. "A girl?" I shrieked, braking out into a huge smile. "Are you serious?" I turned to Edward and he had the biggest pout on his face.

"Periods, tampons..." he moaned, covering his eyes as he crashed down on the chair. I turned to Mike and laughed outright. What a child.

But I still couldn't believe it. I didn't think I would be this excited for a baby, but now that I knew I'm carrying a girl it seemed so much more surreal. I couldn't even wrap my head around it. A girl. Its always so fun shopping for a girl! Upon my request the pictures were printed off – extras for Edward's parents – as Dr. Newton told me how healthy the baby was and cautioned me on the eating thing again. Edward just sat and moaned.

When I was dressed and trying to coax Edward into shutting up and standing up, Dr. Newton muttered something that didn't sound right. It set off alarms that he was still looking at the picture of the baby. Forgetting about Edward I asked, "What? What's wrong with the baby?" This had Edward's attention too.

"It seems I made a mistake. I have no idea how I missed this," he mumbled.

My stomach turned and clutched onto Edward for support. No, there couldn't be anything wrong. There just couldn't.

"I'm sorry, Bella, but this is not a girl," he admitted, smiling slightly as he held up the picture.

The knot in my stomach untied and it felt like I could breathe again. Nothing serious. Thank God.

"Wait, what do you mean?" Edward asked with newfound excitement.

"Your having a boy, not a girl." He held up the picture to us and pointed out where he was looking.

"Yeah," I agreed dully. "That's no girl."

**There, hope you enjoyed, and please review. I am quite proud of this chapter actually. **

**-Mickey**


	28. The Complaining

**Thank you to all the awesome reviews! Here is the next chapter to make your day!**

"Great, and now I'm going to have a son with a small dick! So much for genetics!"

Edward was furious to say the least. While I was bummed we weren't having a girl, Edward was not taking it gently that he was mistaken for a girl. I knew he was overreacting, and at any time I would tell him to shut up and suck it up, but it was too amusing. He was in a constant rant as we left the baby selection, as I called it, of the hospital. We were headed back to his office because he had one more patient to check on before he was done and free to go.

At least we were almost there and I wouldn't have to hear how he couldn't be proud of a son with a small member. I just tried not to laugh as he was using gestures to explain his words and how infuriated he was.

"Whatever happened to fucking inheritance?" he ranted. "Why the hell is he being taken for a fucking girl? That's so not fucking right, Bella! What the hell are we going to do? I can't have a he-she for a son!" He turned to me, for once pausing for me to get a word in.

I shook my head, smiling widely at him. "You need to calm down. It was a simple mistake, it doesn't matter if he isn't that big, Edward. He's only four months old for Christ's sake. Besides, it shouldn't matter to you how big he is. He's your son either way."

"But he can't be mine if he's got a small dick, Bella, that's the thing."

"Are you saying your not the father?" I teased.

He snorted. "Of course not. I don't doubt it for a second. But I'm so not impressed that my son won't have the right tool."

My mouth dropped. "Edward, you shouldn't be worried about our son's sexual ability," I snapped, but smiled at him soon after.

"I'm not worried," he said carefully. "I'm just _concerned_."

"Oh my God, its like the same thing," I said, truly getting annoyed now. "Edward, it was an honest mistake, could you please let it go?"

He shook his head. "Either it's a boy or girl, not both. And that includes being mistaken for one!"

We didn't talk anymore after that as we walked to his office. Being full of annoyance I took my hand from his and crossed my arms. That would definitely confirm the message I wanted to send. _I'm pissed._

I waited in his office while he made some quick, final rounds. I just wanted to get out of this place because Edward really put a damper on my excitement. So, what? Our baby has a little thing – it shouldn't affect him in the least! He's being so childish at the moment.

We parted ways. He pat my head as he turned for one of the hallways, but not before I hit him in between his shoulder blades. What an ass.

Being back in his office felt weird. When we'd been trucking it to the maternity ward I'd noticed many beautiful women working around, occasionally sending Edward a little look that gave me anger chills. He could "lapse" at any time, for Christ's sake. I felt awkward being in his office again. What if Tonya showed up again? Well, I certainly wouldn't hesitate to go after her again and there wouldn't be anyone to stop me.

I fell into his chair again and waited for him to return.

During his small absence, all I could think about was Edward's immaturity. There was no denied then he'd come a far way from how I used to barely know him, but he still had a lot of work to do. I couldn't get over it... Why did he care about our son's future performance? Its not like it would have any effect to him or have any effect _on_ him.

When he returned I could see how cautious he was being. Edward was hesitant to close the door and even more hesitant to take one step forward, let alone twenty. His arms hung at his sides and I got a weird deflated feeling in the pit of my stomach. He could even make broken look good!

My resolve was only inches from caving, but if there was one thing I knew he needed, it was tough love; I couldn't just give him a million dollars unless he worked his ass off. The same principles applied here. He wasn't about to get off without some bitching. So I stared at him, arms crossed and scowling like the sassy bitch I was slowly becoming. I think its coming from Rosalie.

The light bulb practically went off right in front of my face; I saw the little idea in the back of his green eyes. I knew I was doomed when I saw the corners of his mouth turned down and his eyes were all puppy-dog. I could have melted at that look, totally crumbled under the weight of his apology.

"What?" I asked after we stared too long at each other.

He sighed. "I'm sorry I am worried about my son's future performance," he said robotically, cocking his head to the side like he was willing me to understand. "C'mon, Bella, its not the best thing to hear your son being mistaken for a girl."

I nodded, that part I could understand. "Yeah, but you don't have to make such a big deal of it," I told him matter-of-factly. "Your acting so immature."

"But its so bad of an effect on me."

"You did _not_ just whine!" I laughed. Even though this wasn't the first time, it was still amusing to hear his childish side no matter how much it had to go. "God, now you've hit the edge."

"Bellllaaa," he drawled warningly, but still whining. I sighed as he walked over to me, walking around the desk and pulled me so he could sit. As I was about to give him a good slap of it, he pulled me down on his lap and settled me there. I let my head fall back to rest on his shoulder.

"But you need to let it go," I added dully.

"Yeah, yeah. Just drop it." He paused. "And I'll complain about it if I want."

I rolled my eyes but didn't press the issue. We had enough to worry and preoccupy ourselves with than fighting about the littlest things. Ugh, _littlest_. I shook my head of the thoughts before they would bring me to the edge of continuing the conversation. We sat in silence and I could tell he had something on his mind; what it was, I had no idea. And I knew I wouldn't press for it. The least he could have is his thoughts to himself.

As I was about ready to cave and ask what was on his mind, there was a chorus of deep laughs and the doorknob to the office jingling.

It flew open and a gaggle of men I didn't know walked in, laughing and talking loudly. I wondered for a second what was so funny.

"Hey, Ed—oh!" I was surprised to see Mike, my freakin' doctor among the men. "Hi, Bella," he said, somewhat sheepishly.

"Hi," I mumbled, looking down at Edward's hands linked on my stomach. I hadn't met his friends at the hospital yet and this just seemed like an awkward time for it.

I tried to tune out their conversation and not impose, but I did catch a few words enough to get the gist of it: They were leaving early and wanted Edward to join them at the club. I remembered instantly the last time he's gone out with his friends. The deflated feeling in my stomach ached in protest, but I knew that this would be a decent opportunity for me to hang out with the girls.

Pretty much, I had neglected them for the past few months and I regretted it immensely.

One thing Edward and I also needed to work on was being apart. We've been so focused on each other and together at every second that I could force myself at him, but I knew we needed to learn to be apart. It had been so long sense I have been alone too. What would it be like to have time to myself? I wondered. Certainly it would be different now than it was with Jacob. All my time to think these past few months was always tuning out Edward, so this could be a good thing.

Maybe we just needed to invest in some time together.

I mentally grinned and waited for my time for input.

"So, you game, Eddie?" asked a man I'd never seen before. I snickered once because I'd learned that Edward despised the nickname.

I felt him shift under me. Immediately, I knew what he was going to say and I wouldn't have it. Sitting up straighter I said, "He'll totally be there."

"I will?" Edward asked, confused.

"You will," I confirmed. "Unless you want to hang around while Rose, Ali and I talk about period cramps, I suggest you go." I flashed him a quick, innocent smile, earning a few laughs from his friends.

Yeah, he's totally putty in my hands.

"Well, you shouldn't be having your period," Edward snapped. I opened my mouth to pick apart his poor defence but decided against it. Instead I thought of something else that would get to him.

"Oh, your right!" I said in a voice that implied I forgot. "I have our daughter – I mean, _son_ inside me."

I had the pleasure of watched his face flush in anger, his eyes darkening. There were a few chuckles and I knew that none of them would fully understand. Not even Dr. Newton. Edward gently pinched my side when I slapped my hand over my mouth, trying to contain my laugh for his own sake.

"Well, thank you, Bella," Edward said stiffly. "I'll remember this conversation for later, let me warn you."

Damn, I thought. Now that _really_ backfired."

**Its been so long sense I last updated anything...this is for all you out there! **

**-Mickey**


	29. Girl Talk

**Oh my God, only one chapter away from Chapter 30! Yay! I'm thinking we're edging closer to the 40 chapter mark, maybe more. Don't forget to review!**

BPOV

I could feel they're eyes on me, but what was I supposed to do? That's what happens when your pregnant and fresh to the second trimester.

"Okay, girls, look away," I advised around a shove-full of chocolate ice cream. The slab of coldness was cradled on my lap, which was covered by a blanket, as I ate from the container.

"Sorry," Rosalie mumbled, looking back at the TV.

"Well, I'm not," Alice said forcefully. "How can you eat all that?"

My mouth was full of cool goodness. "Aww ga waaw." I swallowed and tried again. "I have to gain weight," I said clearly.

Alice's brows furrowed, but it was Rosalie who spoke. "Why? Did my brother tell you to, because of he did I will kick his ass..."

"No no! I just have to gain some weight, Rosalie. For the baby. Remember?"

"Right." She didn't seem convinced. "How much?"

I exhaled as I shifted my body backward to recline into the cushions. "Uh, something like another five—ten pounds. Last time I was weighted I was under too much."

Truth be told, I didn't want to lose my body. At only twenty-five, it was my time to live and have fun – that included keeping my body. But I'd seen on the TV many times what the baby can do to your body. Stretch your skin and leaving marks, giving you excess skin and weight you don't want. I was glad that I wasn't that much different form my original weight.

However, my boyfriend and doctor were not too impressed by the outcome. I was put on a strict weight gain. And to think – I used to be on strict _diets_.

"I'm sure Edward likes that." There was a sceptical note to Alice's voice. All I did was shrug. "Oh c'mon, Bella," Alice said, somewhat sarcastic. "We're all girls here – we used to talk about this kind of stuff with Jacob. Why's it so different now?"

My eyes fell onto the tub on my lap. "Edward is not Jacob," I said, quiet and careful. "They're opposites – like the sun to the moon." I looked up and gave her a threatening look. "Do not compare them."

She flinched. "Sorry."

Rosalie put in, "So, Bella, even as the thought makes me nauseous of my brother banging my best friend, he must like that you have to pack on pounds. I think I read somewhere that its some kind of turn on."

"I don't know! He's always turned on! You guys know that." Setting the ice cream on the table I crossed my arms, giving them each a level look. They had to know that about him – a lot of people knew that about him!

Rose nodded, but it was Alice who spoke, very serious. "And you don't get worried that he's always turned on?"

Opening my mouth to respond I quickly closed it with new annoyance. "Hey, why are we talking about me?"

"Because your life's more fucked up than ours."

"Oh, gee, thanks, Alice. That makes me feel so much better. And you don't think your and Jasper's role playing isn't slightly fucked?"

She frowned. "Its just kinky."

I rolled my eyes at her sad defence. "And in answer to your previous question, no. A few months ago I would have been scared of his horniness, but I trust him now. I don't worry about," I said honestly.

"Don't give him too much of a leash, Bella," Rosalie said quickly, wiping on a glass of wine. I watched her grudgingly.

The laugh that I gave shocked them both. "He knows he won't live if he cheats on me," I told them, remembering the time I'd threatened his man parts. I shook my head, snapping back to reality and smiling at them. "Yeah, I have nothing to worry about."

There was doubt in both their eyes and written on their faces, but I ignored it. I knew Edward better then Alice, maybe better then Rosalie did, and I was sure Edward was over with that part of his life. And if not over then at least put a stop to it. There was no need to worry about a lapse, I realized. If he loved me like he said we wouldn't be in the danger of a tragic ending.

We fell into an easier conversation about their relationships. We had barely spoke in so long that I didn't know what was up with them. Alice was sure that Jasper would pop the question any day now and she was so excited that I was worried if he _didn't_ in the near future. There wasn't much up with Rosalie – Emmett never changes. He's still an ass, but even I knew that.

In minutes we were back to me. Well, actually, it was a full-blown topic of the baby.

I remembered instantly that they still weren't informed about the sex.

"Are you guys going to move in together?" Rose asked.

"I don't know," I sighed. "We need to, but I don't know how to ask him. I know I brought it up before, but I just don't even know how to ask again."

Rosalie laughed and I glared at her. "Bella, my brother has been bending over backwards for you these last few months. Do you really think he's going to say no?"

I shook my head. "Rosalie, this isn't about him saying no, it's a matter of time. _We don't have any_. I am already four months, almost five, which means only about four more to go. Do you realize how much of a time crunch that's going to be?" I added, so quietly I didn't know if they heard, "And this is all my fault."

"Then you guys need to hurry!" Alice exploded matter-of-factly. "Oh my God, and I can decorate the nursery, Bella! Will you let me?" She leaned forward in her seat, trying to hold her huge smile back.

"Alice," I groaned. Of course there had to be another downside to this whole thing. "Really, you make the idea of finding another place to live very unappealing."

She looked at me hard. "I just want to do it so you don't. 'Cause you won't even be able to with the baby."

"Edward will."

"How do you know?"

I gave her a mischievous look. "Oh, he will, Alice. He will."

"No, no, get away!" I shouted, slapping his hand away from the pie. He frowned. "This is for taking to your parents, not your own, personal enjoyment."

A seductive look crossed his face as his hand slipped into my back pocket. "No, _you'd_ be my personal enjoyment," he corrected. I rolled my eyes as I turned back to the chocolate pie. "So, why chocolate pie?" he asked when I didn't respond to his comment.

"Because Esme loves it, Rose loves it, Alice loves it, and I love it. Majority wins." I smiled at him over my shoulder.

"Right." His arms wrapped around my torso, pulling me back against him. "I love you," he whispered.

I bit my lip as I concentrated on the blob of whipped cream. I still couldn't say it, I still wasn't sure, so I just pat his cheek.

As I sat the can down Edward picked it up and sprayed some in his mouth. I watched with amusement as he popped his lips.

"Yum."

I rolled my eyes. "Give me that," I said, plucking it from his hand, detangling myself from him and putting it in the fridge. Edward jumped up on the counter, swinging his legs as he watched me wrap up the pie. Tonight would be the night that we would tell everyone that the baby's a boy. Hopefully the story of the gender mistake would not be told because that would rile Edward up and I would have to hear it all night long.

Edward gestured me over with a hand, beckoning me forward. I knew that look in his eyes – it was all too familiar.

"No, Edward," I said in a warning tone. He smiled, something close to innocence.

"Please, Bella," he begged. "Maybe a little..." He puckered his lips. "Quality time before we leave."

"Do you realize that everyone is in the next room?" I glanced at the clock. "And we have to leave in ten minutes to make it to Forks in time."

He sighed, hanging his head back.

"Ahhh, what's wrong, Eddie?" Emmett teased as he strolled into the kitchen with everyone tow.

"He's sexually frustrated," I told them, laughing at his exasperated face.

Emmett laughed. "Figures. You guys ready to go?" he asked, gesturing to the door.

"Yep, let's do this," Edward said, groaning as he jumped off the counter.

I would never understand why he didn't like to see his parents.

We all headed for the door and were off toward Forks to see Esme and Carlisle, and deliver our news.

**Yes, it is short, but I wanted to get something out. Hopefully another update will come out early this week. **


	30. Family

**Oh, my God, its chapter 30! That's a huge accomplishment for me so far! **

**By the way, just a little assistance, something's totally fucked with my avatar and after deleting it it won't let me load another. I've never had this problem before – partly because I've never changed it – but now its just fucked. Any help? Any suggestions? **

BPOV

"Man up!" Emmett advised through the window before stalking away toward his jeep, which the whole gang was already packed in.

I stifled a laugh at Edward's stricken expression as he revved the engine and pulled out of the lot. "Yeah, Edward, he has a point," I told him. "You need to stop being so..._rude _to Esme and Carlisle. They are your parents, not a couple of strangers." He grunted in acknowledgement. I sighed. "I don't even see why you hate them so much. _I_ probably love them more than you."

He shook his head sharply, mumbled profanities under his breath, and I knew immediately that I was wearing his patients. "I don't _hate_ them," he snapped, turning to me briefly to shot a death-defying look. "I have strong feels against them and its none of your business why."

Like that would stop me.

"Well, why? Esme has always been so nice and just precious to me. What'd you do?" I teased.

The right side of his lips lifted briefly. "Nothing," he admitted, and sighed. "When I was young – younger," Edward corrected quickly, "they treated me like a child and kept me so close to home that it, well, pissed me off. So I left, moved out on my own because I couldn't stand them. We've never had a good relationship, especially me and my father. That will be one tussle you'll be glad to see."

"Your not going to fight with him, right?" I demanded quickly, alarmed.

"Can't promise anything. Sorry."

"Edward, please don't. It will ruin the whole night. Plus the little surprise for everyone..." I gave him my best pleading look. A few words between them that weren't so nice would be fine, but I knew when Edward was fired up it would be more than that.

"You can't control what's meant to be, Bella," he replied hastily. "I'm not about to pretend we're some perfect family. My father's a dick. End of story."

I shook my head sharply. "You can't," I told him with as much finality in my voice. But I knew that he wouldn't listen to me. "Can't you just pretend to be happy for four hours? Roughly," I added meekly.

"There's a reason I left to live on my own. I can't stand being with my parents. This was a horrible idea and its your fault." He didn't sound like a child anymore, not like he was pouting, but actually very mad at me.

Should I have been insulted? Maybe angry. I had no idea, but I did feel a little..._bad_. But what had I done? Merely been oblivious to what Edward felt for his parents, or what happened in the past? He had no right to blame me for getting together with people I loved. Even I find it hard to believe that I'd missed out on the detail that Rosalie had a brother, but I realized that they'd almost painted over Edward in their family. Not to forget him, just to put him aside. They'd never mentioned him. Rose didn't.

Edward moved out on his one very young – that's why I never knew. But Esme seemed so happy to see him, and he didn't return the favour all that neatly. But they have a _grandchild_ on the way! Of course he's going to have to be in the same house as them, of course he's going to have to learn to see them more and socialize like they are family. Because they are. No matter how much he wants to believe that Esme and Carlisle don't love him, he's their son.

You can never replace that.

Keeping my words to myself I stared straight ahead and didn't utter a word.

Our moods hadn't improved when we came to the Cullen house. I remembered every asset of it, every window, every pane – I even went over the inside in my head. It had been too long.

Emmett's jeep was already parked in front of us and there was no sign of movement inside.

Something was keeping me from getting out of the car and going into that house: I sat in my seat silently. Edward seemed to mimic this.

After a few moments the answer came to me and it felt like a ton of bricks falling on my shoulders. I knew he was right. I was trying to force him back into an invisible family circle and the reason made me feel like I was just hit in the head.

"I just want," I said quietly, "your family connected with us. I don't want to be one of those...distant families that never call each other or visit. One day I want to be able to connect both our families. I know it won't happen but I want to try. It involves you having a good relationship with them." He was listening now, I could tell. "I haven't spoken to my mom in years. She doesn't want to talk to me. And she lives in Jacksonville." I swallowed back tears. "My dad literally lives five minutes away."

I pushed his hand off as soon as it made contact with my thigh. I didn't want his sympathy.

"And..." I choked on my own breath. "I—I don't even know what to do. I haven't talked to him in so long and its been even longer sense I've _seen _him..." It was killing me now. I did want to see my dad, I wanted to be able to share his first grandchild with him. This wasn't just an experience for me and Edward, but for both our families. Esme and Carlisle were getting in _our_ circle, but Charlie had yet to be allowed.

"Its okay, Bella." There was a tone in his voice I didn't understand, something like guilt and masked apology. But I didn't question it. He needed to let me dwell on this because it was the only way I could think.

_I needed to see my father_.

That was the only thought I could have. All this made me realize how _I_ was neglecting my family. It wasn't just Edward doing it.

"Come on, Bella, we should get inside," Edward mumbled, grabbing my hand and holding tight when I tried to pull back. "Stop doing this," he said, though there was no command in his voice. "Just stop being so bitchy."

No words came from my mouth.

"We're far from perfect, just deal with it," he said, his tone more light now.

A single tear fell from my eye.

"Bella," he whined, "please don't cry. There's no reason for it."

"Yeah there is!" I bawled, wrenching my hand from his grasp and burying my face in my hands. "I feel horrible!"

His hand was on my back, rubbing up and down slowly. So maybe he was slowly starting to become more tender and sweet. "For what?" He probably felt more obligated to ask.

"Everything," I breathed. I didn't bother to elaborate, only straighten and wipe at my tears. Not many escaped so I hoped that I wouldn't actually look like I'd been crying. With a quick check in the mirror I realized I looked fine, save for a little smudge of eyeliner. Alice could get at me for that little misplaced charcoal if she wanted.

Edward held my hand and didn't say anything. He really was allowing me to drown in my own sorrows as we walked up the drive. The Cullen house was set in a big span of forest and it surrounded us, making me really feel captured in my own mood.

Maybe Edward and I can relate on the level of not being family oriented. But I didn't feel like I could talk to him about this particular thing. It was personal. And yet I pried into his family issues, I reminded myself.

"Can you try to put a smile on?" Edward asked softly. "I don't want my family thinking I made you cry."

"Can you not fight with your family?" I asked in return. "I don't want to deal with it."

He smiled cockily. "If anything, Bella, there will be a lot of happiness tonight."

There was something in his tone that made me want to be sure I was understanding him. "Because of the baby, right?"

"That too."

I gave him a confused look as we walked up the front steps. My eyes were glued to the side of his face, trying to find a portrayal to what he was thinking. What else could make this a fun and happy night besides the news of the baby? I was so captured in my own thoughts and wonders that I didn't notice Edward hadn't opened the door before it was opened for us.

Then the voice that slowly had been becoming unfamiliar, husky and laced with happiness, emotion, rang in my ears. "Bella."

My head snapped back to the open door as I took in the site in front of me.

**Who is it?**

**-SeraphimXOX**


	31. Dinner PT1

**This story seems to really be killing me. **

**Being the busy person I am, chapters will be coming out slower. I'm trying my best to hurry with this, because its hectic having 5 stories going at once, and I try not to get confused, but...**

_**Lost and Gained**_** will be getting better. That I can promise. When I started it I was just a little, too...un-literal. **

**Anyway, sense no one ever reads these...**

BPOV

There he stood – well, sat in his wheelchair – looking just the same as I remembered him. But even worse, he looked just like Jacob. It wrenched my heart in a way I hadn't felt in so long, like someone took my heart in their hands and twisted it. It hurt to see Billy Black. A sickening feeling permanently settled in my stomach.

After that awkward introduction we were ushered inside, and I wondered if Edward could feel how uneasy I was feeling. Maybe even slightly nauseous. It brought back those feelings and memories of Jacob's and my life. Things we did together, what we used to do when we came down to see Billy...and Charlie. Billy brought back things I didn't think I should be thinking about anymore.

It was months before the thought of Jacob even crossed my mind. And here I am, about to share a night with all my friends and family, only to be interrupted by these horrible and aching memories. Now, where is the fairness in that? Jacob has to be my last thought, I told myself.

After all, where is the fairness in me thinking about Jacob while I'm with Edward?

Edward broke off into the living room, where all the guys were already relaxed and drinking, shouting at the TV. I noticed he really seemed to blend with that kind of situation. Before Billy and I could share any words, he wheeled himself after Edward's figure. For a second I was worried he might roll over my foot out of pure anger, but I didn't feel a single pang of pain. That somewhat eased my anxiety.

Well, no pain in my foot. There was a lot of pain elsewhere.

I immediately dashed for the kitchen, barely taking in how familiar everything looked and yet so different it was from the last time I had been here. I wondered what Edward was thinking, being in his childhood house, the one he'd abandoned for reasons I wasn't too sure of.

The kitchen was where everything seemed to be happening.

All the girls were in there, leaning against the counters and talking furiously. The smell of turkey was thicker here than the front hall and was accented with many other smells I couldn't place. Esme was just embracing Alice and handing her a glass of wine when I entered.

"Bella!" Esme sang, starting over in my direction and wrapping her arms around me. She seemed of sweet lavender. "I'm so glad you could make it. Where's Edward?" she whispered in my ear.

Before I answered I wondered what Esme thought of all this. It wasn't the first time I was curious of what she thought of us and this whole situation. I mean, it was completely wack. "Hanging out with the guys," I mumbled back, and couldn't stop the sour note because "those guys" included Billy Black.

She pulled back and smoothed a hand over my hair – a soothing gesture. I frowned, pulling away from her, but didn't bother asking about her kindness. We stood around the island of the kitchen, lounging against counters.

"I was just telling," Esme said, "Alice and Rose about the renovations Carlisle and I have recently done to the place. Oh, Bella, you should really see it. Absolutely beautiful!" I smiled at her kindly, but I didn't feel the happy expression fully on my face.

"Oh, Bella," Rose sighed.

"C'mere." Alice wrapped her arms around my neck and I lay my head on her shoulder, wondering if they knew just what this all did to me. "Its okay, Bella," she cooed, running a hand over my hair. As much as I enjoyed the comfort I had to push her away. I was getting that feeling of being a child when she spoke to me like that.

"Why is he here?" I asked as gently as possible, looking at Esme.

She gave me a somewhat sympathetic look, mixed with a little guilt. "Well, Carlisle was helping fix Billy's truck because it broke down the other day, and without thinking he just invited him to dinner. Its completely innocent, he'll be out of here in about two hours."  
"No, no, its fine," I said quickly. "I was just...shocked, that's all." I shrugged like it didn't matter, but from the other room I could hear the boom of voices and easily pick out that deep and husky voice. I exhaled loudly and forced a smile on my face.

For a moment there was silence and the need to know what everyone was thinking was stronger than it should have been. I wondered if it was a mistake to come here in the beginning. I grudgingly looked at the crystal glasses Alice, Rose and Esme held, filled with chrisom-colored liquid. I could bet my life that they weren't drinking non-alcoholic wine.

"So, how's this whole Edward-and-baby thing going, Bella?" Esme asked, amusement in her voice.

I gave her a level look. Sure I hadn't seen her sense years before the lunch with Edward, and she hadn't seen Edward sense...way longer than a few years, only talked to him – how does she know he hasn't changed? This had to be the second time Esme got to see Edward in years – well, I guess sense he moved out at such that ripe age. "Its fine, thank you," I said tightly.

"You guys haven't move in together yet?"

"No," I sighed. That was the one things that bugged me most – I didn't know how to bring it up! What if he didn't want to? What if he thought it was a bad idea? I couldn't just go up to him and say _Hey, Edward, let's move in together because I don't want our child to grow up in a dismembered household._ Something told me he wouldn't go for that. "We haven't talked about it."

"Than what do you guys do?" Alice put in, somewhat incredulously. "You go on dates all the time, your always at the guys' apartment!"

Heat rose on my cheeks under the pressure of the three sets of eyes. "Well when we go out, I tease him and we talk about nothing really. I don't know, we just don't focus on that kind of thing I guess." I shrugged.

"Ah, and then you guys get down when your at the guys' place," Rosalie observed. Only she would say that about her own brother.

"That is none of your business," I said seriously, pointing at her briefly. "You don't want to know about those kinds of things of your own brother, do you?" I looked at Esme. "Or son?"

Rosalie had her game face on. "Bella, some of us are curious about how Edward is changing from casual sex to commitment. So...how _is_ it going?" she inquired.

I scowled at her pretty face. "Everything's fine," I replied simply. "Nothing interesting to report and nothing bad to say. Easy." I shrugged. I knew Rosalie was far from done with her hard ass attitude and that more and more questions would come. But they didn't actually press me into it.

From then on they only spoke about how _well_ Rosalie's and Alice's relationships were going, what they were up to and such. I guess the conversation between Rose and her parents had been slim. While they all talked – and I stood back – Esme busted around the kitchen, getting everything ready for dinner. I noticed the ancient wood table in the conjoining dining room was replaced with a modern glass surface, a huge decorative centerpiece dominating the center.

Everything was going fine until I heard a distinctive hiss. "Bella!" I turned around, following the girls' eyes. "I need to talk to you now," Edward said stiffly, gesturing to the front hall. I looked back at Esme, rolled my eyes and followed him out.

He stood in the hall out of sight from both parties. I stood in front of him, gazing up at his face – it was filled with pure anger. Before I could say anything, Edward said, "Bella, can we please go now? That freaky bastard won't stop staring at me, I'm one second away from punching my father in the face, and no one will shut up about the Goddamn baby!"

I felt my eyebrows raise in a sad gesture. I guess I thought he was over that whole negative thinking process of the baby.

Edward sighed, wrapping his arms around my waist and dropped his forehead to my shoulder. His breath washed my skin. "I didn't mean that," he mumbled. "About the baby, I mean. But I do want to go back to Seattle now."

My head slowly shook. I could feel myself taking pity on him, taking pity to this whole situation. I put my hand on the back of his head. "We can't just up and leave. And besides, Edward, isn't this the first time you've seen your dad in years, decades? How can you want to give that up?" I wondered.

"He doesn't fucking like me, Bella," he hissed, shifting so more of his weight was pressing against me. "He's not impressed that I have 'manipulated a young, beautiful woman and forced her to have my child.' That's how much love he's got for me, okay? Please, can we just go back? He doesn't even want to see me!" There was sadness in his voice I'd never heard before, a pain that was so fresh to his tongue.

"We'll leave after supper, I promise," I complied, trying to disguise how much I didn't want that.

When Edward looked up again I could tell he was much more relieved. "Okay. So how's it going in there, exactly?" He looked over my shoulder in the direction of the kitchen.

"Its something like twenty questions," I told him, rolling my eyes. "Rosalie is acting up again. You know, I really thought she lightened up, but I guess not."

"She never has." He paused. "I think." Edward leaned down and kissed my cheek, and when he pulled back he rubbed his palms together. "Okay, have fun," he said sarcastically. "I'll try not to kill anyone, but I'm not making any promises."

"I wouldn't expect you to."

**Crappy chapter. Really crappy. I hate it, sorry. But I thought you all deserved something because I won't be able to update too often due to other activities. **

**Remember: Follow me on Twitter! MickeyAJHealey! **


	32. Dinner PT2

**Thanks to all the reviews! **

**I have to say, in addition to one review, that my favourite part of this story is that the Cullens aren't the perfect family most stories have them as. Plus, Edward's siblings aren't Emmett or Alice! **

The tension was as visible as if there was an electric force connecting the three of them. I could see the discomfort between Edward and Carlisle, because they never looked at each other through dinner. Instead, conversations focused around the table between certain people, and as much as I wished Billy away, he and Carlisle kept a steady conversation. Esme, Alice, and Rose were catching up while Emmett and Jasper talked about crappy sports. Edward was downing beers like a drunk.

"Edward," I whispered, gently taking the glass bottle from his hand and setting it on the coaster on the glass surface. "Please stop. You're going to be too drunk to drive us home." At the mention of "home" he visibly perked up, nodding seriously and wiping his eyes. He was looking quite tired at this point.

Earlier conversations had circulated around my stomach, but I could hear the unspoken questions and see how uncomfortable this made Billy. And though that did bring me some kind of sick satisfaction, I pitied his presence on his own account. The talk was quick – thanks to a very unkind smartass comment by Edward – but looking at Carlisle I could see a thousand questions mixing in his eyes, which I also noticed were like little mirrors of Edward's own. I think the astonishment still circulated through the people that have been used to the pregnancy.

"Its getting late, why don't you guys stay the night?" I looked at Esme in astonishment. "And Edward looks a little impaired," she added hesitantly, biting her lip while looking at her son.

Edward looked back at her with an angry and annoyed expression. "There's no fucking way I'm staying in this cock-blowing house," he slurred, his chest heaving as he pointed his finger at Esme.

She looked taken aback by his words.

"Edward," Carlisle cautioned, and when I looked at him I saw his pinched-red face.

But he was cut off. "Don't you tell me what the fuck to do," Edward snapped. My head fell into my hands in embarrassment. Yes, he was _really_ showing everyone up and proving what a great father he'll be. And most importantly, this was a horrible example to Billy Black of where this all stands now.

As I really thought about the situation I realized that embarrassment didn't even cover it. All the guests seemed to take themselves away from the conversation, sitting back and staying silent. When I saw Rosalie lean forward, I knew this would not end well.

Esme cleared her throat once, but it was Carlisle who spoke. "Clearly, you haven't changed much." His eyes settled on mine for a second, and I saw an emotion there that I'd never seen before: Hatred. But soon enough Carlisle was back to glaring at Edward. "I would have thought you'd be happier to see your family."

"The only reason I came here is because of Bella," Edward spat. "Not for 'my fucking family.'" His air-quoted.

Was he turning this on me? I felt the heat rise on my cheeks for an instant under the heavy embarrassment of the situation.

"Yes, we're clearly not your first priority sense you moved back to Washington." Carlisle's eyes swept over me again, then Rosalie. "I suppose you have other responsibilities now, other mistakes to take care of, don't you?"

Even my mouth dropped.

"Dad!" Rosalie shrieked. "You didn't just call your future grandchild a fucking mistake, did you?" This wasn't Carlisle Cullen, that I was sure of. The last time I'd seen him had been possibly years, but he'd never acted so out of line. He wasn't judgemental. From the look of Rose's face she couldn't believe this either.

"I call it like I see it," he said dismissively to his daughter.

I looked at Edward but his eyes were ahead, glaring at his father. Through the tension everyone started to disperse and leave Edward and Carlisle to their argument. I didn't want to leave a drunk Edward with a pissed of father, because I knew nothing good would come of it. But Emmett grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the chair as he started toward the living room; Jasper followed closely behind while the girls went the opposite direction, outside to the patio.

Billy left with Esme's assistance out the door, calling a quiet goodbye to everyone.

"Emmett, maybe you should go referee," I suggested, casting a worried look back into the kitchen. I couldn't see them from my angle on the couch.

"Why? Edward can take care of himself," he replied dismissively, in a trance from the TV.

I sighed. "Not Edward – Carlisle! Edward's drunk, he'll kill him for fuck's sake!"

Jasper snorted from the armchair on the other side of the room. "Yeah, right. Edward's not the stupid."

"You wanna bet?"

"Your on."

I just rolled my eyes at him. Like I was really all that interested in a bet on whether or not Edward would kill Carlisle. But I angled my elbow at Emmett's ribs and gestured to the kitchen once, where there was a buzz of two male voices. He shook his head stubbornly. I sighed and frowned, but sat back on the couch to feign interest in the TV.

After eating I always got tired sense I started the second trimester, so I laid my head down on Emmett's lap and closed my eyes. I felt his hand on the back of my head, stroking my hair softly. "Just go to sleep, Bella, and this will all be over soon."

***

"Bellaaa...Bellaaa...Baby, please wake up, I want to go home."

Without opening my eyes I knew who it was. I sighed, flexing my neck; Emmett wasn't under me anymore. Just barely, I cracked my eyes open. "What?" I mumbled quietly, staring up at Edward's face in the dim light.

He was sitting cross-legged in front of the couch and resting his chin on the edge of the couch. "I don't want to stay here tonight," he repeated. "Can we please go back?"

I rolled closer to him, my eyes fluttering slightly. "Are you okay?" I whispered, reaching up to feel the shininess on his cheek. It was damp and his eyes were red. "Were you crying?"

Edward closed his eyes, burying his face into couch. I ran my fingers through his silky hair. "I just want to go home."

"Edward, this is your home."

For a second he looked up to scowl. "Not funny. I want to go home, please. Let's just go," he pleaded. There was genuine sadness in his eyes that made me feel a pinch of sympathy. I sat up quickly, swinging my legs over so my feet were on the ground. A wave of dizziness hit me like a tidal wave, but I shook it off.

"What time is it?"

"Nine."

I frowned at him, partly because everyone just allowed me to sleep like that. "We won't be home for forever," I whined, yawning just as the final word got out of my mouth. "And I'm tired."

"It's the pregnancy," Edward said, knowledgably. I nodded, my hand finding its way atop my baby bump and staring down at it. I wondered if I'd ever get used to this, having this big hard bump in the way. He called my attention back immediately: "Do you want to stay tonight?" I nodded again, deciding against speaking. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, Edward," I sighed. "We'll stay tonight and go back to Seattle tomorrow, okay?"

He scowled. "God, you didn't have to be so grumpy about it," he mumbled, heaving himself up and offering me his hand.

**As you can tell, I don't do long chapters for this story. They're little and spaced out. Love me for it!**


	33. Esme's Thoughts

**This chapter is like all talk and no description. Haha, I wrote this in about two hours, so I'm very proud. Still. Thought I'd update before I go to bed.**

"Just put a smile on your little pouty face and deal with it," Emmett teased.

I raised my eyebrows. "You may want to watch it, Em. He is not too impressed," I warned.

"Yeah, Emmett," Edward agreed, voice sarcastic, "fuck off. We're going to bed." He grabbed my hand and started walking toward the staircase, but I neglected.

"Wait, Edward, one second." I went back into the kitchen to say goodnight to Esme and the girls. It wasn't that I didn't want to talk to Carlisle but I didn't think I could face him quite yet.

With a quick goodnight to Rose and Alice, I spent a few more seconds talking to Esme in private. I felt like the air had to be cleared between us, because on every occasion I was here it was never like this. This whole thing between Edward and I was a little on the screwed side.

"I'm really sorry," I told her truthfully. "He's just... Esme, he just hates Carlisle."

She smiled slightly. "Its our fault." I opened my mouth to protest, but she waved me off. "No, Bella, it really is. We drove him away and then when he moved back to Washington, we wanted him back. It just...it just doesn't work like that. He doesn't want us, clearly, so this isn't happening again," she said, laughing once as if this was funny.

I shifted on my feet. Swollen ankles and standing for long periods just didn't mix well. "Esme—"

"Bella, its not your fault. This was meant to happen – Edward's a little on the _messed up _side. I know that sounds wrong but its true."

"Uh, Esme, I really don't want to disagree with you, but Edward is fine. He's changed." I took a deep breath. "You would know that if you and Carlisle hadn't let him go in the first place. You need to give him a chance, he really has changed..." Having to have this conversation was hurting, but I could say with for sure that Esme and Carlisle didn't know Edward. Sure they occasionally got information through Rosalie, but they didn't know what was going on with him.

But I for sure did know Edward inside and out.

"Your right, Bella," Esme said quietly, voice strained. "I...I do know that this is my mistake, but I don't need you telling me what I've done wrong with my so—"

"Bella!" _Please just go away! _I thought, shutting my eyes tight, like that would stop the voice. "Could you hurry up in there? I want to go to bed!"

"Yeah, Edward, I'm coming!" I called back exasperated.

"Not without me your not!"

My mouth fell open and rather the embarrassment I should have felt, I was feeling anger. "Edward, shut up!" I snapped.

There was a grin in his voice when he replied: "Just don't turn the hormones on, please!"

I turned back to Esme; she was wearing a sort of sad smile. "We have a love-hate relationship."

She nodded as she polished off the crystal glass of red wine. Apparently Edward wasn't the only one to pull them back when under stress. "Do you love him?" she asked suddenly.

This was the question I was so used to from Edward, but never anyone else. I pursed my lips. "Not yet." _But I plan to. _

"So you expect you guys will be together for a long time?"

My eyebrows pulled together in confusion. What place was Esme in to question this kind of thing? "And you don't?" I asked sarcastically, but she replied without a sense. My anger was gone just like that and all I could feel was numbness from a new hurt feeling.

"Well, Bella, you know his history." It was like this wasn't even Esme Cullen. "Sex and partying. He doesn't know how to keep down a relationship and all he can do is keep a job. You have to understand that he's not worth your time – of even offering genetics to your child."

At this point I didn't know what to think. What kind of train of thought would be appropriate for this? She was trying to get me to break it off with her son, the father of my child? Plus a man who is really making great progress in the whole "father" standard? "Esme, how the _fuck_ can you say that?"

"Language," she muttered. I didn't even apologize. "Look, I don't want this to come out the wrong way, but between you and I I think your making a bad mistake. Edward has done so much to regret and he's only going to bring you down to his lev—"

"Good night, Esme," I said, dramatically loud to drown out her words. _What if I started to _believe_ her? _"Thank you for letting us stay," I said carefully, "we'll be out first thing in the morning."

"Oh, Bella, that's not necessary—"

"Yes. It is," I said sharply, turning away. For the first time, Esme really disgusted me.

Edward was waiting where I left him, totally abandoned by Emmett. He was fiddling with his pager and his cell phone in the other. "Hospital?" I guessed, and he nodded without looking up. "Are we going to bed or not?" I asked, quickly swiping the pager from his left hand.

"Cute, Bella. Give it back," he said seriously. I relented because I knew I didn't want to fight with him now. "Thanks." He continued to fumble around with the two objects, oblivious to the world around him.

That, and his achy pregnant girlfriend. "Edward, seriously, I'm in pain here," I whined. "If we're going let's go."

"Sorry." He shoved the cell phone and pager back in his jean pockets. "Yeah, let's go," he agreed, grabbing my hand and pulling me up the stairs.

"Slowly! Slower, slower." It was like there was a little pulse in my ankles all by their self. "Kankles and walking fast don't mix well."

Edward laughed, but stopped pulling me like I was still as athletically capable of speed. "Kankles?"

"Fat ankles," I said knowledgably. I smiled up at him somewhat mockingly and started pulling him down the hallway. "We're sleeping in _my_ favourite room in this house," I told him.

"Please tell me that that includes some kind of hot, kind of kinky stuff."

I looked up at him, truly curious. "Is that all you think about? Sex?" He shrugged. "Well don't get yourself too worked up because your not getting any tonight."

"Uhh, Bella," he whined. "Why do you do this to me? This is, like, the perfect time to get all hot and...out there?"

With my hand on my hip and my free hand on the doorknob I said, "Why?"

"Because my parents are in the house," he admitted quietly, that I wondered if I heard him right.

"You are a kinky bastard!" I snapped, but a slight smile betrayed my face.

Edward shook his head, taking a step toward me and putting his hand on the mind. "Just one that wants to kill their parents and make them here the glorious sex sounds of love."

"_Love?" _

He rolled his eyes. "Only the love I have for you, Bella. I like how your not ashamed to say you don't love me," he said thoughtfully. "Kinda hurts though."

"Aww, muffin!" I cooed, pinching his cheek like elderly ladies always do to children on TV. He frowned down at me, but there was that sparkle in his eye. "C'mon, let's go to bed," I sighed, pushing open the door. I flicked on the lights to the black room and grinned to myself.

The Cullen house was most certainly a beautiful mansion, which didn't have any exceptions to their accommodations. This was my favourite room because of the light gold to white-ish tones – and the queen-sized bed that provided the most comfortable night's rest. The ceiling was high and the far window was all shiny glass; the bathroom was massive and all tiled white, with a huge Jacuzzi.

In the dresser was a few pairs of my old clothes that I kept here just in case, the items that I rarely wore on a daily basis.

"Wow, very nice," Edward said in awe.

"I don't see why you left," I told him. "I mean, look at this place! And the money. I would put up with the attitude if it meant that I would get almost anything I want."

"Well by the sounds of it, you and Alice took my place here." He added, "And it seems like you _did_ get everything you want from my parents. No, from Esme and Carlisle."

I fell back onto the bed, sighing and closing my eyes in satisfaction. The way this bed just _caressed_ my body... I turned on my side as if I was going to sleep, even though I was facing the wrong direction.

"I'm surprised how childish you are," I told him, eyes closed. "They're your parents, no matter if you like it or not."

The mattress dipped and his hands started feeling up my torso. "I don't like it," he said stubbornly.

"I know that." I mimicked his tone of voice. Edward's hands slipped off me when I sat up slowly and propped myself up. It was like having a ball stuck to your abdomen: you can't sit right. "Will you not get all sexual if I sleep in my bra and underwear?" I asked seriously.

He paused for a moment, propping his head up in his elbows and kicking his shoes off without trouble. "So, no matter what I do you won't go for one romp?"

"Yes," I agreed.

"Then go for it," he grumbled. "Just don't be surprised if you wake up to me having to wank to my imagination."

I snorted at the thought of him having to satisfy himself like that – even doing it in the bed beside me. "I like how you can shamelessly say that," I told him, slapping his ass quickly before standing up.

I stripped off my clothes until I was pretty much half-naked and tossed them to the side. It wasn't cold in the room, but it wasn't warm either, so I quickly jumped into the bed and under the blankets. Edward slowly followed after turning off the lights and I wasn't sure what it was about this situating that he didn't like. Sleeping in a place he hadn't been in in years, maybe. Edward pulled me closer to him so his face was inches from mine. I leaned up to press a hard kiss to his lips.

"You know, I like you sleeping like this because this bra is hardly supportive." I felt his hands starting up my stomach and I shivered, pushing him away. "Are you sure you don't want to—"

"Good night, Edward," I said loudly, drowning him out just as I had done to Esme.

**Wow, I feel proud and accomplished. All this is two hours! Holy shit!**


	34. Loud and Horny

**Thanks to the reviews!!**

**By the way, I am starting the whole Livejournal thing! **.com/

I wasn't surprised how I work up the following morning. It was a typical Edward movement, a typical thing for him to do in the first place. Slowly moving his hands in different places and his lips in others.

But I pushed him away before I even got the chance to open my eyes. "Edward...stop it," I mumbled. "You just woke me up."

"That was the point, Bella," he said matter-of-factly, his hand slipping under the waist band of my underwear. I let out a collective hiss, closing my eyes and breathing heavy in anticipation.

It wasn't like I didn't know this would happen, but I just loved to tease him, to get him hard and make him have to deal with for any amount of time. But I still was not expecting that kind of wake up. "Get your hand away from me." I reached under the blankets to push his invading hand away but it only clung to my thigh. That fire was starting to simmer where his hand had been. "Stop touching me."

"Oh, Bella, you like it," he taunted throatily. He went back in for the kill. "See?" The way that man could just work some kind of internal magic was amazing.

"Edward," I moaned, repeating it over and over until it sounded much more firm. I think it made me sound like I was begging or desperate for _it_. "Please, can we talk?"

He looked up from where he had been watching his work over the hill that was my stomach. "What about?"

"About my talk with Esme last night."

With a sigh, he pulled his fingers out of me and stuck them in his mouth. I watched as he sucked on them for about ten seconds before laying down beside. Clearly he needed _something_ because Edward did _not_ talk about parent-related stuff. "Okay, baby, let's hear it."

"Your mom's mean," I complained. "I don't know how she can say this stuff to me, like a...a..." I was at a loss for words.

"A bitch?" Edward offered, somewhat teasingly.

I deliberated the word. It was harsh but I suppose it was true. "I guess... I don't know. She's just so cruel, Edward. You need to prove something to her, but I don't know what."

He raised his eyebrows. "Prove?"

"Prove that..." The idea came almost instantly. "Prove that your in love with me and your over all this immature, casual sex stuff." I lowered my voice to mutter: "Every though your immaturity is a forever thing."

Everything that was said last night was not only uncalled for, but very out of line. Esme and Carlisle did not know their son: they only knew of the things that Rose told them. Edward didn't want anything to do with them, and I'd forced him to drive down to have dinner with them, which royally messed things up. It was also fair to say that they didn't know me anymore. They couldn't decide that Edward can't be faithful when they didn't know everything that had happened in the past few months.

I didn't even know that they were so judgemental.

"My immaturity level," Edward was saying, "will rub off on you and be embedded in my child's brain."

"Lord, help him!" I cried dramatically.

"That's not very nice," he insisted. "But that's what attracted you to me first, right? My outstanding confidence that goes hand-in-hand with impeccable immaturity."

I shook my head. "No, it was the fact that you had a nice body and a dick," I said shamelessly. "That's all I wanted at that point."

His eyebrows drew together in thought. "Ah, so I was your little disposable sex toy?"

"Not so disposable," I murmured, running my fingers through his hair and locking them around the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him down toward my mouth. I gave him a hard kiss. "What time is it?"

"Eight-thirty."

I groaned. "So early. Well, let's get dressed and we can go home," I suggested.

"You know, Bella," Edward said, kind of confused. "You always say 'home' when we don't live together."

My eyebrows pulled together. "We live down the hallway from each other and we're always, like, together. Home, Edward," I said sarcastically.

"But we don't really live together," he pointed out.

"Are you asking me to move in with you?" I teased, pinching his cheek. He always hated that.

"If I asked, would you?"

I frowned. "Edward, stop answering questions with questions. Yes or no."

He smirked. "Just answer me. If I say to you right now, 'Bella's let's go buy a house' what would you say?"

"'You are paying, right?'" I tried desperately to cover my excitement up with sarcasm. This is what I've wanted, what I've been waiting for.

He rolled his eyes. "Seriously, Bella. Answer me." He was getting agitated.

"Fine," I said, exasperated. "I do want to move in with you. I've been thinking about it for forever. I think its best. Happy now?" I grumbled.

Edward looked at me incredulously, sitting up straight. "Then why haven't you brought it up?" he exclaimed.

"I was waiting for you bring it up." I paused. "Wait I did bring it up, but we didn't talk about it!"

"Oh, baby, you need to grow a backbone," he teased. "Do you realize we could have been fifty and still living separately? You really should have brought this up sooner. Your already in your second trimester!"

"What do you want me to say? I'm sorry?"

"Nah, that's okay because your already forgiven," he said dismissively. I gave him a what-the-fuck look, but didn't bother to ask because I had other things on my mind.

"I'm really hungry."

"Of course you are," he said. "We'll grab something on the way back home."

"Where?" I challenged, because I was absolutely starving.

He shrugged. "In Port Angeles."

"I don't know if I can hold out that long," I admitted. "I didn't get up in the night for a snack, so I am absolutely starved now."

"Funny 'cause you never would eat before," Edward reminded me. "You used to go hungry."

I shrugged, but didn't say anything because he was right.

We fell back into that every-so natural way of ours, the one thing that we did best. The one thing that was increasing now, in the second trimester, was the sex drive. It was awesome and constant, and Edward never complained once. A few times we couldn't satisfy that need because either I was tired or sick, or he was busy with work. All the feelings intensified with the new, larger sex drive.

"Told you you wanted it," he murmured. "You always want it."

EPOV

"_Meee_?" Bella moaned as I shoved the building erection between her awaiting legs, rubbing around the material of her underwear that covered her pussy.

I reached a hand down and pressed my palm against her covered clit, listening to her heavy breathing. On contact, her hands fisted around my forearm and pressed me closer, moving her hips a little to gain more friction. "Slow down, Bella," I said, unclenching her hands from their death-grip. Secretly I guess I did want her to get so hot and bothered so she would be just that much louder during the act.

After last night, all I wanted to do was piss my parents off. Show them that I could commit to a woman. And of course that's overly childish.

"No, Edward, please just hurry." I watched, perplexed as Bella reached behind her and unhooked her bra, tossing it to the floor.

My. Favourite. Things. _Ever._

"Please fuck me," she begged breathily. "Please, please, plea—"

"You don't have to beg, baby," I laughed, kneeling between her legs and slipping off her underwear. The smell of her pussy was musky and thick in the air and just smelt so _good_. I quickly pulled off my sweats and watched the change on her face.

Sure. She loves my dick but not _me_?

"Turn around, Bella." She was quick to roll over onto all fours, sticking her ass up in the air. The way she glanced over her shoulder at me was the biggest turn on ever.

Without another second of delay, I shoved my dick inside of her slick pussy, causing us both to yell out in pleasure. My trusts got faster and harder, deeper and just as hard as I watched myself disappearing inside her, sliding back out again.

"Fuck, Bella," I groaned, when she started moving back to take more of it. The sounds she was making was filling the room and echoing around us. I hoped my parents heard it all.

Those asses deserved it all.

"Ah, ah, ah...ahh!" she called out with each trust. Holding her hips from behind wasn't working for me so I grabbed onto the tops of her thighs, bringing her back to me at the same time I pushed in.

Just how Bella liked I started talking dirty to her. "C'mon, baby. Cum on me, baby. That's right, right there," I moaned. I felt her ready to tighten around me, and as collective moans and calls escaped her mouth, her orgasm shook her body.

I continued thrusting until I came inside her, kissing around her back and neck as I shot and coated her insides.

"I love you," I told her for the millionth time. And because of how much I said it I was used to her reply:

"I know."

**Review!**


	35. Cold Heart

BPOV

"You know," I said, "you're a sick bastard for wanting your parents to hear us having sex."

He rolled his eyes. "A sick bastard I will be, but never in a million years will _you_ call those people my parents. Bella, they're fuck-ups."

I raised my eyes brows as I pulled my pants (ugly, stretchy, pregnancy ones) on from last night. "And your much better?" I demanded. "Its not like you acted that mature your whole life, Edward. You are the one that emancipated at the age of sixteen and moved to Chicago with people you didn't know. You are the one you has mommy and daddy problems. You are the one that turned to sex to cool the issues, like a horrible episode of _Two and a Half Men_," I said in disgust, words tumbling. "You are the one—"

"Oh, thanks, Bella," Edward said dramatically. He scowled and said in a harsh voice, "I get it. I'm _the one_." He mumbled something under his breath that I didn't catch.

I pulled a new shirt out of the drawer, an old worn T-shirt that I knew would never fit. "Goddamn..." I muttered, frustrated. "It won't even go over my fucking boobs." I threw it back in the drawer and looked for something a little looser fitting. Everything fit my pre-baby body, not my four-month-pregnant belly. "Edward, can I wear your sweater?"

"Yeah, whatever," he answered, tossing it on the floor beside me. I sighed, pulling a random white shirt over my head and slipping his overly large zip-up on.

"So what was it that you just said?" I asked. "You mumbled something or whatever. What was it?"

He looked at me darkly. "Apparently, I'm not your _the one_," he replied sourly. "You loved him, Bella, and he was a dick. Why not me?"

"Edward, I can't just _love_ someone," I replied, just as sour. "I have to feel it. I know you love me, and I believe it, but I don't know how I feel about you after all these months. I know things aren't going horribly, you just need to be patient. Please," I begged, than added, "Wait, did you just call yourself a dick?"

He pursed his lips for a moment. "Uh, yeah, I guess I did. But what's it matter 'cause you always call me a dick, an ass, a bastard—"

"Okay, I get it," I interrupted. "You're a bunch of bad names. I know."

"That's not what I meant," he grumbled.

I shrugged, wrapping my arms around my chest. "Can we _please_ go now?"

"Yeah, sure." He finished buttoning his jeans around his hips and pulled his T-shirt down. "Are we leaving without the others?"

"They got here in one vehicle, they can do it again," I told him dismissively. "I just want to get out of here."

"I fully agree." He nodded, grabbing my hand and pulling me for the door. I stumbled along but caught myself quickly, understanding why he was treating me like a ragdoll: Edward just wanted to be back in Seattle.

We started down the stairs quietly, both hoping to escape unnoticed. It was past nine now and Alice was always up bright and early; I didn't know about anyone else, though, so we went on instinct.

There were sounds and sweet smells coming from the kitchen. The biggest scent was the irresistible smell of bacon. I prayed I was hallucinating or we wouldn't be leaving the house any time soon, which would evidentially end in an argument between Edward and I.

Before I got to put much thought into it, I heard a familiar gasp. "You guys are up!" Alice cheered, skipping out into the hallway where we were paused. She gave me a quick hug. "And dressed," she said slowly.

"We're heading out," Edward muttered, juggling his keys in his hands.

Alice nodded, biting her lip in understanding. "Okay. I don't think we're heading out until afternoon."

"All right," I said. "I'll see you later then."

"'Kay." She looked at Edward, somewhat mockingly. I'm pretty sure she was having some kind of fun with this whole situation. "Bye, _Edward_." Her voice was even teasing.

He shook his head, lips pressed. "I'll meet you outside," he muttered, turning and banging the door closed behind him. The frame shook from the impact.

I looked at Alice. "That wasn't nice. You know he's having a hard time."

"But you have to admit," she giggled, "it is kind of fun to yank his chain."

"I'm the only one who gets to yank his chain," I told her seriously. She laughed louder. "Uh, your so immature," I groaned, elbowing her ribs.

"Bye, Bella," she burst between laughing as I headed for the door. "You have fun yanking his chain!"

I glanced back at her. "Tell everyone we say 'goodbye.'" She didn't respond but nodded, and that was all the confirmation I needed.

It was freezing outside, bone-chilling cold. I crossed my arms over my chest and my teeth chattered against each other. Edward was already sitting in the car; I hoped it was warming up before I could die of the cold. I quickly jumped in, slamming the door behind me.

"Its so cold," I muttered, turning up the heat on the dashboard. Edward gingerly pushed my hand away and I didn't bother to argue; this vehicle as important to him, almost like a life-source.

"What's her problem?" he grumbled. I looked up and saw Alice standing in the doorway of the house, still laughing.

I cracked a smile. "She has sex on the mind," I told him half-heartedly. "She's kind of playing around with the sexual jokes and all."

"Weird," he commented.

I shrugged. "But that's Alice," I told him. "She's always a little on the perverted side. But so is everyone else in this big family, so."

"What was she saying?" Edward asked cautiously, his fingers playing with the keys in the ignition.

"Well," I laughed, "it all circled around 'yanking your chain'."

To my surprise Edward threw his head back and laughed. "Yanking the chain, huh? That'd be really nice, Bella," he said seriously.

"Can we just get going?" I asked, annoyed. "I'm really hungry."

He raised an eyebrow. "Bella, you did not just help the cause," he said. "If your really hungry, I have something for you to eat."

I exhaled as if he'd just given me breath, squeezing my legs together tightly and biting my lip until I felt a loss of blood there. How those words could just trigger that kind of need, I had no idea, but suddenly I wasn't hungry for actually food in my mouth; why was I already breathing heavily?

"Don't tease me," I squeaked, serious. This was no joking matter as a pregnant woman.

Finally, he pulled out of the drive. "I'm not. Feel free to suck," he said darkly, his own voice grave with want.

"That is so teasing!" I accused. "Do you realize what you've done to me? This underwear is completely ruined!"

"Calm down, I was just kidding."  
"Well, you owe me something when we get back," I snapped. "You have made me so damn horny right now—"

"So horny that you want to touch yourself?" Edward asked, hands fisted around the steering wheel. I couldn't believe the dirty talking that was going on this early in the morning.

Plus the reaction it was getting out of my own body.

I narrowed my eyes at him. This was a new step up from Edward's usual dirty talk actually during sex. And I knew I could definitely get used to it.

"Are you asking me to touch myself in front of you?" I asked, precisely emphasizing the words to watch him squirt in his seat.

"That would be so hot."

I smiled slightly, filing that away for later. "Right," I said thoughtfully. "I'll relieve this as soon as we're back in Seattle." I gently tapped his thigh once, right beside his bulge.

Edward drove back into Forks so we could take a direct route through Port Angeles and to Seattle. We were going slowly down the road when I started to feel the effects.

My knees pulled up to my chest and my chin resting on my knees, I asked Edward if we could take a little bit of a detour. I directed him to the street and he seemed a little hesitant. I watched the trees and the houses go by, until we came to Charlie's house.

I've thought of this place for the past few months, the different things I could say to explain myself to him. I've thought of how to tell him that I'm pregnant. He had to be wondering what was going on with me by now, assuming the news of Jacob and I passed through Billy to Charlie. I knew I wasn't ready to see him yet, but somehow I wanted to be reassured that he was still okay. That he was doing okay. His police cruiser wasn't parked out front and there were no lights on; he was probably working again.

My heart scrunched and I noticed Edward had stopped in front of the house.

"Do you want to go in?" he asked quietly, as if building himself up.

"No," I mumbled, still staring at the small house. "I can't do it. I'll call him when we get back."

And with that, Edward drove off, and I felt myself slowly breaking inside again as I thought of the absence of my father.

**There will not be another update for awhile. I am so sorry but they will vary and be stingy. **


	36. Author's Note :

Everyone knows that an Author's Note is never something exciting.

And that's just what this is: Nothing exciting.

This is being posted to every one of my stories because I need to take a much needed break from it all. As you all can tell the updates are getting short and lifeless, and I absolutely feel horrible because of it. Some stories are marked today as a month sense the last update, and as an author, that it kind of a bitch to think of. All stories are being put on hold. Its my fault for writing five stories at a time, so all you can do is blame me – just don't make me feel bad!

Um...there was more to say...Oh yeah. There may be a few updates here and there, but I think right now the story I am going to put all my focus into is Lost and Gained ( which may be this story, I don't know where this is posted right now ) , so please just forgive me for no updates.

I've been sick lately, school's getting tough, annoying and a total bitch, and ( if you follow me on Twitter!!!!!! ) last night was probably one of the scariest in my life, and I'm still trying to get over it.

Anyway, I am sorry for everything, hopefully I will get back on the writing track soon. Lost and Gained with probably be the first on my updating list and there may be a few here and there.

Sincerely,

SeraphimXOX/Mickey


	37. Last Call

I'm sure you all saw the Author's Note so I don't have much to say. Oh – follow me on Twitter, link on profile page!

BPOV

"How long do I have to wait?" Edward asked.

I shook my head. "Just be quiet," I sighed, pacing toward the window. I even had to look through my address book for my dad's number; it was like a cold glass of water being splashed in my face when I had to search for Charlie Swan through all the names. It ring four times before going to voice mail. I bit my lip so hard that it went numb when I heard his voice on the other. _"You've reached Charlie Swan, leave a message." _Bland as ever. But that was my dad.

Pressing the End button, I started to dial again, but there still was no response. His car hadn't been parked when we'd went past before, but I guess now I was really hoping that he would be home. I wondered if he ever missed me, what he thought that I didn't call him. I even wondered what he heard from big-mouth Billy. If I didn't tell Charlie myself, he would find out through someone else.

I set the phone down on the table of the boys' living room. "He isn't answering," I sighed, frowning. "I guess he's not home..."

"Come here, Bella," Edward said softly, opening his arms, but I shook my head.

"No, do you want something to eat?" I asked, wiping my cheeks of the invisible tears there. "I'll make it..." Without his answer I started toward the kitchen, in desperate relief of the pain in my chest. I guess because this apartment belonged to men I couldn't really expect much, in terms of _good_ food – though there sure as hell was a lot of junk. "Edward, what do you want?" I demanded sourly, almost whined because of his lack of response.

All I wanted was to get this whole thing off my mind – before I tried my dad again. I knew he wasn't ignoring me or anything; we probably just lost contact over time. Maybe he didn't want to bug me. I just hoped the reason was good and he still wanted to talk to me.

"Bella, if anything, I should be making you something to eat." I groaned in the back of my throat. "Go sit down," he commanded.

I bit my lip. "I don't want to," I told him quietly. "I don't want to relax."

"Who said anything about relaxing?" he asked darkly, quirking an eyebrow. One of his hands touched my hip gently, so softly that it almost tickled.

"I'm not in the mood anymore," I said, moving so I was out of his reach. Edward leaned against the counter, seeming a little depressed by the news I just broke to him. "Now, what do you want to eat?"

"We just ate," Edward said flatly. My mind briefly flashed back to the little breakfast-type thing we had in Port Angeles and I shuddered.

"That was hardly food, Edward. What do you want to eat?"

He grinned. "That." He gestured to me and I gasped in mock horror.

"My baby? You not eating my baby, Edward," I said sarcastically. "Why would you even think that's an option?"

He rolled his eyes but I saw the amusement. "No, I'd rather keep my child, thanks. I meant you."

"I'm not in the mood," I repeated firmly, turning and heading back into the living room to try my dad again.

I guess that, as a pregnant woman, the whole I'm-too-upset-for-sex doesn't last too long. However, just as we were finishing up, the hospital called, and just like that I was alone in a stinky apartment. I pulled on one of the maternity shirts I'd left here a while ago and Edward's boxers as I surveyed the room. I spent a lot of time here – mostly not by myself though – and I couldn't stand it messy, so his bedroom was fairly tidy.

Come to think of it, it kind of reminded me of a teenager's room, but like I didn't already know that Edward doesn't grow up or mature.

Catching sight of the computer I wondered what he did on the nights we weren't together. My mind went straight to the gutter on what one of those nights involved without me.

Waking the computer, I sat in the desk char, noticing how comfy yet worn it was. Yeah, he definitely did nightly activities here, I thought, laughing to myself. I clicked on the little History tab and the list opened in front of me, words down one side of the screen. I smiled at a few of the more conspicuous website titles on the list and clicked expand for the ones that were more discreet. It was somewhat _cute_, in an odd way, that Edward watched and enjoyed this kind of stuff.

Jacob, too, had been one of those porn-guys, and I never quite understood why he loved it so much; with Edward, it was more clear.

I pressed the small _x_ in the corner and wondered downstairs.

Grabbing the phone from the coffee table I dialled my dad's number again. This wasn't working, I should have stopped by his house instead. But before I had time to think about what could have happened, the dial tone stopped and a voice picked up.

"Hello?"

The air in my throat choked off and I coughed into the phone.

"Hello?" he persisted, voice edging toward annoyance.

"Hi, Dad," I said quietly, squeezing my eyes shut.

His voice was all shock. "Bella? Is that you?"

My heart thumped fast and painfully. "Uh, yeah, it is. Look, I'm really sorry I haven't called sooner, or talked to you in—"

"Forever," he finished flatly.

"I'm sorry," I repeated helplessly. I didn't know what else to say, and he seemed just as speechless.

On the other end of the phone, I heard voices, some deeper than others, and the TV going. It sounded like some kind of sports game, judging by that upbeat music. Why would a game be on this early? I thought

"Bella, when were you going to tell me you aren't with Jake anymore?" I chewed on the inside of my lip. "Or that you were in town yesterday?" He didn't sound angry, but disappointed. Disappointed in _me_.

"I should have known what a big mouth Billy has," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Actually, I've been seeing Billy and Jacob regularly for the last few months," Charlie said. "But I haven't seen you sense months before you and Jake, apparently, spilt."

I sat down on the couch, releasing my lip from my teeth. "Things weren't working out with us," I said seriously. "And...I'm happier now. I'm sorry I haven't called or seen you in...months...years, almost."

There was a beat of silence; my fingers tapped against my baby bump. "So, what? Are you going to come see me now, or do I have to beg? We do have a lot to talk about Bella. Billy said there's something you want to tell me."

Something I want to tell him? I wondered. What did I have to – oh. Right. My hand flattened over the curve of my stomach. "Right. Yeah. Uh, tonight? Is that okay?" Relaxation was the last thing on my mind. I would keep going all day if I could see my dad and tell him all about this stuff.

Charlie said, "Bella, I really hope you and Jake can work this stuff out. I heard what happened from Jacob and I'm sure you didn't mean it, honey – it can be fixed."

"What? What'd I do?" I demanded, sitting up straight. "You know, never mind, Dad. Don't bother saying anything. But..." I hesitated, wondering how to word this. "Does Jacob know what I have to tell you?"

"I don't think so," he said, a little confused. I could practically hear his eyebrows pull together, creasing lines in his forehead. "Billy said not to mention it to Jake. What happened, Bella?"

I sighed. "I'll tell you later, Dad. I promise. I'll be over at five."

"I love you, Bella."

Pause. "I love you, too, Dad," I said.

This chapter felt awkward to write, I hope you guys liked it.


	38. Mr and Mrs Swan

I'm feeling determined today – determined to finish this story for you all! I'm surprised how fast I got this out. I feel proud. :)

BPOV

I walked down the hall toward Edward's office, fidgeting. It was such a long drive to make back to Forks for me to make by myself and if I didn't get a head start, my timing would be totally screwed. I came to the familiar door, but hesitated instead of going right in. Pulling down the T-shirt I wore – which was quite uncomfortably tight – I opened the door to his office.

"Ow, shit!" said a familiar voice. I froze, the door just open a few feet. "Who the—"

"Edward?" I asked. The door swung open and he stood before me in a white lab coat, a silver clipboard in his hand. Edward's free hand was on the left side of his face. I grimaced, biting my lip to keep from laughing. "Are you okay, I'm so sorry," I sputtered.

His voice was pained. "Its fine, Bella, I'm already in a hospital, so it doesn't matter."

I gripped the strap of my purse. "Sorry to just...drop in, but—"

"What are you all dressed up for?" he interrupted, gently releasing the side of his face. "Going out with the girls?"

"Actually...I'm going to my dad's. I got a hold of him, and I'm heading back to Forks to see him now."

"Nervous?" I nodded slowly, picking at the fabric on the cardigan I wore. "I would offer my presence, but sense this is the first time in a long time seeing your dad, and your pregnant...I think I'll stick the next few out."

A smile tugged at my lips. "Of course you will, but don't you think the Mad Cop will want to know the man who got his little girl pregnant?" I joked.

Edward thought for a second as he gestured me and closed the door behind us. "He probably will, so therefore, don't mention any names."

I looked at him seriously as I took the spot behind his desk. "Ha, like he'd let me leave without the name of my 'new man.'" I glanced down at the top of his desk briefly. "Billy told Charlie that I have something to tell him, and my dad thinks Jacob and I still have a chance. I don't know how well this is going to go if he still believes in a broken fate."

He tried to look like the mention of Jacob and I getting back together didn't affect him, but I saw the faze in his face. "Well, I don't know what to say, Bella. Good luck, have fun."

I frowned. "Act like you care, Edward," I sighed dramatically, "or I'll send my dad on you."

"So he can kill me?" he asked, amused. I shrugged. "Okay, then the baby will be without a dad."

My eyes rolled upward. "This is a stupid conversation, Edward. I have to go."

He leaned over the front of the desk, closer to my face. "I love you," he said quietly, sounding more like a question. I nodded, biting my lip as I stood up, leaning my palms on the desk so my face was closer to his. "Still can't say it?" he laughed, shaking his head.

"Nope," I said, smiling smugly. On some degree it was funny and amusing when Edward got frustrated when I didn't return those three words, but I knew that it really had to be getting to him by now. "I like you lots," I said in a baby voice, pinching his cheek.

"Yeah, yeah," he rolled his eyes, leaning in and kissing me quickly. I frowned. "What?"

"That's all I get?" I demanded. "I'm five months pregnant, Edward, and all you give me is this little kiss? That's a bastard move." I shook my head, leaning away from him. "Whatever, I'll see you later. Maybe. Depends on how long I stay – I might stay the night in Forks," I told him.

"Okay, I've got to get back to work," he said, stepping back and grabbing the clipboard back from his desk. "I love you."

"I know, Edward. I know."

His house looks the same, the police cruiser looks the same – I'm sure he looks the same, I thought as I waited outside. The ache in my chest was unbelievably painful. I wasn't having second thoughts at all, but wishing things had gone differently. I shouldn't have neglected him in the first place! "This is all my fault," I said to myself.

I looked down at my protruding stomach. "You ready, baby?" Great, and now I'm talking to my stomach; mentally, I rolled my eyes.

Getting out of the car when I realized there was nothing else I could stall with, I locked it behind me and started toward the house. The grass was uncut on the lawn and scattered with leaves, while the house looked worn down – nothing could change with this place. Up the steps I stood, hand poised to knock on the door, when I wondered what changed with Charlie. Maybe he shaved the moustache.

I knocked once on the wooden door, looking down at my feet. Well, I guess really the tips of my shoes because I couldn't quite see all the way down there.

There were distance footsteps on the other side of the door and I heard the doorknob turning. It still squeaked when you turn it. A breath drew into my lungs as I waited to see my father's face, but it wasn't him.

The first thought that came to my mind was not pretty.

Who the fuck is this bitch?

"Oh!" My eyes widened when she squealed. "You must be Isabella! Hi, I'm Anne!" Before it was too late, I felt the hag hugging me.

My arms stayed at my sides as she crushed her body against the baby bump. I felt the urge to hit this weird stranger who was embracing me. For some reason, I wanted to cause her pain, and I didn't even know her. "Where's my dad?" I demanded, ignoring the amount of acid in my voice.

"He's in the kitchen getting things ready for—"

I pushed past her, but she was right behind me. I considered flipping her off for about two seconds. "Charlie never said he was going to be a granddad," she gushed, walking beside me and eying my stomach.

When he hand came close to touching me, I pushed it away; the amount of attention this bump got was frustrating, especially when people actually _pet_ my stomach. "Thanks, but I prefer not to be touched." She nodded, a little confused. "At all," I added for emphasis.

Anne cut me off as I started in the kitchen. I closed my eyes for a moment and reopened them as I entered after her, as she announced my presence. This was some way to finally see my dad after forever, to realize that he has a bitch now, and I started to feel upset in this visit. Maybe I should have waited another day or two.

"Hey, Dad." I exhaled the words when I saw his back, firmly dressed in a red and black flannel. I looked darkly at Anne, who didn't notice. Then I stuck my tongue out at her.

He wiped around and I felt my heart nearly swell: Moustache in place. "Bella!" I forgot all about the fact I was sporting a new twenty-thirty pounds as I walked over and hugged him. I rested the side of my face against his chest as his arms held me. It had been so long that I almost felt awkward, though I enjoyed finally seeing Charlie.

It didn't last long when he quickly pulled back, and I remembered what it was that was sitting in between my hips. Guilt washed over me in one quick wave.

"Bella, is there something you want to tell me?" he asked, using that feigning-disappointment voice fathers always use with their daughters when they're after curfew.

I looked over at Anne pointedly, where she watched the action like she cared. "You wanna give us some privacy?" I said, lacking kindness.

"Oh, uh, sure," she stuttered, squinting at me as she passed. I rolled my eyes at her back and watched as she disappeared into the living room.

I turned back to Charlie. "Okay, first question is, what the fuck is _that?"_ I demanded, finally feeling all that bubbling anger.

He sighed, leaning against the counter and crossing his arms. "Bella, I'm not getting any older – I think I have a little freedom in my own house, don't ya think?"

"That's one way of putting it," I muttered, rolling my eyes.

"Anne is really nice, Bella."

"Well, I don't like her. She seems like one of those evil old hags."

My dad shook his head, actually seeming like he found this somewhat amusing. "I just want you to be nice, she's been really nervous about meeting you."

I nodded. "Okay, then she can take a hike," I suggested hopefully.

"Be nice," he repeated. It wasn't that I didn't want to like this chick, but she wasn't looking friendly. Something about her was unsettling, and it didn't seem like enough that she made my dad happy. "So, second question: what is that?" His big hands formed a curve over his own semi-big stomach.

"Dad, do you remember the miracle that happened roughly twenty-five years ago?" I asked sweetly.

"Bella, no sarcasm," he sighed. "I'm serious. Why haven't you mentioned this? Why hasn't Jacob or Billy mentioned it?"

Oh, why did he have to think Jacob has something to do with this?

"Dad...its not Jacob's," I said.

He took a moment to answer. "Its not?" he asked blankly. "But then...wait, what? You guys broke up like—" He tried to think, but I could see he was confused.

"I...I slept with someone else," I told him. It felt like shit to explain this to my father, but I guess it was better to get this out of the way sooner rather than later.

"Yeah, Jacob said you cheated on him," he said sharply. "Really, Bella, I thought you were above that kind of thing." He gave me a sad look.

My mouth dropped in shock. "I didn't cheat on him, Dad! _He _cheated on _me!_ I met Edward after we were over..."And I have mentioned a name. Edward is a goner. But my dad didn't seem to notice.

"So your telling me Jake lied?" Charlie asked incredulously, like he couldn't believe this "perfect man" could cheat and break someone's heart. "I _know_ he's above that."

"Well, I didn't cheat on him, Dad. I thought you would believe me," I said sadly. "I met someone else, someone I really...like...and things just _happened_." The same way everything happens – it just _happens_. "Seriously, Jacob and I don't have a chance in hell, Dad. I really do hate to burst your bubble, but..." I gave a short laugh. "No. Just no, Dad."

He was quite for a minute, and my own brown eyes seemed to reflect thought. I waited for his verdict. Maybe he would grill me about this "new guy" or about what happened with Jacob and I. Or maybe he had an agenda I didn't know about. Finally he asked, "Boy or girl?"

"Boy."

"Names?"

"We haven't talked about it," I admitted. "We're kind of just...not really focusing on the baby essentials."

He squinted. "Who's the dad?" he asked carefully.

I hesitated for a second. "Rosalie's brother, Edward Cullen." He looked at me, half in shock. "I'm living with Alice and Rose in an apartment down the hall from Emmett, Jasper, and Edward, and I've been talking to him about moving in together. But...nothing yet."

"So your telling me that you are completely unprepared for this baby?" he asked, surprise and amazement coloring his tone.

"Well, Rose and Alice did a baby-store ride a few months ago...I still don't know what damage they did, though."

"Wow, Bella, looks like we still have a lot to catch up on, don't we?" Charlie asked with a smile.

I nodded. "Oh, and, Dad?" He nodded once, raising an eyebrow. "I quit my teaching job."

To my surprise, he kind of smiled. "Why does that not surprise me?"

You guys complained and I listened. Kind of. This has about 800 words on the last. Hope you enjoy.


	39. A Father's Protection

Okay, this chapter sucks because my attention is totally divided into many ways right now. But I'm thinking about five, six, seven or more chapters. I even know what the last line in the story will be – I've known sense the beginning. So...get ready.

BPOV

"How far along are you?"

I looked at Anne for a long beat, forcing myself not to allow my eyes to roll. "About five months," I said stiffly. "Around there. It's a boy," I added, for her own little knowledge.

"Oh, a boy!" she cheered. My fake smile, plastered in the most original way ever, faded instantly. Why was she bothering me so much?

As much as this woman just _pissed_ me off, I wanted to know why. Maybe it was because she was dating my father – an old man in my eyes. Why would she want him? And why wasn't I okay with it? Just because I didn't like it didn't mean she wasn't good for him, I reasoned.

"So, Bella, why don't you tell me about this guy?" Charlie suggested, pinning me with a look. I swallowed hard. Even though I knew this was coming, I also knew that Edward didn't want to be brought up. "He's a Cullen," my dad pressed when I didn't say anything. "I've heard him mentioned before, few years back. Seemed like a touchy subject though. What happened?"

It wasn't my story to tell. "He just...grew from his family and wanted things that Forks, and Washington, didn't have, Dad."

"What's his name?"

"Edward," I said carefully.

My dad snorted. "Edward? Edward Cullen? Ha, what kind of name is that?"

I frowned. "Dad, seriously. Does it really matter what his name is?"

"I guess not," he admitted reluctantly. This probably would have been some kind of theme for a joke of his. "What's he do for a living?"

"Doctor." Please don't let this be twenty questions, I thought, looking at the food on my plate.

To my surprise, he actually seemed pleased. "That's good," Charlie agreed. "And how long have you known him?"

Now this is where it got tricky. "Uh, five or six months?" It came out more as a question. The silence following was awkward, but I took some gratefulness that Anne backed the hell off.

"Your five months pregnant," he said slowly, "and you've known this guy for five months?" He sounded appalled.

"Or six," Anne offered up quickly.

I cut her a sharp look. "I've got this," I said, turning back to my dad. "We just had one of those...fast relationships, Dad. Its nothing for you to go all protective about. Its not that big of a deal."

"Did he knock you up on the first day?"

"Dad! Why do you want to know that? I'm not even going to tell you that." Now I was beginning to feel appalled as well. I wasn't about to actually admit to my sex life, or that Edward and I got started for a one-day stand and things just kept rolling. "It doesn't even matter," I said calmly.

His fist came down on the table, making every jump. "The hell is doesn't! Did he or did he not knock you up on the first day, Bella?"

"Why's this matter, Charlie?" I demanded, feeling just as outraged as he looked. This wasn't what I wanted to happen for us. "We made a mistake and now I'm pregnant, but I thought we talking about Edward? This isn't the conversation we're having. Ever."

Charlie drew in a deep breath and he was silent. I settled back in my chair, pushing the plate away. If Edward were here, he would shove it down my throat. Suddenly, I half-wished I'd dragged him along. "Fine." But it didn't sound like he agreed. "We won't talk about it."

I was only half-satisfied with this. Eventually, of course, this would come up again, but I just didn't seem the involvement of my dad in this. Was it standard that he knew when I got pregnant and how long I knew Edward? Did he need a specific date or something? Was that all really necessary?

"Look, Dad, I really appreciate your concern, but its not needed. Edward and I are doing fine. Just trust me."

He exhaled, setting down his fork. "Well, Bella, you're my baby. I know I haven't seen you in a long time, but your still my girl. I'm just trying to be your dad." Something about this heart-felt conversation wasn't working with Anne sitting there as an onlooker.

"I know, Dad," I said, feeling that wash of emotion. Blame the hormones.

EPOV

"Hey, Eddie boy, where's Bella?" Alice asked as I tossed my keys on the kitchen table. Everyone was in the living room, drinking and watching TV, seemingly on the edge of being piss-drunk.

"She went to her dad's," I said carefully, but I felt the air thin.

Rosalie stood up. "She did _what_?" she screeched.

I didn't see the big deal yet, but apparently there was something there. "She went to see her dad. She called him and he invited her over. What's the deal?" I sat down on the arm of the couch, still in scrubs, and picked a beer from the table in front of me.

My sister stood in front of me, staring me down like I was a child. "You idiot, you knocked daddy's little girl up! And then you just sent her there without going with her? What were you thinking?"

"Obviously, not clearly," I mumbled, scratching my head. All I was trying to do was save my ass when the "tagalong" offer was implied, but I didn't want to risk a bullet to the head. Why would I have to go meet the Dad if I knocked his baby up? Was that some rule?

"Edward, do you really expect her to just show up there five months pregnant and without someone on her arm? Are you all fucking there?" Rosalie's fist met the side of my head harder than it should have.

"I hope she's okay," Jasper said pointedly.

"Me too," Emmett said sharply.

I swear all these people hated me.

I threw my arms up in defeat. "How the hell am I supposed to know this shit?" I snapped, silencing them all. "How am I supposed to know that I have go meet her dad because I knocked her up? Its not like its my fault."

Emmet burst out laughing. "Dude, you supplied the sperm." Rosalie cut him a sharp look and Alice cracked a smile. "You really fucked this one over, Edward. Go get in your Volvo and start driving, man."

"I'm not driving to Forks just to introduce myself to her father! Fuck, guys!"

Shaking my head, I felt like I was losing it. Maybe I did make some mistake there, but I didn't know how to fix it all up, and I certainly wasn't driving to Forks for one lousy introduction. Shit, by this time he's probably gained a horrible idea of me. I didn't want to get into that. Never. But I guess eventually I would end up meeting this guy...but the later the better.

After that I went to my room, locking the door behind me. I looked at my bed and frowned. Damn, I already missed Bella.

With this baby...I was having mixed feelings. I wanted to be all happy and excited like all those dads on the cheesy TV shows, but I guess that just wasn't me. That, and the fact that things just seemed so complicated between me and Bella.

Half the time, I didn't get her. I love her, she didn't love me back. I understood that, but I just _wished_ she would get things together and just...love me. I know that was a weird demand, but it was the only thing I wanted now. I never knew what it was like to actually love someone until I knocked Bella up. Hell, I didn't even know what it was like to care about someone either, and now she's the only thing I care about. Besides the whole breath-sex thing and loving my job – and both those things were slipping fast from what I loved and cared for – she was the only thing that really existed.

I felt like a total pussy now, now that she practically lived with me, and I wasn't even close to used to that. Wasn't all that random sex just an antidote to feel like a macho dick? And now all that was gone.

Feeling too gushy and soft for my own liking, I picked up my phone and dialled Bella's cell. After four rings, the recorder picked up. I sighed, rubbing a hand over my face. "Hey, babe, its me...Uh, I just wanted to say sorry for making you go there alone...clearly, I shouldn't have made you do that. Uh, yeah, I'll see you whenever you get back." I flipped the phone closed, deciding against the whole "I love you" thing.

I sat down at my computer and opened up the website I'd found at work a few weeks ago. I had to look into this because I knew it was time. Even Bella mentioning it meant that it was time.

We needed to find a house before this baby was brought into this world

And there you have it. This is a stiff chapter, but it gives you Edward insight, so let's smile. I'm working hard here, on all my stories, and I really hope you guys are enjoying it. I mean...it takes a lot of time sometimes to really think what has to happen this time around.

And for those who haven't noticed, I changed my Penname.


	40. The Newspaper

Okay, so on my profile page I have mentioned my priorities and in their order, and you will see that Lost and Gained significantly tops said list. So hence all the updates. I'm eager to shave this list down because I have another story that has yet to be posted sitting in my hardware – or software, or maybe I'm completely wrong with that statement. Fail at sounding smart, so...

Its sitting in my Documents Folder.

Waiting. Praying.

So, then, onto the story.

Okay, and also, I will be posting a one-shot in a few days, so look out for it because it WILL be juicy.

EPOV

I think, that sense I've fallen in love, I have this new sense. I can _tell_ when she's near, fell it in my stomach.

I reached over and felt that protruding stomach. Still half asleep, I mumbled a greeting and closed my eyes again. After a moment, I decided Bella was just too quiet. Too...silent. And sense these hormones have kicked in she is never quiet. "What's wrong?" I sighed, opening my eyes and sitting up.

On my day off I get to wake up early. Fabulous.

"Nothing," she said quietly. Now, who was she trying to convince? "Its just...I wished last night went better. With my dad and all." She shrugged, laying back down and snuggling in. I fell back too, so we were level.

"First of all, when did you roll in?"

"Early this morning. I stayed late, my dad offer me my old room, but..." She shook her head. "I just couldn't do it. He has a girlfriend who lives with him, and...I just felt like I was imposing."

I rolled my eyes. "Ha, I know what that feels like. But I'm sorry I didn't go with you."

She snorted. "What? My dad would've eaten you alive! You should have seen his expression when I told him about you and everything. Damn, he wasn't too happy."

Slinging a blanket over my face, I grumbled into it. Great. Just great. Names were thrown around, and Big Daddy knows I fucked his baby girl so hard that she's pregnant. Of course he was bound to figure it out, but I guess I was hoping he would totally overlook it. Maybe not notice the bump. Yeah, stupid for a doctor, right?

"Tell me I didn't ruin your reunion?"

She was quiet, which made me moan and turn onto my back. Shit. I messed this reunion up for her and her father thanks to my dick. "No, Edward," she laughed. "You made it interesting at the most. At least we had something to talk about the whole night."

"Me? You talked about me?"

"You and everything you've done," she said sweetly. "Charlie _really_ liked talking about this." She pat her stomach once, and I just stared at it. "Granted, I think he was feeling a little...like shooting something probably, but I don't think you have anything to worry about. He wants to meet you too."

I rubbed my eyes. "Not any time soon, right?" I checked, suddenly too exhausted to think.

"Well before the baby's born, Edward." Bella said this like it should have been obvious. "Something tells me he wouldn't be too impressed to meet his grandchild's father at its birth."

Even I had to admit that, being in his shoes, I wouldn't want that either. "Yeah, whatever," I mumbled, turning over and burying my face into the pillow. I didn't want to hear any of this. Not a single word.

BPOV

After Edward was back asleep, I flipped on the TV quietly.

As far as I was concerned, he was being a dick. But at the same time I could understand what he was saying.

For the most part, my dad was understanding, but I could tell he was having some inner battle. To kill or not to kill, maybe. He asked a lot of questions too, and they always seemed to go back to that same topic of how long I knew Edward. I think my dad doubted things. Hell, I knew he did! Charlie wasn't stupid enough that I could hope he was wrong when he'd said, "Bella, are you sure about this guy?" It takes two to tango. Two to make a baby.

I didn't want to just...let Edward go.

I knew we weren't perfect for each other – in fact, we were a little messed up. But I didn't want to let Edward go. We were finally falling into the right routines and somewhat...actually getting along. We didn't fight so much.

When I thought about how we came to this stage, I wondered if the first time I saw him, if I actually _liked_ him at the time. Maybe it wasn't just because he was incredibly sexy and something you could gossip about with the girls, but maybe someone that I just...liked. I didn't know how to explain it, but maybe it ran deeper than just...attempting to forget someone.

I rolled away from Edward's sleeping form, suddenly confused by myself.

Something caught my eye on the bedside table, on my side. I slowly sat up – it was such a stress trying to sit that I almost broke a sweat – and picked up the newspaper. Sense when did Edward read the _newspaper_? It was opened on the real-estate page, and I just gawked at it. Edward? Interested in real-estate? A few small columns were circled in blue pen and two had stars by them.

Was Edward looking at _houses_? The word sounded like acid, even in my head. What were he plans? I wondered.

Without looking at it for another second, I flung my arms over and hit Edward in the chest. "Wake up," I snapped, looking back at the circled houses.

There was a groan beside me. I wasn't taking it, though. "Edward, wake up right now, I think we need to talk." I hit him again.

My hormones had to have taken the front seat.

"What's wrong, Bella?" he asked tiredly. I actually felt a pang of regret for waking him, but something else dominated over it. Something really mean. "What do you need?"

"What is this?" I demanded, throwing the newspaper on his bare back.

His head lifted and he regarded me with half-closed eyes. "I can't see it, Bella," he said sharply. It seemed we were on the bridge of a fight. I picked it up and shoved it in his line of view. He squinted at it, still sleep probably, but his eyes widened after a moment like something dawned on him.

Edward exhaled, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"What is this?" I repeated. The acid had dropped and now I sounded like a child begging for something from their parents.

"You weren't supposed to see that," he said regretfully.  
Now I was just curious. "Well, what is it?"

He turned and flopped over on his back, setting the newspaper down beside him. I laid down next to him, suddenly not so angry. In fact, I felt _relieved_. Why was I even on edge? What did I have to worry?

"Are you moving?" I asked, looking over him. That didn't mean he would abandon me, but I felt a horrid pain in my stomach.

To my surprise, he laughed. It was one of those deep, belly laughs that brought tears to your tears. I stared at him, suddenly not feeling so impressed but definitely confused as hell. "B-Bella," he chuckled, "I-I..."

"What the hell are you laughing about?"

It took him a moment to recover. "I w-was going to ask you to move in."

I froze.

Literally it was like a wave of cold water coming over me in the middle of winter is Alaska. "What?" I said carefully, wearily. I did want us to live together. I really did. I even thought about it a lot, and it even came up second most often with my conversation with my dad.

"Move in with me, Bella." It wasn't a question, but a statement.

My mouth opened but nothing came out.

"That's what I was doing," Edward said, picking up the newspaper and setting it on my lap. "Looking at houses in the paper."

"Oh wow," I breathed, almost speechless. "Um...okay?" I threw my hands up, completely speechless with what to say.

He smiled and leaned up to kiss my cheek, and then planting one on my stomach.

All I could think of was that things were getting better. Much better.

* * *

Something about the way this was written made it sound like this is getting close to the end. Oh wait, it is. *smiley face* Yeah, I'm a little sad, but I don't want to overpower and prolong it. There isn't overly much left, so hold on.


	41. Monster

I'm having so many troubles writing this because I don't know how I want to work this out. Eek. Please try to enjoy. I'm grasping at ends here. :S

BPOV

"Aw, Edward, are you trying to be a romantic?" I teased.

He snorted. "Do you see candles? Rose petals scattered on the table? Didn't think so," he laughed as I shook my head.

I surveyed the restaurant, mentally taking back my words. I guess it wasn't all that romantic, despite the dark lighting and red-gold tones, but it was fairly close and intimate. "Okay, so maybe its not I-love-you-forever-and-ever-until-the-world-ends romantic, but it is pretty damn close."

"Sure thing, Bella. Sure thing."

Our little "Friday night date nights" were becoming a little more prominent these days. Ever sense the whole discovery of that stupid newspaper – and not only hadn't I mentioned it, but neither had he – Edward started taking me out more. Before we kind of...dated in rather than going out, but I realized just how nice it was to go out and be able to breathe in fresh air – especially the kind laced with garlic.

My stomach grumbled.

"My mom called," Edward said casually. The only sign that there was something wrong with this was the way his lips were pressed. I watched his fingers drum against the table.

"And?" I finally asked. "What'd you guys talk about?"

"Oh, nothing." He said in a you-should-have-known-this-because-its-not-that-hard-to-understand way. "She didn't want to talk to me. She called for you."

I smiled. "I love your mom," I told him. He groaned, and I realized what I said. Though it had only been days sense the whole newspaper thing, he still didn't get it.

Living together didn't equal 'love'. I'd had more than one occasion that I really thought I loved someone and I was wrong. Who would want to make that mistake again? I still couldn't say that I loved him – I still didn't know. And yet here I was, saying I loved his mom. Of course loving him and loving Esme were worlds apart to both of us, but it had to sting.

Even just slightly.

"I'll call her when we get back," I said quickly. "No biggie."

The waiter came by a few minutes later to take our orders, which took longer than it should have. Too many things sounded too delicious to turn down on the pages, and eventually Edward just ordered for me. Not that I really cared because I knew I would have taken another five minutes.

"I don't think I've ever been this hungry," I mused, tapping my fingers on the table, already expecting an appearance from the waiter with many plates.

"I can tell your impatient," he agreed, watching my nails tap. "Yeah, that needs to stop," Edward laughed after a moment.

I pushed my hand against my lap. "Uh, sorry." The same hand went to my hair, pulling and tangling on the strands. "I'm just...a little nervous."

"About what? This is supposed to be an anti-romantic date – your not here to donate a lung."

"Ha. Ha. I just think there's something you want to talk about. We don't really go to restaurants anymore. Usually it's the standard beach or movie," I said.

Edward was quiet for a moment, cracking his knuckles in front of him. I wrinkled my nose in disgust but said nothing. "Well..." he started reluctantly, and I realized then that I _wanted_ to talk about the newspaper. "Its about the whole house issue."

My heart started beating out of my chest and I tried to hold back a squeal. And I haven't squealed sense I was a teenager.

"What issue?" I said coolly, folding my napkin as a distraction. "I thought we were doing just fine."

"Oh, cut the crap, Bella," he snapped, somewhat annoyed. My hormonal anger flared just slightly. "Let's just talk about it already. I thought you would have brought it up by now?"

I shrugged. "Why was it my responsibility? You could have." I demanded, crossing my arms.

He threw his hands up immediately, as if to say "Don't blame me!", causing the sleeves of his dress shirt – already rolled to his elbows – to push up further. "Okay, just don't go all hormonal on me." He paused. "At least not now. I just wanted to talk to you about it, unless you don't want to."

"Well, I do."

"Wonderful." He rolled his eyes. "You are going to move in with me, right?"

Shouldn't that have been obvious? "Of course. We can't just live in different houses."

"I know you said you want to, but are you sure? Rosalie didn't convince you otherwise?"

"Why would she?" I hated living with Rose at the same time as living down the hall from Edward – you heard all the brother-sister arguments. "Look, Edward, it doesn't matter. I've already made this choice, and even if Rose wants to tell me you're a complete asshole, it doesn't matter."

"Really?" he asked dubiously, taking a sip of the wine in front of him, which I had been envying sense we got here.

"Yeah. I already know you're an asshole."

"Mmm," he hummed. "Love you too."

I sighed, deep in thought as I shredded the corner of the little white napkin that had been under my glass. Edward continued: "I just don't want to make mistakes with you, so don't get mad at me." He took a deep breath. I actually felt myself getting nervous to hear what he had to say. "We're going next weekend to check out the houses."

I waited to hear the big "drop" but it never came. "And? You thought I'd get mad at you over this?"

"Well, it seems a little too soon, don't you think?"

"Edward, this is all too soon!" The outburst earned us a few unpleasant looks from people enjoying themselves nearby. "The fact you _love _me after I used you, and the fact I'm already having your baby – its all too much. Really Edward, this is barely the tip on the iceberg."

He ran a hand over his face, creating hard lines. He was frustrated. "Okay, Bella, whatever you say. Whatever you want."

With his swingy attitude, I decided, it probably wasn't the best time to tell him this. Timidly I stared down the smooth-topped table, running my handle over it. Usually I really liked to push his buttons because it usually ended in some hot sexual activities. "I can't make it next weekend...That's when my dad wants to meet you."

From his frustration, I could visibly see, as he switched to anger and exasperation. I knew Edward would never try something stupid, but at that moment I could feel more negative emotion rolling off. I sat back in my chair, folding my arms over my stomach.

"Why are you making this so difficult?" he seethed, leaning forward so no one could hear.

"What are you getting so out of control?" I whispered. After my confusion followed the embarrassment of having a somewhat public argument. As if people really needed to hear all our problems.

"Because this _is_ difficult!"

Seeing the way his usually-glittery eyes were wide with anger, nostrils flared and the lines on his face, made my chest tighten in the way you'd feel if you saw a child with cancer. Sickening, upsetting... Just _wrong_. Edward wasn't as beautiful when he was angry, especially at me. My eyes started to dry and burn. I hated fighting with him like this – the few little teasing jabs were fun, but this was too much.

And in a restaurant...

I hid my face behind a curtain of dark hair. We got all dressed up for this...?

"We'll talk about this later," he mumbled as our waiter came by with our plates.

I didn't lift my eyes but I heard Edward ordering more alcohol. Not wine, though, rum with coke. I had a feeling that the drinks were slowly going to get stronger and stronger tonight, until he wasn't mentally aware. There was no way, after this glass, I would get in a car with him behind the wheel. I probably wouldn't even stay the night at his place if he got verbal toward me again.

"Bella? Bella, talk to me." He didn't at all sound concerned, only demanding. My skin literally crawled as I felt so small beside him.

"You want to talk later...we'll talk tomorrow," I replied quietly.

"Whatever."

It was like Edward transformed right before my eyes. And it wasn't even the good change I was looking for.

**I am sorry for any mix-up with dates, times, events, and so on. Sorry, I've been having quite the hard time – I appreciate your patience and understanding. **


	42. Unkind Sister

Time is going by for Bella and Edward here, which means this story is wrapping up. Now that school's done I have a lot of time on my hands, so in the next few weeks "Lost and Gained" will be finished. Yikes. I'm nervous. But just as caution, **keep this on your alert **or **add it **in case I do something with it later.

BPOV

Things never got better with Edward and me. I used to hear so much about "make up" sex and how hot is was, but that didn't happen after our disagreement. We even mutually agreed to staying apart that night, and though I was tempted to sneak over to his apartment, I stayed locked in my room; I didn't need to seem like the vulnerable one. Even after that night apart, I didn't see him the next day either. Edward was at work but I'd always had that opportunity to see, talk and whatnot to and with him on any other day. It was like he couldn't make time to fit me in there.

A week felt like one month.

One "month" of feeling fat and no one to argue over the fact with. A "month" of carrying someone else's child and not even having any contact with that person. At times like this, I wished I could read minds – what was he thinking? What didn't he want to talk? Why had he been such a...such a bastard at dinner?

Instead, I got quality girl time. Definitely the time with Alice and Rose was pleasant – especially sense we had kind of drifted in the past few months – but I didn't think I would pick that activity over quality time with Edward.

"Bella, would you smile for five seconds?" Alice asked, annoyance lacing her tone.

I glared down at the crimson-colored wine sloshing wine in my glass. "Its non-alcoholic. No one can smile drinking this shit."

"That's what happens when you go condom-less."

"Thank you, Rose. I think we've covered the whole unprotected sex stuff," I snapped. Then sighed when I realized this wasn't going in a place that should be welcomed. "'Kay, this is like the first time we've been together for awhile sense Edward...and everything...has happened, so please, let's not fight."

"Can we talk about the baby, though?" Alice asked hopefully.

I bit my lip, glancing at Rose briefly. She'd made it quite obvious she didn't fancy Edward's and my choice with this baby and our relationship, but I was carrying her soon-to-be nephew, the child that would officially make her an aunt. "Sure, Alice," I finally agreed. "If that's what you want."

And she showed me just how much she wanted to. The more wine she drank the faster and more complex the questions came, and the less time I had to answer. They also got more ridiculous. Occasionally Rose looked like she cared and laughed along, but for the most part she just chewed away at snacks, guzzling whine with less eagerness than Alice.

The carton of ice cream was numbing my thighs and I pulled a fleece blanket over me to keep warm. After one glass of non-alcoholic wine, I was done.

"Are you going to get a satin blanket for the baby?"

"Ali, that's a stupid question," I laughed. Even Rose snickered.

"Well?" she pressed, not cracking a smile.

"Uh, I don't know...er, maybe?"

She nodded, completely serious. I just cracked up all over again. "Oh, okay, Bella. Don't stress yourself, I'll buy you one."

"Great to know, Alice," I snorted.

The questions continued in a similar fashion – she would ask something completely out of the ordinary and I would laugh, asking her where that came from, and she would press me to answer. Sometimes Rose pitched in her own sarcasm. Without the bump I would feel so much more at home. But when Alice touched on Edward's and my sex life – it was just _way_ too awkward.

"How many times do you guys do it?" Any sober Alice would never ask a question like that, nor touch on this kind of topic. I wasn't even willing to offer up any information for the sake of Rose's sanity.

"I'm just going to step out..." Rose stood up and took her wine out on the balcony, and I only wished I could follow.

"Ali, I'm not answering this," I said quickly. Her blood-shot eyes looked eager, hungry for this sick information. "Its not relevant to the baby."

She snorted. "Yeah it is. Sex makes babies. You guys made a baby. How?"

My face started heating. "Sex," I said simply, scanning the room for a way to change the topic. "Hey, Alice, where did that candle come from? What scent—"

"I know its sex!" she shouted, throwing her arms up. "But what position?" She was getting feistier, more annoyed with the bland answers about my sex life. "What position do you guys do?"

"The usual," I struggled, pushing the ice cream off my lap and trying to stand up. It took some effort without using my abdominal muscles and by the time I was on my feet, my arms burned. "Look, its nothing special. And why do you even want to know? We have some problems if your taking notes on this."

Alice pulled back her wine so fast that some dribbled down the side of her mouth. "Missionary? Cowgirl? Doggy style?" She wagged her eyebrows suggestively.

"Ew, Alice, this is so gross!" I squealed but couldn't stop laughing. "I can't talk about this with a drunk best friend."

"Ohhh," she drawled, "does he take you up the ass?"

"Shit, I'm out of here!" I announced, walked as quickly as I could – with a huge belly in front of me – out onto the balcony. I closed the door behind me heavily, so Rose would be aware that I was out here. "Hey," I said casually, sitting down on the lawn chair.

She turned around from looking over the balcony at twilight in Seattle. "Done the little sex talk yet?" she asked.

"No," I whined. "She wants to know which positions we do."

Rose snorted. "Well I don't want to know that." She signed. "Just give her a break – she's so drunk out of her mind."

I nodded. "I know. I just wish she would calm down. God Rose, she asked if we do anal sex." I laughed half-heartedly. I wasn't surprised that she didn't respond; we still weren't mended from my wrong mistakes. My hands pushed my tight shirt up over my swollen stomach as I caressed it. "Rose, why do you hate me?" I finally asked.

She gave a short laugh a few seconds later. "I don't hate you. I don't particularly like you right now, but..." She drew a deep breath. "Look, Bella, you can do so much better than my brother!"

"Rose," I groaned, hanging my head back as I slouched, "we've talked about this so many times..."

"I know, but seriously! He's going to ruin you and my nephew, and pass on the worst fucking genes in the world. I swear to you that child is going to be a man whore, Bella – is that what you want?"

I scowled. "Of course not. But its already a done-deal, the genes have been passed."

"Yeah, and the kid doesn't have a chance. Bella, do you realize there is a sixty percent chance that Edward is and has been cheating on you for months? Yeah, for all we know he could have his dick in someone other girl's—"

"He wouldn't do that!" I screamed, shooting up from my chair. I've never moved that fast sense I was first pregnant. Rose stood back with some amount of surprise. "He loves me, Rose – he tells me every day that he loves me. I don't give a flying fuck what you think or feel because Edward is faithful, and you have never given him enough credit!"

I ran inside, putting all thoughts of being careful with my movements aside, and up the stairs, passing Alice as she asked about how long Edward's dick was.

In my bed I tried to call and text Edward, but he never responded to them. I thought about calling the hospital but that seemed like a little bit too much after a fight. After a few minutes I picked up the phone and dialled in Edward's extension. Still no answer. Worry started to swell up inside me. Was I more worried that something bad could have happened to someone, or that Rosalie was right?

I laid back down against the pillows, blindly reaching over to my bedside table to grab the water bottle and pills for my pregnancy. I swallowed them quickly and tried his office one more time, leaving a message that probably sounded incredibly urgent. I just wanted to talk to him so bad...

Keeping the tears at bay where a little harder than I thought as I sat in the quiet. She just made me so _mad..._ And Rose wasn't usually this judgemental. Well, especially to the people she loved. I couldn't even fathom why she couldn't be understanding.

My phone started vibrating against my leg and Edward's name popped up with a very erotic picture I took of him while he was sleeping. I pressed Talk but before I could say anything, he started up.

"Bella, what do you need? Why do you keep calling my phone and the hospital? Is something wrong or are you just being needy again?"

My mouth fell open. "E-Edward, I'm pregnant," I sputtered. "Of course I'm feeling needy. But I—"

"Is this important or what? I need to sleep, I have a double shift again in three hours."

"Um..." I knew I shouldn't have been the one saying this. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I said or did anything that pissed you off, we haven't talked in forever and I feel so lonely." I frowned, though he couldn't even see me. "I just need some company right now."

Edward sighed on the other end, but he sounded less annoyed now. Less...agitated. "I can't come back right now, Bella, I have a whole new shift tonight."

I pursed my lips to try to hold back the pitiful sigh. He was turning me so mushy. "When will you be back?" I asked.

"Uh," I could almost picture him scratching his head, "maybe ten a.m. to noon. Depends on what goes down tonight, okay?"

"Yeah..." I trailed sadly. "Edward, this has to stop."

There was a pause on the other end. "What has to stop, Bella?" he asked slowly, cautiously.

I groaned. "This whole...mess...We need to stop fighting. I...my body just can't take it anymore," I told him, glancing at the baby books on the floor. They all spoke billions of words. "Its not good to be under stress, especially where I am now..."

This time the pause was longer. "I haven't seen you in a week," he mumbled, making a heavy sound in the background. Like he was putting his feet up on his desk. I actually found a little comfort in this, knowing he was in his office and not in someone else's room.

"I know, and I've been doing fine. Apart from just recently, but I'll tell you about it tomorrow. Wake me up when you get back?" I asked hopefully.

"Always."

**Its been awhile – and that just sounded like I'm not getting any – sense there has been an update. So this is just a jump-start for me to get back onto the updating train. Okay, that sounds SO lame. W/E.**

**Review for lemon.**

**Love, Glitter. **


	43. Perfection

**Okay, time is going to speed by now. Maybe five chapters left. Eek. I made a quick little banner for this story before it ends, link on profile.**

BPOV

I woke to something hard pressing against my hip. Eyes still closed, I reached down to grab the book I'd left there the previous night, but didn't come in contact with it. Instead, I met something distinctively long and hard.

"Did you wake up like this?" I murmured, eyes still closed.

"Hmm," he hummed as my hand started moving slowly, teasing him. "Sort of. I took one look at you and he just got a mind of his own."

"That's perfect," I purred, releasing his member and pulling my nails up his chest. I cracked open my eyes to see the clock. "But we have a house to look at, so get dressed!"

He groaned as I jumped out of bed completely naked, and went to hop in the shower. Today was the day when we would finally see The House. I was nervous as hell, because if I didn't like, I didn't know how to exactly tell him that. It seemed like Edward had his heart set on it. I never was too good at faking interest in things that were just...well, things I didn't find interesting.

And a house?

Yeah its high on my list of things to worry about, but it if I was moving in with him, with a baby and everything, it had to be perfect. This was like...paving the road of the future, as corny as it sounds, and it had to be bordering perfect. My baby deserved everything in the world.

As soon as I hoped out of the shower Edward was in, and I went rummaging through his closet for some clothes that I usually kept here. Teetering on the six month mark, things were progressing well but fast. I don't think my ankles were swollen but my stomach was in the way of my view. I made a mental note to ask Esme how much Edward weighted when he was born. Genes never pass lightly.

I slipped on my jeans – stupid things had that elastic waist band – over my hips and pulled on a maternity T-shirt the color of the sky in summer. Taking one look outside, I knew it wasn't going to be a pretty day. The sky was crowded with dark clouds and the sun was amiss – perfect Happy Day weather. I sat on the bed waiting for Edward to hurry up.

The more I waited, the more excited I got.

"Hurry up, Edward!" I announced as I walked back in the steam-filled room. "We don't have all day!"

"Actually Bella, we barely have two hours," he responded dully.

"Then hurry up!" I repeated impatiently. I brushed on a little make up that I left here – just the quick stuff like foundation and a soft brown eye shadow.

He was out in minutes and dressed in even less. I started to wonder of my pregnancy made him whipped. Edward dressed in jeans and a hoodie, and even though I could tell in the past few days, almost weeks, that my sexual appetite was slowly decreasing, I really wanted him in that instant. He made casual look so good. "Your going to want something more than that," Edward said, tossing me a black sweater. I shook it out – a black zip up of his.

I pulled it on and we headed for the door. When we were making it out of the apartment I realized that our shoes matched; we both had put on black converse. How cheesy, I thought. Do they make converse for babies? It was ten-thirty and I noticed that the apartment was silent, so either the guys were over at the girls' apartment or everyone was dead asleep. I opted for the second.

"Heat, heat, heat, heat," I chanted, stabbing the button repeatedly. "Fuck, its so cold. Heat!"

Bella," he stilled my hand. "Your turning it on and off, nothing's going to happen. Calm down."

I sighed, and sure enough after a few minutes the car was giving off warm air. I sighed again in contentment. "So why are we leaving so early?"

"Uh, yeah, that's my fault," he laughed. "I thought it was nine-thirty. Not ten-thirty."

"Aw, muffin, are you tired?" I asked sweetly, pinching his cheek. "Did something keep you awake?"

He gave me a frown but I could see he was fighting a smile. "Yeah, this pussy wouldn't let me sleep."

I burst out laughing. "I don't know whether to pull down your pants or hit you," I giggled.

"I can tell you which I would prefer," Edward chuckled.

"Road head?"

"Please?"

"Maybe another day," I decided reluctantly. "I could never bend over this." I pat the console between us slowly, as if to say, "this is all your fault, now go to hell."

"Stupid baby." I hoped he was joking.

Edward pulled up to the drive-thru at Dunkin' Doughnuts, already digging into his pocket. "What do you want?" he asked, flipping open his wallet.

"Oh, nothing, I'm good."

"Okay," he said, pulling up to the speaker, "bagel it is." I waited as he order, working on pulling my legs up. With this mountain on my stomach I could never lift my legs to get comfortable – crossing your legs is only be bearable for so long. Gripping onto the sides of my calves I tried to pull them up so the soles of my feet would be resting on the seat.

The tops of my thighs bounced against Edward Junior but I doubt he ever felt it. The only sign he did was when he kicked back ever so roughly. They say your baby starts to kick at eighteen weeks and yet they never seem to mention how hard babies kick. This little thing was a fighter to a tee. "Is it right for him to be kicking so hard, Edward?" I asked curiously, rubbing where the felt the little thumps.

"How hard?" he said distractedly.

"Really hard. I swear he's about to break my ribs or something." Edward turned to give me a look as he stopped at the window. "Okay, its not that bad but its not comfortable either."

"Its not supposed to be, and there's no fix for it." His hand found its way to where mine and I moved mine out of the way for him to feel. A smile spread on his face. "Definitely my kid," he commented.

I grinned. "Even with the small penis?"

Edward rolled his eyes at me. "Even with the small penis."

We were meeting our realtor at the first house at eleven-thirty sharp. The houses were all in the suburbs just outside central Seattle, and as we started to leave the big buildings, I almost wanted to turn back. Something was so appealing about the city that I wanted to wake up to every morning; I didn't want to look out the window and see a long street of houses with nothing above two or three stories.

It was just too much of a change.

I wasn't feeling as into this as I had been earlier. I just wanted to get this over with. Edward was beginning to sense this change in me and it looked like he was trying to keep his distance; I didn't really feel in that mood to lash out, only wanted some space to think. I wished it was so much easier.

Our realtor was Mr. Hawkins and I'd be lying if I said I didn't spring to life. He was tall, young, and so _fine_. Edward rolled his eyes at the guy's back and then at me, obviously not feeling like this guy was a threat.

XXXX

There was something wrong with every house.

We got the tour through each one – which I found out later that none had been previously lived in – and all I could think about was what was wrong with each one. The first one only had a master bedroom and small second bedroom, which didn't give much room for family. The second one was just plain small, every room not really big enough for more than three people. Either Edward was blind when he looked through the newspaper or our realtor sucked. But I think he made up for it in looks.

"What do you think, Mrs. Cullen?" Mr. Hawkins asked, gesturing around our third stop.

I rolled my eyes, mentally noting to kick Edward's ass for telling him we're married. "Nope. Not gonna happen."

Edward groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "What's wrong with it, Bella?"

"The stairs. Either I'm going to fall up or fall down while pregnant. Or after he's born while I'm holding him, or maybe when he's older he'll fall down. I don't think it's a good idea."

We headed for the fourth house and on the ride there, Edward really ate into me about my stubbornness. I told him I just wanted something perfect. All I wanted was something to call home.

**Okay that was incredibly hard to write... Damn. I think I confused myself on the next few chapters. Expect a time jump. Really, I think two more chapters. I'll probably regret skipping over time but I have three events in mind, two in the next chapter. Expect like 2000 word updates, maybe more. **

**xoxo love Glitter.**


	44. Closure

**This sounds bad, but I want to finish this story. I have another one to be posted. :)**

EPOV

I'm scared. Shitless.

I like to think that I know what I'm doing at points in my life, but right now I am completely clueless. You'd think a doctor would be able to set up a crib too, but apparently, its rocket-science.

"Bella, read the directions again," I said, looking at these pieces. She sat down the paper and sat up on her knees.

"I said to let me do it, Edward. Now go for ten minutes and give me some privacy to do this."

My eyes looked down at her. Bella was huge for seven months, and there's no exaggeration. Even the doctor said she was abnormally big. Of course being a woman, she didn't take this too well; I swore that if someone wasn't with her all day, she would never eat. The case remained that I still thought she looked amazing. I never really understood guys' fascination with pregnant women but I was beginning to see it now.

"Fine," I muttered, walking out of the room. Two months away from delivery, we were getting things together.

About a week after we went on our search for a house Alice came back from work and said she found something. It was closer to the central of Seattle and not so suburb-ish. It was also fresh off the press, and Bella couldn't find a single thing wrong about it. Three bedrooms, two baths, a huge kitchen, and large backyard. Naturally, she told me to get it fenced in.

I told her I would in the future.

The future. I would be lying if I said that I didn't miss how my life used to be – and not just how much easier everything was. It was just so much more _fun_. Don't get me wrong, its not like Bella is weighting me down, but I used to have more free will. More time to play around and more variety in what I play around it. There wasn't time for that now, nor was it acceptable.

I returned to the room after a good fifteen minutes.

"Told you its not that hard," she said smugly.

I gapped at the crib standing before me. "Didn't know you're the man of the house," I grumbled.

"Nope. I'm not." She looked up innocently. "I'm just the one that wears the pants here."

The room was painted a very pale shade of blue, Bella's choice, with clouds near the top of the walls. Emmett took it upon himself to paint a yellow sun around the light. No one listened when I said it looked too feminine; everyone was on Bella's side. Even Rose, who was finally coming around to the idea of everything.

"I think we need to go shopping," Bella said, holding out her hand so I could take it and pull her up. "I want to get some baby clothes."

I blanched at her, partly surprised by Bella suggesting to shop. "Baby clothes? Are you kidding me? All those months ago when Rose and Alice went out and bought an entire store of neutrals: Isn't that going to be enough?"

"Probably," she admitted. "But I want the experience, Edward. Please?" She begged with her eyes. I hated when she did that. It melted me into whatever she wanted.

"Depends." I stepped forward and grabbed her, pulling her forward me. Her stomach hit mine and her face was still half a foot away. "Do you love me yet?" We did this almost every day and it always ended the same.

"Nope."

"Figured."

And I was learning to accept it. I knew I wasn't the same when I wasn't with her, I knew I loved her. Sometimes I took her actions for love even though she stated that she still didn't love me. I always thought I was afraid of commitment and I opened myself, loved her, and she still didn't love me back. Was this really karma? I laughed to myself. Bella also had me whipped.

"Yeah, whatever. When do we go?"

A smile spread across her face. "Now! Let's go now, Edward." She started to pull me toward the door but I stopped her. She turned around, scowling. "What?"

"You eat first," I commanded.

XXXX

BPOV

"Look Edward, isn't this cute? Oh my God, I love it!" I squealed. This wasn't me: I never went goo-goo over anything. I never got excited about shopping either, especially in this "condition". Standing got uncomfortable so fast and walking around just became a hell.

He looked at the onesie. "Nice, Bella," he agreed.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Look, I know this isn't your idea of excitement, but I am so ecstatic! Smile, baby, please?" I begged, setting the little outfit down. "This is supposed to be fun."

"I'm sorry but I don't know a single man that can get into shopping. Even for a baby."

I exhaled, rubbing my tummy. I was huge. I asked Esme a few weeks ago about Edward as a baby and she said stated that Edward was pretty big too; genes really don't pass lightly.

Edward and his parents were developing on some ground. Sure I still had problems comprehending what I was doing with my life on a daily basis, but I still had the knowledge that I was bringing other people together. It was still slightly awkward, and sometimes Edward didn't show much interest in communication with them, but it was branching out. At least they were trying. I took it into account too that Rose was trying. When it was made knowledge that Edward and I were moving in together, she started offering her brother a hand – metaphorically, of course.

I think Esme and Carlisle were glad to get one son back after losing the other.

I saw my dad almost twice a week. Edward was working hard at the hospital during days and sometimes he had been taking up twenty-four hour shifts, which left me alone a lot. Especially when we moved into the new house I didn't appreciate the loneliness. So I started visiting Charlie more and stayed the odd night when Edward wouldn't be home. I didn't mind the drive in the slightest.

Dad always told me he was excited that I was having a baby, and I couldn't not agree. He did, however, really want to meet Edward. He even started questioning that this guy really existed. But Edward was incredibly nervous. I tried talking him into the whole meet-the-father thing, but Edward insisted that that trip would be a endangerment of his nuts. I just let it go.

Charlie still questioned me when he would finally meet this guy, and the only answer I had was: "When the baby comes."

"I like this," Edward said, pulling me out of my thoughts. He held up a little blue T-shirt that said "I love Daddy." I still couldn't get over how little this baby would be, so tiny, breakable, fragile.

I grinned. "Me too." I watched as Edward looked at all the baby clothes with mild shock and awe written on his face. I sighed as I gazed on. He was special, so special to me and to this baby. I was thankful for that day in the cafe where we had sex out of lust, thankful for every day that we talked, had sex, laughed at each other.

In the beginning, he seemed so distant. Like he didn't actually love me or want a baby. But it was in the privacy of each other's room that he was himself, that he was the guy I wanted to love. He wasn't like this in public – he was always so sarcastic and witty and distant, but in isolation with me, he was different. I started to learn more about him in the past months than I had in the start.

He acted like he didn't like to be taunted though it was a secret desire. He liked to be teased before sex, foreplay being one of his favourite activities. He likes to eat in the late hours of night. He's protective when he feels like it. He tries to comfort me when I'm sad but he doesn't know exactly how or what to say.

I think I love him, I thought. But I still wasn't sure.

I don't think Edward fancied the total at the department store and even I could admit that I did go overboard. The variety of onesies and all those little cute things...like the socks. So little. I was in awe, still not able to wrap myself around the fact that I had a baby. An actually human being inside me.

Crazy.

Edward carried the three bags out of the store, looking more annoyed than before. He had put some restrictions on what he would and would not pay for. It actually came down to a lot; I still had yet to have my baby shower. He said that we should have left the clothes thing to Alice but I didn't listen in the slightest.

"Hey Edward, I'm hungry," I said, pointing in the direction of the food court.

"But you just ate, Bella," he protested, clearly ready to leave before I realized something else I wanted.

"Uh, I'm eating for two!" I snapped, gesturing quickly to my stomach. I could feel the pout of defeat that wanted to break through.

"You know, I hear that's not such a good thing to do..."

"Edward," I growled.

He sighed heavily and grabbed my hand, leading me to the food court. I still had those aftershocks of that overwhelming amount of anger. When we got there I told Edward that I wanted him to grab me something quick so I eat on the way home; I respected the fact that he didn't even want to do this in the beginning. He dropped the bags against a wall off to the side and I pointed him in the direction of A&W.

Naturally, he complained and asked why I couldn't. My excuse? The baby was tired.

I stood against the wall. A few weeks ago I noticed that when I stood, it felt like my ankles had their own pulse. When I mentioned this to Edward – out of concern for my own health – he told me I had swollen ankles. I hated weight. I swore to never eat again after this baby was born.

I almost felt like sleeping but then I heard a familiar voice that made my heart stop, my skin go numb.

"Bella?"

I turned and took one look at him, only to close my eyes. "Jacob." _I'm over this, I'm over this, I'm over this_.

He looked at me blankly, his chocolately eyes widening as he took in the weight gain. He took a step closer, too close. "Why...why didn't you tell me?" he demanded, sounding a mix between sorrow and anger.

"Tell you what?" But I knew what he was talking about.

"That your pregnant!" he exclaimed, reaching forward with a hand. I slapped it away immediately. "Bella, what are you doing?"

My head was swimming. This encounter was something I used to think about, months ago, but never ever happened. I didn't even think it would. "What am I doing? I don't want you touching me like that, get away." I bent down to pick up the bags at my feet, but stopped halfway.

Edward always got things off the floor for me.

By default I was glued to that stop. I just hoped that Edward didn't take much longer.

"But Bella," Jacob said, taking another step. I felt his stomach against my baby, "you can't deny me the right."

I stared at him, so confused that I laughed. "Right? What right? What are you talking about?"

He gave me a curt look. Jacob had such a baby face that I didn't understand why his personality couldn't match. Why did he have to be such a confusing prick? "Deny me the right to know my baby," he said matter-of-factly.

"Your baby?" I exploded, drawing over the attention of a few people. "What are you talking about? This isn't your baby, Jacob!"

"Bella, we broke up almost eight months ago. How far along are you?" I didn't respond. "See? Your not going to tell me because you know dates will match up." His hand reached forward again. "Now let me touch my baby..."

His fingers just touched my T-shirt before I took a step back. "No, stop touching me. This isn't yours!" I looked after the food court and it was so hard to see through the bodies that I couldn't stop Edward anywhere. After a few more seconds searching I saw him walking through the crowd. When our eyes met he gave me a confused look.

I returned it with that look I always got before I cried. It urged him to get there faster while Jacob continued to run his mouth, harass me.

I don't know if Edward knew Jacob the second he saw him or if he missed the distress on my face, but he walked up – still quite fast – and kissed my cheek. "Here baby, teen burger, just what you wanted."

"Thanks," I said, looking up at him for a few seconds and silently pleading while I took the drink and bag. If he understood, he didn't show it.

"Who are you?" Jacob demanded.

When Edward didn't respond, I had to look up. He was watching Jacob, glaring down at him with the blankest of all blank expressions. I saw a boiling anger, a fury I hated to see, but welcomed at the given time. It was like Edward was sizing Jacob up for a fight. I grabbed his hand as if to say "I know your intentions."

Suddenly, Edward burst out laughing. "I'm your worst fucking nightmare," he said simply, reaching down for the bags, taking them in one hand and dropping the other arm over my shoulders. "You stay away from her, she's mine now," he said sweetly, oddly toxic though.

"That's my baby and you both fucking know it," Jacob insisted, trying to match Edward's no-shit tone. "The dates match up and you guys will finally get it when that baby pops out Native American!"

I closed my eyes, feeling tears form. On any other day I would have eaten him out on this, but being pregnant all I wanted to do was cry.

"Come on baby, let's get you home." As Edward started pulling me away from Jacob, I stopped for a second.

"Jacob, I had my period after we broke up. This isn't your baby," I told him as firmly as I could, before tucking myself under Edward's arm and walking away.

**Okay, there is supposed to be some loose ends, its your choice to pick what you want to believe. It was my goal to finish this by midnight, don't ask me how I wrote all this, I'm still trying to figure it out myself. LOL I'm impressed with me. *dreamy voice***

**Serious, though, one more chapter and it will be the birth! We'll meet little-dick Edward Jr.!**

**Love Glitter**


	45. Lost and Gained

**Here is the final chapter of Lost and Gained. I'm so nervous and sad. I dedicated so much time to this...it makes me emotional. Jeez.**

_Eight and a half months along..._

BPOV

I'm so pregnant.

I'm so huge.

I can't see my feet and put on the opposite sneakers when we were going out for dinner. Edward decided to tell me when we were already at the restaurant.

I almost trip walking over the threshold of our house.

Our house was perfect. I think the first few houses we checked out I picked out the stupidest problems just to avoid this, this...togetherness. I was scared to lose the comfort of my girls and the familiarity of our loft. I'd lived there for years and this change was scary. Scary to know that I was leaving behind Rose and Alice to live with Edward and a baby. It was like offering myself and my vulnerability up for his taking – what if he decided he didn't love me anymore? Or if he was tired of being tied down and just wanted to live life as before me?

Stupid thoughts, stupid, stupid, stupid.

I liked Mature Edward better.

At this time – of being _so_ pregnant and ready to burst – the baby's room was done. I didn't think I'd really be this excited about being so young and having a baby, but I don't think I've ever been happier. Especially after Jacob. I would have never thought that after my relationship with him ended that I could ever be this happy.

Ever.

"I think he's going to have brown eyes!" Alice guessed. "And Edward's hair! Do you realize how cute that could be?"

When no one responded, Jasper, being the whipped pussy he is, agreed: "Adorable."

"I know!" she shrieked, elbowing his ribs.

The gang claimed that a house was better than a loft because you have a lesser chance of disturbing neighbours, so there was always one or two of them here. The only thing keeping them away was work.

"Um, Alice, back to the cause here," Emmett said, snapping his fingers in her face. Even Edward looked like he wanted this; I wanted to smack him so hard...in the ass. "Okay, so, please Bella?"

Every single one of them – including Rosalie – gave me that pouty look, the one that never actually worked. But staring at five pouty faces was torture. "But I don't need pressure," I protested.

"Its all on us, Bella, we promise," Rose pleaded. I stood on the other side of the island counter watching them all steadily for any weaver.

None.

Edward straightened up and started to come to my side. "Bella, baby, please—"

"No you stay over there!" I snapped seriously, but a smile broke through when everyone burst out laughing. "Why do you guys want to have a party here anyway?"

"Because there's more room here for more people. Please, Bella?" Emmett asked.

"Pleasssseeeeeee?"

I sighed, knowing I was defeated. "Why are you guys asking me? Edward bought the house. He owns it too you know."

"Yeah, but you're the pregnant one," Edward told me, as if I really hadn't figured that one out. "I'm really not as...as..." I raised my eyebrows, daring him to say it. "_Emotional_ as you are about things, Bella."

"Well I don't care," I told them. Smiles broke out onto their faces. "Just...leave me alone upstairs, okay? And you"—I turned to Edward; he gave me a shocked look –"don't even think about getting into bed with me if your drunk. Got it?"

He hung his head in mock shame. "Yes, ma'am."

"Pussy," Emmett muttered, shaking his head. Edward looked up at glare at him.

"You put us all to shame," Jasper spoke up to Edward.

"Yeah!" Emmett agreed. "A man should never be this whipped!"

Rose snorted. "Your whipped as fuck, Emmett – you too, Jazz!"

There was way too much yelling and arguing for me to stand, so I went into the living room and laid myself across the couch. I felt like such a whale... Alice followed me and sat on the armrest near my head. I looked up at her.

"When is this party, exactly?"

"Later tonight." I groaned. "Well," she said, "if you don't want us to do it here, we won't... There's just so much more space here and it'll be fun."

"You already have my word, Alice, you don't need to keep persuading me."

I went up for a nap later, knowing that I wouldn't be able to sleep during this party. No one complained, and as I feel asleep I could hear them all talking downstairs.

XXXXXXXX

Rose tried to convince me that I should come down to their party in-the-making, but I readily declined. Like I had the energy to stand around and talk with people; like I even had to opportunity to drink. A party wouldn't be to my own benefit, but I didn't feel like putting a damper on all of their fun anyways. Even I knew I would be complaining through the whole thing.

I woke up at six-thirty and went downstairs to where I heard the noise. It certainly was not party level by any means, but I could feel the pre-party vibe. I just didn't have the will or heart to party at eight months pregnant.

"Evenin', Bella," Jasper greeted in an exaggerated Southern tone, swooping in and kissing my cheek.

"Hey," I snickered. "Where's Edward?"

Alice rolled her eyes from where she was pushing the corner of the couch. "Him and Emmett went to buy some liquor."

I raised my eyebrows. "And what exactly is the point of this party?" I asked curiously.

"Just a get-together," Jasper shrugged. "Sheer boredom."

"Clearly."

Jasper and Alice pushed the couch so it was feet in front of the TV, along with the other chairs, creating a large space. "The dance floor!" Alice shouted, like she's found a buried treasure.

"Nicely done," I commented. "With you Alice, I'm surprised there isn't a disco ball screwed into the ceiling." She gave me a challenging look, and my mouth dropped. "You are not screwing a disco ball into my ceiling!" I screamed. I saw Jasper flinch but Alice...not so much.

"Remember? You said this is Edward's house too, and he said we could," she said proudly.

"Mmm-uhh," I contradicted. "I don't think so. There is no way I will let you, Alice, I swear to God I will—"

Jasper stepped in front of me. I could tell he was being careful. "Its all good, Bells. We won't do it, its fine."

My breathing, which had picked up hastily, started calming on its own. "Okay. Thanks, Jazz."

The look on his face made it seem like he just dodged a fucking hurricane. "There we go, problem solved." I looked over his shoulder where Alice stood, mouth wide. "Why don't you go call Edward to pick you up some food? I mean, you are going to be upstairs _all_ night..." he added quickly.

"Yeah, I get it. Thanks." As soon as I made it to the kitchen, I heard Alice and Jasper starting up; she wasn't happy he took my side. I, however, was. I picked up the cordless – the one Edward had had in his room at the loft – and dialled Emmett's cell number. A few weeks ago that slut Tanya had picked up on ringing Edward's phone day and night. I even listened to the voicemails with him; they were nasty. The purring was like...something from a strip club! Anyway, we finally had his cell number changed a few days and I still forgot the number; well, it was in my contacts, but I was too lazy to go upstairs to get it myself.

I caught them just as they were leaving the beer store. I left a list with Emmett of what I wanted them to pick up, only talking to Edward for a few seconds; he tried to convince me to attend the party. I declined.

After hanging up I realized just how hungry I was. Opening the fridge I also realized that we _really_ needed to go grocery shopping. As I went to bend down to see the bottom shelf I felt a spring of pain in my lower back. I hissed, immediately straightening.

Edward needed to give me a back massage pronto.

They got back about twenty-minutes later and by that time, I'd drained a can of soup and was still looking for something more. Naturally, Emmett teased me on being fat and I got upset, yelled a little, cried some; then Edward kissed my cheek, told Emmett to apologized, and everything was all good. I watched from the couch as they all started putting the room together, setting the disco ball on a stand in one corner of the room. Not the same effect, but it saved my ceiling from abuse.

The living room was completely decked out.

"Who's going to be here?" I asked, shoving mint ice cream into my mouth.

Edward reached over and wiped the corner of my mouth. "A bunch of people, baby," he said. "Friends, mostly. Some people from the hospital."

"And from the store!" Alice chirped.

I sighed. "Yeah, I really don't want to participate in this," I admitted, laying back. "But I also don't want to be stuck in my bedroom."

"Then stay down with us for awhile," Rose suggested matter-of-factly. "It'll be fun! There are some non-alcoholic drinks..."

I tapped my fingers on the couch, making no sound, as I shook my head. "No thanks. I don't want to be around alcohol for fear I totally lose my mind." Behind my eyes I saw the time when I got so drunk with Edward that we had sex on the island. And then the gang walked in. That probably didn't help Edward-Small-Penis-Junior.

The distinctive pain splintered up my back, reminding me of my earlier assumption.

"Hey Edward, would you give me a back massage?" I asked, pouting slightly so he wouldn't decline.

"Yeah, sure." He plopped down on the couch leaning against the armrest and opening his legs. I sat between them and his hands started working magic.

Around us I could hardly hear the gang as their voices turned into a buzz, succumbing to the feel of Edward's hands on my back. He lifted up the back of my T-shirt – actually his button-up that I was embarrassed to say was almost too tight – and his finger started working into my skin.

The pain was gone after a few moments and I smiled lazily, about ready to doze off.

But my eyes snapped open again at the feel of the pain coming back. It felt like sticking a million needles into the muscles. I groaned under my breath, lurching forward.

"Too hard?" Edward asked immediately, releasing the pressure to a point that I barely felt anything.

"That's what she said!" Emmett shouted. I cracked a smile while laughter filled the room; I even felt Edward shaking.

"Does that even make sense?" Alice interrupted, but I could hear her laughter.

"Hardly," Rose added.

The attention had faded from the pain in my back. I reached behind me and jerked Edward's arm to get his attention.

"It hurts," I mumbled, so Emmett couldn't get another one of his sick jokes in.

His eyebrows pulled together. "Tell me when it starts hurting again," he said, looking at his watch. I shook my head, confused and loosing patients as the pain faded again. "Just do it," he muttered.

"It just stopped," I said, carefully concentrating. I resisted the urge to hold my breath and brace for that pain. What was going on? Before I could even conjure my own lame answer I felt it again. "There..." I ground it. "Please rub my back, Edward, now!"

His hand fell onto my bare skin and he slowly rubbed small circles. It was nothing like what he was doing before, so I moved my own hands back to massage.

"Done," I said, leaning back against him and exhaled. God, I was _so_ tired.

"Don't fall asleep," Edward said quickly, shaking my leg. I jumped against him. "Tell me when the next one starts."

"Next one what?" I snapped, exasperated.

Edward gently moved me off his lap with an sigh. "That's it, forget it," he said, throwing his hands up. This got the attention of Jasper and Rose; Emmett and Alice nowhere to be seen. "Jasper, go get Bella's bag upstairs in our bedroom," he ordered. I watched as Jasper sprinted up the stairs while Rose stood completely frozen.

My body was feeling the same thing. I stared up at Edward with wide eyes, waiting for him to say something. "Edward, what's going on?"

"I think your in labour, Bella," he said quickly, texting away on his phone. By the look on his face it seemed important. "Rose, you may want to leave for this," he suggested, kneeling in front of me.

I felt all color drain.

"Yeah," she breathed, "I'll go call Mom and Dad."

She started to walk away but Edward stopped her. "No, call Emmett and Alice, I just texted Carlisle now." She nodded, walking away in a daze. He turned back to me, glancing at his phone once more. "Okay, baby, take off your pants for me."

"No Edward, get me to the hospital!" I shrieked, kicking as he grabbed on the waistband. He ordered me to lift, which I complied too while complaining. "What are you doing? Do you even know what your doing?"

"Bella, I didn't spend all those extra hours at work for fun. Spent some time in the pregnancy ward and learned some stuff, I know what I'm doing. I'm just going to check you, see how much time we have left."

"But are you sure this is it?"

"Seventy percent."

"So either way you get a good feel it?"

"Pretty much."

I closed my eyes and put my head back against the couch. I didn't care what Edward was doing down there anymore, I just wanted to be at the hospital. Fear was boiling inside me. I'd dreamt of this day for months and how excited it would be, but I felt anything but. I was nervous, scared something would happen. What would happen if my baby didn't make it through right? What would happen with Edward and I?

I wished I could lose all feeling down there as Edward probed. I prayed he was doing it right.

"Not bad." He exhaled the words like he had been holding his own breath. "We have time, Bella." I watched as Edward wiped his fingers on his black T-shirt, leaving a glistening streak across it.  
For once I just wanted to gag.

He helped me pull my pants up as Jasper clattered down the stairs, looking bleary-eyed. "I think I'm gonna be sick!" he moaned.

Edward was firing off texts. "Its okay, Jazz. You shouldn't see anything, so chill out." He stood up and pulled me with him. I crouched over again, the pain taking over every nerve. I could feel it getting stronger. "Okay, Carlisle is picking up Charlie on the way up, let's get going."

Rose came around the corner with my Vans slip-ons. She bent down and helped put them on while I held on Edward's arm. "Are you in any pain?" she asked, putting her arm around my waist, her hand laying against her nephew.

"Not much," I told her truthfully. "This isn't as bad as I thought."

XXXXX

"SHIT, THIS HURTS!" I screeched, trying to sit up as if I could just get away from the pain. "This is _not_ what they showed me in health class in grade ten!" Everyone around me laughed, if only I had the strength to punch them all. "This is not fucking funny!" I sobbed. "Just wait till you guys have drunken sex, then who will be laughing!"

"Me!" Alice threw her hand up, glancing at Rose. "I don't do drunk sex."

"Bull shit!" I accused. "Remember in grade twelve, the night we graduated, you got so wasted that that frat boy took you to..." I broke off as a contraction hit. I dug my nails into Edward and groaned inward. It passed in seconds but they were coming more often now, and the machine was monitoring it all.

"Back to his room!" Rose finished, laughing harder now.

Alice was fuming red. "He was _not_ a frat boy!" she objected. "He got it up for a girl you know!"

"He looked like it," I groaned, closing my eyes.

"He acted like it," Rose added.

"But he wasn't," Alice protested.

Jasper put his hand up. "I don't like this topic of choice. Please switch it." Jasper seemed better now, more comfortable than back at our house, where he looked like he thought I would pop a baby out then and there. He was sitting against the wall beside where Emmett stood; Alice and Rose occupying both chairs and Edward sitting on the edge of my hospital bed.

"Uh, are all you guys aloud to be in here at once?" I asked curiously, voice strained. Even with no contractions I felt an ever-lasting pain.

Emmett grinned toothily. "I'm not here!" he called childishly, jumping behind the curtain that circled around the bed.

I rolled my eyes at his antics, turning to Edward. "When are they going to be here?" I demanded.

"Hopefully soon." Edward glanced at the clock on the wall.

"Its been over two and a half hours," Jasper complained.

Suddenly Rose's eyes lit up, and in a sweet and menacing voice said, "Hey, Edward...you get to meet Papa Swan!"

A grin spread across my own face as I turned to him. His face looked pale. "Yeah!" I chimed in. "Aren't you excited?"

He sputtered, frozen, dreading. This just amplified the excitement I had to see my father.

The contractions got worse and worse as the hours started to wear on. The gang all ventured out to get something to eat and make sure to cancel all party plans. I think I heard something about "strippers" from Jasper. I'd be lying to say this didn't hurt, it was getting just so much worse. I wanted this baby out of me now. I smiled now that Edward and I were alone.

I opened to talk but as a contraction hit, I gasped and shrieked while Edward talked me through it. I feel back, panting.

"Where is my orgasm?" I joked, lolling my head to the side.

"What?" he laughed.

"The contraction has a very bland comparison to an orgasm, the contraction's painful and orgasm just rocks. But it kind of...has that same feeling..." I searched for the word.

"Convulsing of the vagina?" Edward asked in a accented voice.

I laughed. "Pretty much, I guess." I sighed, picking up his hand. I don't think he realized that this was changing experience for us both – this was the birthing of our future. Yes, I was only getting it now too, that I was carrying a little bundle that is my future.

"Edward, I love you."

_Finally_. After months and months of waiting, he finally got that answer. And I'll admit, I was quite happy that I finally felt it. Edward looked at me with such an intense emotion in his eyes. Every time Jacob looked at me I always thought I saw love. That look in his eyes...I confused the lust for love. I thought I knew what love looked like in someone's eyes, but the look in Edward's just proved me wrong.

"I love you, too, Bella." He kissed my forehead. "Your too good for me."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close to me. We could only get so close because of the baby and wires they connected to me. He held me through the contractions, which were so close that I knew it wouldn't be long before I brought this baby into the world.

"What are we going to name him, Edward?" I asked suddenly, pulling away enough to see his face.

His fingers pushed the matter, sweaty hair out of my face. "I think we should name him Robert, after that actor guy Robert Pattinson. You know, he plays that vampire guy..." he suggested. I couldn't believe he was serious. "Plus he looks like yours truly."

"Why wouldn't we just name him 'Edward' then?"

"Because that sounds corny," he replied matter-of-factly. "Father and son named the same thing? Yeah, turn-off in bed."

"Well I think we should name him Xavier," I put in. After a wave of pain I added: "You know I _love_ Xavier Samuel – he's so hot and his accent..."

"Robert has an accent too, you know, Bella," Edward said, hitting his head in a _Duh!_ manner.

I heard footsteps in the hall and I just had this sense to know that it was my dad. I looked over Edward's shoulder as the door opened, abandoning our conversation.

Charlie walked in, following closely by Esme and Carlisle. My dad immediately smiled and came over to my side of the bed, as if he barely noticed the man I was clinging onto.

"Hi, Bells, sorry we're late," he said. I did the job of releasing Edward and embracing my dad from still laying on the bed. "How are you doing?"

"Its painful," I said, laughing a little. "Not as quick as they make it seem on TV." I felt Edward shift and start talking to his parents.

Charlie leaned in and kissed my cheek. "I called and told your mom about this," he whispered. "That's why we're late."

I nodded. "I figured. She has a right to know."

"She's taking the next flight out."

Again, I nodded accepting this.

I took care of introductions between Edward and my father. Edward was wary but Charlie looked like he was on cloud nine. Before I knew it they were talking all on their own, while I accepted hugs and kisses from Carlisle and Esme. A few minutes later, Rose, Alice, Jasper and Emmett all filed back in and completely filling the room. It was getting hard to breath and as the contractions were hitting their peak, my groans and shrieking seemed louder than before. Plus I felt embarrassed for doing this in front of everyone.

Everyone I loved was here, crowded in this small room as we awaited the arrival of our future. Excitement was alight as well as sadness – I felt it in my dad. He was sad his little girl was growing up, finally. Bringing a baby of her own into the world, living in her own house with a man she loves. I could get the sadness, but the smile never faded from his face. In fact, everyone was smiling. I don't know how they all didn't get kicked out when the nurse came to check in me – literally _in _me. Everyone put their hands over their eyes like respectable children. Even Charlie.

Everyone who ever showed how much they love me was compacted in this small space. Everyone who ever helped me with life was here – who took care of me, kept me company—just _loved_ me. They were all here, the people that mattered most, people that I would trade the world for.

Hearing my baby's heartbeat thudding, I knew this was the single most important moment of my life.

Reading to move forward and be happy for once. There was no worrying of Edward turning on me – it was so evident in his eyes. We would love until the die we die. We would have our little baby, maybe more than one. Because Edward brought me so much more happiness than anyone else.

Even though I did lose Jacob, I still gained Edward in the end.

**And there you have it, the single sentence that I planned before even writing a single word of this story. I have to say at the end I was squealing SO childishly...**

**Thank you all for baring with me through this entire thing...Its been almost a year sense Lost and Gained first posted. Shocking, this is the first writing project I have ever fully completed, and I thank you for all your support. **

**I intended to leave a few loose ends to plaque you. However, if you have any questions you REALLY MUST have the answer to, just review it. If there are a lot of questions I will do another post to address them. **

**Thank you all so much for baring with me these 11 months, I love you all.**

**And as usual, review and read my other stories...twitter me...RobstenKisses**

**Love Glitter.**

**P.S. I'm so sad I have completed this I almost want to erase it and just keep going. But I won't. Thanks for reading.**


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